Seeking a Green Card

[appleblossom 3,130]

10 minutes ago, JeanneAdil said:

When she finds out there is possibility she can not adjust if u withdraw the support, she will talk to others and realize that she will not be able to sponsor the "other man"

so don't fall for the "I love you BS" to get u to continue the AOS 

 

I totally agree with this - I also thought that she might suddenly change her tune once she realises that Trump has cancelled the TPS program. That’s only just happened so once she hears the news and realises that the OP might end up being her only route to a green card, I wouldn’t be surprised if she suddenly becomes a much more loving wife!

[Family 4,211]

1 hour ago, csh2020 said:

She is 42 and I am 54. So, we are both adults. I just feel that she has used excuses to avoid me since we met, which makes me highly suspicious. I know if I am suspicious then certainly an immigration officer will be suspicious. 

 

My last thread needs correction: she is talking about going back to Costa Rica but then said last night that she can't.

You write well, though I sense a bit of melancholic Woeth Me .

 

I do not fault you for getting married TWO weeks after meeting her…you played your hand “ blind” , so to speak. You took a chance but wins are not guaranteed .

 

 I am glad you got a community cold shower  here , telling you to take immediate action.

 

TO DO:

1. Write a letter to USCIS to withdraw both I-130 and I-864 . Say the marriage is not viable and you are filing for divorce . State after the short time living as man and wife, you have concluded you are emotionally and physically incompatible. 
..last sentence is  optional, more a parting gift ,so her file  has evidence this was a good faith marriage…as I am quite certain she will land on her feet and perhaps find another US husband.

 

They will deny her I-485. What she does , where she goes is totally up to her. 
 

2. You will not have problems in the future filing for another .

Cheer up , listen to country songs and thank your lucky stars you were not supporting 3 kids and a mother in law like the fellow in bellow link trial😂

 

 

 

Edited 20 hours ago by Family

[SalishSea 18,137]

This is a green card marriage, you are 100% being used.   Once she has her green card, she will petition her actual husband.

 

Odd that you’re already asking about petitioning others, but hopefully  at 54 you’ll carefully consider getting to know someone properly first.

[Melancholic Mage 126]

4 hours ago, csh2020 said:

Greetings, Fellow VJers. I just posted a few days ago and I hope it is okay to post again (not the same topic).  My wife and I married in July through the courthouse after only having met two weeks earlier. I am a UCS, and she is from Nicaragua but lived in Costa Rica since she was a kid. She applied for asylum at the border when paroled on the basis of her Nicaraguan citizenship. She lived in another state about three hours away. I admit marrying that quickly was a rash decision, and I did not know or understand the parole/asylum process.  After we married, she did not want to move in with me immediately because her church told her that we weren’t really married until we married through the church (so she said). So, we had very little relations. When she came to visit my house, she would bring a friend and she and I would sleep in separate rooms. I spent 18,000 on the wedding pulled from my retirement. We got married through the church in September. It was a beautiful wedding. She proclaimed her love and even sang to me!  She moved in and then quickly went to work that took her out of the home over 15 hours a day, four days a week. I’m a pastor of a church and she conveniently worked during church time (an English-speaking church). While away, she does not text me at all. 15 hours go by with radio silence. Even when she is home, she does not text me and often is slow answering my texts. I have noticed a pattern in her behavior. In front of my family, her church, or anyone else in public, she is affectionate but in private she doesn’t even want me to put my arm around her at night. She only gives me a peck when she kisses me, and it is usually limited to one or two a day. Last week, things finally came to a head. She literally said to me that she wants to be married for the sake of the church and my kids but in private, we are not mates and even invited me to go out and fill my needs elsewhere if I need it because we are not doing anything else. When I tell her I love her, she doesn’t respond and says it is not something that she says often – though she tells everyone else, family members including my daughter that she loves them without a problem. Then I found on an old Facebook page her proclaiming love for a man in Costa Rica who she has been with for over 15 years and that was only four months before she met me. She said that one day they will be back together, and their hearts will beat as one. She is not active on that page, and I gave her the benefit of the doubt that it was a past love. I don’t want to get so personal here and air out my laundry, but many of you have seen and experienced this type of thing. I told her today that I’m thinking about a divorce based on the lack of communication, the feeling that she has avoided me since we met and the lack of affection (no touching, no holding, no kissing, very limited physical contact). When I brought up the word court, instead of taking it in context of what I meant – divorce court – she immediately assumed that I meant immigration court and went into a whole tirade about how she doesn’t need (…) papers. I am a pastor, and we live in a parsonage. I have put my whole life, my retirement and even my housing on the line for her and I am getting suspicious because the evidence is beginning to point in that direction. What are your thoughts?

 

I'll probably need therapy after this, but I know that you all are familiar with this sort of thing. Your thoughts are appreciated.

 

I'm really sorry to hear what you're going through, @csh2020. There's not much I can say that other user's haven't already, but I wanted to highlight what I found to be the warning signs in your own post. Frankly, it raises more red flags to me than the whole Chinese Dynasty ever did.

