Seeking a Green Card

[csh2020 50]

3 hours ago, W199 said:

As others have said, you should cease all communications, and do all divorce negotiations through your attorney.

 

To help prevent her from harming other USC, you can try to collect proof, and tell USCIS them about the bribe she offered you. Though with no proof, it may not help. But it won't hurt you. In fact, it can protect your USCIS reputation in that you are not selling a GC.  Again, everything except withdrawing the I-130 won't help, but I don't think it will hurt to try. But it may be fruitless. 

 

If you have medical insurance, you should see a therapist ASAP to understand why you think you love despite knowing nothing about her for the most part, not to mention being abused and manipulated by her.  Repeat, see a therapist ASAP, if for no other reasons to help deal with the divorce trauma and even bring your daughter.  Even though you may be a therapist for others, you can't treat yourself.

 

 

Thank you so much for the advice but frankly, I'm not concerned with my USCIS reputation because I won't be sponsoring any more immigrants for two reasons. First, it's highly doubtful that I will marry again and second, I'm really only open to American citizens when I'm ready to date again. 

[mniceguy16 198]

9 hours ago, csh2020 said:

I'm just curious and learning. How do immigrants know about VAWA? I really think that is what this is. Again, thanks for VJ for educating me on this; otherwise, I would not have any idea and would probably agree to see her.

Ok, to answer your question real quick, Me being an immigrant, on My visa interview day in Kyiv, Ukraine, the CO took out time and asked Me if I knew what was vawa and if I read about it, so yeah Vawa is openly explained to all intending immigrants, your soon to be ex spouse has some coaches so she must know about vawa by now, reason why she is trying to keep texting you that you yelled at her and her only wanting to meet in public, those are antics of someone building a vawa case.

Edited March 15 by mniceguy16

[csh2020 50]

8 hours ago, mniceguy16 said:

Ok, to answer your question real quick, Me being an immigrant, on My visa interview day in Kyiv, Ukraine, the CO took out time and asked Me if I knew what was vawa and if I read about it, so yeah Vawa is openly explained to all intending immigrants, your soon to be ex spouse has some coaches so she must know about vawa by now, reason why she is trying to keep texting you that you yelled at her and her only wanting to meet in public, those are antics of someone building a vawa case.

What you are saying is sobering. I was wondering why she tried so aggressively yesterday to get me to meet with her. She never texts me but then she was texting nonstop from about 2pm until about 7pm trying to persuade me to meet with her. The strange thing was that she would not accept meeting in public. It had to be at home. She was using every excuse in the book by saying things like she wants to see me one last time before she leaves for good (she supposedly has a ticket waiting on her), promising intimacy, and then saying she could come to sign papers. I told her to meet me at UPS to sign in front of a notary. She refused by only agreeing to meet at the house. She said that she could either spent the night or leave after saying proper goodbyes.  After being told no, she said she was coming anyway. I told her it would be a wasted trip because I wouldn't be home. I told her I would be out working, which was true. I do some independent work on the side, so I keep myself busy. It had me stressed because I had no idea why this odd behavior. In either case, I got home later and spent the night at home. Didn't hear anything else. 

It was very odd because this aggressive behavior was coming from the same woman who avoided me for months. She said she had a lawyer and would leave the papers signed with him before leaving. 

[appleblossom 3,599]

31 minutes ago, csh2020 said:

What you are saying is sobering. I was wondering why she tried so aggressively yesterday to get me to meet with her. She never texts me but then she was texting nonstop from about 2pm until about 7pm trying to persuade me to meet with her. The strange thing was that she would not accept meeting in public. It had to be at home. She was using every excuse in the book by saying things like she wants to see me one last time before she leaves for good (she supposedly has a ticket waiting on her), promising intimacy, and then saying she could come to sign papers. I told her to meet me at UPS to sign in front of a notary. She refused by only agreeing to meet at the house. She said that she could either spent the night or leave after saying proper goodbyes.  After being told no, she said she was coming anyway. I told her it would be a wasted trip because I wouldn't be home. I told her I would be out working, which was true. I do some independent work on the side, so I keep myself busy. It had me stressed because I had no idea why this odd behavior. In either case, I got home later and spent the night at home. Didn't hear anything else. 

