Fiance Disapeared !!

[Jaseball 0]

This whole thing came out of nowhere. Since this happened, i have been trying to search for clues from the past that were indicators that maybe this was coming. There have been things in the past which she did or said which struck me as odd. In every relationship there are things which our partners do which seem strange. i think a problem I have is that I am too nice and trusting.

Someone mentioned abuse. I remember reading how a guy was in our situation was falsly accussed of abuse by a spouse. I am worried about this. I have never been abusive to her or any woman.

I understand that there is a 90 day expiration. If I report her now will this get revolked. She technically has around 80 days. If I report her NOW will it automatically go into the computers that she is illegal or will she have the 80 days until she is considered illegal.

I have never been married so I not sure how it works, paperwork etc.

Is there a chance, if there is another man, that they could apply for a licence and get married?

What happens when a person applies for a licence to get married using a K-1? Will they check that the names of the beneficiary match with the petitioner, before they issue a licence?

Sorry if my questions are confusing. My brain hasn't been working lately. Thanks, Jon

Yes she could get married, but once it is shown she entered on a K1 tied to you and she left you to marry another person it pretty much proves she came in under fraudulent reasons, deceived the USC sponsoring, and she will be deported.

Did you see the story the other day about the Mexican woman who took refuge in a church for over a year? She had a kid born in the US, but when she left the church she was caught and deported.

My advice?

Continue to try contacting her. Tell her you are not going to let this matter drop and that this deception and playing with your heart and the lies isn't something you will accept. Tell her to get on the phone and talk and explain herself.

You have her history, entry visa info, and all her information. Once you get the ball rolling with USCIS it is pretty much game over for her.

The big problem is how could you ever trust this woman, take her back, or continue onwards with her? If you did that now you would be setting yourself up for a situation like I described above with my uncle.

To the mod: I do try to help and stay on topic, but what this OP is describing is a pretty severe and horrific nightmare for any USC going through this visa process. How are we supposed to blindly offer advice without asking questions, trying to gain more details, or warning the people of possible deceptions or red flags? It isn't too hard to register a user name and stir up some controversy. Unless it is a poster with a history who you have seen invest time and effort into their own story and situation I think it is our responsibility to point out possible trolls.

[payxibka 10,045]

Is there a chance, if there is another man, that they could apply for a licence and get married?

What happens when a person applies for a licence to get married using a K-1?

Will they check that the names of the beneficiary match with the petitioner, before they issue a licence?

1) YES

2) They get the license

3) NO

Edited August 22, 2007 by fwaguy

[Jaseball 0]

To answer you all. Yes I have joined today under this name. I have been an active member here for a year.

I have some history here. I hope you can understand that i am actually very embarassed by my situation. I suppose some of you are naturally suspicious, I think my problem is that I am not this type of person and thus in this position.

If that is the case, then I respect your privacy and will do whatever I can to help you get some justice, offer advice, or just someone to chat with if needed.

Don't be embarrassed. You are not the first person fooled in this way and you won't be the last by far. It also isn't any different than meeting and falling for someone here and getting deceived. It is just harder in this situation because of the time, effort, costs, and everything associated with the visa process. To have someone do this to another person who truly loved them is a disgusting and despicable act.

This situation will change you, but you have to treat it as a learning experience. Be thankful she wasn't patient and even more disgusting by marrying you, living and being there for a few years knowing she would leave as soon as she got what she needed from you. I think that situation would be 10x worse, so at least she ran off right at the start, so you don't invest more effort, love, money, etc., into something false.

[Jasman0717 9]

This whole thing came out of nowhere. Since this happened, i have been trying to search for clues from the past that were indicators that maybe this was coming. There have been things in the past which she did or said which struck me as odd. In every relationship there are things which our partners do which seem strange. i think a problem I have is that I am too nice and trusting.

Someone mentioned abuse. I remember reading how a guy was in our situation was falsly accussed of abuse by a spouse. I am worried about this. I have never been abusive to her or any woman.

I understand that there is a 90 day expiration. If I report her now will this get revolked. She technically has around 80 days. If I report her NOW will it automatically go into the computers that she is illegal or will she have the 80 days until she is considered illegal.

I have never been married so I not sure how it works, paperwork etc.

Is there a chance, if there is another man, that they could apply for a licence and get married?

What happens when a person applies for a licence to get married using a K-1? Will they check that the names of the beneficiary match with the petitioner, before they issue a licence?

Sorry if my questions are confusing. My brain hasn't been working lately. Thanks, Jon

First, I hope my reference to 'troll's didn't offend you, we have seen people post sensitive topics just to get a raise out of the web site.

