Fiance Disapeared !!

[Ban Hammer 13,349]

Gosh, all of this reminds me of the German women (not all but quite a few), who are looking for US soldiers to get married to in order to have a military ID card.

I have had several friends when I was still in Germany who were looking for soldiers for this purpose ... and then to later on move to the US. Quite sad.

i think i ran into some of them

Does she have a SSN yet?

probably not as she's been there 10 days before disappearing. it's recommended to wait 10-14 days before applying so the applicant is listed in the computer.

for the op, any chance your credit information is compromised? bank account numbers, credit cards, etc?

[Magnolia31 0]

LOL, well I hope you ran away from them. I never understood the whole "I gotta have an ID card thing". I'm an army brat and to me, the military ain't all that great.

Oh, ok .... I didn't know that about the SSN .... I've had mine since i was about 12 so I really don't know the procedure.

Gosh, all of this reminds me of the German women (not all but quite a few), who are looking for US soldiers to get married to in order to have a military ID card.

I have had several friends when I was still in Germany who were looking for soldiers for this purpose ... and then to later on move to the US. Quite sad.

i think i ran into some of them

Does she have a SSN yet?

probably not as she's been there 10 days before disappearing. it's recommended to wait 10-14 days before applying so the applicant is listed in the computer.

for the op, any chance your credit information is compromised? bank account numbers, credit cards, etc?

[Jasman0717 9]

I hope you will start a new thread once you can find out what is happening, this one is getting too hard to stay up on. Good luck

[jonkam 0]

Wow Magnolia you posted a lot.

Thanks for some more info about the school issue. Its not that it really matters in the scheme of things. But it is good to get info. to satify my curiosity. Also some posted about that (if) there was another man, that she COULD marry him. Of course this pisses me off. But I rather know that she could. Rather than not having any answer, whether she could or could not. For me, I rather know the truth even if it is bad, than not knowing and going around wondering.

I am not sure what her plans are now. School, work or whatever. Of course i wish I knew.

She told me she did not want return to college, but if she did someone would have to be helping her out. I can't see just a friend paying for schooling.

Another reason I think there could be another man is that, she went to college before and said when she came she did not want to go back to school. And in Brasil, she never had a job. Her family gets by, her brother is the sole bread winner. Her household could have definetly used the money if she worked. From our conversations and her actions, she( definetly ) made it clear that she was against the idea of having a job. If she has no desire to work or go to school, what is she going to do here. I can't see (just) a friend, having another friend come and stay with him/her and do NOTHING. If there was a man, I could see this happening, but not just a friend.

Magnolia, she is NOT my wife. She is my fiance. Actually Former fiance now. As many have said, it is better that she did this only after being here like a week, than getting married then leaving.

I don't have the money to go track her down.

I would feel bad threatening some old lady. even more now that she just lost her husband. i did write an e-mail to my former SO that I would tell the authorities that Sarah was the last person to see her and that Sarah might get in trouble. I told her that if she came clean, I would not mention anything about Sarah.

I do plan to pass on Sarah's info. to the authorities. I want to come clean with them when I report this. I have no illusions on them even following up with Sarah about this case. I just want to make sure that I do tell them everything so if there is an investigation on me.

About her going to Arizona or not going. I am quite certain she went. She was very fond of this older couple. Roy, Sarah's husband, was on his death bed so I am sure she went there to see him before he died. Besides her and her son said she was there.

It would have been easier for them to say, " sorry I haven't seen her".

On another note. I am sure your husband will be fine in Iraq. I spent a year there, so I know he is costantly thinking of you and looking for the day to be reunited. When i was deployed, e-mails were nice, but once in a while send him a nice hand written letter. i liked those the best. Pictures and care packages were always appreciated. Little things like this can make a big difference when you are over there. I know.

[jonkam 0]

Gosh, all of this reminds me of the German women (not all but quite a few), who are looking for US soldiers to get married to in order to have a military ID card.

