Visa granted, but...

[Captain Oates 911]

And if I have read all these links properly, what this boils down to is that you cannot come to the UK as a visitor, marry a UK citizen, and remain in the country - as can be done by a UK citizen in the US?

That's correct Rebecca. You must enter on a fiance visa or be in the country on a valid non-tourist visa. They changed that in 2005.

UK immigration ? On a sunday morning, about 20% of the people in my local supermarket can speak english - 50% only show their eyes - I am not exaggerating - so since 2005, the sound of bolting horses followed by slowly closing stable doors can be heard throughout the land. During the petrol strikes and shortages, the petrol station had a sign outside which said 'asians only' - I saw it.

Even so, I much prefer many of them to many of the Lancastrians who can speak English and whose own culture has collapsed into drugs and drink and crime. In general, I consider the asians clean, hard working, well mannered and cheerful

But from my perspective, someone just gave my country and culture away - and I might as well be a foreigner in the U.S. as a foreigner here.

So it's hasta la vista to the England that was - you have gone forever - and hola mis amigos Americanos !

http://www.thisislancashire.co.uk/news/dar...ts_invasion.php

Edited August 23, 2007 by saywhat

[Lansbury 19]

And if I have read all these links properly, what this boils down to is that you cannot come to the UK as a visitor, marry a UK citizen, and remain in the country - as can be done by a UK citizen in the US?

That's correct Rebecca. You must enter on a fiance visa or be in the country on a valid non-tourist visa. They changed that in 2005.

In all the time I worked alongside immigration at Heathrow you were not been allowed to enter the UK and then change your status while in the UK. You had to leave and come back to do so. What the rational behind it was I don't know because in most cases it was just a paper exercise which could just as easily have been done in the UK as out.

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

Who hacked into saywhat's account and what have they done with allan?

[Captain Oates 911]

Who hacked into saywhat's account and what have they done with allan?

Shrup or I will put you over my knee ! - I am only being 'America can do no wrong' for a week as its my holiday time and I need a change

The first hurricane shelter experience or leaving my car in a bad area in Tampa will cure me and I will revert to type !

I will zip my lip while I am a resident but then when I become yankeefied, me and Arny are changing the constitoootion so that feriners can become president and then we will make some changes starting with the USCIS/NVC and that recorded message system ! haha !

alan

[TracyTN 237]

UK immigration ? On a sunday morning, about 20% of the people in my local supermarket can speak english - 50% only show their eyes - I am not exaggerating - so since 2005, the sound of bolting horses followed by slowly closing stable doors can be heard throughout the land. During the petrol strikes and shortages, the petrol station had a sign outside which said 'asians only' - I saw it.

Even so, I much prefer many of them to many of the Lancastrians who can speak English and whose own culture has collapsed into drugs and drink and crime. In general, I consider the asians clean, hard working, well mannered and cheerful

But from my perspective, someone just gave my country and culture away - and I might as well be a foreigner in the U.S. as a foreigner here.

So it's hasta la vista to the England that was - you have gone forever - and hola mis amigos Americanos !

http://www.thisislancashire.co.uk/news/dar...ts_invasion.php

That pretty much encapsulates the entire problem - NOW they're thinking 'whoops, maybe we SHOULD have a policy...!' Sad, really, that many of you feel like a stranger in a strange land (and are made out to be 'racist' if you actually say that's how you feel).

Who hacked into saywhat's account and what have they done with allan?

LMAO!! I have sort of wondered the same thing of late!!

Cheers Alan - we're just picking on you. Its our way of showing we care.

Now lets all sit round the campfire, hold hands and sing...

[Captain Oates 911]

Haha ! yes travel broadens the bottom if not the mind and Darwen, Lancashire has made a bigger impact on me than Capitol Drive Milwaukee or the New York subway at night or the back streets of Miami.

When we arrived here in February, we went for a walk in the 'riverside park' funded by the European Union. It was full of burned out settees and motorcycles and filth and litter and dog dirt on an incredible scale. I came home nauseated and depressed.

Being a trainee curmudgeon I wrote to the MP and the council - they can't fix it - a tiny number of overweight 5' 4" policepersons who can hardly walk for body armour and gadgets of every description are not going to stop a 6' tall 15 year old boy on a bike.

I went for some fish and chips. In Yorkshire, they do them in beef dripping and they are wonderful - in Lancashire, all the fish shops are Chinese and they do them in the same burned, dirty, tired oil as the spring rolls etc ! I actually threw mine in the bin (everyone else throws them on the footpath where it mixes with the rat droppings).

I think anyone worried about homesickness as they depart for the US should spend 6 months in Darwen, Lancashire after which they will NEVER NEVER NEVER look back. I think Haiti would be a step up actually

A local wag says it was named after Charles Darwin who found the 'missing link' between apes and humans in this town.