 

I'm surprised no one mentioned it, but the biggest one for me was when you mentioned divorce and brought up court, and she immediately reacted by assuming you meant immigration court. Speaking for myself, but no one in their right mind would assume that right off the bat when speaking about a divorce. I would be asking why, what I could be doing better, how we could make things work. If I was faced with what you leveraged at her with my husband, I'd be absolutely devastated. Destroyed. The last thing I would be thinking about, were I in that situation, would be my ability to stay in the country.

 

If anything, divorce typically makes people want to be the farthest apart from each other.

 

Be careful with this woman. The devil is at work with her. Unfortunately, good souls such as yourself are targeted by these kinds of Green Card cons. Have faith you can overcome this, but absolutely seek an attorney. This woman clearly has no interest in anything but her residency status and doesn't deserve you.

[TBoneTX 46,119]

A post that can be construed as badgering the OP has been removed.  Our posts can be blunt and also kind.

[JeanneAdil 6,651]

7 hours ago, csh2020 said:

 

 

Let me add that I have already sponsored one immigrant spouse while she was in her home country, and we were together 7 years. If I withdraw this petition (just filed in December), will that disqualify me from future petitions if I ever meet anyone else? Not looking but just wondering how that might go. 

We honestly care for your heart break but be ever so much more careful in future

My prayers go out to u

 

Doesn't disqualify but another petition would go thru heavy scrutiny as 3 is a lot 

 

 

art is not  heavy but be so very careful as there are many women (and men) trolling online for marriage to USC's and that green card 

and there are USC's taking advantage of some foreigners and many post on here "my USC spouse is abusive, what do I do?"  So, honestly,  USCIS and embassys try to protect both sides, hence there are denials.   

Your new wife may try to say u r abusive so watch your back  

 

And USCIS says this:

Sham marriages, which are marriages entered into for immigration purposes, can have severe legal and immigration consequences. 

 

 

[Sam Burns 157]

8 hours ago, csh2020 said:

What are your thoughts?

Sorry you’ve been taken for a ride

[csh2020 10]

Here is an update. She was off work yesterday. When I got home, all of her clothes were gone, and she took her car. No texts. No responses. I have no idea where she went or where she is. But she obviously panicked when I mentioned court. None of this make sense. I am trying to work, I had trouble sleeping last night, and I am in a cloud of confusion. 

 

What's worse is that I am a pastor and nearly lost my church (and housing) over marrying her too quickly. I had to do a lot of convincing for them to allow me to stay. With this happening, I will surely have to leave (which means my 15-year-old daughter and I will lose our housing).  It is adding to stress because I am now faced with holding off as long as I can from telling the church leaders (luckily, she never attends because she is always working. So, they will assume... but that can only go so long until they find out she left). So, I have to continue preaching on Sunday without telling anyone. I will tell them but I'm trying to scramble to make a plan. My 15-year-old daughter loved her, and she is really hurt over this because this woman just vanished without saying anything while leaving us holding the bag. This is an example how real lives can be affected by immigration fraud.  

 

When I file for divorce, they may end up having to find her to serve her. I have no idea but one would hope that a divorce judge will understand that and grant the divorce based on her going AWOL. 

Edited 4 hours ago by csh2020

[appleblossom 3,130]

25 minutes ago, csh2020 said:

Here is an update. She was off work yesterday. When I got home, all of her clothes were gone, and she took her car. No texts. No responses. I have no idea where she went or where she is. But she obviously panicked when I mentioned court. None of this make sense. I am trying to work, I had trouble sleeping last night, and I am in a cloud of confusion. 

 

What's worse is that I am a pastor and nearly lost my church (and housing) over marrying her too quickly. I had to do a lot of convincing for them to allow me to stay. With this happening, I will surely have to leave (which means my 15-year-old daughter and I will lose our housing).  It is adding to stress because I am now faced with holding off as long as I can from telling the church leaders (luckily, she never attends because she is always working. So, they will assume... but that can only go so long until they find out she left). So, I have to continue preaching on Sunday without telling anyone. I will tell them but I'm trying to scramble to make a plan. My 15-year-old daughter loved her, and she is really hurt over this because this woman just vanished without saying anything while leaving us holding the bag. This is an example how real lives can be affected by immigration fraud.  

 

When I file for divorce, they may end up having to find her to serve her. I have no idea but one would hope that a divorce judge will understand that and grant the divorce based on her going AWOL. 

 

I’m so sorry that it’s having an even wider impact on your life. Get the application cancelled asap so that you don’t have that hassle at least.

 

As for your church, if you are honest and repent then nobody should judge you for that. We all make mistakes, it’s how we deal with them that define us. 

 

I wish you and your daughter the very best.

Edited 3 hours ago by appleblossom

[Family 4,211]

1 hour ago, csh2020 said:

Here is an update. She was off work yesterday. When I got home, all of her clothes were gone, and she took her car. No texts. No responses. I have no idea where she went or where she is. But she obviously panicked when I mentioned court. None of this make sense. I am trying to work, I had trouble sleeping last night, and I am in a cloud of confusion. 

