Cat help.... please!? :(

[featherB 1]

Okay, so... I've done a ton of Googling to find advice on this, and am trying everything I can from what I've read... but as there are so many cat-loving VJers out there, I thought it couldn't hurt to ask here too, and see if anyone might have some tips or suggestions from personal experience.

We adopted two cats on Monday (yay!), and they are utterly fantastic, adorable, loving little purry things. Both boys (neutered, obviously... and they're not brothers but they think they are, 'cos they were hand-reared together by a volunteer from the shelter from two days old), and they're 10/11 months old now. One seems to have settled in perfectly, pretty much from the minute we got them home... while the other is taking a bit longer. Which is fine, and totally understandable... the only problem is that he has a tendency to meow in a blood-curdling fashion when the mood takes him, and the mood quite often takes him at 2am/4am/etc - and I'm really scared that it will disturb the neighbours (we live in an aparment, and this meowing is LOUD!) and they'll complain, or that my husband will get so sick of the yelling cat and lack of sleep that he'll say we can't keep him anymore.

Everything I've read so far basically says to ignore meowing that's being done for attention (and I'm certain that's what this is - well, that and the fact that the place is still unfamiliar to him, of course - because he does it when he happens to find himself alone somewhere in the flat, and will stop immediately and go back to being perfectly happy if one of us goes to 'find' him, or on the occasions when it occurs to him to come and 'find' us himself - he'll run meowing into the room and then be just fine when he gets to us), and to use earplugs if necessary at night. So, I've been ignoring it when he does it during the day, and it does seem to be working to an extent... each day it will happen less and less as the day goes on, and the length of time that he's meowing before he either comes to find me, or just gives up yelling, is getting less and less each time too. So that's good...

When he starts with the blood-curdling caterwauling at night, though, I'm SO worried the neighbours can hear... and as for the 'ignore the meowing to teach the cat that it won't get him attention' lesson... well, he will shut up after a bit if ignored (again, he either gets sick of waiting for us to come to him and runs in to us, having surely known full well where we were all along, or he just gets bored and stops meowing after a while), but more often than not my husband will call out to him, tell him to shut up, or get up and find him to shush him. So I'm not sure how that's helping to reinforce the 'lesson'...!

His other 'favourite' time for a big meow-fest seems to be first thing in the morning, while my husband's getting ready for work, and until maybe half an hour after he's gone, at which point he'll finally stop it for a bit (I don't mean he meows CONSTANTLY for that time, but he will stop only to start again a couple of minutes later, no matter how much ignoring he gets!)... and please don't think I want him to be quiet all the time and never make a sound (his 'brother' is pretty talkative when he wants to be, and will give a little meowy running commentary as he explores the apartment), it's just that we'd like to find a way to stop him doing the howling & caterwauling thing - he honestly sounds like we're doing something dreadful to him, when all he's really meowing about is the fact that one of us has dared to walk out of the living room and go into the bathroom or something!

Other than the problem with his overactive vocal cords, he's an absolutely perfect, amazingly lovely little cat.... I am SO glad we chose these two, and am generally in love with them. But... after all that super-long rambling... does anyone have ANY suggestions as to what else we might be able to try apart from ignoring him when he starts up with the wailing (and of course giving him plenty of attention whenever he's being quiet - I'm not suggesting I ignore him all day and night, far from it - I'm feeling bad 'cos he's getting more attention than his 'brother', just because he's being the 'problem child' right now!).... sorry for the long post, but I'd love to hear anything anyone can suggest - or just any reassurance that he WILL give it a rest eventually!

Right... I'm off to play with my lovely furry (quiet!) cats for a bit!

[trailmix 77]

Hi there,

I have 1 cat and she didn't/doesn't do this all the time, but I do know exactly what you are talking about as she has done it twice. Both times were times when she was scared (once when we were renovating the house next door and I thought she would like a field trip and another time when she was having a bath - not a good idea).

I don't really have any great advice to offer, but it seems to me that if he is scared it's not a bad thing to give him attention? I understand someone might give advice to ignore it if it is just 'meowing' for attention, by ignoring this I guess it would teach them that meowing isn't a big attention-getter.

That said, if the kitty is scared and gets ignored, what does it learn?

Please know I'm not being judgemental about the ignoring thing, I know you love your kitties and are trying to do the best for them - just my thoughts.

[mawilson 2,133]

Call 1-800-MAGS-MEOW

[Dr_LHA 3]

The Solution in Pictures:

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[vanee 13]

Knowing the reason for the meowing would help a lot, but it's hard to know for sure.