Everything in this life is relative and the US is going to have to be very bad to me to make me think I have made the wrong move.

I can't wait to go !

The newspapers are full of people being 'glassed' in the face with broken beer glasses and drugs and rats and gays come from all over to do 'it' in the lay-bys on the A66 road.

http://www.lancashiremosques.com/projects_details.asp?ID=5

http://archive.thisislancashire.co.uk/2002/4/10/624031.html

urghh - come on St Petersburg Florida !

[Teddy406 0]

I just dont know what to do, I have a great life here and was feeling really anxious about leaving / going to America and only having my fiancée as a support (no job/family/friends/car/legal rights). My fiancée was planning a biggish wedding, I felt that the twin things of getting the big wedding and emmigrating and all the questions and pressure was really affecting me, so we put things on hold.

Its been a couple of months of "limbo" and I am feeling a lot better and the anxiety is passing but I really dont know what to do...we are one third through our 6 month visa issuance period now and I dont know what the answer is, I just dont know how to make things right.

This is really affecting my fiancée, naturally, and I hate myself sometimes, but I still have a large part of me that wants to stay and bring my fiancée here, I like America, but I was only interested in going to be with my fiancée, not for a green card because I had nothing going for me here.

My fiancée , friends and family are all annoyed by my constant "flux" and dont seem to really understand

Im really torn and trying to work out what I can live with and without. I love my fiancée and wish i could "merge realities" and remove all the red tape / distance but I cant, it feels like "all or nothing" right now.

If anyone has some good advice, I'd love to hear it, Im feeling low about this and dont want to do something I'll regret for the rest of my life.

Teddy.

[Leney 0]

The K-1 visa is valid for six months. If it isn't executed it will expire and be null and void.

Thanks.

Where is the best place to look for UK visas and information?

It is looking like my fiancée might come here now instead. When we get married, it will still hopefully be in the US, but right now, we are looking at living together in the UK first, then going at a later date to marry. Is this possible? To bring a long term partner over to the UK to live with but without a wedding planned?

Teddy.

I am fairly sure she could only come as a visitor and I bet a pound to a penny the UK immigration officer at the port would deny her entry if they got wind of the circumstances. If she did get in as a visitor it would only be 6 months at most. She could come on a fiancee visa or spouse visa but I guess that isn't what you are looking for.

UK visa info at http://www.ind.homeoffice.gov.uk/

That's correct.

And for all the opinions one can read on the web about UK immigration being easier and simpler than in the US, there's definitely one area where it's not easier.

Once a USC enters the UK, they can't just up and marry their UK partner. The United Kingdom will not issue marriage licenses (or whatever they may be called over there) to any couple unless both are either UK citizens or the non-citizen partner has a fiance visa.

At least in America a VWP entrant from the UK can marry in the US. You can't do that across the pond.

Unless things changed in the past 5 years, I was able to enter the UK on my visitor passport for 6 months in 2002 apply for a marriage (however you have to be in the uk for over 15 days to apply), get a marriage license, and marry my (now ex-husband) fiance at the time in a civil ceremony. I had no problems at all. I was asked at the POE what my reason for visiting was, I said visiting friends and to meet my fiance's family, they asked if we had any plans to marry and stay in the UK I said no, he said no (he was traveling with me) they saw our return tickets, and then once I was there and met his parents we decided to get married. So it wasn't a lie we were just really effing stupid and did something neither of us were ready for...I did however return home after the marriage, at that time he was supposed to come to the usa, instead his family insisted I move to the UK (which I was in tatters over), his father came a month later to "fetch" me, and he went and got a visa on my behalf in New York and we flew out the next day. Non UKC's - (in fact two non UKC's can marry in the UK if they so desire) can marry without special visas as long as you have clear intent to leave the country on expiry of your visitors visa.

On a personal note, my ex's change of heart (as well as other things) about moving the US was a major factor in the downfall of our relationship. I wish you the best of luck though in whatever you decide to do - do what is best for the both of you.

Edit (i didn't read the whole length of the discussion before posting lol apparently the shtuff has changed! but oh well that's my experience anyway)

Edited September 11, 2007 by Leney

[Teddy406 0]

The K-1 visa is valid for six months. If it isn't executed it will expire and be null and void.

Thanks.

Where is the best place to look for UK visas and information?

It is looking like my fiancée might come here now instead. When we get married, it will still hopefully be in the US, but right now, we are looking at living together in the UK first, then going at a later date to marry. Is this possible? To bring a long term partner over to the UK to live with but without a wedding planned?

Teddy.

I am fairly sure she could only come as a visitor and I bet a pound to a penny the UK immigration officer at the port would deny her entry if they got wind of the circumstances. If she did get in as a visitor it would only be 6 months at most. She could come on a fiancee visa or spouse visa but I guess that isn't what you are looking for.

