filing K3 before marriage

[khengool 0]

...As for the gentleman who spoke of the single fiance option and two marriage options, it's that kind of "gung-ho I bleed red white and blue hoo-aah if you don't like the rules getdaheckouttahere cuz you don't know what kinda freedom ye got here" mentality that worries me the most as I consider bringing my fiance to the USA. I was born and raised in the United States, I grew up watching GIJoe, and I wanted to work for the US government as i was growing up. I speak perfect english, I got straight A's at top flight universities in each and every class that required me to make heavy use of spoken and written english, I played baseball as a kid, and if you had to pick me out of a crowd you'd think i was as white as wonderbread, but even so I feel alienated at times by people like you. Congrats! Mission Accomplished!

You've read a lot more into what I wrote than was on the page. If you feel alienated, I assure you it is from an imagined source. I'm not a "should" person, so I don't tell others how they should feel or what they should do. None of my "feelings" were expressed by what I wrote. It was just straight talk. One option exists for fiance. Two exist for married people. The convenience you seek has not been addressed. Those are facts. I suggest you deal with them as facts, because complaining won't change them.

I'm with you. I don't like the limited options or the process but no amount of my complaining was going to change the process. So, I learned as much as I could about it and did everything I could think of to make our separation as short and pleasant as I was able. We were fortunate to have a relatively short process for a spouse from China. It was shorter than the timeline of many fiance visa couples. From the best I can tell, I can only take credit for not screwing things up but no credit for the short timeline.

Stick around for a while and you'll notice a lot of people here spending a lot of time (without compensation) helping others make their process as short as possible. It sounds like you'll be a beneficiary of some of that largess, so you might want to tone down the personal attacks on those here to help.

That was a very fair and well delivered message. I appreciate it and the work everyone on this site does to help out others.

[~Nini~ 2]

I have no problem with waiting, I have a problem with being penalized for having foresight and committing to marry someone before having lived with them. In my country and in many other countries, getting married or engaged isn't something that people are supposed to do to test the waters. Engagement is a firm commitment. The way the current K1 visa is set up seems to benefit those who would like to "feel out" their partner by living with them, which is totally fine and acceptable, but for some of us, this is not needed and is not an option we have based on our religion and culture.

Personally, I don't agree with you that a K1 is used solely for the purpose of "feeling" out a partner before marriage. Moreso, I find the K1 to benefit those couples that wish to be together before their marriage. I agree that perhaps under their culture they find it acceptable to live together before marriage, but it's not necessarily because they're indecisive about their choice for a lifetime partner. What with the amount of work we have to put in towards the K1, I would actually find it rather ridiculous that a couple use the visa solely to decide whether they want to be together for the rest of their lives.

I do understand where you're coming from. As you said, you've decided to commit to a lifetime relationship before living with your partner - and from a cultural perspective a K3 doesn't allow the leeway for that. Unfortunately, USCIS doesn't really put such cultural perspectives in priority - and not to say that there isn't room for improvement, either. But USCIS does offer a few choices, as pushbrk has mentioned. All you can really do is make the best decision from the options that you're given.

[C and J 1]

I have to agree with Pushbrk that the OP seems to want the visa process to bend to his individual requirements and, honestly, if we could all bend the process to our own requirements it would be instant and not the 10-month, long-haul, emotionally-painful thing that it currently is.

I don't see stating a religious requirement to marry before entering the States as a valid reason to try to "push in early" in the K3 queue, which is (in effect) what applying before marriage would be doing. Every day couples are making the decision to get married before the visa process begins, whether decided by their religion, their culture or by their own personal choices. None of those things should make one applicant more important than another.

You are asking to put yourself infront of all those people that are following the process as it is laid down and that irks me.

*steps off soapbox*

[pushbrk 12,824]

I have to agree with Pushbrk that the OP seems to want the visa process to bend to his individual requirements and, honestly, if we could all bend the process to our own requirements it would be instant and not the 10-month, long-haul, emotionally-painful thing that it currently is.

I don't see stating a religious requirement to marry before entering the States as a valid reason to try to "push in early" in the K3 queue, which is (in effect) what applying before marriage would be doing. Every day couples are making the decision to get married before the visa process begins, whether decided by their religion, their culture or by their own personal choices. None of those things should make one applicant more important than another.

You are asking to put yourself infront of all those people that are following the process as it is laid down and that irks me.

*steps off soapbox*

Sometimes people simply ask about things they would like to have. Often they don't know enough yet or haven't thought things through enough to realize how unfair to others, the granting of their desire might be. I doubt the OP is asking to to be put in front of anybody even though that is the (probably unintended) result of having their request granted.

