ROC under Waiver for Battery or Extreme Cruelty- Is Psy evaluation mandatory? Not Per USCIS Policy manual!

[AT20000 38]

I decided to create this thread because when I applied for a Fiancee Visa and then later when I was filing for ROC under extreme cruelty waiver, I was hammered by some members trying to shove down my throat a bunch of false information specifically when it goes to ROC under Extreme Cruelty I was forcefully and repeatedly told that "YOU HAVE TO HAVE a psych evaluation it is MANDATORY".  I remember thinking "How am I going to put together $3000 to get a psych eval when my abuser prevents me from working and from getting care, and will abuse me more if I ask him to help with the $3000 out of pocket to undergo a psych eval to prove his own abuses?"

I remember thinking: This makes no sense...

I was alone without the slightest family member or friend around me and this fake information- yes I said fake- made me feel even more trapped, more abused, and more desperate. It could have pushed me over the edge had I not been as resilient as I am. I am thankful that a local Domestic violence association referred me to a specific non-profit with immigration lawyers on staff who were helping immigrants with their filing (or filing for them if needed). I remember meeting with a brilliant immigration lawyer, Erika, to whom, desperate, I said "I am afraid this is a lost cause, I have no broken bone to qualify for Battery, and no psych evaluation to qualify for extreme cruelty and since it is mandatory..." 

Erika smiled and said "It is ABSOLUTELY NOT mandatory! If you have it, fine; but if you don't it is not mandatory at all". She directed me to the USCIS policy manual and there it was verbatim: "Evidence of battery or extreme cruelty may include, but is not limited to, reports and affidavits from police, judges, medical personnel, school officials, counselors, or the CPR. CPRs seeking a waiver due to battery or extreme cruelty are not required to submit a recommendation from a mental health professional"

And further: "Congress created the “any credible evidence” provision in recognition of the evidentiary challenges faced by abused spouses and children. An abused CPR may not have access to necessary evidence because the abusive spouse may control access to documents, or the abused CPR may have had to flee the abusive situation without being able to take important documents.

In recognition of these evidentiary challenges, officers cannot deny a case because the CPR spouse or child was unable to provide a particular piece of evidence or could not demonstrate the unavailability of primary or secondary evidence. Officers must consider whatever evidence is available, use agency records, and consider all evidence in the totality of the circumstances in the case. Therefore, when adjudicating a waiver based on battery or extreme cruelty, officers consider any credible evidence relevant to the waiver request submitted by the CPR"

 

Sure enough, in 7 weeks my Biometrics appointment was scheduled and 6 weeks later my ROC was approved without an interview and the filing fee was waived. When I saw Erika the next day, I told her how quick it had been, and to my surprise, she answered "You are not the quickest approval I have seen under this status"

 

I lately came back on here to update my timeline and here we go again, people were pounding on a desperate new member telling her that Psych eval was mandatory! When I jumped in to mention my experience (and that of my adult son) in support of this person, I was lectured on "Being humble"! Excuse me? So some are spreading falshoods and I should fall in line? That's not right! Not so much for me, I could not care less, but for members coming here for support.

 

So I think it is time we come together as a community and put a hard stop to false information and we should prevent people from revictimizing DV victims because this could push anyone over the edge and into taking desperate actions. OR we need to be more specific as to WHY USCIS required a Psych eval. In other words, there probably is a good reason why USCIS requested, if it ever happened, a psych eval and we need to be clear about this: Was the rest of the file weak in terms of other evidence?

What is your experience?

https://www.uscis.gov/policy-manual/volume-6-part-i-chapter-5#S-C-5

Edited September 27 by AT20000
spelling

[Timona 4,207]

To be honest, you wasted time on this for absolutely no reason. You already had a GC. You didn't need to prove extreme abuse for ROC. All you needed to do was divorce and then file ROC under divorce waiver option.

 

If you are already divorced, probably reason why Erika told you "it's not mandatory at all." She probably filed it under divorce option while you're thinking she moved mountains. Bottom line is, your case is straight forward. Not sure why you were scratching your head over it.

 

There's a lot of misinformation when it comes to ROC-ing with abusive spouse. People will tell you that you need to prove abuse / go for VAWA YET you already have a GC. FALSE. Just divorce and ROC under divorce waiver option. 

