Age gap plus online marriage.

[MattJoy 1]

Hello everyone. I am new to this forum . I would like advice and assistance. I am 71 years young from UK and my SO is 58 USA . We have been talking online for 2 years and are in love . I will be going to see him this year for the first time . 
we have been thinking about marriage and the immigration process. He is divorced and I a widow . I got advice from a consultant not a lawyer. 
My SO and I would like to marry online because 

• it eliminates the stress of spending money we just don’t have we are on a fixed income it is economical
• . it also manages complex logistics bringing family together from different countries.
• I don’t risk breaking immigration laws 
• My SO has some disability’s that restrict his mobility.

the consultant said that I was too old which was rude and that marrying online looks suspicious no matter the reasoning. 
 

can I get a second opinion am I too old and is marrying online a red flag given the reasoning ?

[Boiler 45,443]

I have seen older. 

 

There tends to be more practical issues especially if money is an issue, no NHS.

 

Why can you not marry in the US?

[MattJoy 1]

Good day , 

 

I am glad that my age is no issue I was very upset it was very rude .
 

I am going to USA on Esta visa to see him and it is a tourist visa I can’t marry him on a tourist visa .
I plan to come back home after my visit and settle a few issues to move to my SO in USA . it is cheap to marry online and very convenient for us as we can video with all the family . 

[Family 3,988]

Are you suggesting that you intend to marry online before you come and meet him “ for the first time” ? 

‘When do you plan on marrying and where do you anticipate each one of you will be during the zoom marriage? 
 

I can imagine an officer being extra cautious with your case…if they get the sense you may be vulnerable to online romance scams , in part due to your age. 
 

 

 

[Cw1977 100]

1 hour ago, MattJoy said:

Good day , 

 

I am glad that my age is no issue I was very upset it was very rude .
 

I am going to USA on Esta visa to see him and it is a tourist visa I can’t marry him on a tourist visa .
I plan to come back home after my visit and settle a few issues to move to my SO in USA . it is cheap to marry online and very convenient for us as we can video with all the family . 

hi

 

just to point out you absolutely can get married on a tourist visit (ESTA) and many people on here, including me did exactly that. 
 

you just have to come home after your tourist visit and then file the proper paperwork to start the process to move

[Boiler 45,443]

Op will be entering on the VWP, not ESTA and not a Visa.

 

They certainly could use Utah.

[MattJoy 1]

2 hours ago, Family said:

Are you suggesting that you intend to marry online before you come and meet him “ for the first time” ? 

‘When do you plan on marrying and where do you anticipate each one of you will be during the zoom marriage? 
 

I can imagine an officer being extra cautious with your case…if they get the sense you may be vulnerable to online romance scams , in part due to your age. 
 

 

 

Good day , 

 

we plan to marry after our first meeting we have been talking for just over 2 years now so it is a very exciting time .  My SO is a very good man he is an American citizen with no motive to exploit me and I am a British citizen. 
 

we want to marry next year my SO will be in his home USA I will be at at mine in UK . 

[Family 3,988]

7 hours ago, MattJoy said:

Good day , 

 

we plan to marry after our first meeting we have been talking for just over 2 years now so it is a very exciting time .  My SO is a very good man he is an American citizen with no motive to exploit me and I am a British citizen. 
 

we want to marry next year my SO will be in his home USA I will be at at mine in UK . 

Your plan will require another visit after the online marriage before he can file . 
As noted by @Cw1977, you can marry in US during your visit. So if in person meeting goes well, you could throw caution to the wind and tie the knot on 1st visit. ..even using zoom wedding , so family can participate. Since you will be in the same place, he can file immediately. 
 

BUT, even if you are head over heels in love…be careful . Long distance relationships are stress tested when couples actually spend 24/7 reality time together. 

[MattJoy 1]

13 minutes ago, Family said:

Your plan will require another visit after the online marriage before he can file . 
As noted by @Cw1977, you can marry in US during your visit. So if in person meeting goes well, you could throw caution to the wind and tie the knot on 1st visit. ..even using zoom wedding , so family can participate. Since you will be in the same place, he can file immediately. 
 

BUT, even if you are head over heels in love…be careful . Long distance relationships are stress tested when couples actually spend 24/7 reality time together. 

Good day 

 

I was told it is illegal to marry on visa waver program and if I do I can never return to the USA . I would love a small courthouse wedding his family are lovely people. 

[Boiler 45,443]

1 minute ago, MattJoy said:

Good day 

 

I was told it is illegal to marry on visa waver program and if I do I can never return to the USA . I would love a small courthouse wedding his family are lovely people. 

By whom?

[MattJoy 1]

Just now, Boiler said:

By whom?

The man who consulted us on the visa process. 

[Crazy Cat 41,808]

4 minutes ago, MattJoy said:

The man who consulted us on the visa process. 

He is wrong.  You can marry while inside the US via VWP.  You just can't legally enter the US as a visitor with the intent to stay and live in the US.

Edited September 23 by Crazy Cat

[Lil bear 4,181]

9 minutes ago, MattJoy said:

Good day 

 

I was told it is illegal to marry on visa waver program and if I do I can never return to the USA . I would love a small courthouse wedding his family are lovely people. 

Scratch those advice givers off your trusted list. No matter who they are. 
 

There is a lot of solid information on the official USCIS websites. It can take quite some time to get the full information clear  in your head .. so do lots of research there and come back here to ask any further questions .. 

 

US health care is very different to

 UK… So please make sure your  SO does v good research and has s plan for providing you with good health care insurance once you are here. 

[Crazy Cat 41,808]

37 minutes ago, Lil bear said:

US health care is very different to

 UK… So please make sure your  SO does v good research and has s plan for providing you with good health care insurance once you are here.

Good point.  OP won't qualify for Medicare until after 1 year of marriage to a US citizen/LPR who has 40+ quarters of qualifying work credit ...and after US working spouse is 62 years old. 

Edited September 23 by Crazy Cat

[Boiler 45,443]

OP is showing NY as a location which is different, even so the US system can be a shock.