How to cope with the office jerk...

[Marilyn. 340]

At some point in our careers, most of us are forced to work with someone whose people skills can only be described as atrocious. Sometimes our companies wisely get rid of these people, but they are like weeds. Pluck one, and within seconds another will sprout up in its place. The dread that comes with having to regularly interact with someone who is routinely negative, argumentative, stressed out, or mean can make your job a wholly unpleasant experience -- if you let it.

Your first instinct might be to go out of your way to avoid working with Mr. (or Ms.) Difficult, and if you can pull it off, more power to you. Often, though, this is not an option, and whether Mr. Difficult is your boss, a colleague, or a senior executive, you must prepare for each meeting with him like you are going into battle. Swallow your apprehension. Remind yourself that no one has the power to control how you feel and suit up your armor so that nothing he says or does wounds you deeply. Take a deep breath and walk calmly into Mr. Difficult's office. Speak to him in a controlled, cheerful, and reasonable tone. Get the information you need and get out. Negativity and stress can be highly contagious, so don't allow yourself to get sucked in.

Mr. Difficult's arrows can be easier to deflect when he's an equal opportunity shooter. You might even joke about him with your other colleagues: "Oh, you're working with Mr. Difficult on that? I'm so sorry. I hear a bunch of people are getting a hitman if you want to contribute." It's easy to become demoralized, however, when Mr. Difficult saves his best poison just for you. One of my early bosses, for example, couldn't stand me. She was sweet as apple pie to the rest of our colleagues, and to the best of my knowledge, I didn't do anything specific to incur her wrath. Inexplicably, though, whenever I came around she turned into the wicked witch of the west.

Your best bet in this type of scenario is to sit down with your Mr. Difficult and have a heart to heart. Tell him how you are feeling, assume that he doesn't mean to act like the devil incarnate, and give him the benefit of the doubt. Solicit his feedback regarding how the two of you can improve the relationship and then give him a chance to do right by you. If this doesn't work and he continues to regularly use you as target practice, remove yourself from the situation. No job is worth your self-esteem.

One caveat to all this: Human beings operate with such different styles that it's impossible for us to get along with all of our colleagues all of the time. You could be the most agreeable person on earth, but I guarantee that someone at work will find a reason not to like you. Maybe she isn't blatantly obvious or malicious like Mr. Difficult, but you can feel her negativity just the same. She might walk right past your desk without saying good morning and probably doesn't engage in friendly conversation with you the way she does with other people in the office.

For those of us with a sensitive streak, this type of behavior can be hurtful too. What did you do to her anyway? Why won't she give you a fair shot? As natural as it is to fixate on the situation, if it's not affecting your daily working life or your career path, refuse to take it personally and go about your business. Focus on your reasons for being at work and save your energy for the people in the office who deserve it.

http://health.yahoo.com/experts/capessa/72...he-jerk-at-work

[almaty 19]

refer him to EAP..we will straighten his/her out

[*JG* 2]

Some I have learned you can eventually learn how to deal with and get along enough to work with. Others, well sometimes, you have to let a tirade or two rip to maintain your own sanity.

[thetreble 19]

The office is a very tricky place. Very gossipy, lots of people you can't stand and some that you can....it's like a little world inside there. My dad always taught me to grin and bear it as long as it's not ruining your life. When it gets to the point where someone is crossing the line, then you must sit down and put them back in line.

[Marilyn. 340]

The office is a very tricky place. Very gossipy, lots of people you can't stand and some that you can....it's like a little world inside there. My dad always taught me to grin and bear it as long as it's not ruining your life. When it gets to the point where someone is crossing the line, then you must sit down and put them back in line.

sounds a lot like VJ

Edited August 10, 2007 by MarilynP

[Sinergy 3]

remember cindy, the one i sit by who is a total DUMBA$$?? well her last day is tuesday YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY god does love me.

anyway she planned her own goodbye party and invited 60 some ppl. well only 10 said they would go, and when asked by someone why she would throw her own goodbye party she said "i wanted to see how many ppl really do like me" the person laughed and stated and only 10 are showing up? i cant help but believe its for the free alcohol or they are just glad shes leaving and wanna make sure it really happens. i for one declined the invitation. and for 2 days shes thrown a fit over ppl not wanting to go.

im gonna throw a party that shes leaving, im sure all 60 will show for that.

[thetreble 19]

niceeeee.

I used to work for the local government where I lived while I was still living in Canada in transportation. The manager of roads had an ex-wife that worked on the 3rd floor. His new wife worked on the 6th. One day I had to take the elevator with his ex-wife, his new wife..AND him. Ohhh booyyy. Did that ever get every one else in the elevator going

[Jasman0717 9]

We have one of those, unfortunately he is to boss

[almaty 19]

We have one of those, unfortunately he is to boss

damn, that is terrible