1 Year Later

[~*Maria*~ 1]

pmsl @ your boxers a** sprawled across the pillow.....sounds just like my cat!!

Yep. When I would come back to NY from Aberdeen, I'd be used to having Graham next to me... She used to lie on the other side of the bed-I cannot tell you how many times I have kissed that dog's bum in my sleepy state. It's an eye opener !! Quite revolting !!!

If you saw her you'd understand even more-she's no beauty queen...Hubby says she's got a face like a bag of smashed crabs ! Although she is his favorite dog because she plays football like a pro...He says she could be on the Dons if she wanted !!!

: )

OMG!! hahahahaha i believe ya Rose! kissing the dog's bum in the middle of the night would definately make you want to grab a bucket ...just the thought of doggie drool covering my lips..ugh not going to go there

I think Graham would be better signing her up to play for a better team than the Dons!! How about Celtic?? hehehe just windin ya up btw G

Maria

I know nothing about the Don's, or football for that matter LOL...do they suck that bad??? LOL

I'm more a baseball fan myself...

Errrrrr, well the Dons aren't the brightest team in the SPL...just ask your hubby he should think about signing his semi-pro doggie up for one of the better teams.......and yer in my opinion..........uh huh the Dons suck!! but i'm biased....bein a Celtic fan myself of course

[MrsBruce5 0]

I think if I were to say anything remotely to that effect-he'd divorce me and marry the dog !! I gotta post a picture of her...she's quite possibly one of the UGLIEST mutts around...hmmm, this doesn't say much for me-but then again, I don't play fitba !

LOL

I asssumed that they did suck from things I've heard over the years-but I gotta say-My man stayed loyal despite the suckery !

[~*Maria*~ 1]

I used to play fitba all the time when i was kid,.....i was the only girl on the team the boys were big babies coz they used to cry when i kicked them in the shins to get the ball

I've seen a few Boxer's and i'd have to agree with ya....they aint the nicest lookin mutts...their faces look like it got smacked with a shovel.

Loyalty to your fitba team no matter how bad they get says alot about yer man Just think of the wind-ups he gets by his ~ non - Don!!! supportin mates....i bet he takes alot of ####### from them.....poor sod

[JA Tam 7]

Thanks so much for the post. I haven't started this part of my journey and though I am looking forward to finally being with my husband, I have been anxious about his adjustment to the US. Only this week I was talking this through with my sister, even to the point that I planned on avoiding a dish that I know his mother prepares every Sunday.

Thanks again and I am preparing myself for what's to come

[richardwillis1950 0]

1 Sept 2007

Well I must say that I think we've all been here!

However after 3 years here - with only "rubbish" work available -

e.g. sweatshop call centre or wallmart(!) I am ready and waiting to return to the UK next February 23rd (2008) - and I can't wait!!! - I have found the US to be a crude and selfish society - where rip-off rules the day.

I am sorry for new arrivals here - they and their partners are going to go through this maelstrom of emotions whilest they both are trying to adjust to this climactic shift in their relationship!

My wife and I are very happy together - but we just don't want to live *here* any longer than we have to! - and please - spare us the propaganda drivel about the much vaunted "american dream" -

the reality for most people here - whether immigrant or native - is survival ina prehistoric society!

If you doubt this - pay a few visits to your dentist or doctor - a wake-up call!!!!

I read recently in a major US newspaper that for the first time in history there is a movement of immigrants back to the east from the US - I am not surprised!!!

Goodbye America - and good riddance to the sweatshop society!!!

Hi,

Last Thursday, Mr. B was in the US for 1 year. We had at least 200 arguments, 1 suitcase packing, a million and one tears, a visit back home, and resolution...

We are happy, but the adaptation was a bit like evolution. The first few weeks were like a dream, and then reality set in.

He had to find work, get a driver's license, and learn to live with a wife, a step-son, and 4 dysfunctional dogs. It was stressful for me, as I had to support us financially, and basically walk him through virtually everything. My husband led a very pampered life in Britain and relied on his parents for many things that I feel, at his age-he should have learned how to do by himself. Now, he was relying on me. I resented this, and his parents for not allowing him to "be a man"...