I believe you are doing the correct thing by reporting this to the USCIS. As far as the abuse thing goes I believe she would have needed to report that to the authorities where you live. At this point it would be he said she said. As far as the marriage license and getting married, I would suppose she could do this but would never be allowed to file for AOS under her existing entry. She would probably be deported for fraud if she tried seeing that she has only bene here for 10 days. That would most likely give her a life-time ban!

I am still curious as to her nationality. I am just curious to see if she is from one of the high fraud areas.

Thanks,

Jim

[jonkam 0]

This whole thing came out of nowhere. Since this happened, i have been trying to search for clues from the past that were indicators that maybe this was coming. There have been things in the past which she did or said which struck me as odd. In every relationship there are things which our partners do which seem strange. i think a problem I have is that I am too nice and trusting.

Someone mentioned abuse. I remember reading how a guy was in our situation was falsly accussed of abuse by a spouse. I am worried about this. I have never been abusive to her or any woman.

I understand that there is a 90 day expiration. If I report her now will this get revolked. She technically has around 80 days. If I report her NOW will it automatically go into the computers that she is illegal or will she have the 80 days until she is considered illegal.

I have never been married so I not sure how it works, paperwork etc.

Is there a chance, if there is another man, that they could apply for a licence and get married?

What happens when a person applies for a licence to get married using a K-1? Will they check that the names of the beneficiary match with the petitioner, before they issue a licence?

Sorry if my questions are confusing. My brain hasn't been working lately. Thanks, Jon

Yes she could get married, but once it is shown she entered on a K1 tied to you and she left you to marry another person it pretty much proves she came in under fraudulent reasons, deceived the USC sponsoring, and she will be deported.

Did you see the story the other day about the Mexican woman who took refuge in a church for over a year? She had a kid born in the US, but when she left the church she was caught and deported.

My advice?

Continue to try contacting her. Tell her you are not going to let this matter drop and that this deception and playing with your heart and the lies isn't something you will accept. Tell her to get on the phone and talk and explain herself.

You have her history, entry visa info, and all her information. Once you get the ball rolling with USCIS it is pretty much game over for her.

The big problem is how could you ever trust this woman, take her back, or continue onwards with her? If you did that now you would be setting yourself up for a situation like I described above with my uncle.

To the mod: I do try to help and stay on topic, but what this OP is describing is a pretty severe and horrific nightmare for any USC going through this visa process. How are we supposed to blindly offer advice without asking questions, trying to gain more details, or warning the people of possible deceptions or red flags? It isn't too hard to register a user name and stir up some controversy. Unless it is a poster with a history who you have seen invest time and effort into their own story and situation I think it is our responsibility to point out possible trolls.

Thanks for the advise. It is a little troubling to hear that she could get married. Would I contact Uscis or ICE?

I responded about being a "troll". In a prior post, in this topic, i said that i am actually an active member here for over a year. I am very ashamed and embassed by my ssituation and would like to stay annonymous (spelling?) Can't really understand why someone would waste time on a forum making up things. I suppose some people are not right in the head and have to much time on their hands. trust me my situation is very real. and i thank you all for trying to help me and cope.

[payxibka 10,045]

ICE is enforcement

[Jaseball 0]

If you are sure it is deception and she used you and you wish to see her deported, then contact both USCIS and ICE. You can also contact the local police department where she is located and ask to speak with a detective or someone who you could explain the situation and start a case to have it on record.

Don't worry about her with another man or getting married. The only complication I could see is if she is really nuts she could have someone beat her up, then file a report against you. This is why once you decide on your course of action, informing the authorities, getting documentation, and getting a case number will be important for you.

I really have no idea what they have in mind doing this to you.

[Jasman0717 9]

I can understand you feelings and truly feel just terrible for you. I can't imagine what I would do if this happened to me. There are a ton of very sincere people here who, I am sure, you can count on for support.

Hearing this makes me angry that people can be so deceitful as to do something like this but I guess the world is full of them. Claudeth and I will be praying for her just reward

[Jaseball 0]

Here you go:

http://www.ice.gov/

[desert_fox 32]

You can also contact the local police department where she is located and ask to speak with a detective or someone who you could explain the situation and start a case to have it on record.

they could care less. She has violated no state laws, and they do not enforce immigraton laws.

She is not in violation of any law, until she overstays her K-1.

Nothing wil happen...she can marry whoever she wishes....but will be unable to adjust her status.

[Jaseball 0]

You can also contact the local police department where she is located and ask to speak with a detective or someone who you could explain the situation and start a case to have it on record.

they could care less. She has violated no state laws, and they do not enforce immigraton laws.

She is not in violation of any law, until she overstays her K-1.

