Seeking a Green Card

[csh2020 18]

We met yesterday. She showed up with a Valentine's gift and telling me that she loves me. However, she says that she will come home when she has an appointment scheduled with USCIS because that will give her the security of not being deported. She states that she does not feel safe being home because she thinks I might call ICE. I explained that it isn't even an issue because her parole stamp/asylum petition makes it less likely that they would even pick her up anyway and besides, I'm not that kind of person. The issues here go beyond immigration - they are trust and communication - neither of which is present. 

 

 

[Edward and Jaycel 795]

16 minutes ago, csh2020 said:

We met yesterday. She showed up with a Valentine's gift and telling me that she loves me. However, she says that she will come home when she has an appointment scheduled with USCIS because that will give her the security of not being deported. She states that she does not feel safe being home because she thinks I might call ICE. I explained that it isn't even an issue because her parole stamp/asylum petition makes it less likely that they would even pick her up anyway and besides, I'm not that kind of person. The issues here go beyond immigration - they are trust and communication - neither of which is present. 

 

 

 

You should have had her served with the divorce papers when you met yesterday

[Crazy Cat 42,572]

1 hour ago, csh2020 said:

We met yesterday. She showed up with a Valentine's gift and telling me that she loves me. However, she says that she will come home when she has an appointment scheduled with USCIS because that will give her the security of not being deported. She states that she does not feel safe being home because she thinks I might call ICE. I explained that it isn't even an issue because her parole stamp/asylum petition makes it less likely that they would even pick her up anyway and besides, I'm not that kind of person. The issues here go beyond immigration - they are trust and communication - neither of which is present. 

 

 

 

I see now that I can offer no help in your situation.  You continue to let her chip away at your common sense.  You should have had her served yesterday.  You are being manipulated.  I wish you well, but I can offer no more help. 

Edited Tuesday at 04:49 PM by Crazy Cat

[Edward and Jaycel 795]

1 hour ago, csh2020 said:

We met yesterday. She showed up with a Valentine's gift and telling me that she loves me. However, she says that she will come home when she has an appointment scheduled with USCIS because that will give her the security of not being deported. She states that she does not feel safe being home because she thinks I might call ICE. I explained that it isn't even an issue because her parole stamp/asylum petition makes it less likely that they would even pick her up anyway and besides, I'm not that kind of person. The issues here go beyond immigration - they are trust and communication - neither of which is present. 

 

 

I’m sorry if this seems blunt, but with this last post it has to be asked… Did you send the withdrawal request for the I-130 to USCIS?

[appleblossom 3,339]

15 minutes ago, Crazy Cat said:

 

I see now that I can offer no help in your situation.  You continue to let her chip away at your common sense.  You should have had her served yesterday.  You are being manipulated.  I wish you well, but I can offer no more help. 

 

Agreed. As everybody has said, she’s very clearly trying to line things up for a VAWA case. I cannot understand why the OP is continuing to allow her to manipulate him and to dictate everything.

 

I hope the OP has cancelled the I-130. And she should be served with divorce papers asap. 

 

[appleblossom 3,339]

2 hours ago, csh2020 said:

The issues here go beyond immigration

 

The only issue is immigration, as that’s all she cares about. I know it’s hard to see the reality when you’re in the midst of it, but from what you’ve said she’s clearly never loved you and only loved the green card you could have given her. 

[csh2020 18]

30 minutes ago, Crazy Cat said:

 

I see now that I can offer no help in your situation.  You continue to let her chip away at your common sense.  You should have had her served yesterday.  You are being manipulated.  I wish you well, but I can offer no more help. 

The only reason that I am meeting with her on Mondays is that I am trying to keep her coming back so that I can get her served. I have an appointment with my attorney this week and I have waited until I can pay his retainer fee. If she stops coming, then it will become more complicated to get her served. That is the only reason. I understand that I look like I have no common sense but, in fact, it is a strategy. 

