hello everyone

[MelindaandTarek 0]

deemabrouk - just stay safe and trust yourself and ur instincts and contact the local DV center - might be good to have the support - - u and ur children are in my prayers -

[deadbird 2]

yes.. I left with the kids.. cat AND the fish.. lol

Why do you have to be the one to leave? Why can't he leave? Afterall it is your house and you have kids! I would think that he would be noble enough to recognize that and offer to leave.

In a situation like this where the decision to divorce is not mutual, it is difficult to make him unerstand he needs to leave. Dee left for her own wellbeing until its worked out. I am sure once he understands that this is over, he will leave willingly. )If I understood Dee u to this point this is the way I understand it)

The affidavit of support only goes into effect for him if the aos is approved.

Sorry MBP but thats just a crock of bull. Its her house, he didnt contribute a damn thing to that house. Nothing in that home belongs to him. It doesn't need to be mutual for him to leave, she is unhappy and her kids are suffering. He is a guest and he should leave immediatly. She has children for gods sake. No matter how difficult it is for him to understand, he needs to be kicked to the curb instead of her own children suffering.

He is not a guest, he is her husband. This is his legal residence too. But that is not what I meant by it not being easy.

Idont care how much a husband and wife are fighting, try telling him to pack up his bags an leave. If he hasnt come to the conclusion that the marriage is over, his thinking is probably why should i leave my home?

Now there is no way I am defending him and the right thing for him to do is to allow Dee and the boys to stay in their own home, but we have all see here this story unfold. You think this is a good reasonable man who is putting the needs of his wife the the cildren first? His view of the situation is very different from ours and right or wrong he has this view.

Besides telling Dee that her leaving is wrong and he should be the one kicked to the curb is just not fair to Dee. She is struggling everyday (and I bet it is a lot worse than what we read here) and I think she did the right thing by rermoving herself froma terrible situation- even if it meant leaving her home.

Dee, like any woman going through this, is trying to best cope under extremely difficult circumstances. I would hate to even hint that somehow her decision to get away is a mistake. With his recent immigration, the abuse, the dynamics in that house over the last few weeks, it is not as easy as it sounds watching fromthe sidelines.

The most important thing here is that Dee and her boys are safe....everythign else will get resolved in due time.

Don't turn this around on me as if I am putting Dee down for leaving. I never put her down for it and that is not at all what I meant. However as a USC she does have some rights and maybe she doesn't know what they are. He IS a guest and it is NOT his home. I also never said any of this was easy but Dee also needs support in making her stronger throughout this ordeal. She is clearly suffering and unhappy and being back in her home will definitly take the edge off.

I don't see anything wrong at all with trying to give Dee the strength to kick him out. You are putting words in my mouth and I don't appreciate it. My post was made in support and caring of Dee not in any other way.

thanks everyone for your support......

He is starting to go in Stalker mode... so at this point.. everything is leaning towards getting the law involve

He pulled a few stunts at my job today that has got me freaked out.......

when I am not at work I can try to call a DV number and see what they have to say...

BUT sadly, I've been down this path before.. and I already know my options

I've given him EVERY opportunity to leave before things got sticky... and he just doesnt get it....

Aww Dee....-hug- please get the law involved now, the stalking scares me and the sooner you get the law involved the easier it will be. In eastern CT recently (within the past 6 years) we've had too many domestic violence incidents escalate partially because the victims waited to obtain restraining orders and the police depts also took too long in responding to those issues. I don't know how the police depts in your area are but please don't wait much longer!

[The_dip_sticks 0]

Dee Im sorry that you are going through all this hell. The good this is that you knew that it was time to get your self and your kids out of harms way. Hopefully soon you will be able to take some more action so that he may get the memo that he is no longer welcome and that you want him out of your life. Like mom always says to me it's better to be alone and safe than in bad company. I wish thoes people that are backing him up would just come and take him from your place. If they really support him they would have oppened the doors of their house tor him by now.

Maybe he might get the memo if you went to your house with some one to back you up in case he gets crazy, and asked him to leave and get his things and put them in a box and and put all his belongings on the curb. LOL It cant get any more blunt than that. Have you asked to straingt out to just leave?

I hope things get better for you soon, and that you may soon find your self free from this torment that you are living.

Edited September 12, 2007 by The_dip_sticks