How to give a cat a pill

[LondonGooner 0]

How to give a cat a pill!

1. Pick cat up and cradle in the crook of your left arm like a baby.

2. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of the cats mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand.

3. As cats mouth opens, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

4. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and start again.

5. Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away.

6. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of throat with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

7. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe.

8. Call spouse from garden.

9. Kneel on floor with cat firmly wedged between knees, hold front and rear paws, ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing a ruler in to its mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cats throat vigorously.

10. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing.

11. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down straw. Check label to make sure that pill isn't harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply band aid to spouses forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

12. Retrieve cat from neighbours shed, and get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck, leave head showing.

13. Force mouth open with desert spoon and shoot pill down throat with a rubber band.

14. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch, and drink a shot. Apply cold compress

to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot.

15. Throw tee shirt away and fetch a new one from bedroom.

16. Ring fire brigade to retrieve f______ cat from tree across road. Apologise to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.

17. Tie the little b______'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from

shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to ensure pill has gone.

18. Consume remaining scotch. Get spouse to drive you to nearest casualty, sit quietly while doctor stitches finger and forearm and removes pill from right eye. Stop by furniture shop on way home and order new table.

How to give a dog a pill.

1. WRAP IT IN BACON!!.

[GaryC 7]

So true!!

[Ladylethal 12]

I love this one, I read the portuguese version years ago and my family have always loved to read it from time to time (being the cat lovers that we are). I'll say one thing though, mom and I have developed a technique to give pills to cats and it works wonders and we were always able to give pills to our cats without problems.

My friends even request me to come over and give pills to their cats when they need it.

[Mephys 2]

Love that one, reminds me of the one about " how to bathe a cat"

But in real folks that don't know about cats, they arent that bad, and most medications are in liquids with syringues anyways, much more easier than the damn pill!

[MissStacey 1]

That is so true!!

We always put our dogs pills in a piece of cheese,

[Ladylethal 12]

We hold the cat by the scruff, pass some butter on the pill and shove it in the back of their mouths, then we hang them limp for a bit and they end up having to swallow, and the pill goes down without them spitting it out again. Pretty easy.

I find pills easier than the liquid medication, 'cus the flavor of the liquid make my cats droll and foam like crazy.

[Nancy2015 2]

:lol: :lol: :lol:

OMG, it is so true!!!!!

We had to take our old cat to the vet's office and have him sedated to give him a pill...

[GaryC 7]

I have a tried and true method. Grab the cat by the scruff of the neck, pry his mouth open and poke the pill down it's throat as far as I can. He either swallows or chokes. Of course I get bit in the process but I only get bit once and it's over.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Use butter on the pill, Gary - it makes the cat swallow easier! Hehehe, like the other cat owners here I too have my own technique to get pills down my cat's throats. Pills are definitely easier than liquid when the liquid is flavoured - talk about a cat looking rabid! Hehehehe

[Miranda&James 8]

I babysat a cat with heart problems while my boss was away and I still have scars to this day If she didn't need those pills to survive I would have left her food and let her growl at me from behind the couch in peace, but sadly I was forced to drag her out to give her a multitude of pills and vitamins (this cat gets all kinds of #######). I couldn't get her out once, so it took my mom, James, and me (my mom in leather gloves and a long sleeve sweatshirt) to get this one cat out of the closet. This cat was pure evil.....

[Mephys 2]

I guess I jsut got lucky with that cookie dough smelling liquid then... Had no rabies problem with it

[isleta521 5]

Use butter on the pill, Gary - it makes the cat swallow easier! Hehehe, like the other cat owners here I too have my own technique to get pills down my cat's throats. Pills are definitely easier than liquid when the liquid is flavoured - talk about a cat looking rabid! Hehehehe

Oh, and most importantly, dont forget a cold beer.

[Saddle Bronc 124]

:lol:

won't grinding about 5 pills and putting the powder into a goldfish tank work for cats (hey, this is the one case where cats will NOT mind getting wet)?

[Jasman0717 9]

[Nizzy 1]

can't you just put the pill in their food? (coming from a person who doesn't own any pets)