Seeking a Green Card

[csh2020 18]

UPDATE: She contacted me this morning and wanted to meet in a public place. She moved about two hours away with a friend and even quit her job here and accepted another job there where she is staying. She would not give me the address or any other information. The only information that I have is the city where she is residing. She said that I am quick to jump toward a divorce and that a divorce would certainly result in her deportation. I kept asking her how she is connecting the two: divorce and immigration? She proposed that we stay married so that I can maintain my housing (remember I am a pastor, and we live in a parsonage) and that I have to think about my 15-year-old daughter.

 

She said if an ICE officer were to stop her that I would be the first person that they would call being her husband but if I were no longer her husband, then they would not call me. She mentioned Trump and the laws reversing TPS (remember she was born in Nicaragua) and she recognizes that she would be deported there in spite of her having lived in Costa Rica most of her life (because her Asylum claim is based on her Nicaraguan citizenship). She said if I divorce her then she might as well turn herself into immigration. 

 

She wants to continue living two hours away while working and to travel here (while driving with no license) to have "Monday dates" while getting to know me, though she barely calls or texts. I asked her repeatedly why she wants to remain married. She said it was because she wants to spend time getting to know me better. She also wants to keep her address here and keep receiving mail at this address. 

 

I asked her if she loves me, and she did not answer. I asked her why she left, and she said because I yell at her. I have never yelled at her. I treated her like a queen. The day she left I brought roses because I was truly trying to save our marriage and that was a week after she said she no longer wants to have intimacy. 

 

I have an appointment with an attorney in the morning and I really want to annul this marriage and I'm hoping I have grounds. She tried to make me feel guilty like it would be my fault if she gets killed in Nicaragua. This is so much to process, and it is stressing me out like one would not believe. And she did hug me before we left but it was more of a brotherly type of hug. 

 

Basically, I understand that she wants to live as a single person while making the government believe that we are cohabitating and for me to live as a single man while reaping the benefits of housing. What I believe is that she is scared and desperate. And if she gets killed, she said I will stand in judgment of God. 

 

Please respond. I really need to hear your thoughts. 

Edited 18 hours ago by csh2020
posted twice accidentally

[Edward and Jaycel 596]

IMHO… She is a master manipulator and is being g coached what to say. She basically told you she needs you to stay married to her for immigration purposes. I hope you sent the withdrawal request for the I-130. Get with your attorney. Protect yourself. What happens to her is a result of the choices she made.

[nastra30 2,368]

Op. Pull the petition & affidavit of support and proceed with your divorce. IMO she's pulling your heartstrings; don't fall for it. Goodluck.

[Family 4,242]

1 hour ago, csh2020 said:

UPDATE: She contacted me this morning and wanted to meet in a public place. She moved about two hours away with a friend and even quit her job here and accepted another job there where she is staying. She would not give me the address or any other information. The only information that I have is the city where she is residing. She said that I am quick to jump toward a divorce and that a divorce would certainly result in her deportation. I kept asking her how she is connecting the two: divorce and immigration? She proposed that we stay married so that I can maintain my housing (remember I am a pastor, and we live in a parsonage) and that I have to think about my 15-year-old daughter.

 

She said if an ICE officer were to stop her that I would be the first person that they would call being her husband but if I were no longer her husband, then they would not call me. She mentioned Trump and the laws reversing TPS (remember she was born in Nicaragua) and she recognizes that she would be deported there in spite of her having lived in Costa Rica most of her life (because her Asylum claim is based on her Nicaraguan citizenship). She said if I divorce her then she might as well turn herself into immigration. 

 

She wants to continue living two hours away while working and to travel here (while driving with no license) to have "Monday dates" while getting to know me, though she barely calls or texts. I asked her repeatedly why she wants to remain married. She said it was because she wants to spend time getting to know me better. She also wants to keep her address here and keep receiving mail at this address. 

 

I asked her if she loves me, and she did not answer. I asked her why she left, and she said because I yell at her. I have never yelled at her. I treated her like a queen. The day she left I brought roses because I was truly trying to save our marriage and that was a week after she said she no longer wants to have intimacy. 

 

I have an appointment with an attorney in the morning and I really want to annul this marriage and I'm hoping I have grounds. She tried to make me feel guilty like it would be my fault if she gets killed in Nicaragua. This is so much to process, and it is stressing me out like one would not believe. And she did hug me before we left but it was more of a brotherly type of hug. 

 

Basically, I understand that she wants to live as a single person while making the government believe that we are cohabitating and for me to live as a single man while reaping the benefits of housing. What I believe is that she is scared and desperate. And if she gets killed, she said I will stand in judgment of God. 

 

Please respond. I really need to hear your thoughts. 

Dang, that was quick: changed cities, quit job starts new job in new city overnight ! 
Let’s see, she left home in fear of you, cause you yell. 
‘She doesn’t trust you ( not to hurt her) and doesn’t feel “ safe “ with you to give you her address. 
 

Guess what…she just made it really difficult for you to serve her annulment/divorce papers. 
 

You will have to have you attorney draw up and when ready to serve , invite her for that “ date” she asked for and tell process server to show up.
 

There is no marriage to save here, let it go
 

As for her immigration scenario: Pay Attention Please. She will be okay.

1. TPS is over but ICE won’t pick her up because she has pending asylum 

2. If ( when) she looses her asylum claim, she gets to DESIGNATE a country for removal . ..so hopefully she manages w Costa Rica to accept. 
 