[AT20000 38]

Hi Timona, thank you for your answer. I am over this hurdle for a long time; the aim of the post wasn't for me but for the next person who is brutally abused, financially abused as well (because abusers block you from working so that they control you) and who comes here for support & advice.

You raise crucial points on which, having gone through it myself, I respectfully but totally disagree. Such as " People will tell you that you need to prove abuse / go for VAWA YET you already have a GC. FALSE." This is not only absolutely NOT FALSE, but for someone who is a true DV victim "Battery, Extreme Cruelty waiver" for ROC is by far the fastest way to separate their immigration status from their marital status, and get a chance to fix their immigration status first and THEN tackle the divorce free from any pressure related to their immigration timeline (see #2). I was relentlessly pressured here into filing for Divorce waiver, I did not follow this advice and I am glad I didn't! I would file under Extreme Cruelty again in a heartbeat.

• I filed myself for both me and my adult son, as specified in my post, therefore there is no doubt about how it was filed and nobody filed for me under another status to play hero.
• I was not divorced at the time of filing, since, as I type these lines, no divorce has been finalized yet,
• Facts are: both my and my son's applications were filed under Extreme Cruety waiver and the filing fee was also waived by USCIS.
  • no, it wasn't complicated (and this is the 1st takeaway for the victims), it just requires focus and thoroughness 
  • no, USCIS absolutely does NOT require a Psych eval (that's the 2nd takeaway for the victims) neither my son nor I had one
  • no, USCIS absolutely does NOT require Physical violence evidence, neither my son nor I had any
  • no, USCIS absolutely does NOT require a Restraining Order, neither my son nor I had one
  • no, it is certainly NOT quicker to file under Divorce waiver and by far  (that's the 3rd takeaway for the victims) unless you can find me a divorce waiver timeline filed before the divorce was complete, where the Biometrics appointment took place 1 month & 3 weeks after the receipt notice and the Green card was received 1 month & 2 weeks after the biometrics appointment without an interview. Because that's how quickly it went for me.

Here is why advising Victims to file for ROC under divorce waiver is almost NEVER the best solution for the victim (although a lawyer may find this more attractive because it is less work and more money as unless the divorce is already final there WILL BE A RFE that they will bill you to answer)

1. The period where most spouses of abusers get killed (yes killed) or are at greater risk of great bodily injury is when they take action to separate/divorce their abuser, that's why 100% of the Domestic Violence Associations including the National Domestic Violence Hotline advise to have a well thought out plan before starting ANY legal proceeding.
   • Imagine what happens when you live with an abuser who has control over your immigration status and you tell your abuser, who is already enraged, abusing the daylight out of you, ra*ing you and keeping you under their control as a domestic slave (for lack of better word), that you want a divorce... That, NEVER goes well. It is DANGEROUS
   • Imagine what happens when a violent abuser gets served with Divorce documents and they know where to find you because this information WILL BE given to them if they call USCIS if you file under a Divorce waiver... That NEVER goes well. It is DANGEROUS
2. NO ROC will be adjudicated until the divorce is FINAL and if anyone files for ROC under a divorce waiver, USCIS WILL ISSUE A RFE requesting the final Divorce decree before adjudicating the case. The average length of a divorce in the US is one year, so basically this adds 12 months to the ROC timeline. Here is what USCIS policy manual says: "A CPR is only eligible for a good faith (divorce) waiver if the parties have already terminated the qualifying marriage. There is no basis for a waiver of the joint filing requirement based on a legal or informal separation"
   • A LOT can happen to a DV victim in general, let alone if they are subjected to DV for another 12 months
   • It gives 12 more months to the abuser to set up the victim (I have seen abusers hurting themselves on purpose, banging their head on a door, calling 911, and getting the victim charged with assault which of course annihilates their chance of getting their ROC approved and almost always results in deportation while kids born into wedlock stay in the US with the abusing parent)
   • The fact that no adjudication can take place before the divorce is final, instead of looking for their best interest, pressures the abused spouse into accepting just about ANY provision during their divorce in order to be done as quickly as possible and get their immigration status adjudicated. DV is about power and control so do you know the most famous 2 provisions? 50-50 physical custody of the kids which the abusers use to continue to abuse their victims because they see you every single week and interdiction to move outside of the county where the abuser resides (which basically keeps you within arm-reach of your abuser, who can break inside your home, beat you, slash your tires, and stalk you at will)
3. Filing under Battery or Extreme Cruelty affords the DV victim A LOT more protection here is how:
   • The USCIS policy manual is very much self-explanatory: CPR’s present marital status or living situation is also not relevant to the filing of the waiver. They may still be married to their abusive spouse, or CPR children may still be living with their abusive parent. The CPR may be divorced or separated or still residing with the petitioning spouse".
   • Any credible evidence provision applies; The USCIS policy manual says: "Congress created the “any credible evidence” provision in recognition of the evidentiary challenges faced by abused spouses and children. An abused CPR may not have access to necessary evidence because the abusive spouse may control access to documents, or the abused CPR may have had to flee the abusive situation without being able to take important documents"
   • Confidentiality of the filing under Battery or Extreme Cruelty (with the ability to have correspondence sent to another address)
   • Protection: The USCIS manual says: "The officer must not use information provided by the following prohibited sources to make an adverse determination: The abuser, or perpetrator of the offense; Family member of the abuser; or Someone acting at the request of the abuser."
   •  