 

What's worse is that I am a pastor and nearly lost my church (and housing) over marrying her too quickly. I had to do a lot of convincing for them to allow me to stay. With this happening, I will surely have to leave (which means my 15-year-old daughter and I will lose our housing).  It is adding to stress because I am now faced with holding off as long as I can from telling the church leaders (luckily, she never attends because she is always working. So, they will assume... but that can only go so long until they find out she left). So, I have to continue preaching on Sunday without telling anyone. I will tell them but I'm trying to scramble to make a plan. My 15-year-old daughter loved her, and she is really hurt over this because this woman just vanished without saying anything while leaving us holding the bag. This is an example how real lives can be affected by immigration fraud.  

 

When I file for divorce, they may end up having to find her to serve her. I have no idea but one would hope that a divorce judge will understand that and grant the divorce based on her going AWOL. 

In a sea of bad possible outcomes, such as heated arguments , public scandals in your congregation and potential police calls , her quietly going away is a blessing in disguise. 

Unlike you, she did not fall head over heels and was at least transparent enough to spell it out for you : she would only be a wife in ‘public’ , while in private treat living together as an amicable “arrangement “ with no intimacy. 
 

Stop texting her. 
 

Go file divorce, you can DIY with help of court legal aid clinic if you can’t afford an attorney. 
First, you show you tried serving her . Yes, they can serve her at work , process server can even carry a bouquet of flowers as decoy . If server can’t find her or she evades service, ask the judge to let you serve by publication . Easy and cheap. Just stay on top of process and move it along quickly.

 

https://www.lawhelp.org/dc/resource/serving-divorce-papers-if-you-cant-locate-you

Edited 3 hours ago by Family

[Family 4,211]

19 hours ago, csh2020 said:

She lived in another state about three hours away. I admit marrying that quickly was a rash decision, and I did not know or understand the parole/asylum process.  After we married, she did not want to move in with me immediately because her church told her that we weren’t really married until we married through the church (so she said). So, we had very little relations. When she came to visit my house, she would bring a friend and she and I would sleep in separate rooms. I spent 18,000 on the wedding pulled from my retirement. We got married through the church in September. It was a beautiful wedding. She proclaimed her love and even sang to me!

Just need you to re-read your own words . Think about the planning and scheming required for her to get a ‘’friend ‘’ to chaperone marital visits….for a 40 year old virgin 😂

I am guessing she was scheming for church wedding cause getting married while in removal carries a bigger burden of bonafides .

 

I would not blame you if you filed for annulment instead of dissolution…but know that  USCIS would permanently bar her from getting a green card through another USC marriage. 

 

[TexasRafael 144]

It is very sad to read your story.  I honestly believe you already know what is going on.  Your best solution is to get divorced and stop spending your money on something you already know is not for your benefit.

[Crazy Cat 42,293]

2 hours ago, csh2020 said:

This is an example how real lives can be affected by immigration fraud.  

Withdraw I-130 and I-485 before a Green Card is issued.

Annul the marriage or divorce

Protect yourself physically and financially

Let her go and seek happiness for yourself.  Her destiny is up to her.

[csh2020 10]

21 hours ago, appleblossom said:

I’m sorry to hear that’s so tough, marriage can involve hard work sometimes but shouldn’t be *that* hard! That does sound very odd to me, every relationship is different, but most people would still be in the honeymoon ‘can’t keep our hands off each other’ stage after only 6 months of marriage. Personal question I know, but is there a big age difference? How long were you together for before marriage?

 

I see from your other thread she’s thinking of going back to Nicaragua which will mean her AOS is abandoned. Maybe that will be the test of her true feelings and help you work out if she genuinely wants to be married to you for the rest of her life, or is just using you for a green card? 

Her true feelings were confirmed when I came home to find all of her belongings gone; closets cleaned out without even saying anything. My 15-year-old daughter is hurt over it because she won her over. She would hug her every morning before school and yet, this person left without even as much as saying bye. 

[csh2020 10]

19 hours ago, Family said:

You write well, though I sense a bit of melancholic Woeth Me .

 

I do not fault you for getting married TWO weeks after meeting her…you played your hand “ blind” , so to speak. You took a chance but wins are not guaranteed .

 

 I am glad you got a community cold shower  here , telling you to take immediate action.

 

TO DO:

1. Write a letter to USCIS to withdraw both I-130 and I-864 . Say the marriage is not viable and you are filing for divorce . State after the short time living as man and wife, you have concluded you are emotionally and physically incompatible. 
..last sentence is  optional, more a parting gift ,so her file  has evidence this was a good faith marriage…as I am quite certain she will land on her feet and perhaps find another US husband.

 

They will deny her I-485. What she does , where she goes is totally up to her. 
 

2. You will not have problems in the future filing for another .

Cheer up , listen to country songs and thank your lucky stars you were not supporting 3 kids and a mother in law like the fellow in bellow link trial😂

 

 

 

Thank you for your encouragement. I'm not sure that I will do that because, while I do not want to harm her, I also do not want to put here in a place to victimize another USC. This needs to put a red flag on her UCSIS immigration papers. I'm not vindictive but I am truly upset that we were played like this and my 15-year-old daughter got hurt. That is the worst thing of all.  This has strengthened my stance on illegal immigration because I now see evidence of how it is harmful.