Things are moving way faster than we expected, but it's not a bad thing

[hmwtx 9]

Okay, backstory:

I met my now husband in December 2023.  He was already in the US, working under an EAD secondary to a student visa (I forget that acronym right now, the one where they approve you to work for a while in your field once you graduate)...  He is a citizen of Singapore.  We started dating, we're both middle-aged people (I'm now 49, he's 52), and when you know, you know.  Facing the end of his student visa and a sudden loss of his work visa (the organization he had been working for had started that process, but dropped it when a new battalion chief was appointed who decided to kill all of that sort of effort.  No comment on what we think of that guy), we decided to get married and file for a green card.  So we did, just under the wire - we filed with a FedEx that arrived at the Texas processing center on 3/29/24.

 

We got our notification of acceptance shortly after, about mid-May.  He got his EAD and Advance Parole card (singular, it's a combination card) in the mail at the beginning of July.  We got notified on Friday 7/19/24 that they had scheduled the interview, we both got emails about "action has been taken on your application."  We're waiting to get the appointment letter in the mail.

 

We're not afraid of the interview, we are "really" married - for love, not for any other reason.  He has moved into my house, we still hold his place out in the country but at this point it's more of a long-weekend getaway than a residence.  He put me on one of his credit card accounts, mostly because he has an insane obsession with points and wants me to buy gas from Sam's, and I put him on one of my checking accounts, but other than that we haven't really worried too much about comingling finances, we're cash people moreso than credit people and the only big debts are in my name - the mortgage on my house and my car.  He owns his property and vehicle outright.  Mutual wills is probably next, but we haven't done that quite yet.  We don't have a ton of photos - there are snapshots of the wedding (at the county courthouse), the lunch with my family after (all of his family is overseas), a couple of other parties or family get-togethers.  He has met most of my very large family, I have talked to his on video chat but never met them, his "sister" lives in San Francisco, his brother lives in Kuala Lumpur and his mom in Singapore, and we were waiting on his advance parole to be able to plan a trip over there together.  So that's on the horizon.  We have grand plans to work off the mortgage on my house in five or six years, and build "our" permanent house on land just outside the city so I can continue working, mostly because it would drive me nuts to retire so early.  We spend most of our free time now tending to our "children" - the plants in my backyard garden and the ones on his rural property.  They can act like toddlers sometimes, refuse to do what you want them to and continually demand food and water.

 

The only tiny concern I have is that we did all of this in a very short time - and now the process is moving way faster than we expected it would, and we're already at the interview stage.  I hope that an interviewer will be able to understand that we took the leap because "when you know, you know" and not for some nefarious reason.  I mean, I married this man to make it possible for me to keep him in my life on a daily basis, because I knew we had long-term potential.  And things are working out well.  We annoy each other here and there, but we have never really fought about anything.  We have similar taste in music, movies, television, books.  We have similar senses of humor and similar ideas about how to run a household.  We are both intolerant of drama and level headed.  This is why I decided to marry him and stay married to him - not just so he can get a visa/green card.  That is paperwork we need, not the end goal of our partnership.  And yes, it was done quickly, but I don't think that should make a difference?

[SalishSea 17,829]

1 hour ago, hmwtx said:

Okay, backstory:

I met my now husband in December 2023.  He was already in the US, working under an EAD secondary to a student visa (I forget that acronym right now, the one where they approve you to work for a while in your field once you graduate)...  He is a citizen of Singapore.  We started dating, we're both middle-aged people (I'm now 49, he's 52), and when you know, you know.  Facing the end of his student visa and a sudden loss of his work visa (the organization he had been working for had started that process, but dropped it when a new battalion chief was appointed who decided to kill all of that sort of effort.  No comment on what we think of that guy), we decided to get married and file for a green card.  So we did, just under the wire - we filed with a FedEx that arrived at the Texas processing center on 3/29/24.

 

We got our notification of acceptance shortly after, about mid-May.  He got his EAD and Advance Parole card (singular, it's a combination card) in the mail at the beginning of July.  We got notified on Friday 7/19/24 that they had scheduled the interview, we both got emails about "action has been taken on your application."  We're waiting to get the appointment letter in the mail.

 

We're not afraid of the interview, we are "really" married - for love, not for any other reason.  He has moved into my house, we still hold his place out in the country but at this point it's more of a long-weekend getaway than a residence.  He put me on one of his credit card accounts, mostly because he has an insane obsession with points and wants me to buy gas from Sam's, and I put him on one of my checking accounts, but other than that we haven't really worried too much about comingling finances, we're cash people moreso than credit people and the only big debts are in my name - the mortgage on my house and my car.  He owns his property and vehicle outright.  Mutual wills is probably next, but we haven't done that quite yet.  We don't have a ton of photos - there are snapshots of the wedding (at the county courthouse), the lunch with my family after (all of his family is overseas), a couple of other parties or family get-togethers.  He has met most of my very large family, I have talked to his on video chat but never met them, his "sister" lives in San Francisco, his brother lives in Kuala Lumpur and his mom in Singapore, and we were waiting on his advance parole to be able to plan a trip over there together.  So that's on the horizon.  We have grand plans to work off the mortgage on my house in five or six years, and build "our" permanent house on land just outside the city so I can continue working, mostly because it would drive me nuts to retire so early.  We spend most of our free time now tending to our "children" - the plants in my backyard garden and the ones on his rural property.  They can act like toddlers sometimes, refuse to do what you want them to and continually demand food and water.

 

The only tiny concern I have is that we did all of this in a very short time - and now the process is moving way faster than we expected it would, and we're already at the interview stage.  I hope that an interviewer will be able to understand that we took the leap because "when you know, you know" and not for some nefarious reason.  I mean, I married this man to make it possible for me to keep him in my life on a daily basis, because I knew we had long-term potential.  And things are working out well.  We annoy each other here and there, but we have never really fought about anything.  We have similar taste in music, movies, television, books.  We have similar senses of humor and similar ideas about how to run a household.  We are both intolerant of drama and level headed.  This is why I decided to marry him and stay married to him - not just so he can get a visa/green card.  That is paperwork we need, not the end goal of our partnership.  And yes, it was done quickly, but I don't think that should make a difference?

I don't see any issues here at all.  Singapore is a low fraud country. 

 

 Our situation was similar: we are in our 50s, I already owned my house and we never refinanced/ added husband to the deed etc.  No issues or RFEs for AOS or ROC.  We have never submitted snapshots with any of our petitions.  

 

Do you have any shared insurance policies, or have you named each other as beneficiaries for retirement/investment accounts?  

[hmwtx 9]

43 minutes ago, SalishSea said:

I don't see any issues here at all.  Singapore is a low fraud country. 

 

 Our situation was similar: we are in our 50s, I already owned my house and we never refinanced/ added husband to the deed etc.  No issues or RFEs for AOS or ROC.  We have never submitted snapshots with any of our petitions.  

 

Do you have any shared insurance policies, or have you named each other as beneficiaries for retirement/investment accounts?  

 

Thank you for the perspective!

 

I added him to my investment account and a company-paid life insurance policy, not yet my 401K because I just became eligible in my current job (I have only been with this firm for 13 months and you are eligible at 12), but I'll be putting him on that when I register my account.  He is currently looking for a new job in the city where we live, so he doesn't have any such accounts to mess with, yet.

 

I feel like we're fine, no fraud exists here so no fraud for them to uncover.  I appreciate the support, though!