Visa granted, but...

[Captain Oates 911]

Just a quick thought, since I really think you need to see your girl. I noticed your local office in the US is Vermont - does this mean she lives near Canada? You could always fly into Canada and meet up with her there for a weekend to talk things out. She won't have to quit her job and you'll better be able to sort things out.

Good luck, Teddy! I hope you can find a way to believe again.

We did that - Toronto 4 times - big hot bath for 2 in a nice hotel - niagara falls but thats was all ....yaberdaberdoo

oo you are awful...

2 of those were 'make up' meetings and they were both successes

Without Canada we would not have made it... Yonge street Toronto - mega

I got there 3 days early to get over jet lag and ended up in a gay bar - they are all gay bars actually - well I didnt know...

Got out with my crown jewels intact I am glad to report.

But I am retired with lots of time and a wad and it isnt so easy for Teddy I would guess...

But highly recommended if it is possible - she can do a 3 day weekend and he can do 5 days and get over the lag and scout out the fun places before she arrives...

cn tower - revolving restaurant - not expensive - v romantic except when you stand on the glass floor x billion feet up - no cancel, cancel not for the anxious ! just kiddin' it's really good... alan

[Teddy406 0]

Just a quick thought, since I really think you need to see your girl. I noticed your local office in the US is Vermont - does this mean she lives near Canada? You could always fly into Canada and meet up with her there for a weekend to talk things out. She won't have to quit her job and you'll better be able to sort things out.

Good luck, Teddy! I hope you can find a way to believe again.

We did that - Toronto 4 times - big hot bath for 2 in a nice hotel - niagara falls but thats was all ....yaberdaberdoo

oo you are awful...

2 of those were 'make up' meetings and they were both successes

Without Canada we would not have made it... Yonge street Toronto - mega

I got there 3 days early to get over jet lag and ended up in a gay bar - they are all gay bars actually - well I didnt know...

Got out with my crown jewels intact I am glad to report.

But I am retired with lots of time and a wad and it isnt so easy for Teddy I would guess...

But highly recommended if it is possible - she can do a 3 day weekend and he can do 5 days and get over the lag and scout out the fun places before she arrives...

cn tower - revolving restaurant - not expensive - v romantic except when you stand on the glass floor x billion feet up - no cancel, cancel not for the anxious ! just kiddin' it's really good... alan

Mate, its fear holding me back and fogging the issue, I didnt doubt that my fiancée was the one, I doubted that we could survive bad times, I thought/ convinced myself I'd answered something wrong on my medical/interview and they would find it out years later and I'd be deported ruining our lives, all that crazy stuff, and that the only way to avoid it was to punish myself now.

But how do you know they will happen untill these things from likely to EXTREMELY UNLIKELY happen?

I just have to stop thinking and worrying and do. Nuff sed.

[*julez* 124]

Teddy, I understand what you're saying. The point I'm trying to make is that seeing your girl again should make all those fears and worries fade away. And, as Alan pointed out, Toronto is a great Canadian city!

Renew, rekindle and all that bollo....

[TracyTN 237]

Toronto - YYZ. Rush.

Sorry I just thought that had to be said.

[Captain Oates 911]

Mate, its fear holding me back and fogging the issue, I didnt doubt that my fiancée was the one, I doubted that we could survive bad times, I thought/ convinced myself I'd answered something wrong on my medical/interview and they would find it out years later and I'd be deported ruining our lives, all that crazy stuff, and that the only way to avoid it was to punish myself now.

But how do you know they will happen untill these things from likely to EXTREMELY UNLIKELY happen?

I just have to stop thinking and worrying and do. Nuff sed.

I gotcha Teddy - I know that it's all the fears and not the thing itself.. that should make it easy of course but it doesn't

I was house imprisoned in Saudi once - long story - and I was under some horrible threats from my boss there - being put in a public cage with no toilet for 2 years and fed on swill because my wife was seriously ill and they would not let me go home to see her.

I was alone in a small room for 2 months living on bananas - they said when I ran out of em they would arrest me for vagrancy and give me the same punishment. You cannot leave the country unless your BOSS gives you an exit visa. I find it very hard to stay even in a motel room on my own as it evokes that time...

So I cope by never being in that position for more than a week. It's a workaround. Emigrating to a strange country where so many people have guns and the they execute people and the immigration system is as harsh as it is and if you don't have health insurance they will take your house - the US is a tough country if things go wrong and if you think about it you will be scared - it sure scares me.

But none of that will bite you because you are very aware of the pitfalls and will avoid em.

It's the non-worryers who have no insurance or are in the wrong place at the wrong time...

My son is a ridiculous optimist and staggers from one disaster to the next - he never sees danger. He bought a 1000cc motorbike in Tenerife - I told him he didnt have a bike licence - he said 'I have a licence ! I bought it from a scouser this afternoon - it only took him 5 minutes to make it'.. See what I mean ? that could never happen to you... Nobody is better equiped to grapple with the problems than you because you can see all the pitfalls and a hundred more that arent even there !

People like you are essential to people like me who are a bit cavalier in their attitudes - we need people who are looking out to see if the bridge in front has collapsed.

Make a virtue out of your fears - there is a positive side to everything

As Cat Stevens sung - 'and if I ever lose my legs - I won't have to walk no more'

probably a bad example as he is banned from the US under terrorism laws !

alan

[Teddy406 0]

Just to let you all know, I believe I can do this move now. The fear is slowly going after I thought how much my number one priority is to be with my fiancée and be with her forever. I'm still anxious, just not REALLY anxious.

In this last week while coming to this decision a couple of things happened which gave me a sign that this is right.

I found out a very big thing regarding the move I was worried about, was a load of rubbish and wasnt true.

Two other unrelated things that I was worried about for a long time also resolved themselves without a hitch.

[Lansbury 19]

Just to let you all know, I believe I can do this move now. The fear is slowly going after I thought how much my number one priority is to be with my fiancée and be with her forever. I'm still anxious, just not REALLY anxious.

In this last week while coming to this decision a couple of things happened which gave me a sign that this is right.

I found out a very big thing regarding the move I was worried about, was a load of rubbish and wasnt true.

Two other unrelated things that I was worried about for a long time also resolved themselves without a hitch.

Great go for it and don't look back.

[ChasUK 0]

Glad to hear it Teddy. I knew all you needed was some time for things to settle into place for you.

Good luck with the rest of it now mate

[*julez* 124]

Good luck Teddy!

[TracyTN 237]

Best of luck to you, Teddy!

[Captain Oates 911]

If you were worried about being drafted into the army and sent to Iraq or Iran, it is true that residents and not just citizens can be drafted, but there hasnt been a draft since the Vietnam war and it caused such a hoo-har that I don't see it being reinstated. So if that was one of the worries then I would totally discount it..

Luckily I am too old for that caper and my glasses would glint too much in the desert

alan

[VisaJourneyLady 33]

Glad to hear that you're more confident about the move now Teddy!!

Just wondering, if it's not too personal, what were the worries that you found out not to be true? Maybe it would dispel a myth that other people are also worried about.

Good luck with the move

xxxxx poiteen

[Teddy406 0]

Glad to hear that you're more confident about the move now Teddy!!

Just wondering, if it's not too personal, what were the worries that you found out not to be true? Maybe it would dispel a myth that other people are also worried about.

Good luck with the move

xxxxx poiteen

Thank You, It was a personal thing actually unique to my situation but it meant a lot.