It was very odd because this aggressive behavior was coming from the same woman who avoided me for months. She said she had a lawyer and would leave the papers signed with him before leaving. 

 

Textbook for somebody trying to build a VAWA case I’m afraid. She’d have turned up, then with just you and her there and no witnesses, claimed you were physically or mentally abusive to her. Whatever you do, DON’T meet her alone at any point, ideally don’t meet her at all even in public. As said above, leave it all to your lawyer now and cut off all contact.

 

Best of luck to you, I hope you and your daughter can move forward and find happiness.

[OldUser 8,432]

3 hours ago, csh2020 said:

What you are saying is sobering. I was wondering why she tried so aggressively yesterday to get me to meet with her. She never texts me but then she was texting nonstop from about 2pm until about 7pm trying to persuade me to meet with her. The strange thing was that she would not accept meeting in public. It had to be at home. She was using every excuse in the book by saying things like she wants to see me one last time before she leaves for good (she supposedly has a ticket waiting on her), promising intimacy, and then saying she could come to sign papers. I told her to meet me at UPS to sign in front of a notary. She refused by only agreeing to meet at the house. She said that she could either spent the night or leave after saying proper goodbyes.  After being told no, she said she was coming anyway. I told her it would be a wasted trip because I wouldn't be home. I told her I would be out working, which was true. I do some independent work on the side, so I keep myself busy. It had me stressed because I had no idea why this odd behavior. In either case, I got home later and spent the night at home. Didn't hear anything else. 

It was very odd because this aggressive behavior was coming from the same woman who avoided me for months. She said she had a lawyer and would leave the papers signed with him before leaving. 

Yep, if she never called police on you, that was probably her plan. Come to your place without a witness, provoke and call cops on you to help her VAWA. Glad you didn't fall for it.

Edited March 15 by OldUser

[W199 382]

There are a long list of manipulative tactics that she could have been planning. It depends on how clever, stupid, desperate, or cruel, etc she is.  For all you know, she is being manipulated herself through crazy gang or a crazy bf, and had a sick plan for you to die “accidentally” through a “heart attack” with antifreeze (lol, just saw that case on Dateline on tv) so she can get her gc and then sponsor her real bf and family.

 

Or simple sexual manipulation for swaying the divorce judgement in her favor, pregnancy, etc 

 

The point is, why do you care or wonder so much why she wanted to come over.  You knew it was for benefit and games to further take advantage of you, you need to simply report/email/documejt this and any other moves from her it to your lawyer and move on… . And your lawyer needs to order a deposition to either uncover her dirt for the divorce or get her to perjure herself so she can be held in contempt.

 

and  Therapist!!!

 

[mniceguy16 198]

10 hours ago, csh2020 said:

What you are saying is sobering. I was wondering why she tried so aggressively yesterday to get me to meet with her. She never texts me but then she was texting nonstop from about 2pm until about 7pm trying to persuade me to meet with her. The strange thing was that she would not accept meeting in public. It had to be at home. She was using every excuse in the book by saying things like she wants to see me one last time before she leaves for good (she supposedly has a ticket waiting on her), promising intimacy, and then saying she could come to sign papers. I told her to meet me at UPS to sign in front of a notary. She refused by only agreeing to meet at the house. She said that she could either spent the night or leave after saying proper goodbyes.  After being told no, she said she was coming anyway. I told her it would be a wasted trip because I wouldn't be home. I told her I would be out working, which was true. I do some independent work on the side, so I keep myself busy. It had me stressed because I had no idea why this odd behavior. In either case, I got home later and spent the night at home. Didn't hear anything else. 

It was very odd because this aggressive behavior was coming from the same woman who avoided me for months. She said she had a lawyer and would leave the papers signed with him before leaving. 

To begin, I am so proud of you for going this far to protect yourself and daughter. Even if she would have been intimate with you yesterday, she could call the cops and claim you forced yourself on her. What "proper" goodbye does she wanna say after disappearing for 2 months? She has no plans on going back, she simply wants to make you believe she is gone because she knows she is not getting her way this time. I am glad you found this site. I found it at the start of my journey 8 years ago and almost 3 years after being a citizen, I still stick around because this site has more helpful information more than some attorneys will ever have. I really wish you the best in your next steps in finding peace and stability.

