Frustrated.

[Chica Yeyé 41]

Talk about frustration, I hear you. I have been withdrawing from the boards lately because of an overwhelming sense of bad vibes in other sub-forums. Makes me rethink if we made the right choice by going through this process sometimes, since I hear over and over and over all kinds of slander against immigrants within an immigration board!!! Or attacks on people/groups of people as if we were somehow Gods, untouched by sin or prejudice. Argh.

I have returned to my usual hangouts, Canada and DCF forum. If I can help elsewhere I will, otherwise I try to just stay out of it: example: OT was taking such a toll on my mood that it was just too freaking exhausting. Like treble said, I am trying to help folks and be helped as well, but my degrees are NOT in immigration or in law- I am just another soul going through its ringer. I am an anti-racist educator, but I have opted to stay out of discussions with people who have no clue about it. In and outside of VJ mind you.- Discussions with my colleagues are frustrating enough (and some of them don't even know ####### they're talking about, Dr. or no Dr. LMAO).

Today I choose to focus on not letting this process drive me crazier.

Peace to all, L.

[L_n_O 3]

poo on know-it-alls!

[trailmix 77]

Treble I just read the thread you are talking about.

I see this over and over here. I sometimes think that if people stick around these boards too long AND lack a patience quotient that they get frustrated and start lashing at out at people whose comments they deem to be 'stupid' or 'ignorant'.

I'm glad there are people with a wealth of knowledge here. On the other hand I see some of them taking pot shots at others as well.

I haven't been on these boards long, but I do notice when I see a posting like "I just got my NOA1, now what!?" I just move on by and I ponder why some others, who are obviously jaded by over exposure to certain types of questions/responses don't move on by too?

I'm also confused why they are astounded if some response given is not 100% to the letter of the law, or their understanding of it. It is an open forum, they are opinions, why they can't be discussed in a civil manner - well that's another discussion I guess.

It's also hard not to take it personally. Although they are 'only' words on a web page, there is a person behind them.

Len I hear you too. I too have thought - wow - who are these people?? However I'm also a member of a Calgary forum and on that forum we have a couple of racists etc (who of course don't think they are) and we have the people who bash Calgary etc.. Of course because I live here I know that they are not the norm, or at least they aren't the people I 'know' - so I don't allow them to represent my City and I try to remember, based on this, that the people on this forum don't represent the majority of Americans.

[bradcanuck 1]

Len,

If your word is not appreciated it really makes you re-think posting. I agree.

However as an anti-racist educator I can imagine you have learned an insane amount about patience and frustration. That's probably why you're here to begin with. MUCH MUCH respect to you.

Edited September 7, 2007 by bradcanuck

[TracyTN 237]

The 'argument' in that original thread started by a VJ 'old timer' taking exception to the misinformation in that particular thread, and also her comment that VJ is worse (in the sense of misinformation) than it used to be. Frankly, I concur with that.

Those of us who have been here for a while and may be through the process already (although I'm not quite!) DO still have valuable contributions to make based on years of reading various sources of ancedotal evidence. I think this site suffers now with the absence of some people (who were here LONG before me and know a he$$ of a lot about the process).

I do try to back away from posts that frustrate or irritate me, but I'm sure I haven't always been pristine in that practice (we all have bad days!!). I have often times been put in my place about one thing or another - sometimes gently, sometimes not so much! LOL. But I TRY to take things like that as a learning experience so that I can then 'get it right' next time.

Len, I hate that you have backed off from posting - I've been there myself, too, and I wish it weren't happening here. But several of us (yes, even 'old timers') have banged our heads against that proverbial brick wall one too many times. The tone and environment here, I'm afraid, just isn't going to change. At least not through any official capacities.

I think we could ALL benefit from taking a moment to think before we post - and either not post if we aren't completely sure of the answer (or say 'I think' or 'you may want to double check that') or if we are having a bad day (and know we are going to come across too snippy). Probably a bit too much to ask for, though (sadly).

