Mixing money and taking loans

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I have had a couple of friends married to MENA men take out loans for them to start businesses. One worked out really well. One woman almost lost her house. Another split with her husband but he repaid her everything.

What is your take on this? Giving money to a spouse to start a business or resisting the pressure to get financially intermingled with your spouse. I had one experience with one person from a MENA country constantly pressuring me to lend him money for a business( not my husband, boyfriend) But I did not do it. Whats your take on this? I personally think the guy if he married you should go get a job and earn his own credit and money for a business but he still needs to pay bills in the house. I have seen a couple of women give the guy papers while she pays the bills and then he jets when he has enough money. But i have known one woman that it worked out for.

Any thoughts?

[Credzba 0]

I have had a couple of friends married to MENA men take out loans for them to start businesses. One worked out really well. One woman almost lost her house. Another split with her husband but he repaid her everything.

What is your take on this? Giving money to a spouse to start a business or resisting the pressure to get financially intermingled with your spouse. I had one experience with one person from a MENA country constantly pressuring me to lend him money for a business( not my husband, boyfriend) But I did not do it. Whats your take on this? I personally think the guy if he married you should go get a job and earn his own credit and money for a business but he still needs to pay bills in the house. I have seen a couple of women give the guy papers while she pays the bills and then he jets when he has enough money. But i have known one woman that it worked out for.

Any thoughts?

Just my opinion is that it is very dangerous.

My wife and I always planned to buy property in China as well as in the US as rental income in the future.

Because of this our money immediately was mixed as we began purchasing property.

It worked out for us, but we were both honest from the beginning about our plans together.

I think if she had pressured me for money, I would have backed out of the relationship.

If either person pressures the other for anything, then I think it is a bad relationship.

When we marry we do it because we want to be married. If we are going to be pressured by our spouse all the time, then it is not something I would want to do.

[caybee 21]

To me, this isn't MENA-specific at all. There are plenty of cases in the U.S. where one spouse has worked while the other was in school or starting a business. If the relationship doesn't work out, the partner who contributed more financially feels burned. In that case, any perceived imbalance in the relationship leads to resentment. The money is just more tangible -- you can put that on paper. If both partners feel committed and communication is strong between them, and if they have agreed to comingle the finances and have discussed their financial goals as a couple, respecting each other's concerns at every step, that uneasy feeling won't be there. Money issues (how much will be spent by whom and on what) need to be addressed long before marriage. Not doing so is asking for big trouble. And my own feeling is it's never a good idea to fund a friend's education or business unless there is either a marriage contract or a business contract in place. I'm not saying it can't work, but I would not feel at ease with it...that is unless I could truly look at it as a gift with no obligation on the recipient. Realistically, for me, that's unlikely. I'm too broke.

[Jasman0717 9]

To me it is a matter of trust and fiscal responsibility. One needs to evaluate the consequences of what could happen of the spouse defaults and loosing a house or other large investment is, in my book, a red flag.

[chasnik 0]

Mohammed and I plan to open a Moroccan resturaunt in Chattanooga, but we both decided no loans...at least not at first...we will work and save for some years, then maybe. Building a solid relationship and marriage is hard enough at first without financial ####### thrown in imo.

[desert_fox 32]

We already have too many 7-11 stores. My advice is not to do it.

[♥JP♥ 5]

[Caladan 19]

I think it's a horribly bad idea to take on the risk for a loan for a non-permanent resident. 95% of small businesses fail within the first five years. If you've got the capital to do it safely and you don't mind losing it, go for it, but I think the person whose scheme it is should be bearing some of the risk.

[mybackpages 0]

We already have too many 7-11 stores. My advice is not to do it.

Don;t be silly. Americans can't get enough Big Gulps! YAY High Fructose Corn syrup!

[Henia 11]

Loans (from banks) in general are bad news. No matter who is getting them.

I definately would only loan my husband money if he had an emergency ... but in general it is up to him to provide for himself and his family. But I am glad I will not have this issue as my husband is just too proud to ask anyone for money.

[peezey 0]

We already have too many 7-11 stores. My advice is not to do it.

We already have enough jerk-off men posting in this forum today. My advice is to GTF out.

[PalestineMyHeart 1,897]

[sarah and hicham 3]

Mohammed and I plan to open a Moroccan resturaunt in Chattanooga, but we both decided no loans...at least not at first...we will work and save for some years, then maybe. Building a solid relationship and marriage is hard enough at first without financial ####### thrown in imo.

Starting a restaurant can be verrrrry expensive.

[chasnik 0]

Mohammed and I plan to open a Moroccan resturaunt in Chattanooga, but we both decided no loans...at least not at first...we will work and save for some years, then maybe. Building a solid relationship and marriage is hard enough at first without financial ####### thrown in imo.

Starting a restaurant can be verrrrry expensive.

Yes I know, I owned a resturaunt /catering business for a couple of years...sold it due to partner dying. This is his dream and something that I am actually good at so if he is willing to work and save for it, I am too.

Edited August 11, 2007 by chasnik