Step Son Green Card

[Devarj 46]

Before I call an immigration lawyer, I figured I would ask this here.

In 2020 I (USC) filed an I130 for my stepson. Spouse is her on green card with a May Naturalization interview date. His visa was granted in 2024, and he came to the US in December 2024. No physical green card to date. Since then, he (just 15 years old) has been disobeying his paternal mother. Staying out late without permission. Locks himself in the room because he doesn’t want to be bothered. Often late for or misses classes and seldom does any household chores as asked and disrespects his mother sometimes to tears. We want to send him back to his home country to live with grandparents as he was doing before.

We both cannot deal with the daily arguing and he's not a good example for the younger children in the house.

Is there any legal action we have to take to send him back. He indicated he refuses to go back.

 

[Ontarkie 14,793]

~~Moved to Effects of Major Family Changes, from Off Topic- as similar threads are discussed here.~~

[appleblossom 3,786]

1 hour ago, Devarj said:

Before I call an immigration lawyer, I figured I would ask this here.

In 2020 I (USC) filed an I130 for my stepson. Spouse is her on green card with a May Naturalization interview date. His visa was granted in 2024, and he came to the US in December 2024. No physical green card to date. Since then, he (just 15 years old) has been disobeying his paternal mother. Staying out late without permission. Locks himself in the room because he doesn’t want to be bothered. Often late for or misses classes and seldom does any household chores as asked and disrespects his mother sometimes to tears. We want to send him back to his home country to live with grandparents as he was doing before.

We both cannot deal with the daily arguing and he's not a good example for the younger children in the house.

Is there any legal action we have to take to send him back. He indicated he refuses to go back.

 

 

Look at it from his point of view - he’s only just arrived in a foreign country. If his mother is able to naturalize soon then I’m guessing he’s not been living with her for several years so that’s a huge adjustment for both of them. He’s in a new school with a completely different education system. He’s left his friends, and everything familiar behind. The food is different. And he’s presumably got a stepfather to adjust to as well. That’s a heck of a lot for a kid to deal with, and a bit of understanding, empathy, time and communication may go a long way. 

 

I’m a mother of two teens and I get it, they can drive you insane sometimes, but it’s never occurred to me to try and kick them out of the country!

 

But in answer to your question, no they don’t take green cards away for teenagers being typical teenagers. 

Edited April 10 by appleblossom

[Ontarkie 14,793]

I'm sorry things have been difficult. You can try counseling for him. I'm sure some culture shock is also involved in his behavior. Yes you can move him back to his grandparents but if he won't get on that plane it's not like you can take him kicking and screaming. 

 

As a mother of 6, I would not send him to live with the grandparents. Nothing like telling a trouble kid he's not wanted. Start with therapy. 

[Boiler 46,790]

To answer your question

 

No

 

Sounds more like a Parenting issue not immigration 

[Devarj 46]

3 hours ago, Boiler said:

To answer your question

 

No

 

Sounds more like a Parenting issue not immigration 

Thanks for your response. I'm asking an immigration question. Not Parenting. I fully understand all the nuances of a kid growing up. My question: Is there any legal action we have to take to send him back? 

[Devarj 46]

5 hours ago, Ontarkie said:

I'm sorry things have been difficult. You can try counseling for him. I'm sure some culture shock is also involved in his behavior. Yes you can move him back to his grandparents but if he won't get on that plane it's not like you can take him kicking and screaming. 

 

As a mother of 6, I would not send him to live with the grandparents. Nothing like telling a trouble kid he's not wanted. Start with therapy. 

Thanks for the response

However, I'm not asking for parenting advice.

I fully understand all the nuances of a kid (father of 4) growing up. My question: Is there any legal action we have to take to send him back?

[Devarj 46]

6 hours ago, appleblossom said:

 

Look at it from his point of view - he’s only just arrived in a foreign country. If his mother is able to naturalize soon then I’m guessing he’s not been living with her for several years so that’s a huge adjustment for both of them. He’s in a new school with a completely different education system. He’s left his friends, and everything familiar behind. The food is different. And he’s presumably got a stepfather to adjust to as well. That’s a heck of a lot for a kid to deal with, and a bit of understanding, empathy, time and communication may go a long way. 

 

I’m a mother of two teens and I get it, they can drive you insane sometimes, but it’s never occurred to me to try and kick them out of the country!

 

But in answer to your question, no they don’t take green cards away for teenagers being typical teenagers. 

Thanks for your response. I'm asking an immigration question. Not Parenting. I fully understand all the nuances of a kid growing up (Father of 4). My question: Is there any legal action we have to take to send him back?

[Lemonslice 5,105]

4 minutes ago, Devarj said:

Thanks for the response

However, I'm not asking for parenting advice.

I fully understand all the nuances of a kid (father of 4) growing up. My question: Is there any legal action we have to take to send him back?

He has to cooperate somewhat.  The airline will not take an unwilling passenger.  

 

The "send him back" says it all though.  Wishing him the best of luck. 

[Lance27 30]

Honest question. What happens if some of your other kids start to do stuff you don't like? Would you look for ways to try deport them as well?

[Boiler 46,790]

I am not aware of anyway you could directly apply to an Immigration Court, so you would need ICE to take the case, which begs the question on what basis.

 

lets say they do it would be many years before the case was heard, and appeals tc he would have reached the age of majority.

 

But by then he would be a USC so he would need to be de naturalised.

 

Perhaps if he committed a felony before he naturalised?

[Ontarkie 14,793]

  He's a permanent resident nothing you can do about that. He may be a minor but that green card is his and his alone. You cannot take it away or stop it. It was done the minute he entered the US. Keeping his not yet CG away form him would also be illegal. The best thing for you to do immigration wise is get him US Citizenship by keeping in the US with his mother. Once she naturalizes he will be a USC. Right now if you try to get him on that plane and he doesn't get on it. Starts a scene or runs away you will be in a lot more trouble, more then you can even begin to imagine. 

 

I know you don't want parenting advice but honestly that is exactly what you need. You said you don't want the younger kids to pick up his bad habits.  I truly do understand about bad influences on the younger  kids, so I do get your worry. He needs time and talking, he is going through a huge adjustment. In the 5 yrs his mother was away how much time did she go back to spend with him? It really does sound like the two are practically strangers. It's barely 4 months since he arrived.

Edited April 11 by Ontarkie

[Stein 285]

OP, on the parenting side, I went through this when my wife's daughter came from Vietnam.  She didn't like school because she was still learning English and missed her friends.  Of course it was "easier" there.  She was also living with grandparents before my wife and I met so she only lived with us in Vietnam less than two years befofre moving to the US.  She came when she was 14.  She said back then that as soon as she finishes school she was moving back to Vietnam.  Well, four years later and she is well adjusted and doesn't want to move back any longer.  It's a tough age to be thrown into a move to the US.  He will be fine in a few years.

Edited April 11 by Stein