need advice

[JelloShotGirl 0]

just need advice feelin kinda sad, I need some positive advice cause I am feeling bad. I am so thank ful for my husband. He left everything in the Philippines and came to United States. He asked me to stay with him in the Philippines but we decided he should come here and try it out. Maybe we didnt think it over enough , i feel so bad we are waiting for ead so he isnt working now. And over in Philippines he owns 2 houses, has all his friends, family(very important) had employment. I was always up front with him about my situation here, I support myself , live on my own, I am not rich and my family support system is next to nothing. But he still came here. And never complains. He has been great, but I think it maybe it was a mistake, I should have stayed there with him(in Phils), cause we would have everything there. Here we have not too much, just struggling.I start crying now a lot . He says we should stay here in United States cause he has commitements here now. ANy thoughts how to make this negative energy I am feeling positive? thanks I really appreciate all inputs.

['my_destiny' 0]

just need advice feelin kinda sad, I need some positive advice cause I am feeling bad. I am so thank ful for my husband. He left everything in the Philippines and came to United States. He asked me to stay with him in the Philippines but we decided he should come here and try it out. Maybe we didnt think it over enough , i feel so bad we are waiting for ead so he isnt working now. And over in Philippines he owns 2 houses, has all his friends, family(very important) had employment. I was always up front with him about my situation here, I support myself , live on my own, I am not rich and my family support system is next to nothing. But he still came here. And never complains. He has been great, but I think it maybe it was a mistake, I should have stayed there with him(in Phils), cause we would have everything there. Here we have not too much, just struggling.I start crying now a lot . He says we should stay here in United States cause he has commitements here now. ANy thoughts how to make this negative energy I am feeling positive? thanks I really appreciate all inputs.

Hi JelloShotGirl,

You are really lucky that you have a wonderful husband and he left everything in the Philippines just to be with you. For now, maybe he isnt working yet, but for sure, once he got his greencard, he can work and will not struggling anymore. As long as you are both positive, things will be ok. He needs your loving support and in return he will give you support.

Good luck!

vhi

[garya505 2]

just need advice feelin kinda sad, I need some positive advice cause I am feeling bad. I am so thank ful for my husband. He left everything in the Philippines and came to United States. He asked me to stay with him in the Philippines but we decided he should come here and try it out. Maybe we didnt think it over enough , i feel so bad we are waiting for ead so he isnt working now. And over in Philippines he owns 2 houses, has all his friends, family(very important) had employment. I was always up front with him about my situation here, I support myself , live on my own, I am not rich and my family support system is next to nothing. But he still came here. And never complains. He has been great, but I think it maybe it was a mistake, I should have stayed there with him(in Phils), cause we would have everything there. Here we have not too much, just struggling.I start crying now a lot . He says we should stay here in United States cause he has commitements here now. ANy thoughts how to make this negative energy I am feeling positive? thanks I really appreciate all inputs.

You know, my wife gets homesick and lonely sometimes. I ask her about it and she says "it's OK", but I know she feels it. I was always concerned about that. Before she came here, when I asked her about leaving her family there, she just said "that's OK, I can have my own family now". It made me cry.

Our first baby is due Dec 24.

Sorry I don't have any advice, just a thought. Think of all the things you have to be grateful for, and count your blessings every day.

Edited August 24, 2007 by garya505

['my_destiny' 0]

It is really hard if one dont have work because you cant do anything or buy anything you want. In my part, sometimes I told my husband that it is better for me to have work 8am-5pm, but he is so supportive and understanding and he told me that Im already working not for other company but for our vacational rental. Since I came here, he asked me to manage our vacational rental and he said that Im making more money than him because it getting more booking. He is positive about me managing it and for me, his support and encouragement makes me think positive too.

As long as you are both positive, things will be ok. He needs your loving support and in return he will give you support.

