Prenups

[Kotenochek 0]

thanks guys for all the info!I still think it is smart thing to do for both of people.Moreover I believe if 2 loving people are able to discuss it before marriage they will go through any problems together,since they have no issues talking about any subject:)

[Turboguy 6]

I see some people who feel it is a bad thing for the marriage to talk about something like this. If you have no need of a prenup then that discussion is not necessary. If you have a situation where it is important and are doing one fair for both people then in my thoughts if you can not discuss something like that together you do not have a relationship that is going to last anyway.

[dagobert2 0]

Me...married 14 years, two kids, divorced. No pre-nup, more liabilities than assetts, didn't matter. Raised two kids, accumulated assetts, kids grown, now remarried. Considered pre-nup since I have significant assetts acquired outside the marriage. At some point in our discussions it became apparent to both of us that the idea of a pre-nup is simply bad kharma. It may also be good business. We decided against it as marriage is a lot more about kharma than business.

Chris

[visceral image 0]

plus 2000 a month for five years. I will be getting married again and I have faith it will all work well, but if not, I will work tirelessly to make sure she is well taken care of.

Have the five years already passed? If not, does your future spouse know that all the income she "earns" and puts in your "joint" bank account can be seized by your ex-spouse? As well as all your separate property, including the home you might be living in and the car you are driving, in case things go sour financially.

yes, I paid her off in two years because I knew I wanted to start another life with someone new-someday.

[slim 1,525]

Considered pre-nup since I have significant assetts acquired outside the marriage. At some point in our discussions it became apparent to both of us that the idea of a pre-nup is simply bad kharma. It may also be good business. We decided against it as marriage is a lot more about kharma than business.

Will you please re-read your own post? (And read it aloud to the group?)

Marriage is a lot more about kharma than business????

Where? In Hollywood, maybe. Everywhere else, including the places where there is an entire industry devoted to "scamming" foreigners with "significant assets acquired" marriage has a lot more to do with business than kharma.

Sure, I'm like everyone else. I hate the idea of having to "protect" yourself and your assets from the person you're signing on to spend eternity with. However, in the real world, if things are going to go sour, and there's over a 50% chance they will, you're going to lose a "significant" chunk of your acquired assets if you don't have a pre-nup.

[slim 1,525]

plus 2000 a month for five years. I will be getting married again and I have faith it will all work well, but if not, I will work tirelessly to make sure she is well taken care of.

Have the five years already passed? If not, does your future spouse know that all the income she "earns" and puts in your "joint" bank account can be seized by your ex-spouse? As well as all your separate property, including the home you might be living in and the car you are driving, in case things go sour financially.

yes, I paid her off in two years because I knew I wanted to start another life with someone new-someday.

Two years, $120,000. (Plus the house.)

And it's got more to do with kharma than business?

[visceral image 0]

plus 2000 a month for five years. I will be getting married again and I have faith it will all work well, but if not, I will work tirelessly to make sure she is well taken care of.

Have the five years already passed? If not, does your future spouse know that all the income she "earns" and puts in your "joint" bank account can be seized by your ex-spouse? As well as all your separate property, including the home you might be living in and the car you are driving, in case things go sour financially.

yes, I paid her off in two years because I knew I wanted to start another life with someone new-someday.

Two years, $120,000. (Plus the house.)

And it's got more to do with kharma than business?

a bit more psychology than kharma or business; she was driving me nuts so to save my head-it was best to cut the cords

[slim 1,525]

Why is divorce so expensive?

Because it's worth it!

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

To enter into a marriage not believing it will last forever is out of the question for me. You MUST believe it. My first wife divorced me not the other way around. She decided to exit the marriage. I would have stayed with her forever as that is the promise I made to her when we decided to marry. She asked me to free her and I agreed only because it would make her happy. As for this coming marriage, I see absolutely zero in common with the previous in comparison. The multicultural issues serve as a driving force that only strengthen and keep us together. We compliment each other. Neither of us made our decisions lightly. We have been together for over 4 years. I knew my first wife less than one year.

I don't know anyone that thinks I've, "bought a mail-order bride. I've never been called sleezy. The most anyone has ever said, negative, is, "She's probably just after a green card." I know a few people that feel ANYONE that looks for a woman or man (international or domestic) on the internet is completely desperate. But the mass majority of folks I meet think what I'm doing is okay by them.

As I said, I have NO problem with disagreements. If you want a prenuptial agreement have one, if BOTH parties want it. I just know if I were a woman and my future husband even hinted to one. He would be out of my life toot sweet. I'd feel the same way if the tables were turned. Prenuptial agreements (or any other "What if we divorce?" papers) have no place in a marriage wealthy or not. Marriage is a covenent to share ALL with each other. No exclusions. Can't handle that? Stay single and completely unattached.

