Seeking a Green Card

[Crazy Cat 42,877]

I would not, under any circumstances, be alone with her.

[csh2020 47]

38 minutes ago, Crazy Cat said:

I would not take the bait.  This could be her play for a VAWA claim.  I would conduct all communication through your divorce attorney.

I'm just curious and learning. How do immigrants know about VAWA? I really think that is what this is. Again, thanks for VJ for educating me on this; otherwise, I would not have any idea and would probably agree to see her.

[MalloryCat 447]

word of mouth

a very easy google search would bring it up

its not like its a thing hidden by USCIS

the vawa act has been around since 1994

[OldUser 8,349]

1 hour ago, csh2020 said:

I even told her that if she will tell me where she is living/working, I will consider dropping the divorce and working toward reconciliation.

This is a mistake. Talking to her is a mistake.

 

1 hour ago, csh2020 said:

If she loves me then she will prove it by telling me where she is staying and working. She would not.

 

Are you aware that to an outsider, such as USCIS officer, this may look like stalking? She wants you to give her answers you're giving that she will use in her VAWA claim. E.g. "I wasn't safe, he insisted on getting to know my physical location, trying to push me to stay with him".

 

Just cut all communication. In all honesty, the more this chat, ultimatims etc continues, the more she would look like a legitimate VAWA victim...

Edited March 14 by OldUser

[csh2020 47]

19 minutes ago, OldUser said:

This is a mistake. Talking to her is a mistake.

 

 

Are you aware that to an outsider, such as USCIS officer, this may look like stalking? She wants you to give her answers you're giving that she will use in her VAWA claim. E.g. "I wasn't safe, he insisted on getting to know my physical location, trying to push me to stay with him".

 

Just cut all communication. In all honesty, the more this chat, ultimatims etc continues, the more she would look like a legitimate VAWA victim...

I just told her no. I don't want to see her. She said, bye and she will sign the papers. Okay. I just have to remain firm. 

[OldUser 8,349]

1 minute ago, csh2020 said:

I just told her no. I don't want to see her. She said, bye and she will sign the papers. Okay. I just have to remain firm. 

I can only imagine how hard it is, but it's for the best. Nothing good is going to come up from you meeting face to face.

[Edward and Jaycel 1,014]

1 minute ago, csh2020 said:

I just told her no. I don't want to see her. She said, bye and she will sign the papers. Okay. I just have to remain firm. 

 

Yes... remain firm. For your daughter and, equally as important, for yourself. I know it's all been a terrible thing but look at it like this; you have to play the hand that SHE dealt you to the best outcome possible for you. And you don't want to try to get dealt a new hand because she's dealing from the bottom of the deck.

[csh2020 47]

Just now, OldUser said:

I can only imagine how hard it is, but it's for the best. Nothing good is going to come up from you meeting face to face.

Saying no is one of the hardest things I've had to do in my life because I truly love this woman. But I just have too much to lose, my job as a teacher, my 15-year-old daughter, my life. I can't replace those things. A woman who cannot tell me where she is working/staying and willing to lie to the government about her address, place or origin (Nicaragua for TPS purposes instead of Costar Rica) is one who is quite capable of a lot. It's also interesting that she never texts me at all but over the past three days, the texts have been machine gun one after the other in increments. 

[csh2020 47]

4 minutes ago, Edward and Jaycel said:

 

Yes... remain firm. For your daughter and, equally as important, for yourself. I know it's all been a terrible thing but look at it like this; you have to play the hand that SHE dealt you to the best outcome possible for you. And you don't want to try to get dealt a new hand because she's dealing from the bottom of the deck.

What does she stand to gain by building a VAWA? Educate me because I do not understand. People don't do things unless there is something in it for them. I can't see her as a spiteful person. She has to have something in it for herself. 

[Crazy Cat 42,877]

3 minutes ago, csh2020 said:

What does she stand to gain by building a VAWA?

A Green Card.  Since you have withdrawn the I-130 and filed for divorce, that is her next avenue for legal status.

Edited March 14 by Crazy Cat

[Edward and Jaycel 1,014]

5 minutes ago, csh2020 said:

What does she stand to gain by building a VAWA? Educate me because I do not understand. People don't do things unless there is something in it for them. I can't see her as a spiteful person. She has to have something in it for herself. 

Right now she needs you and the marriage to you in order to get her green card. If she can claim VAWA (that she was a victim of abuse by you) she no longer needs you to get the GC. She can claim that she entered into the marriage with a US Citizen (You) in good faith, she was then the victim of abuse by you and because of that she can file for a GC under VAWA.

Edited March 14 by Edward and Jaycel

[OldUser 8,349]

12 minutes ago, csh2020 said:

What does she stand to gain by building a VAWA? Educate me because I do not understand. People don't do things unless there is something in it for them. I can't see her as a spiteful person. She has to have something in it for herself. 

Effectively, right now you're helping her to build a VAWA case. Which is her way to get GC and stay in the US without you being married to her.

Edited March 14 by OldUser

[TBoneTX 46,567]

Brother, knock it off.  NO personal contact -- NONE.  NO answering calls or texts.  ZERO.  The very next instance when you fail to follow this advice could prove perilous, as stated by everyone here.

[SL2024 175]

Let your lawyer do the talking

[W199 382]

As others have said, you should cease all communications, and do all divorce negotiations through your attorney.

 

To help prevent her from harming other USC, you can try to collect proof, and tell USCIS them about the bribe she offered you. Though with no proof, it may not help. But it won't hurt you. In fact, it can protect your USCIS reputation in that you are not selling a GC.  Again, everything except withdrawing the I-130 won't help, but I don't think it will hurt to try. But it may be fruitless. 

 

If you have medical insurance, you should see a therapist ASAP to understand why you think you love despite knowing nothing about her for the most part, not to mention being abused and manipulated by her.  Repeat, see a therapist ASAP, if for no other reasons to help deal with the divorce trauma and even bring your daughter.  Even though you may be a therapist for others, you can't treat yourself.

 

 

Edited March 14 by W199