As you said, meowing for attention should be ignored. Some other possibilities:

- The cat is bored.

- The cat has a physical problem.

- The cat has a hearing problem.

To help reduce boredom, have a lot of cat toys around the home. Rotate the toys so that the cat doesn't get bored with the same ones. Also a good scratching post and a perch provide more activities for the cat.

As you probably know, not all cat toys have to be shop-bought. A crumpled-up piece of paper, for example, can be great fun.

It doesn't sound like a physical problem, but you could ask your vet to check the cat if you think it's a possibility.

Meowing loudly can be a problem with older cats when their hearing is going. They can't hear themselves as well, so they meow more loudly. That probably isn't the problem with a kitten.

I'd go with as much entertainment as you can come up with.

[featherB 1]

Hi there,

I have 1 cat and she didn't/doesn't do this all the time, but I do know exactly what you are talking about as she has done it twice. Both times were times when she was scared (once when we were renovating the house next door and I thought she would like a field trip and another time when she was having a bath - not a good idea).

I don't really have any great advice to offer, but it seems to me that if he is scared it's not a bad thing to give him attention? I understand someone might give advice to ignore it if it is just 'meowing' for attention, by ignoring this I guess it would teach them that meowing isn't a big attention-getter.

That said, if the kitty is scared and gets ignored, what does it learn?

Please know I'm not being judgemental about the ignoring thing, I know you love your kitties and are trying to do the best for them - just my thoughts.

Yeah, this is all very true - obviously don't want the poor little thing to be meowing away, terrified... I just don't want to encourage him to think the howling and yelling is a good idea, either. But when I walk 5 feet away from him into another room (hmmm... not even another room, really - this place is open-plan and none of the 'rooms' have proper walls, even - it's all one big door-free apartment, really!) and on the count of three, he can be guaranteed to start wailing... is he really scared? I don't know. Having said that, he *is* getting better, and it's not as though he does it all day long... he was fine for a couple of hours earlier, just relaxing on the bed with his 'brother', playing with me, letting me carry him around the apartment, purring thunderously all the while.... then about 10 minutes ago I walked down here to the living room (something I've been doing on and off for the last couple of hours, without him seeming to mind), and rather than follow me he started howling like he was being tortured! I gritted my teeth and sat here without reacting... after about 30 seconds I heard the meows getting louder and closer, and he came running in here. Now he's just sitting around here with me, and seems perfectly happy... right now he's virtually sitting on the keyboard, in fact, and is watching me type this with interest - I think he's watching the words appear on the screen as I type!

Thank you for the reply... an5tt (oops, cat typing!), and I don't mind the comments about the ignoring at all - I feel bad doing it, so would love to know whether other people think it's a good idea or not!

[featherB 1]

Call 1-800-MAGS-MEOW

I was kind of hoping Mags might happen across this thread and have some sage advice. I could also let the meower himself reply, as he has just developed a keen interest in my keyboard... specifically, standing on it.

The Solution in Pictures:

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Dr_LHA, you are a bad, bad man.

Oh, thanks for the boooooooos, by the way!

[sara535 15]

he's codependent! I have one of those also and he HAS tapered off over time. I know you are worried about the nightime thing but I dont have a suggestion except maybe you can shut him in the room with you when you go to bed? of course that would mean you ahve to bring in the food, cat box, etc, but its the only thing I can think of. As he grows up I am sure it will pass but thats a lot of crying between now and then......

[Jason-Sasha 1]

sounds like a horny cat to me. Even those who have been fixed get frisky.. Or perhaps he's just telling you he has a problem.

[almaty 19]

Q-tips

[Dr_LHA 3]

Dr_LHA, you are a bad, bad man.

Well if you have second thoughts I have a good method of drowned cat revival:

[no name 1]

call a vet?

[featherB 1]

Knowing the reason for the meowing would help a lot, but it's hard to know for sure.

As you said, meowing for attention should be ignored. Some other possibilities:

- The cat is bored.

- The cat has a physical problem.

- The cat has a hearing problem.

To help reduce boredom, have a lot of cat toys around the home. Rotate the toys so that the cat doesn't get bored with the same ones. Also a good scratching post and a perch provide more activities for the cat.

As you probably know, not all cat toys have to be shop-bought. A crumpled-up piece of paper, for example, can be great fun.

It doesn't sound like a physical problem, but you could ask your vet to check the cat if you think it's a possibility.