I don't think the fiance visa process was set up for people to "try out" the partnership by living together before marriage. It was set up to accomodate those who wish to marry in the US. The logistics and living arrangements between arrival and marriage are up to the couple and family. People with traditional moral values deal with those logistics every day often, for instance when they meet at college and one partner needs to be separated from their family for some time before the wedding. I don't think the 90 days is intended as a trial period but simply a practical time period to arrange a simple marriage, get the certificate and file to adjust status. Of course there are some who use the time as a trial period intentionally or not, for whatever reasons. The process enables that by default, not by design, IMO.

Also, the existing fiance and spouse visa processes precede the modern internet dating scenarios etc, where it has become quite common for couples to decide to marry even before having lived in the same country or sometimes even met in person. (I refer to the decision, not the act, with respect to not meeting.) Those of us in those situations are left to choose among the available paths. Circumstances are the key to our delay in starting lives together, circumstances that were quite rare at the time the current visa processes and rules were put in place.

Before the last few years, the fiance visa process was used by people who met and courted more traditionally before deciding to marry and the spouse visa process was used by people who met and married abroad, and decided to relocate to the US. The arranged marriages and other long distance courting scenarios, now must fit themselves into a process that was not designed ideally for their circumstances. We naturally are wise to take responsibility for our own decisions in these matters rather than to expect any government bureauacracy to adjust to our decisions because bureauacracies just don't do that well.

[bszoom42 0]

I don't think the fiance visa process was set up for people to "try out" the partnership by living together before marriage. It was set up to accomodate those who wish to marry in the US.

I agree 100%. Without the K-1 Visa, there would be no reasonable way for my fiancee to come to the U.S. and marry me here. Sure, I could get married in India, but if most of my relatives are in the U.S., its better for everyone if the wedding is in the U.S.

[Nicole_Michel2007 0]

USCIS has not focused on catering to the whim and convenience of US Citizens but has provided a fiance(e) visa option and two marriage visa options. Take your choice. You asked a question and got an answer. It's a fact, not a spouse. The answer is not going to change because you complained about it.

Well put!

We should all be glad that there is an option for our fiances/husbands/families/children to be with us in the states. Whether your waiting 6 months or 6 years - in the end its all worth waiting for.

[pushbrk 12,824]

I do understand where you're coming from. As you said, you've decided to commit to a lifetime relationship before living with your partner - and from a cultural perspective a K3 doesn't allow the leeway for that. Unfortunately, USCIS doesn't really put such cultural perspectives in priority - and not to say that there isn't room for improvement, either. But USCIS does offer a few choices, as pushbrk has mentioned. All you can really do is make the best decision from the options that you're given.

On the contrary, both CR1 and K3 allow for committing to a lifetime relationship before living with your partner. You simply marry before you live with your partner. What the current USCIS K3 policies don't allow is filing the petition before you are married.

If you meant K1 instead of K3, the first part of the answer is the same. The fiance(e) is not required to live with their intended spouse before they are married. The visa just gets them in the same country.

Living together before marriage is a choice, not the requirement of any visa process.

[ApprovalPlease 0]

In the Hindsight I wish I did the K1 option before marriage. Back then I was under the impression the time difference between K1 and K3 is only a month or so. Hence I got married and that narrowed my options to either I130 or K3. I went with K3.

Not a whole lot of other options to choose. If you aren't married yet, based on the waittimes, I would suggest go with k1 if you don't like to wait. If you have to get married right away, then go with K3 and sit tight and help out people in this forum as much as possible till your wife arrives.

Either case ... good luck

[~Nini~ 2]

I do understand where you're coming from. As you said, you've decided to commit to a lifetime relationship before living with your partner - and from a cultural perspective a K3 doesn't allow the leeway for that. Unfortunately, USCIS doesn't really put such cultural perspectives in priority - and not to say that there isn't room for improvement, either. But USCIS does offer a few choices, as pushbrk has mentioned. All you can really do is make the best decision from the options that you're given.

On the contrary, both CR1 and K3 allow for committing to a lifetime relationship before living with your partner. You simply marry before you live with your partner. What the current USCIS K3 policies don't allow is filing the petition before you are married.

If you meant K1 instead of K3, the first part of the answer is the same. The fiance(e) is not required to live with their intended spouse before they are married. The visa just gets them in the same country.

Living together before marriage is a choice, not the requirement of any visa process.

Yes, I did mean a K1. My apologies - it was rather late when I posted that, and thanks for the clarification.