Fiance Disapeared !!

[Jaseball 0]

Honestly? There might not be another guy, from what I know of my country and it's issues, and from what you've been saying, here and in your posts before this happened, she was REALLY trying to get to the US, and I believe she just wanted to go there, to work, to make money to send home. She tried other visa types and was denied, so she saw the opportunity with a K1, and she's obviously not in it for a GC, as she's fled as soon as she got here, I guess she wanted a way to get to US but defenitly not get married. It seems she doesn't mind working ilegally or staying ilegally.

I hate to continue the speculation, but I have to say if this is the case, then it is pretty ironic. She found what seems to be a decent guy who loved her and was sponsoring her. He probably would have treated her well, got her legal, and either helped her work and send money back or sent some of his own money back to help what was now his family as well.

Instead she flees at the first chance she gets, isn't even concerned with letting the guy know what was going on or how he felt, and is now out there somewhere unknown, doing something unknown.

I really suggest the OP file a police report ASAP to cover himself. Go in and talk to an officer and explain the situation and file it as a missing person's. At least have all this on record so if this situation escalates into further fraud or deception you have the report on file and your concerns listed.

[Ladylethal 12]

If she didn't want to get married and just wanted to get inside the US, she wouldn't stick around even if he's a nice guy. What I am saying is that there are different reasons why she'd leave.

[foxtobee 1]

My friend's had been warning me not because of anything in particular. Just the fact that she was foriegn and not currently residing in the U.S.. As with most news, only the negative stories get told. Be it abuse by a U.S. citizen or a scam by the beneficiary. It is very rare for the positive cases to make headlines. So when people hear you want to marry a forigner, they automatically think "scam". I am sure other members here have had to put up with negativety by family or friends. I surely can't be the first and only one. In hindsight, there were a few things that struck me as odd, but we are all odd in our way so I didn't dwell on it. I should have been more cynical, but its not my nature.

My family, friend and co-workers were suspicious too. I flew to the US meeting my then ' boyfriend' for the first time and they all were worried he would leave hanging and had me waiting for ever at the airport, to not show.

Luckily that didn't happen, but because of all the bad stories that come out, as you mentioned, it's not uncommon for people to think that way.

[jonkam 0]

I dont understand tho, why use YOU when she couldve just used the other guy

Imagine she met the "other" guy at the same time she got packet 3 from the Consulate, for example. She could get to the US in a few weeks through the OP, or start all over with someone else. And suppose the "other guy" is not offering marriage and/or is already married and/or is in the US but not in a position to sponsor anyone (ie, illegal himself)?

Lots of possible scenarios here, including a bunch that don't involve another guy at all...

She met another guys at the same time she got packet 3? How? Online? For a short period of time and then decided to leave her SO for someone who barely knows?????

Like Jon said, she didn't know much about this whole process, so if there's the possibility of another "guy" (illegal), she doesn't know what she got herself into.

I agree with Maya, lots of possible scenarios here, including a bunch that don't involve another guy at all...

--Mirla.

I can't see her leaving for a guy she just met. Her not knowing ANYTHING about the process is very true. She new NOTHING about AOS, getting an SSN #, and the legal limitations of the VISA. I never even mentioned these things to her, so I know she has no clue.

I'm thinking,( sorry another scenario coming your way), that is she did meet a different guy, U.S. citzen or otherwise, online and they fell in love, etc. etc. They could have decided to string me along for months until the VISA was approved. Maybe they were thinking that once she was in the U.S. everything would be a bed of roses. It is possible that THIS guy was as clueless as she was. Very possible.

When all this started for me, I figured that that I could just buy her a ticket to come here, meet my friends, see how I live, etc. When I realized it was impossible, this is when i started searching the internet and ended up here. Something like this probably happened to other members here. If she had told me, back then, honey wait for 6 months because I am working on a VISA to come be with you; I would have said "okay" and left it at that. I would never had made it to this forum and found out it just isn't that easy (marrying a foriegner). "IF" there was this supposed other guy, he may be toatlly clueless and doesn't even know about me and the mess he's in. If she could hide a guy from me, it would be simple to hide me from a guy too. And if he did know about me and didn't care, he still may not know she's screwed and can never be a U.S. citizen. maybe they knew and don't care.

If she has read my e-mails. She knows what a mess she's in cause I outlined everything.

[foxtobee 1]

You have been here for a year and don't know what an INFOPASS interview is?

I didn't know untill I needed one and that was also a year after I spent almost a year on here. So, not everybody figures out everything untill might actually need it.

[jonkam 0]

Not to beat a dead horse, but all of this rampant speculation is just feeding into the OP's fervent imagination. I know people are trying to be helpful, but every time you say "I think she...." or "She probably..." you're just making the problem worse. There are some good suggestions (such as filing a MPR) on how to follow it technically, but the OP needs to go on the facts and try to get at the heart of the situation. Speculating that she has a boyfriend does absolutely no good. At this point maybe she was kidnapped by Martians or won the lottery and is now the Queen of Easter Island. Yes, the evidence *suggests* a pattern, but the human mind has a funny way of inferring the absolute worst. Especially the male mind, and especially when it comes to their female.