[Crazy Cat 42,572]

1 minute ago, csh2020 said:

The only reason that I am meeting with her on Mondays is that I am trying to keep her coming back so that I can get her served. I have an appointment with my attorney this week and I have waited until I can pay his retainer fee. If she stops coming, then it will become more complicated to get her served. That is the only reason. I understand that I look like I have no common sense but, in fact, it is a strategy. 

OK.  Good luck.  I hope you can find happiness for yourself. 

[csh2020 18]

The reason for the hesitancy is waiting until I had the funds to pay the attorney's retainer fee. I have it now. As I said, the only reason I'm continuing to meet with her is to keep her coming back in order to get her served. My attorney said that when she gets the divorce papers, she'll likely want to come home suddenly. He also advised to wait to cancel the I-130 when I have the divorce papers files and send them in with the letter. That is what he told me. I have an appointment with him on Thursday. 

[csh2020 18]

1 minute ago, Crazy Cat said:

OK.  Good luck.  I hope you can find happiness for yourself. 

One cannot imagine what she has put me through. I truly had faith in this marriage, and I do love her, which is making it all the more difficult. She says she loves me but yet, won't come home or tell me where she is staying/working for fear that I will turn her in. Nothing I say will convince her that ICE would not come and pick her up just for a phone call, especially since she has a parole stamp/asylum petition pending. She said this morning via text that she will come home when she feels "safe" (and said to refer to our conversation yesterday- that she fears that I will call ICE). I can't help from thinking this is just another excuse to string me along. 

[csh2020 18]

34 minutes ago, Edward and Jaycel said:

I’m sorry if this seems blunt, but with this last post it has to be asked… Did you send the withdrawal request for the I-130 to USCIS?

My lawyer is advising to wait until the divorce is filed. I have the letter notarized. 

[Crazy Cat 42,572]

1 minute ago, csh2020 said:

My lawyer is advising to wait until the divorce is filed. I have the letter notarized. 

Pull the I-130 immediately.....immediately.  You have nothing to gain by waiting, imo.

[appleblossom 3,339]

28 minutes ago, csh2020 said:

I can't help from thinking this is just another excuse to string me along. 

 

Of course it is. The fact that she’s talking about feeling ‘safe’ tells you all you need to know - she’ll be making notes for a VAWA case, including how she only felt ‘safe’ enough to meet you if it was in a public place. And you agreeing to that is just giving her more ammunition.

 

 

25 minutes ago, Crazy Cat said:

Pull the I-130 immediately.....immediately.  You have nothing to gain by waiting, imo.

 

+1.

Edited Tuesday at 05:51 PM by appleblossom

[Edward and Jaycel 795]

35 minutes ago, csh2020 said:

The only reason that I am meeting with her on Mondays is that I am trying to keep her coming back so that I can get her served. I have an appointment with my attorney this week and I have waited until I can pay his retainer fee. If she stops coming, then it will become more complicated to get her served. That is the only reason. I understand that I look like I have no common sense but, in fact, it is a strategy. 

ok wish you the best of luck… but what your lawyer said in waiting to pull the I-130? Zero benefit in waiting for the divorce… it’s your application and you can pull it any time you are inclined to do so

[mniceguy16 191]

On 2/18/2025 at 12:19 PM, csh2020 said:

The reason for the hesitancy is waiting until I had the funds to pay the attorney's retainer fee. I have it now. As I said, the only reason I'm continuing to meet with her is to keep her coming back in order to get her served. My attorney said that when she gets the divorce papers, she'll likely want to come home suddenly. He also advised to wait to cancel the I-130 when I have the divorce papers files and send them in with the letter. That is what he told me. I have an appointment with him on Thursday. 

Your attorney sounds like he/she needs to be fired. This lady won’t come back to you, pull down the I130, divorce has nothing to do with  waiting. It sounds more like you have hopes of getting back with her, you will only keep hurting yourself for someone who is gone emotionally and already physically. Submit that withdrawal letter and move on with the divorce proceeding, remember the longer the wait, the more time she gets to get you in the exact position she is aiming for.