For all these reasons, I believe the divorce waiver is perfect for people who divorce under relatively normal circumstances. However, since three women are killed every day in the U.S. due to domestic violence, the divorce waiver should not be advertised as THE easiest solution for domestic violence victims—because it is neither faster nor easier or safer. Furthermore, pushing a divorce waiver onto domestic violence victims exposes them to additional risks that the Battery Extreme Cruelty waiver is designed to protect against.

 

On this post, I would be extremely interested in hearing from people who filed under Battery/Extreme cruelty and what is the list of evidence they provided to get approved, and how long it took to get their approval.

Edited September 27 by AT20000
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[OldUser 6,623]

I'm genuinely happy for your case being approved. This is a great reason to celebrate.

 

However, here is somebody in similar situation who got denied:

 

 

[Timona 4,207]

@AT20000 you wasted a lot of energy on nothing. DV isn't the  reason that a case is approved faster nor quickly separated from your abuser. Not sure where in USCIS manual you read this.  

 

You seem to like taking the high road. What if USCIS rejected or asked you to add more proof of abuse? You're going to waste more time looking into that yet a simple divorce certificate would have taken care of this ROC. 

 

Abuse doesn't mean you entered a marriage in good faith and only left because you were abused. You wasted time trying to prove to immigration that you're innocent. You already had a GC. You took the high road for absolutely no reason at all. 

 

And it's election time. Approvals are being handed like cake. I personally know someone who's been approved within 3 months. Infact NYT just did a stroty on this (fast approvals) this week. 

 

All the best. 

Edited September 28 by Timona

[AT20000 38]

8 hours ago, OldUser said:

I'm genuinely happy for your case being approved. This is a great reason to celebrate.

 

However, here is somebody in similar situation who got denied:

 

 

This is EXACTLY what I was talking about! You just made my point! MANY things do not add up in this story and I am not necessarily saying that the OP lies (although I would not bet money on that) but it is safe to say that he doesn't make it make sense to the adjudicator (and you can add as much evidence as you want if your story does not make sense, you will be denied) and also he doesn't talk about his statement as evidence (which is extremely surprising since apparently he has a lawyer: Yet another inconsistency)

So let me break it down for you: I quote him: "The reason I don’t have joint evidence is because I along with my wife got into an accident within 24 hours of our wedding. She was hospitalized for 1 month and bed rested for over a year. During this time it was impossible for me to tell her to open joint account and then none of us was working. We were living in family house and were supported by her family. By the time she got back on her feet completely one she was cheating"

So I am sorry but this reeks of inconsistencies: They were barely married for a year: 2018 March to 2019 June then there is a big hole in his story (so she is not sick anymore in June 2019 and then they divorced on September 2021 .