Meowing loudly can be a problem with older cats when their hearing is going. They can't hear themselves as well, so they meow more loudly. That probably isn't the problem with a kitten.

I'd go with as much entertainment as you can come up with.

Hmm, interesting points (thank you! ) - I hadn't read that excessively loud meowing could be down to a hearing problem, so that's an interesting one to think about... although I'd be very very surprised if that was it - so far he's amazed me with how good his hearing seems to be. I know cats have good hearing anyway, but he's forever looking in the direction of even the tiniest sound from out in the hallway, etc etc, and knows my husband is home about 10 seconds before I hear his key in the lock - he must hear him walking all the way from the elevators. But anyway, thanks for the tip about the possibility of it being a physical problem... I do hope not (and like you, I really don't think it is - he doesn't do it at all if one or other of us is in the room with him, he's perfectly happy), but will be taking them both to the vet next week for a check-up anyway, just to make sure they're in as perfect health as they seem to be!

Oh, as for the possibility that he's bored... yeah, that makes sense for the night-time meowing - in the day, he gets so much attention and game-playing etc that he's probably sick of it (nah, he loves it!), and I'm sure if we'd get up to hang out with him when he starts yowling at 4am, he'd be perfectly content too. There's no end of climbing and playing and toys for him to occupy himself with if he's bored in the night, but maybe he wants us (or his brother) to join in with him.... hmmm. Obviously we're not about to get up and start playing 'chase the scrunchy ball of paper' (he loves that ) in the middle of the night, but maybe he just wants SOMEONE to play with at any given moment... unfortunately for him, his brother is mostly content to lay snoring on the bed with us. That could actually be the problem in the morning, too.... my husband gets up to get ready for work, which the poor cat probably thinks MUST mean it's time for playing... whereas I sleep in for about half an hour while he's getting ready, and the non-meowy cat is even more reluctant to wake up than I am, he just sprawls there contemplating whether he might like to get up anytime in the next hour... probably very frustrating for his brother if he wants to play!

Hmm, that's given me lots to think about..... I'm sure he'd be absolutely fine and wouldn't meow at all if we'd just be 'with' him all the time... but it could be that he's just really bored and wants someone to pay attention to him in the night. He also probably misses being in a room at the cat shelter with about 20 other cats - always someone to bother! Not sure how to solve that one...!

[featherB 1]

he's codependent! I have one of those also and he HAS tapered off over time. I know you are worried about the nightime thing but I dont have a suggestion except maybe you can shut him in the room with you when you go to bed? of course that would mean you ahve to bring in the food, cat box, etc, but its the only thing I can think of. As he grows up I am sure it will pass but thats a lot of crying between now and then......

Hmmm, this does actually sound just like him... I think if we could shut him in the room with us, and he wouldn't find himself in another room on his own, he would probably be fine. OK, he'd probably be trying to wake us up, but he wouldn't be wailing... sadly this whole place is open-plan and there's no way of shutting him in with us - he's very welcome to be in there, but there's nothing we can do to stop him wandering off and then thinking 'where am I? where is everyone? WAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!' in the wee small hours!

[pj1959us 0]

Try not to ignore him too much...he does still need to feel reassured and comfortable; hopefully once he's lived with you longer it will ease somewhat. Cats do normally "talk" to you to tell you when something is wrong and it can be difficult to figure out what it is, especially when the other cat(s) seems fine.

None of our other cats (and I've had a gazillion) have ever caused such a commotion but our deaf cat wails like he's being kicked or beaten all the time...are you sure yours isn't deaf? None of our other cats have ever wailed like he does. When Frankie (the deaf one) awakens, it is especially loud. He seems frightened and patrols the house looking for someone and when he finds us or the kids then he usually stops (although he does still like to have a conversation for a while).

Cats do still tend to be nocturnal, even when always inside the house, and he could also be searching for "prey" or still getting used to his new environment. Each becomes comfortable in their own time. Frankie still awakens us with his sultry tones at 3-4am, and when he finds us he graces us with his presence including but not limited to, jumping on our chests and laying down for a good purr. He just needs a good cuddle sometimes and he also HATES closed doors; he will bang on it and wail until it's opened. He will tuck into all sinks, baskets and boxes, sleep upside down in the most unwelcome of places and LOVES the vacuum cleaner (he'll follow you and continually lay upside down for you to run the vacuum hose over his tummy).

Frankie is one of the most bizarre cats I've ever lived with, and definitely the orneriest, but it's hard not to love him.

Here's Frankie, one of our treasures: