MENA Abuse Poll~~Please keep in MENA

[peezey 0]

Hi Everyone,

With all the speculation going on lately, I think some hard numbers would be helpful.

The poll is anonymous, so please answer truthfully.

You can choose all types of abuse that apply to you.

You can answer the poll without adding a comment.

The poll is asking about committed relationship/spousal abuse only.

[Ban Hammer 13,283]

good poll idea peezey

[allousa 1]

I actually feel bile rise up in my throat when I hear people mention the movie "Not Without My Daughter" to classify all Arab men and to describe how "abusive" they are. Grrrrrr...that makes me so angry!!!

For those people that say that, I ask them to look at the numbers of acts of domestic violence committed against women here in the States! You can look at almost every race and every culture and there are instances of abuse. This is not a "cultural" thing, but more of a "human" thing. IMO

[Aymerlu 3]

I actually feel bile rise up in my throat when I hear people mention the movie "Not Without My Daughter" to classify all Arab men and to describe how "abusive" they are. Grrrrrr...that makes me so angry!!!

For those people that say that, I ask them to look at the numbers of acts of domestic violence committed against women here in the States! You can look at almost every race and every culture and there are instances of abuse. This is not a "cultural" thing, but more of a "human" thing. IMO

God, if I had a dollar for each time I heard that....I'd be rich!!!! My first marriage resulted in physical, mental and sexual abuse, that last beating leaving me on the kitchen floor basically left for dead. I was in the hospital for about a month with head injuries, broken ribs and a pneumothorax from being stabbed in my right shoulder. Looking back I don't know why the hell I listened to my family when they told me I "had to work things out in this marriage" and that divorce would send me to hell. My son was 5 at the time and he saw it all although he does not mention any of it. He ws diagnosed with Autism a few years later and sometimes I wonder if this is some way his little mind delt with that night.

My husband has NEVER layed a hand on me in a harmful way or ever yelled at me. He knew where I stood on this way before we ever met. We talked about the abuse in relationships and how some men beat their wives and how it is more so accepted in Egypt. He never has approved of this. If my husband had of EVER yelled at me, belittled me, hit me, etc....HE WOULD NOT BE HERE NOW. There are NO EXCUSES for behavior like this.

I would personally love to see the numbers of abuse in any relationship. Why single out a group? I know a lot of women abused by american men that I do men from other countries.

Edited August 15, 2007 by Aymerlu

[allousa 1]

OMG, I am SSSSSSSSOOOOOOO sorry that you went through all of that. Be proud that you are a survivor!!! And be proud that you are speaking out to help other people too!

[mybackpages 0]

I actually feel bile rise up in my throat when I hear people mention the movie "Not Without My Daughter" to classify all Arab men and to describe how "abusive" they are. Grrrrrr...that makes me so angry!!!

For those people that say that, I ask them to look at the numbers of acts of domestic violence committed against women here in the States! You can look at almost every race and every culture and there are instances of abuse. This is not a "cultural" thing, but more of a "human" thing. IMO

Don;t forget to mention that it was also iranians who helped get her out. so if they want to latch on a stereotype why not Iranians has supporters of women in DV situations?

[Meriem_DZ 37]

My ex husband (non mena) developed a drinking problem and became totally different person than the one I married. He would call me the most foul names when he was drinking. In 2001 I had a accident that injured my back pretty bad and I gained a lot of weight because of inactivity. A couple years later, I worked very hard to exercise and lost about 60 lbs. Some of his friends told him that I was probably having an affair. Of course when he was drinking that is all I heard. He never hurt me except one time I was slapped. He walked off and I came up behind him, grabbed his shoulder, swung him around and socked him right in the nose. Blood went everywhere and needless to say, he never laid a hand on me again. I got tired of the verbal and mental abuse. So I left him.

My life now with Hachemi is how I always hoped for my marrige. I have a loving, attentive husband, that makes me feel like a queen. He came home the other day and hugged me and said, "I am so lucky." But, I think I am the lucky one.

Meriem

[sara535 15]

I totally agree, I beleive the statistics on American men who are abusive are truly alarming. Domestice violence doesnt seem to be bound by borders or cultures or religions....

[ya falaha! 0]

I feel awful for all the ladies who have had to deal with abusive relationships. Personally, I've never had a relationship that involved any kind of abuse (thank God!). My father was emotionally and at times physically abusive (not over the top though) to me as a child. I believe it was pent up anger that he had towards other adults (my mother included) that he took out on us kids. I vowed to never allow myself to be involved with a man who would be abusive to me or my children (whether physically, emotionally or sexually). If this ever happened I'd be out...no ifs ands or buts about it.

[doodlebug 3]

I was emotionally abused by my ex husband who was an Italian American but my Egyptian husband is the most mellow man I've ever known.

[sarah and hicham 3]

I think and hope that most women would leave a man who abuses them in a heartbeat. I know that there are always circumstances that probably most of us can't understand which would make a woman stay with or give another chance to an abuser.

I also have never been in a relationship with an abusive man, luckily, and like moody said I would hope that I would leave in a heartbeat.

[peezey 0]

I actually feel bile rise up in my throat when I hear people mention the movie "Not Without My Daughter" to classify all Arab men and to describe how "abusive" they are. Grrrrrr...that makes me so angry!!!

For those people that say that, I ask them to look at the numbers of acts of domestic violence committed against women here in the States! You can look at almost every race and every culture and there are instances of abuse. This is not a "cultural" thing, but more of a "human" thing. IMO

God, if I had a dollar for each time I heard that....I'd be rich!!!! My first marriage resulted in physical, mental and sexual abuse, that last beating leaving me on the kitchen floor basically left for dead. I was in the hospital for about a month with head injuries, broken ribs and a pneumothorax from being stabbed in my right shoulder. Looking back I don't know why the hell I listened to my family when they told me I "had to work things out in this marriage" and that divorce would send me to hell. My son was 5 at the time and he saw it all although he does not mention any of it. He ws diagnosed with Autism a few years later and sometimes I wonder if this is some way his little mind delt with that night.

My husband has NEVER layed a hand on me in a harmful way or ever yelled at me. He knew where I stood on this way before we ever met. We talked about the abuse in relationships and how some men beat their wives and how it is more so accepted in Egypt. He never has approved of this. If my husband had of EVER yelled at me, belittled me, hit me, etc....HE WOULD NOT BE HERE NOW. There are NO EXCUSES for behavior like this.

I would personally love to see the numbers of abuse in any relationship. Why single out a group? I know a lot of women abused by american men that I do men from other countries.

This is exactly the point for breaking out the groups. People use the NWMD movie as "proof" of something when in reality there is abuse everywhere. The point here isn't to indict arab men, it's to show THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE and abuse isn't cultural.

[allousa 1]

Peezy - I KNOW this is your point. I was just making a statement about how many times I have heard that movie come up to describe Arab men in general. I'm just reiterating your point. As a matter of fact, I think your poll, is showing that there are alot more instances of abuse in NON-Arab men. There's no argument here.

[peezey 0]

Peezy - I KNOW this is your point. I was just making a statement about how many times I have heard that movie come up to describe Arab men in general. I'm just reiterating your point. As a matter of fact, I think your poll, is showing that there are alot more instances of abuse in NON-Arab men. There's no argument here.

Uhhh, I was replying to the person I was replying to, not you, because she said why split the groups out. I only used NWMD since it's an easy reference for people and you reminded me of it.

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

So far, it ain't lookin' too complimentary for the **non**-MENA men.