[Tinker 0]

poo on know-it-alls!

[L_n_O 3]

poo on know-it-alls!

[Tinker 0]

too true. Well....I guess the best thing to do is almost stick in this forum! haha

ps- Marylin I just noticed your little dancing stick man in your signature and stared at it for about...3 minutes.

Made me look and look......

[Chica Yeyé 41]

as an anti-racist educator I can imagine you have learned an insane amount about patience and frustration. That's probably why you're here to begin with. MUCH MUCH respect to you.

I kid you not.... my patience levels have been raised since going into anti-racism work. Nonetheless, it is scary to face comments like the ones we can find in here. In the classroom I am God (ha ha ha), in the immigration process I'm just another Mexican national who fell in love with a USC.

Thanks for the respect my friend - I appreciate all of you folks' friendship!

[~Nini~ 2]

I have to agree with most of the "old-timers" in this thread that have been refraining from posting recently. I know I can't really consider myself an "old-timer" (you know, "since I haven't gone through AOS yet" ), but I know some of the attitudes that I've seen in this forum have been pretty... I dunno, self-righteous might be a really harsh term for it. I understand that some people have definitely gone around the block a few times in terms of immigration, but I dunno if it's fair to go to the point of belittling others that are only trying to help.

It's sad to think that a support forum has degenerated to the point where a significant amount of people have been hesitant about posting, simply because they don't want to incur the wrath of others that believe they know better or don't agree with the particular wording of it all.

I'm a member of a few other forums and I do agree with bradcanuck that there are idiots everywhere on the internet. But lately it's been incredibly acerbic for a lot of new members, and I think the only reason they keep coming back is because their petition is on the line.

I know I've been guilty of "frustrated posting" lately, and that's been a direct reflection on my current mood lately. I've been trying to stay away from posting altogether or just going somewhere else like the Canada Forum where you guys are more understanding.

Len, I definitely hear you with the staying out of discussions. Sometimes, it's just good to know when to quit - or not start at all with some people, they just like to have the last word.

Edited September 7, 2007 by Nini & Bee

[vnoe 0]

...now about these so called no-it-alls...maybe someone could just start a "fake" stupid topic just to get their knickers in a knot. Might be fun..

[Tinker 0]

...now about these so called no-it-alls...maybe someone could just start a "fake" stupid topic just to get their knickers in a knot. Might be fun..

How about Charateristics of __________

[Marilyn. 340]

ummm ,maybe we should all tone it down a bit..

[IR5FORMUMSIE 850]

Better to be silly than angry. Everybody is stressed out so if a bit a of humour can lighten the mood I'm all for it. American population density is the same as the rest of the world, some people are quite dense while other are fairly astute. Pooing on the know-it-alls might be a bit difficult, especially if they move.

[thetreble 19]

Len, Trailmix- hear hear. I hear you lovelies. Sometimes I don't bother posting because so many of the threads can get so out of hand or off topic that I just pass them by. I also think the anti immigrant, whether legal or illegal, thing that seems to bother so many ppl on this big ole board is absolutely hilarious and very ironic.

Tracy- I have seen you give a lot of good advice and knowledge around. I can appreciate that. I guess just the feeling from some "old timers" is that we do have to remember that it is just the internet. Some people seem to be extremely proud with that old timer status which someone makes them feel superior in their real life. If someone came up to my at a cocktail party and rolled their eyes at me because I said that Yeats wrote "The Wasteland" instead of TS Eliot, I'd laugh at them! It's such a petty and little thing to get your knickers in a knot over..you know? And just because you have been on the board for a year or 5, doesn't mean that you necessarily know more.

Who knows..I could be a lawyer...spying...on all of you... haha I could have a great deal of info. But like I think trailmix said or brad, people who think that every post should be 100% correct and factual really have high expectations for an internet message board.