[csh2020 50]

On 3/15/2025 at 6:20 PM, mniceguy16 said:

To begin, I am so proud of you for going this far to protect yourself and daughter. Even if she would have been intimate with you yesterday, she could call the cops and claim you forced yourself on her. What "proper" goodbye does she wanna say after disappearing for 2 months? She has no plans on going back, she simply wants to make you believe she is gone because she knows she is not getting her way this time. I am glad you found this site. I found it at the start of my journey 8 years ago and almost 3 years after being a citizen, I still stick around because this site has more helpful information more than some attorneys will ever have. I really wish you the best in your next steps in finding peace and stability.

UPDATE: Thank you all for your words of encouragement and, quite frankly, without VJ, I may have stepped into a trap of a person who may or may not be trying to formulate a VAWA (something I would have never known had it not been for VJ). She was served with divorce papers, and we are no longer corresponding. I haven't heard anything from her. My lawyer said that she will have to be contacted regarding a court date, but he may be able to send it to her last known address at best. At worst, we may have to run a publication for 30 days, which will cost more money. 

 

The local church and I met yesterday, and they unanimously approved my remaining. They said they did not trust her from the beginning, and they see it as I have "righted a wrong." Much to my surprise, they are actually supporting this divorce. 

 

I did petition to withdraw the I-130 a little over a month ago and I went into to the case status with the IOE number, but it is not showing as updated from December (showing case received). I don't know if there is anything else I can do other than just wait it out. I only sent the I-130 and nothing else. So, I only assuming that it will drop automatically anyway. I can't be stressed over UCSIS because I'm just wanting to walk away from this entire mess and move on with my life. 

[TBoneTX 46,639]

1 hour ago, csh2020 said:

The local church and I met yesterday, and they unanimously approved my remaining. They said they did not trust her from the beginning, and they see it as I have "righted a wrong." Much to my surprise, they are actually supporting this divorce. 

Such wonderful news!  See?  The letters in the word "FEAR" stand for False Evidence Appearing Real.

1 hour ago, csh2020 said:

I'm just wanting to walk away from this entire mess and move on with my life. 

Good man.  So thrilled for you!

[csh2020 50]

On 3/24/2025 at 10:44 AM, TBoneTX said:

Such wonderful news!  See?  The letters in the word "FEAR" stand for False Evidence Appearing Real.

Good man.  So thrilled for you!

Thank you all so much for your help through this. Not only is this forum therapeutic, but it is helping me to avoid potential pitfalls. She texted me yesterday asking for my lawyer's number and was saying that she has a lawyer and that she is going to court. I contacted my lawyer and was told that, until they hear from her lawyer, we will proceed along the timeline (no response in 30 days, it goes toward default). They said that people say they have lawyers all the time but it is just a bluff. I'm tired of dealing with the games and I asked if I should just go ahead and call ICE but was told that I should wait because it could somehow backfire on me. How is calling ICE backfiring when she literally committed immigration fraud?

 

Her Tik Tok showed up on my email. She has a picture of a pregnancy stick showing positive. It is real because it is on her bed (I recognize the blanket). Nothing was written. Just the picture and no comments. I'm quite concerned that she is going to try and claim that it is mine but that is impossible because we haven't had intimacy since December and even then it wasn't full intimacy (I won't disclose details). She has been out of the home since mid-January (who knows where she has been or what she has been doing). This is relevant because she tried to say she was pregnant back early December when we were still together after telling me that she could not have kids. Her youngest son is 18 and she had the operation when he was born, according to her. I was questioning even then because she was spending the largest percentage of time away from me and we were barely intimate and not even full on intimacy. As I could predict, she was negative as per her doctor. (What went through my mind at that time, even then, was "anchor baby"). But now she is suddenly posting a positive pregnancy stick? Statistically it is impossible and even so, it cannot be mine.

