Internet Casanova's

[~Jackie~ 30]

I will tell you what kind..............how much time you got?

Jackie

[Ban Hammer 13,334]

What kind of person would/could do that?

a deceitful person with an ulterior motive for marrying someone in the usa (or any country that enjoys a higher standard of living).

[morocco4ever 63]

I haven't read through all of the replies to this yet, so maybe this has already been said. To me, if he is willing to use a woman for a green card then it doesn't speak much about his character. If he could so easily betray someone for his own personal gain I would boot him to the door no matter how much I love him.

[aya*abouelnasr 0]

In no way was I questioning other peoples responses. We are all different people, so of course we would make different choices. I guess my point was, people grow and change.

I have an aunt and uncle who married while still young, in the sixties. They will be the first to tell you they were not in love when they married. They married for convenience, but after many years of marriage they are still together, take care of each other, and the other is the first in their minds. I know of another couple that seperated because of the mans alcohlism, yet when she developed a brain tumor and the operation disabled her to the point she could not take care of herself, he was there. He fed her, bathed her, changed her diapers, until she passed away.

I guess love means different things to different people. Most of the men and women from the MENA countries want to leave to go to something better, and I have to say I don't blame them. I would never intentionally marry someone to help them get a green card, but have to wonder if that is not the first thought in their mind when they contact anyone in the more profitable countries.

Not to say that all the MENA/US marriages are based on the green card, but I think that does play into it from the very beginning.

[Caladan 19]

I have to admit it would likely depend on how and when I found out. After 20 years of happy marriage, him saying, you know, when I logged on that day, I was just desperate to get out of my situation, never thought I'd find love... that's one thing. You can even imagine it with soft music.

If I imagine it as me confronting him with transcripts of him talking to other girls and him insisting that while it really looks like he's trying to get a green card, he's changed his mind, screw it. It's not just a heartbreaking divorce, it's ten years of being on the hook for that loser. No thanks. Plus, it starts to look like wishful thinking after a while.. maybe he really did grow to love me.... eh. No thanks.

I think love can evolve over time, and it needn't start with head over heels infatuation. But it has to start somewhere honest, and 'I'll use this woman for a green card because it's not like I really harm an American woman by divorcing her,' ain't honest.

[maggieNomar 0]

He'd be out the door.

I mean I'd have hard core proof that he intended just to get the greencard right?

I would not, however have hard core proof of his love for me, since that is not something one can prove.

I'd say don't let the screen door hit ya where the good lord split ya!!!!

Preach it sister.

I too would have to send them packing. If they were able to hide their intent to commit fraud, what else might they be hiding??

[Fandango 1,439]

In no way was I questioning other peoples responses. We are all different people, so of course we would make different choices. I guess my point was, people grow and change.

I have an aunt and uncle who married while still young, in the sixties. They will be the first to tell you they were not in love when they married. They married for convenience, but after many years of marriage they are still together, take care of each other, and the other is the first in their minds. I know of another couple that seperated because of the mans alcohlism, yet when she developed a brain tumor and the operation disabled her to the point she could not take care of herself, he was there. He fed her, bathed her, changed her diapers, until she passed away.

I guess love means different things to different people. Most of the men and women from the MENA countries want to leave to go to something better, and I have to say I don't blame them. I would never intentionally marry someone to help them get a green card, but have to wonder if that is not the first thought in their mind when they contact anyone in the more profitable countries.

Not to say that all the MENA/US marriages are based on the green card, but I think that does play into it from the very beginning.

The issue is not really so much the 'love' aspect, rather the whole 'he lied and told her he was in love fo x amt of time' issue.

Well, the way I see it anyways....

Two ppl getting married sayin 'ok it's not love, but we'll grow together' is wayyyyyyyyy different than telling a woman you love her so that she can petition you for what will ultimately be a GC. Wayyy different!

[Kazan' Tiger 1]

Love is not something one learns. It is not a subject taught. It is a special and deep emotion. You either have it for someone or you don't. You don't have to physically spend a lot of time with someone to fall in or maintain a level of love. If you have met someone and have a strong attraction, this may lead to falling in love over time because the attraction grows into something much more! But this is not learning to love.

I don't understand what is wrong with learning to love someone. Some of us don't have the luxury of spending long amounts of time in the country our SO's live in. Physical attraction is not love, getting along with someone for a short amount of time is not love. You can have any of that with a one night stand you pick up in the clubs. Love comes, and grows, over an extended amount of time together. You learn their faults, their strengths, what makes them happy, what doesn't. It's looking at the person you share your life with and knowing their thoughts about something in particular. It's feeling as if you just had the best conversation ever, and no words were exchanged. It's knowing at the end of the day, they will be there beside you, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, till death shall you part.

Those things are learned, grown together. Not fallen into.

So, yes, I would stay, and let them stay too. Nothing in this life is free or easy, so why should we expect love to be any different?