I have had several friends when I was still in Germany who were looking for soldiers for this purpose ... and then to later on move to the US. Quite sad.

i think i ran into some of them

Does she have a SSN yet?

probably not as she's been there 10 days before disappearing. it's recommended to wait 10-14 days before applying so the applicant is listed in the computer.

for the op, any chance your credit information is compromised? bank account numbers, credit cards, etc?

She disappeared before ten days. I don't think so about the personal info..

[Donna A 4]

just wondering if u know anyone who speaks her language (hint hint vj brazilians) who could maybe do a 3 way call with u to talk to her family. u could tell them what to ask her family and maybe find something out that way. i know u said her brother's english is not good so he wasnt helping much. im sure if her family knows where she is at they will not tell but maybe ask questions like is she ok...why did she do this? and then u can get ur closure u want.

[jonkam 0]

I remember people saying to contact ICE (and) USCIS

I remember some people saying that ICE is enforcement. So I am quite sure I NEED to contact them.

My question is: do I (NEED) to contact USCIS???

I know some people saying I (should), but do I need to?

Will contacting ICE only be okay?

I will be contacting ICE soon..

thanks

[justagirl 0]

Hi Jonkam. I'm sorry to hear the situation didn't get cleard out by now, man..You don't have to inform USCIS about her dissapearence. Her visa is good for 90 days still so they can't do too much even if they knew. They don't deal with missing persons but with persons who overstay their visas, illegals, anythig that's gotta do with immigration. Since her visa is still ok, they can't do too much anyway. You can inform them after the 90 days but you don't have to. One question though...did you have to complete an Affidavit of Support for her? If yes, do you remember how long you are financialy responsable for her? If it's longer than 90 days, i would inform USCIS after the 90 days go by...just so she doesn't take you to court to sponsor her(i'm nt sure if she can though after becoming illegal, but you should look more into that).

I know her dissapearence did you a lot of harm but you should try the best yu can to close this chapter in your life and forget about her. I think she told you what she thought you wanted to hear(about beeing a housewife). I know the kind of culture she coomes from(i come from a similar one). They are old style...her mom probably told her to tell you she wants to be a housewife bc otherwise if you would have wanted a working independant wife you culd have found that here in USmost of wemen here are like that)...i'm just guessing that bc that's what old people were telling me before i came here. Smething like " that's why they want foreign girls to marry, we know how to take care of men(cook, clean, be a good submissive wife, all that #######:)). So don't put too much weight on all that. She plaid you to get the visa...she's not the first nor the last...there are soo many girls like that you would be surprised if you knew.

Just let her go man...she dumped you man...for whatever reasons she had...it was planned for sure. But for whatever reason she did that, remember that what comes arround goes arround. She'll have her share eventualy.

I am 100% sure that by the end of these 90 days she will be figured out that living here is not as easy as she imgined and she'll get in touch with you, give you whatever horror storry she can imagine t justify her actions and possibly mess ou up a little more(make you think). You may or may not marry her..just remember that she'll not be sincere.

By the end of these 90 days she would have had enough time to be instruced by others and see with her wn eyes that marring you would have been a more confortable optin for her. Anyway, try to remember these when she comes or calls back. Do't get suckered again, man...i don't know you, but my heart cries for you...

Date dude, let her go, cose this chapter in your life, just turn the page and move on. As long as you still wonder about her and her possible scenarios, you'll be misserable. And for wahat? She's not worth one more day of your thoughts(you are obviously not in hers) so....

For the future be very careful who you wanna marry. You see a red flag or something, don't overlook it. I also noticed that when things seem too good to be true, they probably are...soo keep that in mind when a woman tells you that her purpose and passion in life is to clean your house and do the laundry. Doesn't that sound a bit "yeah, right?"

