Too Old For Me To Worry?

[LuzyC 0]

Ive been taking care of Robin (ever since,IMO mother should) but Gary said he is old enough to do things for himself.I wake up at 5:00 to take care what he needs(breakfast and all).Since I take my walk or jogging in the morning I go and wait for the schoolbus with him.and Gary said that no mommy do that to their teenage kids.He said that kids here work and drive and know how to take care themselves.Also I notice that people here ( those I see and know) don't use umbrella even its raining,my friend fiance told her not to worry to get wet because rain here is no big deal for them and I hear that from Gary also.He told me that I'm not gonna melt and boys and men here don't carry umbrella. Ive been bugging Gary to buy me one and I get succeed (at last!! ) yesterday yay! ,its been raining this fast few days and Im worry about Rob.(here I go again), school bus stop is 2 blocks away from where we liveso if its rain he get wet before he get to bus and school.

Am I exaggerated mom or a worry old fart here?

[trueimage 0]

Luz, you are a good mom, but yes, you should let him begin to take steps on his own. If it makes you feel better, there's no harm in driving to school when it rains.

[Nessa 23]

How old is he?

[*JG* 2]

Ive been taking care of Robin (ever since,IMO mother should) but Gary said he is old enough to do things for himself.I wake up at 5:00 to take care what he needs(breakfast and all).Since I take my walk or jogging in the morning I go and wait for the schoolbus with him.and Gary said that no mommy do that to their teenage kids.He said that kids here work and drive and know how to take care themselves.Also I notice that people here ( those I see and know) don't use umbrella even its raining,my friend fiance told her not to worry to get wet because rain here is no big deal for them and I hear that from Gary also.He told me that I'm not gonna melt and boys and men here don't carry umbrella. Ive been bugging Gary to buy me one and I get succeed (at last!! ) yesterday yay! ,its been raining this fast few days and Im worry about Rob.(here I go again), school bus stop is 2 blocks away from where we liveso if its rain he get wet before he get to bus and school.

Am I exaggerated mom or a worry old fart here?

Those are all things that are new to you and, perhaps, culture-defined. I say do what you are comfortable with. If you want to walk him to the bus stop, then walk him to the bus stop. When you are ready to stop doing some of those things, then you will. Until then, do not let anyone tell you what to be comfortable with. IMHO, anyhow.

And, as far as the no umbrella thing......I think only idiots get all wet rather then carry an umbrella. If you are caught in the rain that came as a surprise, that is one thing. If you purposely let yourself get all wet cause of some misguided notion of manliness or whatever, that is just dumb. Again, IMHO.

Edited August 22, 2007 by Jomo's girl

[LuzyC 0]

How old is he?

He is 16. You should know that I don't drive yet and Gary is asleep when the bus leaves. (he works second shift)

Edited August 22, 2007 by LuzyC

[MHandMB 0]

I think it's natural to worry about your son, especially since he's in a new country and doesn't know a lot of people here. However, you're probably being just a little overprotective.

I don't know much about your neighborhood and safety issues, but I took the bus to school when I was a kid and always waited at the bus stop by myself with the other kids. If my mom had waited at the bus stop for me, especially when I was in high school, I probably would have been embarrassed. When I was 16, I began driving myself to school, so after that point I didn't have to worry about waiting at the bus stop.

I'm not sure what the deal is with umbrellas. A lot of people don't carry them anymore, but a lot still do. For me, it's not a matter of "looking cool" by not carrying one, but just that I simply forget to take one with me a lot of times. If I have one handy when it's raining, I use it. However, if Robin prefers not carrying one, maybe you can get him a hooded rain jacket? That would keep him dry, and he wouldn't have to keep track of the umbrella all of the time.

As far as getting up early with your son, that's certainly your choice if it's something you enjoy. However, I would be careful of him getting too dependent on you for certain things, since this is usually the age where kids are learning responsibility and preparing for adulthood.

In general, it's about how comfortable you feel with doing things. You've been raising him all this time, and it seems like, from your posts about him, you've been doing a good job so far, so I'm sure you'll continue to do so!

