adding spouse's name to deed on house

[my evil twin 0]

I am so up in the air about this idea (and embarassed about being up in the air) that I am posting under an alias!

My husband will be ready soon to file for removing conditions and I am thinking about adding him to the deed of my house, but I'm scared to do it. I know this is baggage that has to do with my first marriage, where my ex-husband became increasingly controlling and emotionally abusive until finally I had to get out to save myself. We had to sell the house when we divorced. It wasn't a total heartbreak because we had very little equity. But then I was basically homeless and it took quite a while to re-establish myself.

I have since purchased my own home and property values have risen in the intervening years, so I have a substantial amount of equity in this home. My current husband and I have been married well over a year now and we love each other to pieces. He has given me absolutely no reason to doubt his character or intentions. But I am scared to add his name to the deed, even though I definitely want him to have the house (and everything else) if anything should happen to me.

Feeling once burned, twice shy, as the saying goes. I know someone who recently got an RFE for more evidence when he tried to file to lift conditions for his wife. He thinks one of the reasons he got it is because he didn't show evidence of a joint lease or deed on property. Removing conditions evidence isn't the only deciding factor for me, but it is definitely one of them.

Has anyone else felt this way, and how did you handle it?

[bszoom42 0]

What state did you get married in?

What state are you a and your spouse currently a resident of?

Did you sign a prenuptial agreement? If so, are there any relevant details regarding the house or capital property?

Do you have a will? Has it been updated since your marriage?

If something happens to you, it is typical that your spouse gets the house as long as you were legally married before something happening to you.

You might want to contact a qualified family/estate lawyer.

Edited August 15, 2007 by bszoom42

[Jasman0717 9]

You probably need to understand the laws of the state you live in. You might seek legal advice on this, it may give you peace of mind. Good luck

[diadromous mermaid 36]

I am so up in the air about this idea (and embarassed about being up in the air) that I am posting under an alias!

My husband will be ready soon to file for removing conditions and I am thinking about adding him to the deed of my house, but I'm scared to do it. I know this is baggage that has to do with my first marriage, where my ex-husband became increasingly controlling and emotionally abusive until finally I had to get out to save myself. We had to sell the house when we divorced. It wasn't a total heartbreak because we had very little equity. But then I was basically homeless and it took quite a while to re-establish myself.

I have since purchased my own home and property values have risen in the intervening years, so I have a substantial amount of equity in this home. My current husband and I have been married well over a year now and we love each other to pieces. He has given me absolutely no reason to doubt his character or intentions. But I am scared to add his name to the deed, even though I definitely want him to have the house (and everything else) if anything should happen to me.

Feeling once burned, twice shy, as the saying goes. I know someone who recently got an RFE for more evidence when he tried to file to lift conditions for his wife. He thinks one of the reasons he got it is because he didn't show evidence of a joint lease or deed on property. Removing conditions evidence isn't the only deciding factor for me, but it is definitely one of them.

Has anyone else felt this way, and how did you handle it?

A spouse would only be entitled to appreciation during the marriage, in most states, that is. This is a case that would be best served through a consultation with a family lawyer. It doesn't hurt to find out the "what ifs".

[raymaga 25]

I understand what you are saying completely. Even though I knew my husband was an upstanding person and would never leave me high and dry financially, I had to make a big decision before we started the K-1 process.

I had a substantial amount of money from the sale of my house I owned with my ex-husband. If I would have used that money to pay off my husband's daughter's college expenses, as well as the debts that he had at the time, we would now be living in Canada (which was the preferred place to live for both of us). He could then have immigrated to Canada (instead of me immigrating to the U.S.) without any financial obligations and I could have supported us until he found a job in Canada.

But, I was a little scared to use my money to get him "debt-free" just in case something happened afterwards and I'd have lost a lot of my money in the process.

But, as it turns out, we are still living happily together and I now wish we had brought him to Canada!!!!!

[Otto 83]

I am so up in the air about this idea (and embarassed about being up in the air) that I am posting under an alias!

My husband will be ready soon to file for removing conditions and I am thinking about adding him to the deed of my house, but I'm scared to do it. I know this is baggage that has to do with my first marriage, where my ex-husband became increasingly controlling and emotionally abusive until finally I had to get out to save myself. We had to sell the house when we divorced. It wasn't a total heartbreak because we had very little equity. But then I was basically homeless and it took quite a while to re-establish myself.

I have since purchased my own home and property values have risen in the intervening years, so I have a substantial amount of equity in this home. My current husband and I have been married well over a year now and we love each other to pieces. He has given me absolutely no reason to doubt his character or intentions. But I am scared to add his name to the deed, even though I definitely want him to have the house (and everything else) if anything should happen to me.

Feeling once burned, twice shy, as the saying goes. I know someone who recently got an RFE for more evidence when he tried to file to lift conditions for his wife. He thinks one of the reasons he got it is because he didn't show evidence of a joint lease or deed on property. Removing conditions evidence isn't the only deciding factor for me, but it is definitely one of them.

Has anyone else felt this way, and how did you handle it?

my evil twin,

2-cents...

First of all - your mortgage company may have issues with you adding someone who they don't know/haven't qualified to the deed...however, in many states this can be done and usually via a Quit Claim Deed - a real estate attorney can do this for a small fee (can be done by yourself though).

Secondly, there are other ways to show evidence without having ones name on a deed - bills of pretty much any type, for example... If you were leasing, I would say, yes - get him/her on the lease.

Lastly - if him/her having the house should something happen is the driving force, this can be done with a will - which we should all have no matter what.

Am sure you'll find the right answer...

[my evil twin 0]

Yeah, I just got some software to make a will. I'll look that over and then go talk to the lawyer.

Thanks everyone for your suggestions and thanks to Raymaga for her empathy, too. I really appreciate it.

You guys are great... responding even though I have my evil twin outfit on!! thanks again!