[cshell 0]

just need advice feelin kinda sad, I need some positive advice cause I am feeling bad. I am so thank ful for my husband. He left everything in the Philippines and came to United States. He asked me to stay with him in the Philippines but we decided he should come here and try it out. Maybe we didnt think it over enough , i feel so bad we are waiting for ead so he isnt working now. And over in Philippines he owns 2 houses, has all his friends, family(very important) had employment. I was always up front with him about my situation here, I support myself , live on my own, I am not rich and my family support system is next to nothing. But he still came here. And never complains. He has been great, but I think it maybe it was a mistake, I should have stayed there with him(in Phils), cause we would have everything there. Here we have not too much, just struggling.I start crying now a lot . He says we should stay here in United States cause he has commitements here now. ANy thoughts how to make this negative energy I am feeling positive? thanks I really appreciate all inputs.

Patience is the key. Now is the time to wait and then before you know it your husband will get his EAD. Draw your strength from him. He seems ok with the waiting. You expressed that he is commited to being here trust in him that he is fine with the decision that you both made. Once he has the permission to work you will not be feeling as you are now. Just relax and try not to stress yourself. I understand about the difficulties with fiances. When it worries me I just say to myself that things will ease very soon. Be sure to do things that bring you happiness as when you are enjoying things your worries will not be in the forefront.

[spidergirl 0]

just need advice feelin kinda sad, I need some positive advice cause I am feeling bad. I am so thank ful for my husband. He left everything in the Philippines and came to United States. He asked me to stay with him in the Philippines but we decided he should come here and try it out. Maybe we didnt think it over enough , i feel so bad we are waiting for ead so he isnt working now. And over in Philippines he owns 2 houses, has all his friends, family(very important) had employment. I was always up front with him about my situation here, I support myself , live on my own, I am not rich and my family support system is next to nothing. But he still came here. And never complains. He has been great, but I think it maybe it was a mistake, I should have stayed there with him(in Phils), cause we would have everything there. Here we have not too much, just struggling.I start crying now a lot . He says we should stay here in United States cause he has commitements here now. ANy thoughts how to make this negative energy I am feeling positive? thanks I really appreciate all inputs.

I don't understand why you are complaining, you've got a good husband, he gives up everything to be with you. So stay by his side and support him. Try to show him that you will be happy anywhere with him. Your a lucky girl!

[Dakine 26]

Hang in there until hubby gets his US Citizenship and you can do anything you guys want then.

[lirachadsbaby 0]

my husband do feel the same way too. don't worry too much coz the more u do, the more it will affect him. just be positive. sooner, it will be fine for the both of you. just enjoy each other's company. he needs your support. he will get adjusted in time.

[MrsBruce5 0]

Hi Jello,

It's going to be OK-you're just having a bad day. We all have them, and they do pass. I have been there myself, and it's a sucky place to be. The good news is, this feeling will pass and you both will be OK.

Be there for each other and make sure he knows how much you love him. Once all of the visa stuff is finished, and he is working-things change, and the daily grind begins.

Give each other your love & support. You will get through this. (((HUGS)))

All The Best,

Rose

[RandyandRina 2]

Hi sis, cheer up! We are in the same situation. As you can see from my timeline, it took us almost 2 years to file for my husband's US petition, we could have done it sooner. We were married in Sept of 2005, but we knew each other since I was 13, he was 15 then. He would always tell me how he wanted us to just stay in Manila rather than in the US. Well, our decision to delay the petition was because of his old-aged parents. It was difficult for him to leave them, as it has been our culture. They are well-off too back home, so there's no need to really work as hard to make sure you eat at least 3x a day. But anyways, if it was not for our son who was born in 2006, he would not change his mind. Just like what you did, you explained to him your situatuion, or you pretty much explained to him what to expect and how we live our lives here, differently than back home. It will be difficult at first, I know, but it's really up to us (USC peitioners) how to make them comfortable here in the US.

Honestly, I have my worries still, not until he comes here. Even though he would tell me time and time again that he is now ready for a life in the US with us here, our family, he'll still be missing home. But, this is the life that both of you has chosen...no matter where you wanted to stay or live your lives together, it makes no difference as long as you two have each other.

Good luck to all of us! God bless...

Edited August 27, 2007 by RandyandRina

[jenny and manny 0]

Hi JelloShotGirl,

Cheer up! You are not alone in this situation, there are lots of people experiencing the same way. Always focus on positive things. You have a wonderful and supportive husband who loves you so much and decided to be with you and this is one of the greatest blessings you have now. The adjustments are really overwhelming but it's only temporary.