Cry for help

[trinity06 1]

I a memeber of this forum, and i have posted here once. Here is my new story. On the 10th of this month was our second year aniversary of our marriage. Though i receive no present, but i am not worried about that. I am still a student, and i have a fifteen month old baby with my husband, i dont work, but i go to school in the evening. I have been going through emotional abuise from him. He insult me, a lot. He called me stupid, retarted, i have no brain, i am senceless, i mean he called me whatever comes out of his mouth. And when ever he is insulting me, i have never for once talk back at him. Otherwise i will go straight to the bathroom and cried, once i am done, i will wiped my eyes and come out, pretending nothing happen.

He has taken his house key and mailbox key from me for the past three months. I dont go anywhere, i stay indoor 24 hours unless i go to school. I have no access to nothing in the house. I am the only one taking care of our daughter, he only watch her for just three hours when i am in school. And he doestn feed her, while i am in school, so whenever i got back from school, i will feed my baby. He once told me that, i am the one who want to have a baby so i should take care and watch her. Though he bought her food, daiper, colths, and toys. But he doesnt like to watch her. Even when i am sick, i have to take care of her.

Right now, i am at the hedge of moving out. He left me standing at school on wednesday, when he knew that i have no ride home, since i dont have a car. He did that, because he said that, i supposed to leave the class room by 9.20pm. And the same thing happen today, he could have left me, but i caught up with him. Now he said i wont be going to school anymore, because he cant keep baby siting for me. And he was asking me to call my sister in Nigeria, to ask her if she has a room, because he will be sending me back to Nigeria. But i told him that i am not going back to Nigeria, because i have my baby to take care of. So he was asking me where will i stay, because he doesnt want me to stay with him.

Now i really want to know what chance do i have when i will be lifting the condition on my greencard. My greencard will expire by december of 2008.

And this is the evidence that i have

My name is on his house insurance

Medical insurance

Dental insurance

My daughter's birht certificate

Picture of me and my baby we took with his family, just one

I am the beneficiary on his life insurance

Joint taxreturn of 2005 and 2006

Card from his brother thanking us for the present we gave to them during there weding

Card from our neighbour thanking us for the present we gave to them during the birth of there daughter

And now i dont know if i am pregnant.

Please i really need advice on what to do, because i have no relation or any one in the states. I live in Fair oaks CA in Sacramento county.

Please help me.

[True Love at Last 15]

Im very sorry to hear about your situation. Your question is something that you will have no control over until 2008(Dec). What you should be thinking about is what your going to do in your current situation.

Where will you stay? What will you do for money? Do you want to stay married to him?

I wouldnt trust this man with my child. You may need the advice of a Divorce and Immigration lawyer. Right now you are in an abusive relationship that is NOT healthy for you or your baby.

I wish you all the best.

[Jasman0717 9]

I am very sorry for your situation. I think he is abusing you and recommend you contact the authories. This isn't good for you and certainly can't be good for your child. You could contact the social services agency, because of the child they can take action quickly.

[july052007 0]

if you are undergoing an abuse,..,, of any kind.. emotionally or physically, u should contact the authorities and professionals and have this documented to serve as a proof.... in our seminar (with foreign spouse) you need to document everything for a chance of filing adjustment for yourself.. and you should be financially stable... so you need to prove that you can take care of urself financially...

im sorry to hear your condition.... hope you get over this soon...

[brnidokiegurl 0]

i believe he can take your name off the insurances etc just as fast as he put them on...

[TracyTN 237]

Please seek help - you can call the National Domestic Abuse Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. They are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week - so call when you are safe and he is not there.

They will find any resources available to you in your local area. They have experience with immigrants who are abused, too.

The system is there to help - you just need to reach out to them.

Please be safe.

[PaulineA 1]

I a memeber of this forum, and i have posted here once. Here is my new story. On the 10th of this month was our second year aniversary of our marriage. Though i receive no present, but i am not worried about that. I am still a student, and i have a fifteen month old baby with my husband, i dont work, but i go to school in the evening. I have been going through emotional abuise from him. He insult me, a lot. He called me stupid, retarted, i have no brain, i am senceless, i mean he called me whatever comes out of his mouth. And when ever he is insulting me, i have never for once talk back at him. Otherwise i will go straight to the bathroom and cried, once i am done, i will wiped my eyes and come out, pretending nothing happen.

He has taken his house key and mailbox key from me for the past three months. I dont go anywhere, i stay indoor 24 hours unless i go to school. I have no access to nothing in the house. I am the only one taking care of our daughter, he only watch her for just three hours when i am in school. And he doestn feed her, while i am in school, so whenever i got back from school, i will feed my baby. He once told me that, i am the one who want to have a baby so i should take care and watch her. Though he bought her food, daiper, colths, and toys. But he doesnt like to watch her. Even when i am sick, i have to take care of her.

Right now, i am at the hedge of moving out. He left me standing at school on wednesday, when he knew that i have no ride home, since i dont have a car. He did that, because he said that, i supposed to leave the class room by 9.20pm. And the same thing happen today, he could have left me, but i caught up with him. Now he said i wont be going to school anymore, because he cant keep baby siting for me. And he was asking me to call my sister in Nigeria, to ask her if she has a room, because he will be sending me back to Nigeria. But i told him that i am not going back to Nigeria, because i have my baby to take care of. So he was asking me where will i stay, because he doesnt want me to stay with him.

Now i really want to know what chance do i have when i will be lifting the condition on my greencard. My greencard will expire by december of 2008.