[appleblossom 3,203]

Why did you meet with her?! I agree with the above, sounds like she’s been coached and she doesn’t want ‘to get to know you better’, she simply wants a green card and thinks you’ll be daft enough to fall for her nonsense. 
 

I really hope you pulled the I-130. 
 

 

[TBoneTX 46,167]

3 hours ago, csh2020 said:

And if she gets killed, she said I will stand in judgment of God. 

She'll first have to face up to God for having borne false witness.  And much, much more.

 

I hope that your attorney is the meanest and nastiest that you could possibly hire.

 

Everything will be all right once it has all settled down.

[yuna628 9,721]

14 hours ago, csh2020 said:

UPDATE: She contacted me this morning and wanted to meet in a public place. She moved about two hours away with a friend and even quit her job here and accepted another job there where she is staying. She would not give me the address or any other information. The only information that I have is the city where she is residing. She said that I am quick to jump toward a divorce and that a divorce would certainly result in her deportation. I kept asking her how she is connecting the two: divorce and immigration? She proposed that we stay married so that I can maintain my housing (remember I am a pastor, and we live in a parsonage) and that I have to think about my 15-year-old daughter.

 

She said if an ICE officer were to stop her that I would be the first person that they would call being her husband but if I were no longer her husband, then they would not call me. She mentioned Trump and the laws reversing TPS (remember she was born in Nicaragua) and she recognizes that she would be deported there in spite of her having lived in Costa Rica most of her life (because her Asylum claim is based on her Nicaraguan citizenship). She said if I divorce her then she might as well turn herself into immigration. 

 

She wants to continue living two hours away while working and to travel here (while driving with no license) to have "Monday dates" while getting to know me, though she barely calls or texts. I asked her repeatedly why she wants to remain married. She said it was because she wants to spend time getting to know me better. She also wants to keep her address here and keep receiving mail at this address. 

 

I asked her if she loves me, and she did not answer. I asked her why she left, and she said because I yell at her. I have never yelled at her. I treated her like a queen. The day she left I brought roses because I was truly trying to save our marriage and that was a week after she said she no longer wants to have intimacy. 

 

I have an appointment with an attorney in the morning and I really want to annul this marriage and I'm hoping I have grounds. She tried to make me feel guilty like it would be my fault if she gets killed in Nicaragua. This is so much to process, and it is stressing me out like one would not believe. And she did hug me before we left but it was more of a brotherly type of hug. 

 

Basically, I understand that she wants to live as a single person while making the government believe that we are cohabitating and for me to live as a single man while reaping the benefits of housing. What I believe is that she is scared and desperate. And if she gets killed, she said I will stand in judgment of God. 

 

Please respond. I really need to hear your thoughts. 

I'm going to tell you what I told a male friend of mine going through a divorce. In his case he devoted a huge chunk of his life to a lady, had a kid, and then she threatened to take everything from him. You have to get mad enough to stop being taken advantage of and you need a competent attorney. Divorce, get out, move on with your life. There is nothing left for you in this relationship with her, because there never was a true relationship to begin with. Likely you saw the warning signs, and ignored them. People likely questioned and warned you, not out of maliciousness, but out of concern for your well-being. People are not perfect, and make mistakes. If such mistakes result in not having a parsonage or being a pastor at a location, then you need a backup plan - not just for yourself, but for your child. Perhaps this kind of change is a new direction that's needed in your life.

 

As a pastor you should understand that what this lady is asking you to do is live in sin. A type of sin that is lying to yourself, your family, your parishioners, your church, your government, and your god. You were a ride and she'd like you to continue to be that ride. Biblically, what are you told to do? You might think it is to offer some charity and continue to dig yourself deeper into the hole of the lie because you are afraid of what will happen to her. But that is just stumbling some more. Yes, she might be taken and removed - well, that's a her problem. If she wants to turn herself in - okay, call the bluff. She has proven herself to be resourceful in such a short time, I guarantee she will move onto her next best scam. You ask if she loves you, and you already know the answer to that question. It is clear in everything you have stated. It is unpleasant to think about I know, but she doesn't need to tell you what you already know. I'm sure she is desperate. Her desperation has nothing to do with you. She was not desperate enough to love you.

 

What did Jesus do when he entered the temple and saw the money changers? Did he offer sympathy or charity? Was there offers of love or acceptance of their blatant behavior? Did he tell them they could stay and do their thing in case they got into some trouble? No. 

 

I'm not trying to come off as harsh but you need to think of yourself and your kid. I am the child of a former pastor who once made the choice to upend his family and leave that parish house and ministry because it started to feel like a millstone around one's neck instead of a calling. It was very difficult for a time, but I often remind him, of how far he came and what blessings came of it, in the times he likes to forget. 

[Edward and Jaycel 596]

I wish I could 💙 your post more than once @yuna628

[Crazy Cat 42,353]

15 hours ago, csh2020 said:

I have an appointment with an attorney in the morning and I really want to annul this marriage and I'm hoping I have grounds. She tried to make me feel guilty like it would be my fault if she gets killed in Nicaragua. This is so much to process, and it is stressing me out like one would not believe. And she did hug me before we left but it was more of a brotherly type of hug.

Time to COMPLETELY cut ties, and seek happiness for yourself.   I see nothing positive for having met with her.  

Edited 3 hours ago by Crazy Cat