America's "Marriage Material" Shortage

[TBoneTX 46,233]

This isn't "new" news, but perhaps it's worth some comments here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

America's "Marriage Material" Shortage

 

https://www.msn.com/en-us/family-and-relationships/marriage/america-s-marriage-material-shortage/ar-AA1yk31z

[yuna628 9,733]

Well this somewhat old fashioned, anti social, high standards, didn't actually date in the traditional sense gal finds this article very insufferable. If people want to be single then I'd say in many cases this is a good thing because a lot of them these days don't seem to be ready in any form to be in a committed relationship. The tales of woe I've heard from recently divorced or soon to be divorced or those in a continual loop of failed relationships that I've known... one thing stands out - they or the partner had no business being in a relationship to begin with.

 

The author is talking about the notion of marriage as an insurance policy, what a strange way to think of a loving partnership. Women and men should have reasonable expectations and high standards. Having a relationship or getting married used to be tossed up as some important rite of passage to achieve satisfaction or favor, so that unreasonable expectations were placed upon it. One does not need to be married to be happy, one does not need to be alone to be happy, and one can be alone and be happy. One does not even need to be married to have children, though if you do my standards go even higher - because the suffering caused upon children due to their parent's selfish choices raise my ire.

 

[Ban Hammer 13,605]

Quote

In the past few decades, young and especially less educated men’s income has stagnated, even as women have charged into the workforce and seen their college-graduation rates soar. For single non-college-educated men, average inflation-adjusted earnings at age 45 have fallen by nearly 25 percent in the past half century, while for the country as a whole, average real earnings have more than doubled. As a result, “a lot of young men today just don’t look like what women have come to think of as ‘marriage material,’” he said.

in short, it's the man's fault.....

[hplusj 162]

On 2/5/2025 at 10:37 AM, yuna628 said:

If people want to be single then I'd say in many cases this is a good thing because a lot of them these days don't seem to be ready in any form to be in a committed relationship.

 

Honestly I think this is the crux of the issue and the bullet hole which gets not even a band-aid (or plaster, if you will) in the article.  
 

It tries to examine the situation but we’re talking about MSN news here.  For what it’s worth, the commentary on insurance remains historically accurate, even if it’s not relevant today.  I too consider myself fairly traditional and I mourn the fact that marriage is no longer considered a revered societal institution.  It’s a costly placeholder for ceremonial pomp and a bloviated industry that feasts on the pressures of tradition, even inventing new ones.

 

in the end we have civil unions with sequins, executed by grown people who have the EQ of children still.  Society(my) is killing marriage.

[hplusj 162]

Excuse me, I DO consider myself trad.  
 

and society(tm)

 

It won’t let me edit and autocorrect got me lol

Edited February 6 by hplusj

[Pooky 3,840]

Marriage - a one word sentence in the English language.

 

Remember, 44% of marriages end in divorce. Which means 56% of marriages end in death. ☠️

 

it’s all rather depressing, really. 🙁

[Ban Hammer 13,605]

1 hour ago, Pooky said:

Marriage - a one word sentence in the English language.

 

Remember, 44% of marriages end in divorce. Which means 56% of marriages end in death. ☠️

 

it’s all rather depressing, really. 🙁

marriage is an institution.  those who are married are said to be institutionalized.....

[TBoneTX 46,233]

Bigamy is having one wife too many.  Monogamy is the same thing.

Socrates died from an overdose of Wedlock.

[TBoneTX 46,233]

On 2/5/2025 at 10:37 AM, yuna628 said:

a lot of them these days don't seem to be ready in any form to be in a committed relationship

Two roots of this are:

 -- with so many broken homes, children have no model to observe and emulate; and

 -- we get more advice on how to buy a washing machine than we do on picking a mate.

[hplusj 162]

A radical thought to consider:  when the global elite wish to spark revolution in the masses, it is counterintuitive to placate them.  You want to destabilize them as much as possible.  

 

Here's a short list of plausible factors to the "marriage" issue in modern times, beyond what the article suggests (and TBone hitting the nail twice above me):

 

-the readily available porn industry and permissive sexualization in modern culture

-global information systems/media and the subsequent social skill decimation

-without pinning the cause, the undeniable rise in autism numbers which also lends itself to social skill challenges

-generational coddling and an unprecedented laissez-faire approach to parenting by those who raised current marriage-aged adults

-rejection/ignorance to the benefits of individualism that come from growing up; when "adulting" is a four letter word, one escews the positives along with the negatives

-a Western education system that molds efficient workers, and stymies personal growth focused on individualism and consequently, the purposeful approach to life that others would find attractive

-Feminism(tm), which is actually sex-based egalitarianism that flatlines the natural individualism that exists between men and women, once again killing potential attraction

-the Red Pillers(tm), scrapping trust in individuals and literally shooting themselves in the foot with the generalization of how the sexes behave in modern day

-the slow drain of creativity from leisure, as well as its centralization on solo activities

-activist movements that counteract focii on health, longevity, and fertility in the individual

-the heavy weight of life to be measured in happiness, instead of purpose and meaning

 

Plenty more, to be fair, but let's leave it there for now.

Edited February 7 by hplusj

[yuna628 9,733]

13 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

Two roots of this are:

 -- with so many broken homes, children have no model to observe and emulate; and

 -- we get more advice on how to buy a washing machine than we do on picking a mate.

 

I think coming from a broken home per say is a two-fold problem. Some people take coming from a broken home over-seriously and overcompensate in their own relationships. The friend we are helping through his divorce wanted to strive to have a good marriage for his kid, based on his experiences growing up in a divorced family. This left him significant blind spots to see what the wife was up to and issues dealing with the failure of his own marriage. On the flip side the wife seemed to be very traumatized and nearly inspired by her family's broken home, to the point that she seems to look at breaking her own marriage as nearly an afterthought and entirely inevitable.

 

I look at my own parents and as I've said before at times, even after 50+ years, they remain married but they are completely incompatible and do not particularly like one another most days. That has always put a strain on the family as a whole. But they never thought of divorce because of traditional reasons. Essentially, I looked to my grandparents as role models in that regard. My parents taught me (not intentionally) how people should not treat one another by example. If they treat each other one way it's a very good idea to do exactly the opposite! I'm thankful my husband is in a similar mindset about most things.

 

There are countless articles and books; or self help type stuff on love, sex, and marriage from just about every perspective you can think of. I don't think there's a lack of material advice. It's really very learned behavior. The examples our parents give can be helpful or detrimental. People out there got major issues these days and could really use humility and therapy if they weren't so prideful. Kids these days are a mess, but man.... sometimes I think some of the parents and even grandparents are worse.

Edited February 7 by yuna628

[TBoneTX 46,233]

We need more threads like this.  Lots of thoughtful input here.