Mena Divorce

[aya*abouelnasr 0]

It is sad. I am sure that Dee never entered into her marriage with the intentions of bringing her husband here and then divorcing him. I am sure she had the same hopes and dreams of living happily ever after as we all do. From the post that I have read, she did all that she could do to make the marriage a good one, but was met with her husbands defiance along every step of the way. Maybe it was cultural differences, maybe it was the adjustments that her husband was going through, maybe it was more of an adjustment than either of them felt comfortable making and accepting. The good thing is that when she made the decision that enough is enough, she got herself and her sons out of it. The saddest is that by bringing him here and living thru all of this is the only way she could have ever known for sure what the ending would be.

For myself, the only way I am ever going to know what can happen is by seeing this thru to the end. Call me a fool, say I am being blinded by love, say anything you want. Yes, I did willingly bring this all here to vj and I opened myself up to everyones opinions, be they bad or good. I take full responsibility.

BUT, I am in control of my own destiny, the choice is mine to make. If what my husband is going through right now truly is a depression period, then what kind of person would I be if I just ended our marriage and walked away from him. In my opinion, not a very compassionate one.

So, maybe one day you will see me posting on here that I need help and guidance getting out of the bad situation I am in. Maybe I will need your shoulders to cry on and listen to "I told you so".

But, then again maybe in a year I will be posting about how euphorically happy we are. Only time and getting him here, will tell.

The only thing I can ask, please be patient with me. I am growing more and more everyday, but I am still a work in progress.

May God Bless each and every one of us, by His mercy and grace, we will all find our way.

InshaAllah

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

It is sad. I am sure that Dee never entered into her marriage with the intentions of bringing her husband here and then divorcing him. I am sure she had the same hopes and dreams of living happily ever after as we all do. From the post that I have read, she did all that she could do to make the marriage a good one, but was met with her husbands defiance along every step of the way. Maybe it was cultural differences, maybe it was the adjustments that her husband was going through, maybe it was more of an adjustment than either of them felt comfortable making and accepting. The good thing is that when she made the decision that enough is enough, she got herself and her sons out of it. The saddest is that by bringing him here and living thru all of this is the only way she could have ever known for sure what the ending would be.

For myself, the only way I am ever going to know what can happen is by seeing this thru to the end. Call me a fool, say I am being blinded by love, say anything you want. Yes, I did willingly bring this all here to vj and I opened myself up to everyones opinions, be they bad or good. I take full responsibility.

BUT, I am in control of my own destiny, the choice is mine to make. If what my husband is going through right now truly is a depression period, then what kind of person would I be if I just ended our marriage and walked away from him. In my opinion, not a very compassionate one.

So, maybe one day you will see me posting on here that I need help and guidance getting out of the bad situation I am in. Maybe I will need your shoulders to cry on and listen to "I told you so".

But, then again maybe in a year I will be posting about how euphorically happy we are. Only time and getting him here, will tell.

The only thing I can ask, please be patient with me. I am growing more and more everyday, but I am still a work in progress.

May God Bless each and every one of us, by His mercy and grace, we will all find our way.

InshaAllah

I personally if I was having the same doubts as you are would get a post nuptual drawn up with a divorce settlement thrown in. Get him to sign it in tripilicate with a notary and tell him you are doing this because you need to have things ironed out in case things do not work out. Nothing like 36 pages of paper to make him go "Um , maybe My wife is having second thought and if I love her and wanna be with her, I better act like I care about talking to her." I mean come on, you are in AP, not denied. Gees. He needs to be hanging in there with you. But it is ramadan girlfriend and that means iftars and dominos and going to peoples houses and eating all over and fun things on TV. Talking to you on the phone may be the least interesting thing for him to do. He is in the prettiest month of the year for muslims, a foodarama with family and neighbors. I know my husband is sitting outside playing dominos every night laughing and having fun. Maybe he is just really trying to get stuff off his mind. Maybe nothing is in his head right now. Who knows? But getting this prenup drawn up at least would help your feelings of giving you an escape. I feel like I am watching the Jordanian version of the runaway bride or something ( this movie comes to mind as I read these posts)

Cheers anyway

Why does the mena board feel like a SEINFELD episode to me? Am I Elaine? Who is Peezy? Who is everyone on this board? I think I need to go home. Its been a long day at work and my imagination is running away with me.

[♥JP♥ 5]

If someone asked me to sign a prenup or postnup, I wouldnt marry them.

Edited to say: Unless its George Clooney. LOL

Edited September 20, 2007 by amira_ordonia

[JODO 2]

If someone asked me to sign a prenup or postnup, I wouldnt marry them.

Edited to say: Unless its George Clooney. LOL

Zahi

[♥JP♥ 5]

If someone asked me to sign a prenup or postnup, I wouldnt marry them.