Anyway, do date, go out, see your friends and when she shows up at your doorstep, make sure the "door" stais closed and your mind sharp.

all the best

[Caladan 19]

I remember people saying to contact ICE (and) USCIS

I remember some people saying that ICE is enforcement. So I am quite sure I NEED to contact them.

My question is: do I (NEED) to contact USCIS???

I know some people saying I (should), but do I need to?

Will contacting ICE only be okay?

I will be contacting ICE soon..

thanks

You should let USCIS know. They're the ones that approved the petition, and they're the ones you'd primarily deal with had you married and adjusted status. And they're the ones you'll want to have a track record with should you in the future want to petition for another foreign fiancee. Plus, it keeps them up-to-date on her status, too. She can't adjust status by marrying anyone else, but it would be nice to have it concretely in her file that she disappeared.

Consider how it looks, when you're applying for your later fiancee, that you've had a fiancee before, she disappeared ten days after arrival, but you never called the cops or let them know. You want to contact USCIS so they know that you're not party to immigration fraud, because it would be easy for someone unsympathetic to you to spin a story about how you and your ex-fiancee had a deal to get her to the U.S. I mean, hey, they might think: This guy's fiancee disappeared and he didn't call anyone?

ICE, imo, is sort of optional, at least from the 'round her up and send her away' angle. Contacting USCIS gives them all the information they'll eventually need. They're enforcement, but your fiancee is still here legally and completely in status. She might not be in another 70 days, but she is now. And you don't have a location on her.

[Magnolia31 0]

I know, yesterday was my posting record! LOL .... Things people do when they are bored. i have no life right now since my husband is gone. Well, I have my daughter and my pregnancy to keep me busy but my husband is really missing out of teh equation. Today is my birthday and it doesn't even feel like it.

Anyhow, I can understand it pisses you off if your fiance (i know, i keep calling her your wife - it's a habit) marries someone else but just keep in mind that if she does, it would look very fraudulent if she tried to apply for AOS with someone else since she came on a K-1 with you. It wouldn't look right and the petition would probably be denied. I could be really wrong here but I definitely do not think it would be that easy for her to go and just marry someone else without a serious interrogation from USCIS.

Yeah, if it's not in your nature to be evil like me and threaten the old lady, don't do it! LOL j/k but I can understand why you don't want to do it. I guess that would be mean at the moment.

I am glad that you decided to report this whole thing for to cover your own butt. I think it's so important that you do this so nothing can come back to slap you in the face later, know what I mean?

Let us know if you hear anything or get more information.

Sandra

Wow Magnolia you posted a lot.

Thanks for some more info about the school issue. Its not that it really matters in the scheme of things. But it is good to get info. to satify my curiosity. Also some posted about that (if) there was another man, that she COULD marry him. Of course this pisses me off. But I rather know that she could. Rather than not having any answer, whether she could or could not. For me, I rather know the truth even if it is bad, than not knowing and going around wondering.

I am not sure what her plans are now. School, work or whatever. Of course i wish I knew.

She told me she did not want return to college, but if she did someone would have to be helping her out. I can't see just a friend paying for schooling.

Another reason I think there could be another man is that, she went to college before and said when she came she did not want to go back to school. And in Brasil, she never had a job. Her family gets by, her brother is the sole bread winner. Her household could have definetly used the money if she worked. From our conversations and her actions, she( definetly ) made it clear that she was against the idea of having a job. If she has no desire to work or go to school, what is she going to do here. I can't see (just) a friend, having another friend come and stay with him/her and do NOTHING. If there was a man, I could see this happening, but not just a friend.

Magnolia, she is NOT my wife. She is my fiance. Actually Former fiance now. As many have said, it is better that she did this only after being here like a week, than getting married then leaving.

I don't have the money to go track her down.

I would feel bad threatening some old lady. even more now that she just lost her husband. i did write an e-mail to my former SO that I would tell the authorities that Sarah was the last person to see her and that Sarah might get in trouble. I told her that if she came clean, I would not mention anything about Sarah.

