Fiance Disapeared !!

[Jaseball 0]

PI would be useless. Not only would you be paying out the nose, but you have to cover their travel and expenses while they are 'on the case.' He may as well just call the people she knew and tell them he is coming over for a visit himself because he wants to clear the air and find out as much as possible. Or pretend to be a PI and come unannounced and stake out the house, but then he could be considered a stalker.

I've brought up the police report about 5x in this thread and the OP seems to think it isn't a big deal, but it's his life and all you can do on a message board is make suggestions.

[jonkam 0]

Thanks all for your help and concern for my dilema.

I have been feeling a little better. Trying not to think about it. Very difficult to do so. I am doing better. I guess time heals all. I still have not heard anything from her. I have a feeling I never will, so I just have to accept that I will probably never find the TRUTH. Even if she did contact me, there is a strong possibility that she would not be honest.

When someone is placed in asituation like mine, it is impossible to not think about all the "what ifs". Some people have suggested that it was unhealthy to think of these things. I tend to agree. But it is totally unavoidable. I am sure that 99% of the people here would be thinking of different scenarios if this exact situation occured to them. Thank you all for bearing with me and for most of you to be supportive. it has helped.

I will take into consideration filing a missing persons report.

As far as her accusing me of abuse. Unless she did so the first day or two after she left, it could be easily proven that I could NOT have possibly done it. For those of you who have a clue to who I am, I am sure you can understand my logic.

As far as some saying I should hire a PI. I suppose if I had the money to do so, I might consider it. But, even if I did have that kind of money, I doubt I would do so. as far as showing up at Sarah's house. Getting there would be very costly. And honestly, I just don't want to spend more money on this relationship. I am sure that a lot of us know the expense of having a SO in a different country. Now its even more that they raised the fees.

i am sure that I will be able to move on. Totally forgetting will be impossible. i do not think i will carry my emotional baggage with me to my next relationship.

I read the post by the filipino woman. So sad. I do not understand how a man could treat any woman, let alone his pregnant wife, like that. When I read her story. Why do good people always seem to get crapped on. I thought that my situation is rather small compared to her. I wish her luck. My and her story is an example why things take so long.

Anybody know of any nice women "IN" the U.S. I am single again.............

Edited August 24, 2007 by jonkam

[Jaseball 0]

I'd suggest giving it some time before hopping back into the relationship game. Make sure you have this one closed and well at hand before you decide to pursue a new one.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Anybody know of any nice women "IN" the U.S. I am single again.............

PM me...I know a nice girl who's looking for a nice guy like you.

[okspider 0]

Anybody know of any nice women "IN" the U.S. I am single again.............

I hope you are joking! I would not even be able to breathe let alone type those words if I were you.

[wjr 3]

whoa I'm confused...she came here on a k-1 for the purpose of marrying you and she lives a few thousand miles away from you? Do you mean in the US? This is very confusing for me to follow but good luck!

No, sorry for the confusion. Her elderly friend lives far away. So she must have caught a flight to go see her.

Sorry if my post is a little confusing. My mind is not all there as of late. Hope you can understand.

Did you even get married yet?? If not then you have nothing to worry about, she is only legally able to be here for 90 days regardless if she would try and claim abuse. Thats it 90 days...... done and over with. If she decides to stay past the 90 days that is on her. I would contact the Embassy where you live and ICE just so they are aware of the situation. WJR

[William33 110]

As far as some saying I should hire a PI. I suppose if I had the money to do so, I might consider it. But, even if I did have that kind of money, I doubt I would do so. as far as showing up at Sarah's house. Getting there would be very costly. And honestly, I just don't want to spend more money on this relationship. I am sure that a lot of us know the expense of having a SO in a different country. Now its even more that they raised the fees.

Then give up and move on. Simple as that.

[jonkam 0]

Anybody know of any nice women "IN" the U.S. I am single again.............