Edited to say: Unless its George Clooney. LOL

Zahi

Heckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk no!

[JODO 2]

If someone asked me to sign a prenup or postnup, I wouldnt marry them.

Edited to say: Unless its George Clooney. LOL

Zahi

Heckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk no!

[~~~water~~~ 0]

Hi Tammy ... I am here for you whatever you decide to do... and like you said it's your risk to take... We never know our fate, please don't regret posting and thanks for sharing your story

[Dr. A ♥ O 203]

Thank you for the sound advice Wahrania. While I'm pretty optimistic I am also practical. I have beared witness to my Mom marrying and divorcing 4 times, and my father entering his fourth marriage. Between both their many revolver door marriages as their child I had to endure much along with my siblings and it was a nightmare. I don't wish it on anyone.

It doesn't take spousal abuse for me to have doubts and suspicions. I know it can make my Husband upset I question him on things but I also have valid reasons when I do.

So with that said, yes, I think I will collect the $1,000 and get an arabic female lawyer to draw up 36 pages of post-nuptial protection with a divorce settlement thrown in and have him sign it before he comes here.

If I learned anything from divorce it's that the women that got out of the divorces clean with my Dad had their educations and a fine lawyer.

Somewhere someone said, "Better safe than sorry", and they must have a good reason for it.

[doodlebug 3]

Didn't most of you have an islamic marriage? That contract is basically a prenup in my view since it details out who gets what in the case of divorce. Why pay more money for the same thing? Or am I missing something? That is the whole purpose of the Islamic marriage contract and that is why it is SOOO important to be as specific as possible in it. It's there to protect you.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Didn't most of you have an islamic marriage? That contract is basically a prenup in my view since it details out who gets what in the case of divorce. Why pay more money for the same thing? Or am I missing something? That is the whole purpose of the Islamic marriage contract and that is why it is SOOO important to be as specific as possible in it. It's there to protect you.

We are talking about property settlements in the American courts and waiver of appearances and representation allowing the SO to be able to go into court and divorce her husband without problems and him going back and forth threatening marital

property. She needs to go talk to a family law attorney,pay a 100 dollar consulation fee if she really wants to do this. Maher and all that stuff has nothing to do with her easily exiting a painful marriage. Thats what pre and post nups are for and they need to be iron clad

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Didn't most of you have an islamic marriage? That contract is basically a prenup in my view since it details out who gets what in the case of divorce. Why pay more money for the same thing? Or am I missing something? That is the whole purpose of the Islamic marriage contract and that is why it is SOOO important to be as specific as possible in it. It's there to protect you.

a Jordanian islamic marriage contract will not address court appearances and waiver of representation. An islamic contract will have to be enforced and translated . An american pre nup is made to address a bad ending from the very beginning...been there done that ... was glad I had one and I know a female arabic attorney if any of you wanna talk to her.

[doodlebug 3]

Didn't most of you have an islamic marriage? That contract is basically a prenup in my view since it details out who gets what in the case of divorce. Why pay more money for the same thing? Or am I missing something? That is the whole purpose of the Islamic marriage contract and that is why it is SOOO important to be as specific as possible in it. It's there to protect you.

a Jordanian islamic marriage contract will not address court appearances and waiver of representation. An islamic contract will have to be enforced and translated . An american pre nup is made to address a bad ending from the very beginning...been there done that ... was glad I had one and I know a female arabic attorney if any of you wanna talk to her.

No thanks. So you are saying that islamic contracts are not enforceable?

[♥JP♥ 5]

Didn't most of you have an islamic marriage? That contract is basically a prenup in my view since it details out who gets what in the case of divorce. Why pay more money for the same thing? Or am I missing something? That is the whole purpose of the Islamic marriage contract and that is why it is SOOO important to be as specific as possible in it. It's there to protect you.

a Jordanian islamic marriage contract will not address court appearances and waiver of representation. An islamic contract will have to be enforced and translated . An american pre nup is made to address a bad ending from the very beginning...been there done that ... was glad I had one and I know a female arabic attorney if any of you wanna talk to her.

No thanks. So you are saying that islamic contracts are not enforceable?

Not in a US court of law.

[peezey 0]

Totally untrue. The marriage is recognized as legal and all property agreements are and will be enforceable as long as the contract isn't contrary to US law.

If the contract isn't recognized, the marriage wouldn't be either.

Edited September 21, 2007 by peezey

[doodlebug 3]

Totally untrue. The marriage is recognized as legal and all property agreements are and will be enforceable as long as the contract isn't contrary to US law.

If the contract isn't recognized, the marriage wouldn't be either.

Thanks, Peezey, that is what I had understood as well.