UK visa info at http://www.ind.homeoffice.gov.uk/

That's correct.

And for all the opinions one can read on the web about UK immigration being easier and simpler than in the US, there's definitely one area where it's not easier.

Once a USC enters the UK, they can't just up and marry their UK partner. The United Kingdom will not issue marriage licenses (or whatever they may be called over there) to any couple unless both are either UK citizens or the non-citizen partner has a fiance visa.

At least in America a VWP entrant from the UK can marry in the US. You can't do that across the pond.

Unless things changed in the past 5 years, I was able to enter the UK on my visitor passport for 6 months in 2002 apply for a marriage (however you have to be in the uk for over 15 days to apply), get a marriage license, and marry my (now ex-husband) fiance at the time in a civil ceremony. I had no problems at all. I was asked at the POE what my reason for visiting was, I said visiting friends and to meet my fiance's family, they asked if we had any plans to marry and stay in the UK I said no, he said no (he was traveling with me) they saw our return tickets, and then once I was there and met his parents we decided to get married. So it wasn't a lie we were just really effing stupid and did something neither of us were ready for...I did however return home after the marriage, at that time he was supposed to come to the usa, instead his family insisted I move to the UK (which I was in tatters over), his father came a month later to "fetch" me, and he went and got a visa on my behalf in New York and we flew out the next day. Non UKC's - (in fact two non UKC's can marry in the UK if they so desire) can marry without special visas as long as you have clear intent to leave the country on expiry of your visitors visa.

On a personal note, my ex's change of heart (as well as other things) about moving the US was a major factor in the downfall of our relationship. I wish you the best of luck though in whatever you decide to do - do what is best for the both of you.

Edit (i didn't read the whole length of the discussion before posting lol apparently the shtuff has changed! but oh well that's my experience anyway)

Well, the personal note really helped because that's about where I am, I do love my fiancée to bits, I just didnt forsee this big freak out / anxiety over leaving the UK. It's not that I think America is any "better" or "worse" than here, because I believe your life is what you make it wherever you are. It purely is whether just love alone can get us through all this. We are both independent people and neither REALLY like the idea of being dependent on the other and giving up our independence short term, its scary.

I just want to see my fiancée again and have fun and have a reminder of why we wanted to marry in the first place, its been 9 months now but now we arent in the position to visit each other.

In my head, it literally is on a knife edge, it feels like I *can* do it, I need time, which I'm running out of(visa status). I would think most normal people who are marrying for love get some kind of "cold feet" and anxiety over leaving.

I dont mean to be disingenuous to ANYBODY, but if you are marrying purely for the GC which some people clearly do, then going to America is the most important thing to you and all the extras like your family/friends/enviroment are a distant second, because you've clearly decided you want to live abroad first and foremost as opposed to have a good life together forever with your SO.

My head is spinning on this and I'm trying to bury my head in the sand and hope "it solves itself", but it isnt going to.

Nobody quite understands here and thinks im just doing things on a "whim", they all want me to stay (it's nice to have good friends and a family) and dont understand how I can "flip flop" , and I really feel the most for my fiancée because of the strain and the questions this is posing to her. Anybody else have this and do a last minute jump on the plane and throw caution to the wind?

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

WEll, I guess what you feel is perfectly normal. my husband didn't want to leave the UK but he wanted to be with me. It helped him when I told him that we could always go back if things didn't work out (it's always an option!). Things here are better than he anticipated but I know he misses home, the adjustment was hard for him but it's all been worthwhile.

Is your fiance happy to come to the UK?

[TracyTN 237]

Teddy - my husband had some of these same fears - albeit before we ever even applied for the visa. Not that he doubted us being together, but just the enormity of what he was about to do in total.

PM me if you think you'd like to talk with him on email. I'm sure he wouldn't mind.

[*julez* 124]

I think everyone who faces immigration has his/her moments of doubt. It is a massive life change, and doing it for love makes it a bit easier, but its still tough. It will be a big adjustment for you. I'm sure your decision making process isn't made any easier by well-meaning family and friends telling you they want you to stay. But as you say, its your fiancee that this is truly terrible for. She is at your mercy. And trust me, its agony for her (I know I've been in her position waiting for my fiance to decide if he could actually make the move, - like you his worry was about its being BIG move. I'm just grateful we went through it before we started the process.) You need to put aside what everyone else wants you to do and do some serious soul searching to figure out what YOU truly want. Figure out what you are really so afraid of. Its really not fair to leave your fiancee hanging like this. Family and friends are great, but they are not a replacement for a loving life companion. Its sounds like you really love your girl, but if you don't have the courage to emmigrate, then have the courage to let her go and get on with her life.

Teddy - I'm sorry if I sound harsh. I don't mean to, its just that its so hard to be on the waiting end, so I just want you to understand how truly awful it is to be the waiting person.

