Seeking a Green Card

[appleblossom 3,418]

36 minutes ago, csh2020 said:

She is talking about coming home. Is she is doing that then where is the logic in her coming home? I don't understand that part? It also doesn't make sense the sudden change of heart once she gets her documents as to why she wants to come home. 

 

I don’t think you understand - without a valid marriage to you, she has no way to stay in the US unless her asylum is granted (unlikely). I think she’s suddenly realised that and that’s why the sudden change of heart. You really are far too trusting if you think that her intentions are genuine in any way at all. 

 

 

[csh2020 26]

1 minute ago, appleblossom said:

 

I don’t think you understand - without a valid marriage to you, she has no way to stay in the US unless her asylum is granted (unlikely). I think she’s suddenly realised that and that’s why the sudden change of heart. You really are far too trusting if you think that her intentions are genuine in any way at all. 

 

 

Even with an EAD/SSN Card? I guess I still don't understand the asylum process. But why the sudden change of heart just as she gets her cards? It seems convenient and makes no sense. 

[appleblossom 3,418]

Just now, csh2020 said:

Even with an EAD/SSN Card? I guess I still don't understand the asylum process. But why the sudden change of heart just as she gets her cards? It seems convenient and makes no sense. 

 

Yes, even with those. They aren’t relevant to her getting a green card. 

 

And as said above, the change of heart will be because she’ll have just realised that she’s given up her only realistic chance of a green card. And because she wants to come home to build her VAWA case with a bunch of false allegations against you. She will struggle to do that from a distance. 

[Crazy Cat 42,692]

1 minute ago, csh2020 said:

Even with an EAD/SSN Card?

Those confer absolutely no immigration consent or rights.

[Ontarkie 14,636]

12 minutes ago, csh2020 said:

Even with an EAD/SSN Card? I guess I still don't understand the asylum process. But why the sudden change of heart just as she gets her cards? It seems convenient and makes no sense. 

Yes even with her EAD. 

 

I know your lawyer knows nothing about immigration and he/she is taking too long to get this done. The lawyer gave you bad advice more than once regarding immigration. Like not to withdraw or notify Immigration of the pending divorce. 

Please tell us you did in fact send the letter to withdraw her AOS? I know I asked but I'm not sure what part you answered yes too. 

[Ontarkie 14,636]

I'm am glad you found this site, and glad we can offer some advice. It is sad that many of us have seen similar scenarios and why we are all telling you the same thing.  It happens far too often, and men and women like you fall prey to ppl like her. She will bring on the big crocodile tears, beg you for forgiveness anything to make you feel bad. Anything to get back into the house with you or just keep stringing you along to have you continue to get her that GC. Exactly like she is doing to you now. She thinks because those came in soon she will get the GC. She doesn't know you sent in the letter to withdraw. When she finds out it will get ugly.

 

You are so worried about her getting deported even after getting her SSN and EAD. You need to close your heart off, you are not protecting yourself enough. Get angry, get upset, get mad and stomp up and down. Close off your heart to her. I'm not saying go make her life a living (you know). I'm saying back away, and let her chips fall where they fall. Serve those divorce papers, and get far away from her. Block her number, before you lose more then your job and housing. 

 

 

Edited 19 hours ago by Ontarkie

[csh2020 26]

16 hours ago, Ontarkie said:

I'm am glad you found this site, and glad we can offer some advice. It is sad that many of us have seen similar scenarios and why we are all telling you the same thing.  It happens far too often, and men and women like you fall prey to ppl like her. She will bring on the big crocodile tears, beg you for forgiveness anything to make you feel bad. Anything to get back into the house with you or just keep stringing you along to have you continue to get her that GC. Exactly like she is doing to you now. She thinks because those came in soon she will get the GC. She doesn't know you sent in the letter to withdraw. When she finds out it will get ugly.

 

You are so worried about her getting deported even after getting her SSN and EAD. You need to close your heart off, you are not protecting yourself enough. Get angry, get upset, get mad and stomp up and down. Close off your heart to her. I'm not saying go make her life a living (you know). I'm saying back away, and let her chips fall where they fall. Serve those divorce papers, and get far away from her. Block her number, before you lose more then your job and housing. 

 

 

Thank you Ontarkie. Some of the things you said really made me think because it fits with the things that she has been saying. Yesterday, as I was working out, I got a text from her saying that she is really sick (bleeding in pain) and if I could take her to the doctor and for her to spend the night tonight and go back tomorrow (supposedly she is 2 hours away). (It's convenient for her to be sick after machine gun texting about coming home all evening). When she made that request, the only thing I could think of is what you had said about her trying to set up a VAWA. I had to go fully stoic, and I sent her a screenshot of the insurance card and told her to take herself and that I will see her Monday (when I plan to have her served with the divorce papers). Of course, she responded as one could imagine. Guilt tripping. But I ignored her. Stayed the course and said that I will see her Monday. Yes, I've got to shut off the emotions and get this done or my daughter and I both could end up paying a price. I'm pretty much done. Like I said, I'm exhausted with it and tired of this game. It's getting boring really fast. 

Edited 6 hours ago by csh2020

[Ontarkie 14,636]

5 hours ago, csh2020 said:

Thank you Ontarkie. Some of the things you said really made me think because it fits with the things that she has been saying. Yesterday, as I was working out, I got a text from her saying that she is really sick (bleeding in pain) and if I could take her to the doctor and for her to spend the night tonight and go back tomorrow (supposedly she is 2 hours away). (It's convenient for her to be sick after machine gun texting about coming home all evening). When she made that request, the only thing I could think of is what you had said about her trying to set up a VAWA. I had to go fully stoic, and I sent her a screenshot of the insurance card and told her to take herself and that I will see her Monday (when I plan to have her served with the divorce papers). Of course, she responded as one could imagine. Guilt tripping. But I ignored her. Stayed the course and said that I will see her Monday. Yes, I've got to shut off the emotions and get this done or my daughter and I both could end up paying a price. I'm pretty much done. Like I said, I'm exhausted with it and tired of this game. It's getting boring really fast. 

You're welcome, I was worried I was too harsh. It sucks I know but you did do the right thing. If she is two hours away and needs to be seen by a doctor. She needed to go to the nearest place. It was good to send her a copy of the insurance card. She won't be able to use that against you. 

Shutting off your heart is the hardest thing ever. I've had to do that with my ex. He was very toxic and at the end violent. I already made up my mind at that point but it was still hard. If he stayed with me I would have lost my kids. It sucks and it hurts but you did good. Now time to keep yourself busy, have a plan set of replies you want to use to keep her thinking nothing is wrong and you're just super busy. Fingers crossed for you on Monday.