I do plan to pass on Sarah's info. to the authorities. I want to come clean with them when I report this. I have no illusions on them even following up with Sarah about this case. I just want to make sure that I do tell them everything so if there is an investigation on me.

About her going to Arizona or not going. I am quite certain she went. She was very fond of this older couple. Roy, Sarah's husband, was on his death bed so I am sure she went there to see him before he died. Besides her and her son said she was there.

It would have been easier for them to say, " sorry I haven't seen her".

On another note. I am sure your husband will be fine in Iraq. I spent a year there, so I know he is costantly thinking of you and looking for the day to be reunited. When i was deployed, e-mails were nice, but once in a while send him a nice hand written letter. i liked those the best. Pictures and care packages were always appreciated. Little things like this can make a big difference when you are over there. I know.

[payxibka 10,045]

Anyhow, I can understand it pisses you off if your fiance (i know, i keep calling her your wife - it's a habit) marries someone else but just keep in mind that if she does, it would look very fraudulent if she tried to apply for AOS with someone else since she came on a K-1 with you. It wouldn't look right and the petition would probably be denied. I could be really wrong here but I definitely do not think it would be that easy for her to go and just marry someone else without a serious interrogation from USCIS.

Not only might look fraudulenet but you simply CANNOT adjust from K-1 status with anyone else other than the petitioner.

[Magnolia31 0]

As far as USCIS goes, I can tell you one thing. My husband pissed me off really bad a few months ago and to get under his skin, I told him I was leaving and going back to El Paso where I grew up. Of course I wasn't going but in the heat of the moment, I said it. He ended up calling USCIS to see what he should do if I left and they told him to notify them immediately because he is responsible for me. They said even though it has not been 90 days, contact them right away so that they were aware. I know he called them because I picked up the other phone because I thought he was bluffing.

OK there, didn't wanna "air" my dirty little secrets but here ya go.

Sandra

I remember people saying to contact ICE (and) USCIS

I remember some people saying that ICE is enforcement. So I am quite sure I NEED to contact them.

My question is: do I (NEED) to contact USCIS???

I know some people saying I (should), but do I need to?

Will contacting ICE only be okay?

I will be contacting ICE soon..

thanks

[jonkam 0]

Thanks for the responses

As far as me her telling me that she wanted to be a housewife. I suppose (maybe) she thought that is what I wanted to hear. As I said, back home, she did nothing but stay home and take care of the house. Back home she had no desire to work or return to school, so I tend to believe her when she said she wanted to continue doing the same here.

As far as me wanting a woman to just stay home. Honestly, I would rather her do something. In all my relationships, I always had an understanding that I would do the "boys night out" thing with friends. If you are in a relationship where you are the person's whole life, it is more difficult to leave her at home abd go out with your friends. But, if she has a life and goes out with friends of her own, then doing so is much easier. I have always had this understanding when dating or living with a woman. In a relationship you need to spend intimate and quality time together, but it is also healthy to get away once in a while for a few hours and meet with friends without your other half there.

I am a product of American culture, so a woman with her own job is normal. Marrying a woman that can do the domestic thing (ALSO) is nice, but I was not with her because I wanted a maid or something like that and I made that clear to her. If she wanted to tell me what I wanted to hear, she would have said, she wanted to go to school and complete her degree. So i tend to lean toward, the housewife thing could actually be the truth.

Magnolia, thanks for sharing the personal story.

I have made an infopass appointment. I will go and tell what I know and get the official word on what happens and what, if anything, I have to also do. call ICE or whatever else.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

In all my relationships, I always had an understanding that I would do the "boys night out" thing with friends.

Okay, I'm calling you on it - you are a female! There's no way a man would call it "boys night out"!

[rebeccajo 14]

In all my relationships, I always had an understanding that I would do the "boys night out" thing with friends.

Okay, I'm calling you on it - you are a female! There's no way a man would call it "boys night out"!

Steven....