Edited September 11, 2007 by julezabelle

[Captain Oates 911]

Yes it's all about the individual - I have met xpats in the Canary Islands (my son is one - 12 years now) and Saudi Arabia and the US and Germany ...they all seemed a bit strange to me (including my son!) and the strange thing is they don't miss home. I think it's positive therefore and an indication of 'normality' when someone does miss many aspects of home.

I am emigrating to the U.S in November, perhaps 2 days before my 60th birthday at a time when most folks retire to their slippers and spaniel. I know I will never like America football with all the strutting and self congratulating hoo-har stuff compared to rugby- and that goes for many other aspects of American culture. But there are many other aspects that I DO like and I will come back to the UK 3 times a year to top of up 'normality'. I will listen to BBC 4 on the internet and get a satellite for BBC tv.. When I lived in Wisconsin I was highly impressed by the sensitive intelligent people who phoned in to radio shows and it was much more 'liberal english' than much of the stuff on the British media. I reckon I can find my kind of people in the U.S. - they are not all George W look and sound alikes. A lot of U.S. tv comedy is really good too so I will pick and chose - you dont have to be an American and You don't have to cling on to the Brit stuff either - you can have the best of both worlds...

If I had met Carolyn in the UK I would have been too scared to get married as I have a lot to lose financially at my age where I can't work again - but to be with her in the UK or US meant getting married so we did it. It was hard for me in the U.S. at first and there were many things really annoyed me like the sheriff getting out of the car with his guns to tell you to mow your lawn more often and the sun glasses/guns/puffed up chests of the police and park security people. Shudder. But there are some bad dudes in The U.S. and I would be glad of police like that were i to bump into the bad guys.

Similarly Carolyn has found it really tough in the UK - she still can't tell what her co workers are saying because 'they talk so quietly' and she fails to laugh at ANY Uk comedy before 9pm...and she thinks single mothers should be thrown out of their council houses and made to work as hookers to support their children. She wants to select her consultant before she has health care and interview them ! Yes her 'cultural programming' is very deep and she would never make it here in the U.K.

A friend of mine in the US has been there 12 years and I found out he is still a UK subject (we dont have citizens). I asked him why given that his kids are American and he has a great job/house etc and its safer to be a USC so he cant be deported. He said - because I am a BRIT and I always will be.

Remember its not forever - its not a 60 year journey to a planet with no turning back - - you CAN return. and I reckon we take the best and reject the rest and stay who WE ARE and become that percentage American that we want to be and have a great time that way.

The Americans can't have it both ways - they can't say 'you are only a resident, you are an alien and you can't vote' - and at the same time ask us to be American. The time for that is when we apply for Citizenship and at that time we have to really do things the American way while we are in America - and do it 100% British when we are in Britain.

Give unto Caesar that which is Caesar's and criticize the beer when it's freezing cold cat urine !

alan

[Teddy406 0]

I think everyone who faces immigration has his/her moments of doubt. It is a massive life change, and doing it for love makes it a bit easier, but its still tough. It will be a big adjustment for you. I'm sure your decision making process isn't made any easier by well-meaning family and friends telling you they want you to stay. But as you say, its your fiancee that this is truly terrible for. She is at your mercy. And trust me, its agony for her (I know I've been in her position waiting for my fiance to decide if he could actually make the move, - like you his worry was about its being BIG move. I'm just grateful we went through it before we started the process.) You need to put aside what everyone else wants you to do and do some serious soul searching to figure out what YOU truly want. Figure out what you are really so afraid of. Its really not fair to leave your fiancee hanging like this. Family and friends are great, but they are not a replacement for a loving life companion. Its sounds like you really love your girl, but if you don't have the courage to emmigrate, then have the courage to let her go and get on with her life.

Teddy - I'm sorry if I sound harsh. I don't mean to, its just that its so hard to be on the waiting end, so I just want you to understand how truly awful it is to be the waiting person.

To be fair, I have expressed my concerns and what I feel and been brutally honest. I did say to her, I'd rather let her go because I do love her than ruin her life by making this change under great pressure and without 100% commitment. My fiancée's "support situation" (job/family/friends) outside of our relationship in the USA, maybe isnt as strong as mine here is in the UK (in my opinion). On the other hand, the wedding **has** to be in the USA, due to family demands.

Her reaction was that "you love me, this HAS to work if we work hard and both love each other"

No, you don't sound harsh and I wish i'd had this BEFORE the interview and issuance, but I cant control my feelings. I am constantly toying with the "gamble, you can do it (emmigrate) more than her" thought.

[TracyTN 237]

You can tell me to climb a tree, Teddy, if you prefer not to answer - but I'm curious as to how long you and your fiancee dated (or had the LDR) before you applied for the visa?