[GabachaYucateca 0]

While I agree with Jomo's Girl about doing what you feel is right, since Robin is 16, I'd also ask him what he thinks. He may very well like the company, but he may also feel uncomfortable about your walking with him but just be afraid to say anything for fear of hurting your feelings.

[LuzyC 0]

And, as far as the no umbrella thing......I think only idiots get all wet rather then carry an umbrella.

So I've seen many idiots then.. is that right?

[Caladan 19]

If he's sixteen, he's old enough to wait for the bus on his own. But I can understand you wanting to wake up before he does to make sure he gets off to school okay and with a good breakfast. My mom did that even though we all made our own breakfast. Up at 5:30 every day for 23 years.... my little sister goes off to college today and I think she's torn between missing her baby and realizing she'll be able to sleep in.

A lot of boys don't like to carry umbrellas. This is because teenage boys are often pretty self-conscious and umbrellas are hard to keep track of anyway. But a jacket with a rain hood will keep him dry.

[Krikit 1,163]

Luz, follow your heart and enjoy your way of being a Mom. If you and Robin want to use an umbrella when it's raining.... use an umbrella. I'm sure it's not very comfortable sitting in wet clothes and hair in order to conform to someone's idea of what's "a big deal" and what's not.

If you and Robin enjoy your Mom-and-son time waiting for the school bus, keep doing it. All too soon your son will be grown and gone, but you will both have happy memories of the time you spent together.

Everyone has their own ideas of what they would and would not do in life. You and Robin seem to be happy doing what you're doing. Unless your son specifically asks you to change, I'd keep on keepin on.

[LaL 418]

I don't carry an umbrella and I don't think of myself as an idiot, but I guess others do!

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Hi sis! I've noticed the difference with the way Jinky handles Job as well, like she will fill his cup with water. When my kids were his age, they already would get their own water, even using a chair to reach the cups from the cabinet. I really tried to get my kids to be as self reliant early on, but now that I've seen how Jinky is with Job (the bond is strong with his dependency on his mom for so many things), that I think it's also good for kids to be cared for like that.

I don't think you should worry if Robin shows that he has determination and motivation to do things by himself. I'd recommend to Gary to consider that. If Robin were acting helpless and lost as to what he should do in situations then that would be a problem, but if it's just the strong bond that you have for your son, that you will do extra things for him, I think it just makes him appreciate you more. I think it's just a matter of balance.

[Nessa 23]

I know you're trying to be a good mom, and I'm sure you are doing an excellent job, but I was a teenager just a couple years ago so I remember exactly how I hated being escorted by my dad. So I have to agree with Gary on this.

As for the umbrella, I don't use it unless it's really raining, if it's like very light rain I don't even bother opening, I won't melt with a bit of water, but if it's really raining I won't get myself completely wet, that's crazy. You shouldn't mind if people use it or not, if you feel like using it go ahead, it's perfectly normal IMO, specially if you don't want to mess up your hair or you want to keep your clothes dry, or want to avoid a cold.

[Queen Jenn 0]

I agree with the hooded jacket thing. I never carried an umbrella, but that's just 'cause I always forgot to take one. I think that making sure he has a good breakfast is a FABULOUS thing. But you may want to talk to him about walking to the bus stop. If he wants you to, that's fine. But if he doesn't, give him a little room to be independent.

And yes, there are a lot of idiots here (umbrella notwithstanding).

[LuzyC 0]

While I agree with Jomo's Girl about doing what you feel is right, since Robin is 16, I'd also ask him what he thinks. He may very well like the company, but he may also feel uncomfortable about your walking with him but just be afraid to say anything for fear of hurting your feelings.

I think it is just me.. but I know I can loosen here and there..lol! I just have to learn to do it.

Aside from Robin dont want to have goodbye kiss (outside of course and I understand that.. )no problem with him really..just get confuse lately (since this is his 1st time to have a full time mom and dad in his life. it is always him and me before) simply because mommy said daddy said stuff..

THanks for all the input and advice folks!