So:

-What happened between March 2019 and March 2020 and until 2021? Not mentioned. Please note that the COVID lockdown started in March 2020 in Maryland so he would have been in lockdown with his spouse but no mention of any of that. Where was he?: first red flag

-Where is the evidence of the accident? Not mentioned, second red flag

-She gets hospitalized for a month, where is the evidence? Nowhere: third red flag

-They lived in her family house supported by her parents but he has a lease with some landlord. Makes no sense, fourth red flag

-She is bedridden until June 2019 but SOMEWHAT although she is bedridden at her parents and he has to remain unemployed to be by her side at all times (although they are both students), she finds a way to cheat on him. How that can possibly happen since she is stuck in a bed and social distancing measures started right when she apparently recovered so she could not be in public spaces with anyone? Fifth red flag

-He mentioned that he would "send her money through Cash app", why would he send her money if they are living together vs paying the bills himself? Makes no sense! Oh wait but he also says before that, that they could not open a joint bank account because they both were unemployed for a year so where the heck did this money come from? Sixth red flag

-Then he could not ask her to open a joint bank account because she was in bed : Who is going to believe that? Who cannot open a bank account online? Seventh red flag (this one is glaring)

-Then we learn that he filed for FAFSA (and her too) so they basically are students and FAFSA would be the reason she does not want to have a joint account: It makes no sense as FAFSA filing is based on tax returns for which you sign an authorization and are requested directly from the IRS. Eighth red flag 

 

So see? This has NOTHING to do with the fact that he does not have a psych eval AT ALL but everything to do with the fact that his filing is literally plagued with zillions of inconsistencies and holes! Starting with the absence of a detailed affidavit from the OP himself. As a matter of fact, per the USCIS policy manual, Psych evals are NOT required. I quote the policy manual "Evidence of battery or extreme cruelty may include, but is not limited to, reports and affidavits from police, judges, medical personnel, school officials, counselors, or the CPR. CPRs seeking a waiver due to battery or extreme cruelty are not required to submit a recommendation from a mental health professional."

 

What is said here is that if one does not have affidavits from Police, judges, medical personnel, school officials or counselors then the CPR can file an affidavit for themselves and he does not mention any statement on his part.

[AT20000 38]

10 hours ago, Timona said:

@AT20000 you wasted a lot of energy on nothing. DV isn't the  reason that a case is approved faster nor quickly separated from your abuser. Not sure where in USCIS manual you read this.  

 

You seem to like taking the high road. What if USCIS rejected or asked you to add more proof of abuse? You're going to waste more time looking into that yet a simple divorce certificate would have taken care of this ROC. 

 

Abuse doesn't mean you entered a marriage in good faith and only left because you were abused. You wasted time trying to prove to immigration that you're innocent. You already had a GC. You took the high road for absolutely no reason at all. 

 

And it's election time. Approvals are being handed like cake. I personally know someone who's been approved within 3 months. Infact NYT just did a stroty on this (fast approvals) this week. 

 

All the best. 

1. The USCIS manual I read this from is the "USCIS policy manual Chapter 5 - Waiver of Joint Filing Requirement" and I would engage you to read it because you would understand that, with all due respect, most of what you are saying is inaccurate.
2. This is not a question of "high road" or proving that anyone "is innocent", you are missing the point. It is a question that if you file with a Divorce waiver, you have to have finalized your divorce before your ROC is adjudicated WHEREAS if you file for Extreme cruelty USCIS will process your application for ROC REGARDLESS OF YOUR MARITAL STATUS (you can file for ROC while still married and will NOT get a RFE requiring your final divorce decree)The USCIS Policy manual Chapter 5 is clear: "The CPR’s present marital status or living situation is also not relevant to the filing of the waiver. They may still be married to their abusive spouse, or CPR children may still be living with their abusive parent. The CPR may be divorced or separated or still residing with the petitioning spouse." So OF COURSE it is quicker since you don't have to wait on your divorce to get your ROC
3. You seem to be also hell-bent on thinking that filing under extreme cruelty for abuse is some kind of a substitute for "entering the marriage in good  faith" that's not that at all. The Extreme cruelty waiver allows you to:
   • NOT have to wait for the divorce to be finalized to have your ROC adjudicated (so it is faster because under Extreme cruelty both DIvorce and ROC run concomitantly instead of successively with Divorce waiver)
   • NOT wait for 5 years to file for naturalization like with a Divorce waiver, but for 3 years only (so you can file your N-400 almost immediately after ROC)
   • The abuser has no bearing on the immigration process (officers are prohibited from taking any feedback from the abuser or their entourage)
   • The USCIS Policy Manual establishes a much lower standard for evidence: 

     "Congress created the “any credible evidence” provision in recognition of the evidentiary challenges faced by abused spouses and children. An abused CPR may not have access to necessary evidence because the abusive spouse may control access to documents, or the abused CPR may have had to flee the abusive situation without being able to take important documents.

     In recognition of these evidentiary challenges, officers cannot deny a case because the CPR spouse or child was unable to provide a particular piece of evidence or could not demonstrate the unavailability of primary or secondary evidence. Officers must consider whatever evidence is available, use agency records, and consider all evidence in the totality of the circumstances in the case. Therefore, when adjudicating a waiver based on battery or extreme cruelty, officers consider any credible evidence relevant to the waiver request submitted by the CPR"

4. You seem to be mixing 2-year GC and 10-year GC (which is ONLY given after ROC). Yes, both are GC except that the second one has no condition attached to it.  I don't know what your reasoning is but having a 2-year GC does not guarantee AT ALL that you will be granted a ROC (10-year GC) so I am not sure what your 'High road" thing or your "You already had a GC" thing really means.
5. We are not talking about MY approval, as I was approved years ago; we are talking about all the wrong information that is being hurled at new members.
6. Re: the person you know who has been approved in 3 months under Divorce... It is 3 months AFTER the divorce is finalized (and a divorce takes about a year) so that's more or less 15 months total whereas with Extreme cruelty it would have been 3 months from the filing date of the ROC
7. I am not sure why you would assume that the risk of RFE would be greater with a Extreme cruelty waiver: The conditions (bona fide marriage) are exactly the same.

[Boiler 45,462]

i need to check but the only reason I think you would go this route is if you can not show a good faith marriage.

[Timona 4,207]

@AT20000 divorce periods vary by state. Not all take a year. 

 

I understand what you're talking about. But I'll let you continue with your path of high resistance. 

 

You must be new to VJ and immigration. There's fairly a good amount of people who divorce as soon as the first GC, whether 2 or 10, land on their hands. If 2, theysuccessfully ROC. USCIS understands that sometimes marriage doesn't work. Do you know  that with divorce, you don't need to wait for 2 years to file ROC? You can file immediately you get the divorce certificate. And if you're in a state with short divorce time eg Texas, or even in a state that takes long BUT you can project when your divorce will be final, you can file ROC with the divorce filings for the court and by the time RFE comes, you have the divorce certificate and all you just do is submit. 

 

Once again, you took a high road for no reason. What happens if you don't have proof of DV? Or USCIS asks for more? On one hand, you have 1 divorce certificate while on the other you have  mountain of papers. What do you choose? 

 

Additionally, not sure where you read that if you file with DV, USCIS isn’t allowed to talk to your ex-spouse. Do you know peoeple falsify things? DV can be falsified. Happens when people are trying to VAWA. DV or divorce, USCIS can talk to your ex. What makes you think that your story is the only truth? It can be the truth OR as I said regarding some VAWA cases, you probably were using your spouse and got "help" from your community on documenting things so as to get out of the marriage ASAP since you already got a GC. 

 

Once again, you took the long road for absolutely no reason. 

 

You have a divorce certificate but choose to not use it and go the high road. Only reason I see of why you did this is to get N400 earlier. That's your main reason. You're just lucky it's election time and approvals are coming quick, otherwise, you'd probably be waiting 1.5 years to receive word from USCIS, only maybe for them to tell you "sorry, add us more documents." Then you're are in endless loop of USCIS juggernaut. So, that fast citizenship that you were chasing now isn't coming. Now, wouldn't it have been easier just to use your divorce certificate? Divorce certificate itself doesn't require additional proof. The one proof required is for entering marriage in good faith. DV itself requires proof + the good faith items. So, if you have divorce certificate, why not use it and eliminate potential USCIS asking more stuff later? You're not the first immigrant I've come across trying to PROVE their sainthood. 

 

And check ROC timelines outside election time. They're 1.5+ years. 

 

Read and understand what @Boilerwrote above. If you don't understand, ask him. 

 

I'm out. Good luck

Edited September 28 by Timona

[Timona 4,207]

@AT20000

 

Just FYI, I'm not attacking you above. I'm trying to: 

1. Advocate for the easiest path. 

2. Debunk this myth that immigrants think they have to PROVE THEMSELVES to USCIS. The only thing one needs to prove is that they entered marriage in good faith. Proving one's innocence/self is a societal thing that is ingrained in most immigrants. Nobody cares. USCIS surely doesn't. 

[MJ&YY 131]

1 hour ago, Timona said:

You must be new to VJ and immigration.

FYI if you hover over their VJ name you'll see when their account was created (2010).

[AT20000 38]

3 hours ago, Boiler said:

i need to check but the only reason I think you would go this route is if you can not show a good faith marriage.

No, you are mistaken, entering the US in a bad-faith marriage is always fraud, why would USCIS allow for fraud? You still have to submit some level of proof that you were married in good faith.

 

Here is what the USCIS policy manual says: 

"Eligibility

CPR spouses who entered into a qualifying marriage in good faith and were battered or subjected to extreme cruelty by their petitioning spouse may request a waiver of the joint filing requirement. Additionally, if the CPR spouse is a parent of a child battered or subjected to extreme cruelty by the petitioning spouse, the CPR spouse may also apply for the waiver regardless of the child’s citizenship or immigration status."

[OldUser 6,623]

1 hour ago, AT20000 said:

No, you are mistaken, entering the US in a bad-faith marriage is always fraud, why would USCIS allow for fraud? You still have to submit some level of proof that you were married in good faith.

 

Here is what the USCIS policy manual says: 

"Eligibility

CPR spouses who entered into a qualifying marriage in good faith and were battered or subjected to extreme cruelty by their petitioning spouse may request a waiver of the joint filing requirement. Additionally, if the CPR spouse is a parent of a child battered or subjected to extreme cruelty by the petitioning spouse, the CPR spouse may also apply for the waiver regardless of the child’s citizenship or immigration status."

Good points there.

[AT20000 38]

3 hours ago, Timona said:

@AT20000

 

Just FYI, I'm not attacking you above. I'm trying to: 

1. Advocate for the easiest path. 

2. Debunk this myth that immigrants think they have to PROVE THEMSELVES to USCIS. The only thing one needs to prove is that they entered marriage in good faith. Proving one's innocence/self is a societal thing that is ingrained in most immigrants. Nobody cares. USCIS surely doesn't. 

Let me try again (for the sake of the other members in a domestic violence relationship): There is NO "One size fits all" and pushing a divorce waiver on someone who is in a DV situation can even be absolutely catastrophic.

• IF you were in a good-faith marriage and you divorce a spouse who is somewhat behaving normally i.e.: Your spouse is not trying to use your immigration status to twist your arm and force you to accept things that are against your own interests because they know that you have a certain time to file for your ROC, it is indeed easier and I agree with you, Divorce waiver is the road.
• What you really do not want to understand (why such resistance from someone who preaches "the easier path"?) is that Domestic Violence is about power and control and when you are married to an abusive spouse THEY WILL use everything they can to take revenge because you are leaving them. That includes but not limited to;
  • Taking away, hiding, or destroying your official documents: Passport, previous divorce decree, marriage certificate, green card, etc without which you will NEVER EVER get approved under a Divorce waiver. Let's be clear at this point: You would have absolutely ZERO chance to get approved under a Divorce visa without those documents so Divorce waiver "Easier" in this case? Certainly NOT! I would go as far as saying that pushing a member on such route is extremely and maybe permanently damaging to them. Extreme cruelty waiver, on the other hand requires more flexibility from the officer who, per USCIS policy, will have to consider the documents that were filed previously during the AOS.
  • Trying to "get you kicked out" of the country (make a research on this on this forum and you'll see how many "well-meaning" US citizen spouses are saying this) by writing to USCIS or having friends and family do so on their behalf. They can do that under a Divorce waiver, they cannot do that under an Extreme cruelty waiver because it is actually prohibited for the adjudicating officer to consider ANYTHING coming from the abuser or their entourage. They cannot communicate with them, accept documents or testimonies
  • Trying to use your immigration deadline to their advantage to coerce you. Under a divorce waiver, your independence and your ability to stand up for your rights in the divorce has an expiration date. This expiration date is your extension deadline and abusers (and their lawyers) KNOW that. They WILL use it to their advantage by forcing their agenda because they are in no rush to divorce you: You are in a rush because you NEED the divorce decree for the ROC. So they WILL drag it until your extension runs out with the immigration and at this point, they will go: "Your extension expires in a month, I will continue the divorce litigation in court until you no longer have a legal immigration status in the country UNLESS you sign off on a divorce agreement that removes all mention of Domestic violence, gives you $0 alimony, gives me sole custody of our kids with no holidays visitation for you and only 48 hours supervised visitation, supervised by me, per month provided you are never leaving the county where I reside". At this point, the ONLY choice you have is to sign this.

                    Under an extreme cruelty waiver, you know what you do? You smile and you say: "Hell NO; I don't need a                              divorce decree to get a ROC so sc*** you, I am neither signing this nor leaving my kids with an abuser".

 

There. So now please go ahead and explain rationally HOW a divorce waiver could be "easier" than an extreme cruelty waiver on a person who is confronted to this behavior? Unless they don't give a rat a** about their kids, a Divorce waiver is nowhere near easier and far more dangerous because it maintains a victim under the thumb of an abuser for the rest of their life (unless they give up their kids and go back to their home country) Period full stop.

 

Ah and I am not new to VJ, I have been on here for 14 years. I just don't go with the "status quo" where one starts saying "Divorce waiver is the easiest" and everybody parrots the same thing like a cult, throwing DV victims under the bus without ever wondering: "Is it really easier in such situation?", overtly abusing members in DV situations in some cases and even going as far as suggesting (right @Boiler ?) that people who file under Extreme Cruelty waiver are doing so because they can't prove that they entered the marriage in good faith. Every year, 16 800 people die from Domestic Violence in the US, in 80% of the cases those people were abused in another way (emotional, financial) before their death, so how dare you?

Edited September 28 by AT20000
spelling

[AT20000 38]

4 hours ago, Timona said:

@AT20000

 

Additionally, not sure where you read that if you file with DV, USCIS isn’t allowed to talk to your ex-spouse. Do you know peoeple falsify things? DV can be falsified. Happens when people are trying to VAWA. DV or divorce, USCIS can talk to your ex. What makes you think that your story is the only truth? It can be the truth OR as I said regarding some VAWA cases, you probably were using your spouse and got "help" from your community on documenting things so as to get out of the marriage ASAP since you already got a GC. 

 

Read and understand what @Boilerwrote above. If you don't understand, ask him. 

 

I'm out. Good luck

Yes so saying you "are not sure" where I read this doesn't make you right. Let me explain: as it stands this very statement proves that you do not check official sources before stating something which makes me reiterate that you should definitely read the USCIS Policy Manual as PER LAW it is actually PROHIBITED for the USCIS inspectors to take into consideration anything your abuser says to make an adverse decision... The abuser, their friends and family are considered "prohibited source" by the USCIS. Yep, that's how inaccurate you are.

 

In addition, your motive for "advising" Victims on Extreme Cruelty waiver are now poking through "you probably were using your spouse and got "help" from your community on documenting things so as to get out of the marriage ASAP since you already got a GC". That's a pretty steep accusation of fraud my dear... Isn't it?

USCIS is Federal Government, those are FED agents (Feds as in FBI) and somehow, being on this forum led you to think that you are oh-so better than the Feds at investigating people and more accurately judging whether I was "Using my spouse"? 😂 I am laughing because someone who is currently following this conversation knows my case as I shared the details of my file with them and they are texting me laughing...

 

So here is what the law says, I quote: "In accordance with 8 U.S.C. 1367, USCIS protects the confidentiality of any information concerning an abused CPR spouse or child, including, but not limited to, information regarding the whereabouts of the spouse or child or whether the abused CPR spouse or child has filed a waiver based on battery or extreme cruelty.[

Officers are prohibited from making an adverse determination of admissibility, deportability, or removability on a protected person using information furnished solely by a prohibited source. The officer must not use information provided by the following prohibited sources to make an adverse determination:

The abuser, or perpetrator of the offense; 

Family member of the abuser; or 

Someone acting at the request of the abuser."

 

So please if you think that all people who consider filing for Extreme cruelty or VAWA are "Using their spouse" don't send them into a wall until you muster the courage to confront your bias to the reality by going to a domestic violence association and sitting down to hear people's stories. Take a few box of kleenex and some vomiting bags because what you are going to hear is not only going to turn your stomach upside down, if you have one bit of decency left in you, it will also make you hate yourself for having been so callous and biased.