[Master Thread] Attempted Trump Assassination (Including attempt on Sept 15, 2024)

[TBoneTX 45,258]

'Welp, Nothing We Can Do Now,' Sighs Secret Service After Assassin Climbs On Modestly Sloped Roof

 

[...] "What?  Oh no.  Not again…" groaned Agent Kelly Crimsone, rolling her eyes as the would-be assassin scaled a mildly-sloped roof, eluding the clutches of three Secret Service members.  "What do we do now, over?  Where are we going, over?  How are we going to get this guy, headquarters?  He's on a sloped roof!"

 

"Just get him!" came the order from the powers that be.  "Wait, hold up…he's on a roof?  Abort, abort, over!  Do not, I repeat, DO NOT get on that roof, especially if it is in any way inclined or sloped, over!"  [...]

 

https://babylonbee.com/news/welp-nothing-we-can-do-now-sighs-secret-service-after-assassin-climbs-on-modestly-sloped-roof

[Dashinka 24,480]

8 hours ago, TBoneTX said:

I doubt that anyone can refute these good points or answer the fair questions.  Comments?

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Biden's Team Deliberately Kneecapped Trump’s Security To Allow An Assassination Attempt

 

They kept the rooftop open, watched the shooter, kept Trump on the stage, and didn't do a damn thing until after he had been shot.  And we're supposed to believe it was an innocent oopsie?  [...]

 

https://thefederalist.com/2024/07/16/bidens-team-deliberately-kneecapped-trumps-security-to-allow-an-assassination-attempt/

You know, I used to say the rot in the bureaucracy was at the top, but it seems to be going down to the ranks.  I cannot imagine what my officer would have said back when I was fighting fires that I did not want to go on the roof since it was sloped.  Kim Cheatle, the Dr. First Lady. Dr. Jill Biden appointee must resign in disgrace, and she should be stripped of any retirement or any other public benefits for her response to this, and any other USSS officer that was in a decision making position on the ground should also be given the same treatment.  There is no way the Federal bureaucracy can be trusted anymore, and accountability should begin.  Now I am not holding my breath as accountability is one thing that lacks in DC particularly with the bureaucrats.  

[TBoneTX 45,258]

16 hours ago, Dashinka said:

You know, I used to say the rot in the bureaucracy was at the top, but it seems to be going down to the ranks.  I cannot imagine what my officer would have said back when I was fighting fires that I did not want to go on the roof since it was sloped.  Kim Cheatle, the Dr. First Lady. Dr. Jill Biden appointee must resign in disgrace, and she should be stripped of any retirement or any other public benefits for her response to this, and any other USSS officer that was in a decision making position on the ground should also be given the same treatment.  There is no way the Federal bureaucracy can be trusted anymore, and accountability should begin.  Now I am not holding my breath as accountability is one thing that lacks in DC particularly with the bureaucrats.  

The above merits enshrinement in the pantheon of All-Time Greatest VJ Posts.  Bravo!

[TBoneTX 45,258]

Trump Disappointed Nurse Didn't Give Him The Dinosaur Bandage

 

[...] According to multiple sources, Trump specifically requested a dinosaur bandage for his wounded ear while being treated at the emergency room of Butler Memorial Hospital following the attempt on his life at a campaign rally Saturday evening but complained later on after being given a regular white dressing.

 

"Sad.  Very sad.  I asked for the T-rex," Trump reportedly murmured to members of his inner circle.  "The dinosaur bandage would have been cool.  Very cool.  All the best people get dinosaur bandages.  That's what they say.  I wanted one.  The nurse looked and said [...]

 

https://babylonbee.com/news/trump-disappointed-nurse-didnt-give-him-the-dinosaur-bandage

[TBoneTX 45,258]

Want To Be A Secret Service Agent?  Here Are The 12 Job Requirements

 

[...] We at the Babylon Bee have compiled a list of the 12 requirements that Secret Service recruiters are looking for.  Do you measure up?  [...]

 

https://babylonbee.com/news/want-to-be-a-secret-service-agent-here-are-the-12-job-requirements

[TBoneTX 45,258]

Goliath Claims He Only Lost Because He Fought David On Slightly Sloped Surface

 

VALLEY OF ELAH — Archaeological findings from the Judean Foothills have just shed new light on the story of David and Goliath, revealing that Goliath claimed to have lost merely because he happened to be fighting David on a slightly sloping hill.

A newly unearthed and partly translated scroll purports to give a ring-side account of the end of the battle between the two and includes Goliath's last words [...]

 

https://babylonbee.com/news/goliath-claims-he-only-lost-because-he-was-fighting-david-on-slightly-sloped-surface

[Crazy Cat 41,810]

On 7/17/2024 at 5:46 AM, Dashinka said:

There is no way the Federal bureaucracy can be trusted anymore, and accountability should begin. 

Maybe starting on Nov 5th and in January......certainly won't start before.

[TBoneTX 45,258]

The clearest description and the biggest reaming.  Worth reading.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Secret Service Is Clear and Present Threat to Democracy

 

[...] The reason I didn't say anything about this jaw-dropping security failure is because after something like this happens, we become a news cycle full of nonsense.  Well, now that we know what we know, it is obvious that the U.S. Secret Service is a clear and present danger to our democracy.  [...]

 

https://www.breitbart.com/politics/2024/07/18/nolte-secret-service-clear-present-threat-democracy/

[Dashinka 24,480]

I love LibsofTikTok.

 

 

[Boiler 45,445]

 

I have one more where people who know discuss the shooting.

[Boiler 45,445]

This an hour but does go into the consequences of Progressive policies and the Assassination attempt.

 

 

[Ban Hammer 13,327]

 

[TBoneTX 45,258]

There's *ANOTHER* Disturbing Update on the Trump Assassination Attempt

 

It keeps getting worse:  Thomas Matthew Crooks, 20, who attempted to assassinate former President Donald Trump on July 13 in Butler, Pennsylvania, reportedly flew a drone over the rally area shortly before he executed his attack.  [...]

 

https://townhall.com/tipsheet/mattvespa/2024/07/19/trumps-would-be-assassin-flew-a-drone-over-rally-site-hours-before-assassination-attempt-n2642236

[TBoneTX 45,258]

Secret Service Says It Is Working Tirelessly To Investigate Anyone Criticizing Their Incompetence

 

[...] Washington lawmakers, media pundits, and the general public alike all raised red flags over inconsistencies and apparent failures of the Secret Service in the close call Trump experienced, leading the government agency to release an official statement that it was doing everything within its power to track down anyone who would dare to question the impeccable record of the Secret Service.  [...]

 

https://babylonbee.com/news/secret-service-says-it-is-working-tirelessly-to-investigate-anyone-criticizing-their-incompetence

[TBoneTX 45,258]

Senator Grassley Wants to Know Why Dr. Jill Had Four TIMES as Many Agents as Trump on the Day He was Shot

 

https://twitchy.com/justmindy/2024/07/21/secret-service-agents-jill-versus-trump-grassley-n2398652