It's all just creating negative energy at a time that the OP needs to be creating positive energy so he can get to the bottom of it.

Tha't all I have to say.

Speculation is all I have. people tell me " what about this and What about that", does no harm. I have thought about every scenario, and will continue to do so whether people add fuel to the fire or not. Actually having people say ya, that could have happened, is actually helping a bit, I was feeling very nuts when i could not share what I think with anyone. Sounds strange, having people share their theory is keeping more sane and is helping ,,strange.

[jonkam 0]

If something has happened to this woman, the OP is the first person the law is going to come looking for. If for no other reason than his own self-preservation (which he does seem to be interested in) he should report her as missing.

Heaven forbid, but if something bad did happen to her, it would be easily proven that I could not have done it. For those who have an idea of who I am, you can see my point.

[MKCT 0]

Honestly? There might not be another guy, from what I know of my country and it's issues, and from what you've been saying, here and in your posts before this happened, she was REALLY trying to get to the US, and I believe she just wanted to go there, to work, to make money to send home. She tried other visa types and was denied, so she saw the opportunity with a K1, and she's obviously not in it for a GC, as she's fled as soon as she got here, I guess she wanted a way to get to US but defenitly not get married. It seems she doesn't mind working ilegally or staying ilegally.

I hate to continue the speculation, but I have to say if this is the case, then it is pretty ironic. She found what seems to be a decent guy who loved her and was sponsoring her. He probably would have treated her well, got her legal, and either helped her work and send money back or sent some of his own money back to help what was now his family as well.

Instead she flees at the first chance she gets, isn't even concerned with letting the guy know what was going on or how he felt, and is now out there somewhere unknown, doing something unknown.

I really suggest the OP file a police report ASAP to cover himself. Go in and talk to an officer and explain the situation and file it as a missing person's. At least have all this on record so if this situation escalates into further fraud or deception you have the report on file and your concerns listed.

You know what? If you don't want to report this to USCIS and deport her yet, then just report her as missing at the police station. It doesn't matter if they look for her or not but at least, in case something worse happen, like she reporting abuse, you have a paper saying that you could have never done anything to her because first you were 10 days with her (not working) and then the very first day you went back to work, you came back and she wasn't there anymore.

I would do that because she might appear tomorrow, the day after or next week and if you've been sending her e-mails explaning her situation, I think at least she would be worry about it and call you...maybe she just haven't read anything.

Stay strong and start caring about yourself and eat something like I said before!

--MIRLA.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Not to beat a dead horse, but all of this rampant speculation is just feeding into the OP's fervent imagination. I know people are trying to be helpful, but every time you say "I think she...." or "She probably..." you're just making the problem worse. There are some good suggestions (such as filing a MPR) on how to follow it technically, but the OP needs to go on the facts and try to get at the heart of the situation. Speculating that she has a boyfriend does absolutely no good. At this point maybe she was kidnapped by Martians or won the lottery and is now the Queen of Easter Island. Yes, the evidence *suggests* a pattern, but the human mind has a funny way of inferring the absolute worst. Especially the male mind, and especially when it comes to their female.

It's all just creating negative energy at a time that the OP needs to be creating positive energy so he can get to the bottom of it.

Tha't all I have to say.

Best post in this fantastical thread!

[jonkam 0]

Pardon if I'm missing something, but I'm not really getting the reason not to file a missing person report. It doesn't mean that she is going to be arrested, and it's not like it is irrevocable. Plenty of people file those reports and call the cops back a few hours or days later to say "Oops! He/she was OK," and life goes on. And for those who had run away, unless they are underage (or mentally ill, etc) all the cops do is check that the person was not abducted or otherwise victimized. They can't bring someone back against her will unless she was underage (i.e, child runaways) which I certainly assume isn't the case here.

The OP's fiancee is gone and he doesn't know what happened. That's a good reason for a report. If she calls him and tells him what happened, or even just calls him to say she's alright, then he can cancel the report and deal accordingly with ICE. Certainly he should notify them if she has in fact left him (since it's then fraud if she stays) or if it gets closer to 90 days. As has been said by others here, all ICE cares about right now is that she came in legally and has about 75 days remaining in the states before the situation changes.

If I thought something bad happened i would file a report. Just because I don't know her exact location doen't mean she's missing. She wasn't abducted.

If I wanted to start a new life and I left without telling anyone here, and a friend talked to another friend in a different state, and he said "ya he was here, but he just left". "where, I don't know, but he's okay"

Am I technically a missing person?

Logical? or am I going insane?

[Jaseball 0]

The police report or missing person's report isn't to get the to do anything. It is about having a legitimate organization assign a case number and have a paper trail to protect yourself.

I would go down there and ask to speak with someone to file a report. Explain how you brought in your fiancee and planned on marrying her, but she appears to have left on her own. Describe your efforts to contact her. List out the friend and other details.

Tell the officer you assumed you got duped and she used you to enter the US and fled the first chance she got and you were embarrassed, but you felt the need to document what was going on and to have a record of her being gone.