I hope you are joking! I would not even be able to breathe let alone type those words if I were you.

"Sort of"..

Of course I'm not ready to jump into anything this second.

I will be keeping an open mind and my eyes open. During the time i was with her, I met a few women that if I was not committed, I would have taken a second look at. When we, men and women, get a little older it does get more difficult to find a good match. Finding someone we like and who is available can be few and far between.

Of course I am not back to normal, but each day that does go by I am feeling much better. It is a little easier to get over someone when they have disrespected you so badly as she did to me. Everyone here and my friends has been supportive, and it has helped a great deal. Things could have been much worse.

The answer to your question is yes and no. I'm not looking for a date at this very moment, but I will not let this situation keep me down forever. many probably know "who" i am and what i look like ,so in the future, if someone thinks they know someone nice,, who knows. sorry for making this post, off topic. Don't mean to turn this into some matchmaking service!.............

[jonkam 0]

As far as some saying I should hire a PI. I suppose if I had the money to do so, I might consider it. But, even if I did have that kind of money, I doubt I would do so. as far as showing up at Sarah's house. Getting there would be very costly. And honestly, I just don't want to spend more money on this relationship. I am sure that a lot of us know the expense of having a SO in a different country. Now its even more that they raised the fees.

Then give up and move on. Simple as that.

This whole thing just went down like 4 days ago or so. So I think I am handling it rather well. My frame of mind from when i started this till now is much better.

Life is rarely as "simple as that", but that for the advise.

[MKCT 0]

As far as some saying I should hire a PI. I suppose if I had the money to do so, I might consider it. But, even if I did have that kind of money, I doubt I would do so. as far as showing up at Sarah's house. Getting there would be very costly. And honestly, I just don't want to spend more money on this relationship. I am sure that a lot of us know the expense of having a SO in a different country. Now its even more that they raised the fees.

Then give up and move on. Simple as that.

This whole thing just went down like 4 days ago or so. So I think I am handling it rather well. My frame of mind from when i started this till now is much better.

Life is rarely as "simple as that", but that for the advise.

Hey Jon,

I admire you, you are handling this pretty good....It's great to know that your friends are helping you. About time you told them.

Take care,

--MIRLA.

[rebeccajo 14]

Why do I keep hearing the words to the song "Against the Wind" in my mind.....

"I used her and she used me and neither one cared".................

[jonkam 0]

Why do I keep hearing the words to the song "Against the Wind" in my mind.....

"I used her and she used me and neither one cared".................

"what"

You've made a couple of comments and I didn't really get either.

Maybe I'm just not as smart and witty as you are. Dah, where did he go George, where did he go, Dah.

I would hold off making value judgements, In every relationship, everyone "uses" the other for something, love, emotional/financial support, companionship, etc. I think you are comparing apples and oranges.

[CarlaM 0]

Why do I keep hearing the words to the song "Against the Wind" in my mind.....

"I used her and she used me and neither one cared".................

the name of the song is "Night Moves"

[rebeccajo 14]

Why do I keep hearing the words to the song "Against the Wind" in my mind.....

"I used her and she used me and neither one cared".................

the name of the song is "Night Moves"

Oops. My bad.

[rebeccajo 14]

Why do I keep hearing the words to the song "Against the Wind" in my mind.....

"I used her and she used me and neither one cared".................

"what"

You've made a couple of comments and I didn't really get either.

Maybe I'm just not as smart and witty as you are. Dah, where did he go George, where did he go, Dah.

I would hold off making value judgements, In every relationship, everyone "uses" the other for something, love, emotional/financial support, companionship, etc. I think you are comparing apples and oranges.

No, I think your apples and oranges are just different than mine. It's been my experience than when two people love each other, when they rely on each other for emotional and financial support, and when they are true companions, that is not "using" each other. That's putting their oars in the water and rowing together because they know as a team they are stronger together than separate.

I just don't think you and she were on the same page.