 

On top of that, she is claiming that I am aggressive and yelled at her, pushed her, etc. None of it is true. No evidence.

 

My question is what would happen if I just go ahead and report her to ICE? I'm not a vengeful person, I'm just trying to protect myself and my daughter from a woman who apparently will stop at nothing to stay in this country.

 

I'm screenshotting all correspondence before blocking her because after you block someone, you can no longer access the texts. I just don't need any more of the stress because I was fine until she texted yesterday.

Edited 10 hours ago by csh2020

[Crazy Cat 42,958]

5 minutes ago, csh2020 said:

On top of that, she is claiming that I am aggressive and yelled at her, pushed her, etc

and thus, the VAWA claims begin.....just as we predicted.

Edited 10 hours ago by Crazy Cat

[csh2020 50]

1 minute ago, Crazy Cat said:

and thus, the VAWA claims begin.....

No proof. No evidence. No pictures. No police. Nothing but her claims. That is the reason that I did not allow her back into the house three weeks ago. And if she claims that then I can show them texts of her begging to spend the night (which was a set up).

So, I'm trying to beat the temptation of reporting her for immigration fraud. I'm tired of this and I don't need her signature.

[appleblossom 3,599]

4 minutes ago, Crazy Cat said:

and thus, the VAWA claims begin.....

 

Yep, so predictable. 

 

@csh2020 I'm so glad you’re remaining strong, and so glad that you have a route to getting your life back now - at least now there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Just because the pregnancy test is on her bed doesn’t meant it’s hers. And is probably just photoshopped anyway! But if the baby cannot be yours then it’s not relevant anyway regardless. 

 

Blocking her is a sensible idea, maybe with one last text to say ‘speak through my lawyer only, I won’t be responding further’ just so she knows it will be pointless to try and provoke you further. And normally I would say don’t bother with reporting her, but actually she’s been so calculating that I think it may be a good idea in this instance. You would usually need her address though and it doesn’t sound as though you have that. 

Edited 10 hours ago by appleblossom

[csh2020 50]

4 minutes ago, appleblossom said:

 

Yep, so predictable. 

 

@csh2020 I'm so glad you’re remaining strong, and so glad that you have a route to getting your life back now - at least now there is a light at the end of the tunnel. 

 

Blocking her is a sensible idea, maybe with one last text to say ‘speak through my lawyer only, I won’t be responding further’ just so she knows it will be pointless to try and provoke you further. And normally I would say don’t bother with reporting her, but actually she’s been so calculating that I think it may be a good idea in this instance. You would need her address though and it doesn’t sound as though you have that. 

Well the fact that she is still using my address is grounds enough for her to be deported. I will tell them that she has been out of the home since mid-January and I don't where she is though she is continuing to use my address.

 

I'm truly considering reporting her. My lawyer fears that is could backfire. I'm not sure how. I have evidence upon evidence including her offering me 3000.

Edited 10 hours ago by csh2020

[csh2020 50]

7 minutes ago, appleblossom said:

 

Yep, so predictable. 

 

@csh2020 I'm so glad you’re remaining strong, and so glad that you have a route to getting your life back now - at least now there is a light at the end of the tunnel. 

 

Blocking her is a sensible idea, maybe with one last text to say ‘speak through my lawyer only, I won’t be responding further’ just so she knows it will be pointless to try and provoke you further. And normally I would say don’t bother with reporting her, but actually she’s been so calculating that I think it may be a good idea in this instance. You would need her address though and it doesn’t sound as though you have that. 

What is interesting is about two hours before she supposedly "lawyered up", she sent a picture of some things at a store (backpack, etc) and asked me to buy them for her. My attorney's office said the fact that she used the phrase, "I'm going to court" is a dead giveaway that she probably doesn't have a lawyer because people don't go to court. They go to mediation. I would be surprised if she goes to court because of her immigration status unless she actually thinks having a SSN card and a work permit somehow grants her residency. My guess is that, if she does actually have a lawyer, then it is a friend of a friend calling himself a lawyer, as happens so often in the underground illegal immigrant community. They operate outside the system anyway. Sorry to vent. Just tired of the nonsense. I was the one defrauded and it continues.