Then there were communication issues...although we spoke the same language, it seemed that there were so many miscommunications, and everything I said would upset him...I don't mince words. I tell it like I see it-and although this was a trait that my husband loved about me BEFORE we lived together-now, it was an issue.

The first 2 months were HARDER than being apart.

On a good note, no problems with his green card and he was lucky enough to find a GREAT job in his field within 6 weeks, and he already had a car that I bought him WAY before he arrived. Things were taking shape...

Then, only after 8 weeks, his parents came over to visit, and it seemed that whatever work we accomplished, seemed to be over shadowed by his missing them after they left NY. He would cry, and since I really don't have a great relationship with my mom, and my dad is passed-I could not understand a 30 year old man crying that he missed his mum & dad. He spent all day on Christmas crying and it was THE WORST holiday I ever had. In all honesty, I felt insulted by this. I felt that he should have been happy to be with me after being apart for so long. I cooked my a** off, making food from both my Italian traditions, and his country. I worked so hard, and felt so unappreciated.

I felt over whelming guilt for taking him away from "home" and had such a hard time even speaking to his parents in those months.

We had our ebbs & flows through the winter. He became more responsible and I felt less pressure. Although we still had many miscommunications, things seemed to be calmer sometimes. I tried to understand how he felt and my compassion took over. We were due to visit his parents in April, but I felt that his 1st trip back should be done alone. I bought him a ticket for April to visit for one week. I missed him terribly, but would not phone while he was over, because I felt he needed to just be who he was, and appreciate his time with his friends and family. I spent the week with my son, and we enjoyed our time. It was like "the old days", my 9 yr old son said... LOL My son loved being alone with me, but started getting grumpy after about 4 days...He missed his step-dad.

One of the days while he was away, he was at a football game with his dad-his mum phoned and we talked about things-how guilty I felt, and how much she misses him, but sees just how happy he is, and we realized that we are alot alike.

Upon my husband's return to NY, he was different-in a good way. He missed me, our son, our wacko dogs and life in NY. he realized that he owned his life here, and that it was his. After this trip-it was as if he'd grown up and it seemed that his parents stepped back after seeing the changes in him.

I was different too-I missed him, and how he makes me and our son laugh everyday. I missed his snoring, and his drooling on the pillows. I missed the way he plays with our dogs, and I missed his smile.

I realized that anything that is worth doing takes hard work. I patched up things with my mom that week as well. I think I grew up too.

Our son was back in a good mood again and so happy that his step-dad was home with us.

Life changed that week in this house...

It seems as if we finally understand each other after one year. We accept each other's imperfections more and actively work together in creating our life.

We are different people, from different places, and sometimes we need to take a step back and remember this fact and appreciate the differences. It takes empathy. patience and a great amount of love.

It has been SOME year. Like a roller coaster that has finally stopped. We're still dizzy from the ride...but we have learned a great deal about ourselves.

After all this, he is still the only star I can see in the night sky.

To anyone going through the 1st year...It's ceratinly a b*tch. Work together, talk about everything no matter how much it is uncomfortable, and NEVER EVER forget your love, loyalty, and friendship to each other.

Rose

[MrsBruce5 0]

Hi Richard,

Sorry to hear you have had a hard time here in the US. Not to worry-you're not going to get any kind drivel out of me, because I haven't walked in your shoes. I am not going to defend anyone else's actions, simply because they're American, and I am too. I don't know where you live or with whom you've dealt with.

What I CAN say is this---Some people are horrible here, and on the other hand, some people are wonderful, and do indeed have a kind heart. I have found both types in my lifetime of living in NY , but I suppose this can be applied to ANYWHERE in the world. I tend to avoid the crude ones, and to deal only with the angels that walk amongst us in this world.

I wish you the best of luck, and hope you are happier in the UK.

Blessings to you, and May Only Good Things Come to You and Your Bride.

Rose