Nothing wil happen...she can marry whoever she wishes....but will be unable to adjust her status.

Never hurts to ask, but you're right about the visa. ICE may not even get involved until the visa expires. Her plan could very well be to just go underground before that happens, but sooner or later she'll get what she deserves.

[jonkam 0]

I'm so sorry you have to deal with something like this, jonkam; it sounds like a complete nightmare

...now, I'm pretty naive and trusting by nature, so what I'm about to say may be ludicrous, but -

are you ABSOLUTELY SURE this is as it seems, and that this is the end of your relationship? could she have gotten cold feet? could there have been a misunderstanding somewhere, or a missed communication, or someone's English was poor, or SOMETHING? because I'd hate to think you acted on something that ended up not being true... and while the odds look pretty steeply stacked against things being ok right now, I think it would be worth trying to find that out, if you haven't already...

of course, you may be 100% sure, and just not sharing all the details (which is absolutely fine of course ), so if so, please disregard the above, except for the sympathy

First, to answer a previous question. She is Brasilian.

I am NOT 100% sure about anything. I am thinking that there is another man because of the new things which happened in the bedroom. This is a "PG" site so I will leave it at that. Also, another thing comes to mind. We were driving to the store and I totally forget what the conversation was about, but I mentioned something about her being with a differnt man. I forget the exact words and what we were talking about.

I am always joking about things and this was a joke when I said it. She totally over-reacted and seemed to get all angry with me. When I said it was said in an obviously joking manner with me laughing a little when I said it. At the time, I thought her reaction was a little much. Now, i think it could have been guilt, and she was trying to cover something up.

The past couple of days I have been e-mailing her. No-response. I too would like to hear from her what is going on. I think if it was simply cold feet she more likely would have said something. Her actions while she was here were not that of someone who was planning on staying here forever. Example, she was living out of her suit case. She did put a few things away. We were on the move a bit and when we were home, we were cuddling, etc. So it did seem a little odd at the time. I just figured that it was a period of adjustment because maybe she still felt like she was a guest.

Not knowing, from her, what's happening is the worst. The mind and imagination start thinking of all sorts of things.

[lucyrich 20]

Marriage/family law is almost completely separate from immigration law.

In most states, anyone can get married without regard to immigration status. So if she wants to marry someone, she can.

However, if she came in on a K-1, the only way she can adjust status is via a marriage to you, the original petitioner (that's INA 245(d)). A marriage to someone else doesn't do any good for her immigration status. If she marries someone else, she'll be illegal from the time her K-1 status expires until she leaves the US, gets a proper visa, and re-enters the US. She will have some difficulties explaining why she got the K-1 with one person and so quickly changed her mind and married another person -- they'll rightly suspect fraud.

[jonkam 0]

You can also contact the local police department where she is located and ask to speak with a detective or someone who you could explain the situation and start a case to have it on record.

they could care less. She has violated no state laws, and they do not enforce immigraton laws.

She is not in violation of any law, until she overstays her K-1.

Nothing wil happen...she can marry whoever she wishes....but will be unable to adjust her status.

Never hurts to ask, but you're right about the visa. ICE may not even get involved until the visa expires. Her plan could very well be to just go underground before that happens, but sooner or later she'll get what she deserves.

Thanks for all the advise and support,

Besides the cops not caring, i don't even know what state she is in. As far as someone beating her up. Can't see that happening. But if it did, I am sure that she would not get away with it because i am at least a couple thousand miles from her. There is no possible way i could hit her.

It sucks that it would be possible for her to marry someone else. i do hope that she does get what is coming. And is better that it happened now than a couple of years down the road. I still have feelings for her but what she has done is terrible. What makes it worse is that she goes to church, prays in the morning and before bed.

[Jaseball 0]

The email could just be lack of access to the Internet. Just the fact she packed up and left like that is just disrespectful and sad. You have not been able to get in a conversation directly with her since she took off?

If you do reach her you have to control your emotions. Ask her what she is doing and what her plans were when she was still out of the US and exactly what she plans on doing now when she is here for 90 days on a K1.

If you can talk to the friends try to get in contact with her directly, but tell them to pass on the message that you are not going to just let this matter drop and it is in her best interest to talk with you first.

Instead of jumping to conclusions on the intimate acts thing or letting your imagination run wild you have to consider any woman who pulls a stunt like this wouldn't think twice about lying about her sexual history or other areas.

I really do feel for you. Before I started this visa process and even now the story with my uncle and some nightmare situation like the one you are dealing with are always on my mind. I am definitely far more suspicious, but I'm not stupid enough to think something like this can't happen to me, even though I think about it and try keep my eyes and mind open to protect myself.