Tell me something Jeffery. You would never do a prenup because you are head over heals in love and your marriage is going to last for eternity, Right? I think you said you were divorced. What did you think about your first marriage? Did you marry that woman with the idea it would last a few years? Don't you think the same could happen in your second? Don't you think most people get married expecting it to last forever? Most don't. Intercultural marriages may even have a little more risk.

I am glad you are sharing your opinion and it is definately your right and of course it is mine to disagree with you. I don't disagree with your right not to want a prenup. Maybe there is no reason for one. Some people think anyone who buys a mail order bride is sleazy. They have a right to feel that way and we all know they are foolish and misinformed. There is nothing wrong with wanting a prenup as long as you are not forcing it on your future spouce. There is nothing wrong with not wanting one. It has nothing to do with the realtionship. It governs divorce not marriage and everyone with or without one hopes their marriage will be happy and long lasting.

[Nancy2015 2]

Why is divorce so expensive?

Because it's worth it!

:lol: :lol:

[Thomas-n-Elena 0]

No prenup here neither one of us had anything so whats to lose. Besides I told my wife the day we were married that there was only one way one of us was getting out of the marriage and it involves a wooden box.(I love to stick the trully romantic chords)

[Satellite 1]

We have been together for over 4 years. I knew my first wife less than one year.

Having known my "foreign" wife for "two years" before marriage can tell you that I got to know the people I dated before a whole lot better than her in one year then I ever did in my two "three month" trips. Reason, when you get to know someone in person and you interact with them on an equal playing field (i.e. you are not in a foreign country, you are not on a vacation, you are not a guest, both speak the same language, both are accustomed to the US, both are interacting in their usual ordinary routine) you really get to know them. Anyway this is debatable, but I think you can get to know someone a whole lot better right here in your hometown then you can through email, phone calls, messages, and short trips to isolated places half way across the world.

Marriage is a covenant to share ALL with each other.

This is starting to become funny, because you are still missing the underline point of a prenup. Let me ask you this, do you believe a divorce (period after marriage / separation) is a covenant to share all? Well guess when a prenup is triggered? During a divorce, and not during marriage. At least for the kind we are talking about on here.

[slim 1,525]

I think a pre-nup is a must if you have "significant assets" acquired and are marrying anyone. I think you're a looney if you are not getting a pre-nup and you're an older gentleman marrying a younger lady you met over the internet and have corresponded with only through e-mails, telephone calls and a visit or two.

I corresponded with my wife for over five years before we shacked up together. We were both surprised to learn we were so different from the idea of who we had made ourselves out to be over the phone and computer. Not that we really changed or sugar-coated who we were, but in the whimsical romance stage, everything is good. You forget about dirty socks on the floor next to the hamper and dishes and the smells wafting through the bathroom. About how you interact in public and how each of you will take offense to something the other says or does and the subsequent argument that follows.

If you have love, real love, you can work it out and work together to overcome no matter what it is. However, if you're both in it to simply "see what happens" then you better hope you've done a pre-nup.

[Nancy2015 2]

You forget about dirty socks on the floor next to the hamper and dishes and the smells wafting through the bathroom. About how you interact in public and how each of you will take offense to something the other says or does and the subsequent argument that follows.

Amen to that

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

My fours years including not only those "vacations" but also living with her in Russian Federation for an entire year as a normal family. We both had jobs, paid bills, spoke the same language, and lived entirely as man and wife in our own flat and SHARED ALL. I did what very few are willing to do. If you can live together in her country with her customs and culture, America should only be easier. As I said, I know my fiancée far better than most do prior to her U.S. entry.

Having known my "foreign" wife for "two years" before marriage can tell you that I got to know the people I dated before a whole lot better than her in one year then I ever did in my two "three month" trips. Reason, when you get to know someone in person and you interact with them on an equal playing field (i.e. you are not in a foreign country, you are not on a vacation, you are not a guest, both speak the same language, both are accustomed to the US, both are interacting in their usual ordinary routine) you really get to know them. Anyway this is debatable, but I think you can get to know someone a whole lot better right here in your hometown then you can through email, phone calls, messages, and short trips to isolated places half way across the world.

No I don't think I'm missing the point. You don't enter into something as serious as marriage already planning for the worse. You do it with the solid belief it is what you want for all your time. I don't put up security gates and extra locks. I plant a flower garden. I certainly don't build a bomb shelter. I put up a swingset or children's club house. Think POSITIVE not negative. I don't believe in already dooming the marriage or my life with "what ifs." Plan for your life TOGETHER not for your possible breakup!

This is starting to become funny, because you are still missing the underline point of a prenup. Let me ask you this, do you believe a divorce (period after marriage / separation) is a covenant to share all? Well guess when a prenup is triggered? During a divorce, and not during marriage. At least for the kind we are talking about on here.