And this is the evidence that i have

My name is on his house insurance

Medical insurance

Dental insurance

My daughter's birht certificate

Picture of me and my baby we took with his family, just one

I am the beneficiary on his life insurance

Joint taxreturn of 2005 and 2006

Card from his brother thanking us for the present we gave to them during there weding

Card from our neighbour thanking us for the present we gave to them during the birth of there daughter

And now i dont know if i am pregnant.

Please i really need advice on what to do, because i have no relation or any one in the states. I live in Fair oaks CA in Sacramento county.

Please help me.

Sorry to hear about your situation. You should contact womens shelters in your area in order to get out of that situation as quickly as possible. For yours and your babies sake seek help fast. Get yourself to a doctor also to determine whether you are pregnant again or not, as you mentioned this in your post.

Once you are safe you can then think about the removal of conditions. The evidence that you have looks good, but I think you may need more. Joint bank statements for instance. Have a look at the guides here on VJ for this part of the process. Good luck, and stay safe.

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

I would suggest that the both of you should seek the help of a marriage counselor or other neutral third party. You need to demand this of your husband for the sake of getting this family back on track. His reaction will speak voumes on whether or not your relationship can be turned around and saved.

Keep yourself!

[trinity06 1]

I would suggest that the both of you should seek the help of a marriage counselor or other neutral third party. You need to demand this of your husband for the sake of getting this family back on track. His reaction will speak voumes on whether or not your relationship can be turned around and saved.

Keep yourself!

Thank you all for your replies. Well as for now, i have made up my mind that i will be moving out, because i cant go on like this. My daughter cry when ever she see my crying or when she see her dad yelling at me.

The documents listed her is all i got, we dont have joint account, credit card. He has his and i have mine. I understand he can take my name of his life insurance, but i think i will look for something else. One thing is i dont love him anymore, because of what he has put me through. He is cheating on me online with one female. I red his email on time, and what i saw was unbearable. He has the femal nudes picture. He saved them and they are 40 pictures, and the email they have been sending to each other even when we are married. I asked him, and he denied, he said they are all old pictures, before he met me. I saw the dates, even when we moved to our new house. He lied to me that she is just his friend, and the mail and pictures are old one. So my question to him was, why did he saved them, since he is married, why cant he just delet them all. He asked me to mind my own business, that next time i did that again, i will be on my own. I just keep quiet, and never ask him again.

Since i have been going through the emtionla abuise, i have been writen a journal, i kept secret. My dean at school gave me the numbers i can call. Right now, i am looking for a job, because i really need to move out.

What i will like to know is that, will it be hard for me to remove the condition on my green card when the time comes, since i believe i will be divorce by then.

[diadromous mermaid 36]

I would suggest that the both of you should seek the help of a marriage counselor or other neutral third party. You need to demand this of your husband for the sake of getting this family back on track. His reaction will speak voumes on whether or not your relationship can be turned around and saved.

Keep yourself!

Thank you all for your replies. Well as for now, i have made up my mind that i will be moving out, because i cant go on like this. My daughter cry when ever she see my crying or when she see her dad yelling at me.

The documents listed her is all i got, we dont have joint account, credit card. He has his and i have mine. I understand he can take my name of his life insurance, but i think i will look for something else. One thing is i dont love him anymore, because of what he has put me through. He is cheating on me online with one female. I red his email on time, and what i saw was unbearable. He has the femal nudes picture. He saved them and they are 40 pictures, and the email they have been sending to each other even when we are married. I asked him, and he denied, he said they are all old pictures, before he met me. I saw the dates, even when we moved to our new house. He lied to me that she is just his friend, and the mail and pictures are old one. So my question to him was, why did he saved them, since he is married, why cant he just delet them all. He asked me to mind my own business, that next time i did that again, i will be on my own. I just keep quiet, and never ask him again.

Since i have been going through the emtionla abuise, i have been writen a journal, i kept secret. My dean at school gave me the numbers i can call. Right now, i am looking for a job, because i really need to move out.

What i will like to know is that, will it be hard for me to remove the condition on my green card when the time comes, since i believe i will be divorce by then.

No, it shouldn't be a problem removing conditions as long as:

1.) You have evidence of a shared life and a shared residence

2.) You have evidence of commingled finances while married

3.) You have a divorce decree

[Ta Ta 1]

Where do you live ? Some cities have Nigerian Associations that may be able to assist you and help you not to feel so alone.

Also Catholic Charities organizations. with legal help etc.

[trinity06 1]

Where do you live ? Some cities have Nigerian Associations that may be able to assist you and help you not to feel so alone.

Also Catholic Charities organizations. with legal help etc.

I live in Fair Oaks Sacramento county in CA.

[vanessaandbrent 0]

Where do you live ? Some cities have Nigerian Associations that may be able to assist you and help you not to feel so alone.

Also Catholic Charities organizations. with legal help etc.

I live in Fair Oaks Sacramento county in CA.

Here is the link to the Sacramento Association of Nigerians - they might be able to offer help or support.

http://www.sanusa.org/

My thoughts are with you. Stay safe.

[L_n_O 3]

good luck.. I hope you find the strength to move out of the house and into a better situation for you and your daughter.

print the emails of his infedelity if you get the chance.. you might need it for the divorce

[Kajikit 65]

Please do NOT stay with this man for one moment longer than you can help. He isn't a husband sweety, he's an abuser. If he says he wants you to go, say 'yes', pack your bags and your daughter, and GET OUT OF THERE! (and even if he doesn't want you to leave, leave anyway...) Nobody should have to live like that...