She is missing as far as you're concerned. You don't know where she is. She hasn't been in contact.

Any of these scenarios could be true, but regardless of what happened you should protect yourself.

Don't be kicking yourself when 30 days from now there is a warrant for your arrest and you find out she went to the cops and falsely accused you and the only proof you have is a post on a message board and maybe some sent emails in your outbox.

It doesn't look good that your fiancee fled, left or whatever and you didn't report what happened.

[Gaby&Talbert 1]

What if she shows up dead or something and then they come to investigate you? Or what if she is arrested for something bad and then claims she paid you to pretend to be fiance just to get here? CYA

[perunyc 0]

what a horrible situation to be in. glad to hear that you are able to think a little better and have a little of an appetite now.

obviously someone has funded her travels from the point that she left your home. and likely she is safe or at least okay if the arizona family are truly her friends- i doubt they, and her family in brazil, would be covering her trail if they didn't know she was safe.

i agree that the majority of all the thoughts regarding why she has done this is speculation- and i understand that is all you have at this time.

i would report her as missing. i agree with establishing a paper trail. i hope she is not savvy into the immigration system or legal system, but perhaps absolute worst-case scenario would be her claiming you abused her. this has happened, unfortunately, to other people who have posted on VJ. protect yourself. you are going through enough stress and trouble now- you don't want to be kicking yourself in the future for not doing everything possible to 1) look for her (IF god-forbid anything bad does happen) and 2) protect yourself.

i understand the fear of judgement and "i told you so's" from friends/family. i married a south american. luckily people got to meet him before he arrived here for good, but that didn't stop friends/family from sharing concerns (primarily early on) about the south american guy suckering little white me into getting him his greencard. i can understand a little where you are coming from with respects to not telling your friends. yet. but if they are real friends, they will help you through this. if you are still dealing with this next week, maybe it'll help to confide. if they are real friends, they will know that something more serious is up than her just visiting her sick mom. in the meantime- perhaps PMing with people who know you here, as previously recommended, will give you much needed support and encouragement during the process and less negative and judgemental responses from the general forum. it seems you have some good friends here- use them.

good luck. stay strong.

Edited August 23, 2007 by perunyc

[foxtobee 1]

Is your fiancee's son in the U.S.? Or was it the son of the elderly friend? What was confusing is that you said your fiancee was from Brazil, that you called a mutual elderly friend in Brazil, and her son said she was on a bus to Texas and then the elderly friend flew to Arizona?

And somewhere in here you think there is a boyfriend... that she met in Brazil and is with in Arizona? (How did he get here?) That she met in the 10 days she was in here?

See, this is why I just gave immigration-related advice, because trying to find 'red flags' to help other people is hard when the story is sort of tangled.

Caladan, you have posted several times in this post. You keep stating things that I never said. Like my fiance having a son. I never said her friend was in Brazil. the elderly friend flying to Arizona??? Sorry never said that either. Never said she might have a boyfriend that she originally met in Brazil. Never mentioned about meeting a new guy within the time she came to the U.S.

I didn't think my writing skills were that bad where people can not follow my train of thought. I must admit that, i haven't really been proofreading with an editors eye. i am reading back now over some of my posts and my posts do seem for the main part, okay, lots of spelling and gramatical errors.

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. Everything i have said is not in one place. And you are mixing things up and creating your own statements using words and phrases I have used.

Or is it me? Am i so emotionally drained that my words and sentences seem to make sense to me, but are total giberish to everyone else.

i don't mind questions, but please be sure that if you atribute something to me, make sure that I actually said that. thanks

Everything you've written so far have been very easy to understand for me..... and English is not my first language, so to me it all makes sense.

Keep your head up and take care of your self. Make sure you eat, because it will help you think a little more clearly too.

[jonkam 0]

I don't want to stereo type anyone and say " oh it was because she was Brasilian" She was actually very different from the couple of Brasilians girls I have met here before at clubs. She is not from Rio or Sao Paulo, but from the interior part of the country. Girls there seemed a little more conservative, The times I was there. If there are any people from Rio or SP I'm not trying to offend. She did not drink or smoke, she was conservative. She would always go to church on Sunday and she prayed twice a day. The fact that she was a " church girl" makes it more difficult. How can she justify doing this. Maybe she thinks saying five hail marry's and ten Our father's will make it okay.

Actually, there is no difference in Rio girls, São Paulo girls and countryside girls when it comes to statistics of ilegaly going to US. And don't put stereotypes in girls from Rio and São Paulo 'cus it is indeed offensive. There are all types of people everywhere, be it in Brazil or elsewhere in the world.

If this girl really simply scammed you, she planned it and the whole church going conservative girl doesn't matter. Ilegals can be religious, or she could even be putting a show for you.

Never mentioned about statistics between Rio, SP and countryside girls and fraud. i wouldn't even know where to look for these.

Sorry, I did re-read my previous post and it is a little offensive, I think I should have chosen my words better. Sorry I should have proofread that one. What I wrote and what I was thinking did not come out right.

Yes it was offensive, sorry.