The women that marry mena men?

[palilover 1]

I'm still going through the reactions, some good, some, bad, some just puzzling.

At first people were nervous about him because he's not a USC....they

were afraid he was going to use me. I think that everyone or at least most people must go through times like that when they marry a non USC. But before he left and even now, there's no evidence to suggest he is using me....so why should I worry? And once my friends (the Muslim ones) saw that he was a standup guy before and after he's left, they now cannot wait for us to be together again too and are completely happy that I've finally found someone who treats me as well as he does.

One family has done a fine job of spreading rumors about my husband and his family before and after he's left. But after some investigation by me, I find everything they say to be false or exaggerated. So thoe people once were my friends, but now? They have drifted, are glad he is gone, angry at me for missing him, and all this other bs. And who is the one standing by my side through this whole thing? My husband. There's enough evidence right there to show me who is really caring about me. And that is what counts and for that I am thankful for him.

As for my family...they are a midwestern farm family who have probably never seen an arab in their whole life beyond what they see on tv:( Since I live so far away, they have not met my husband. When they found out I got amrried, they immediately asked if he was needing a green card (next person who says that to me I wanna punch them in the face really, I'm so sick of that q)....and I could tell there was something unsettled in my mother's voice when I spoke to her. Of our immediate family, everyone has only married white people so I am the oddball who goes off and marries an arab:)

I think my nonmuslim assosiates are just waiting and seeing. They know I am going through a lot of stress with him being away and in palestine at that.....so while they are supportive and want things to work out, they still hold their judgements about arab men:( They have the stereotype of arab men in their mind....woman stays home, has many kids, and washes his dirty underwear all day and sits at the stove all day. (How can they get that stereotype with me as the wife...they know my horror cooking stories:) One of them had the nerve the other day to blurt out "Oh please, if it was up to him, she would not be working!" Excuse me.......my husband supports me working, knows I am a workaholic, wants me to become self employed, was upset because I stopped school while we go through this immigration process......I told her she was way out of line for saying such things agaisnt my husband when he doe snot do anything bad for me. She just looked at me....well, we'll wait and see wont' we?

Really i am asking myself this. Why must my husband have to answer for the backwards men who really DO lock up their women? And why is my husband being lumped into the category of "out for a green card" when it was me who fought him to even let me apply for hiim because even he does not like being assosiated with people like that?

So far so good...my husband has come out on top of things and been the winner in all this. I just pray that his winning streak continues and we can be together again soon and further prove to people that he's not a monster from the desert but a handsome prince who treats his princess as she deserves....like a princess:)

[Donna A 4]

my 'gutsy' mother wants to go to syria. i guess after me going 2 times and coming back alive she dont worry so much. i know the second time i went it was right after my gall bladder surgery and the gastorlogist was lebonese and she was expressing her concern to him and he told her...its not like the media portrays it over there stop worring she will be fine. that put her at ease alot.

[palilover 1]

my 'gutsy' mother wants to go to syria. i guess after me going 2 times and coming back alive she dont worry so much. i know the second time i went it was right after my gall bladder surgery and the gastorlogist was lebonese and she was expressing her concern to him and he told her...its not like the media portrays it over there stop worring she will be fine. that put her at ease alot.

yes and if you are in a developed area over there, I think you can get health care cheaper than you can get it here!

I was reading something last year where some people were going overseas to have surgery done because it was too expensive here, even with our health insurance plans. (and some things our health insurance does not cover).

[Imua 0]

my 'gutsy' mother wants to go to syria. i guess after me going 2 times and coming back alive she dont worry so much. i know the second time i went it was right after my gall bladder surgery and the gastorlogist was lebonese and she was expressing her concern to him and he told her...its not like the media portrays it over there stop worring she will be fine. that put her at ease alot.

yes and if you are in a developed area over there, I think you can get health care cheaper than you can get it here!

I was reading something last year where some people were going overseas to have surgery done because it was too expensive here, even with our health insurance plans. (and some things our health insurance does not cover).

Yes, some countries such as India and Thailand have excellent health care, comparable with USA but much cheaper.

I can relate to a lot of the stories here - there are some very similar issues for a white or non-Asian American woman marrying a S. Asian man as there are if she marries a MENA man - similar family dynamics, expectations, etc. even if the religion and other factors may be different.

My family thinks I am extremely gutsy - since I was little I have always been fascinated with different cultures and languages. I was the first in the family to travel to Europe(and live there), let alone 'the 3rd world' - by now this is the sort of thing they would expect from me. Like someone said before, the 'gutsy' thing for me would be to marry the boy next door... I am a practicing Buddhist/Hindu and this is what brought me to Nepal for the first time. I fell in love with Nepal and learned a lot about Nepali cultures way before there was any romance in the picture, so when I met my first Nepali bf(the relationship turned sour but he ended up introducing me to my husband) I knew what I was getting into, sorta... I can't imagine getting into a relationship with someone from such a different culture without knowing something about it first, but that's just me - everybody's experience is different...

Very interesting thread.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

my 'gutsy' mother wants to go to syria. i guess after me going 2 times and coming back alive she dont worry so much. i know the second time i went it was right after my gall bladder surgery and the gastorlogist was lebonese and she was expressing her concern to him and he told her...its not like the media portrays it over there stop worring she will be fine. that put her at ease alot.

yes and if you are in a developed area over there, I think you can get health care cheaper than you can get it here!

I was reading something last year where some people were going overseas to have surgery done because it was too expensive here, even with our health insurance plans. (and some things our health insurance does not cover).

Yes, some countries such as India and Thailand have excellent health care, comparable with USA but much cheaper.

I can relate to a lot of the stories here - there are some very similar issues for a white or non-Asian American woman marrying a S. Asian man as there are if she marries a MENA man - similar family dynamics, expectations, etc. even if the religion and other factors may be different.

My family thinks I am extremely gutsy - since I was little I have always been fascinated with different cultures and languages. I was the first in the family to travel to Europe(and live there), let alone 'the 3rd world' - by now this is the sort of thing they would expect from me. Like someone said before, the 'gutsy' thing for me would be to marry the boy next door... I am a practicing Buddhist/Hindu and this is what brought me to Nepal for the first time. I fell in love with Nepal and learned a lot about Nepali cultures way before there was any romance in the picture, so when I met my first Nepali bf(the relationship turned sour but he ended up introducing me to my husband) I knew what I was getting into, sorta... I can't imagine getting into a relationship with someone from such a different culture without knowing something about it first, but that's just me - everybody's experience is different...

Very interesting thread.

you guys are amazing looking

[~Jackie~ 30]

Awww she is adoraboe! How old is?

Jackie

[Carolyn 1]

Wahrania,

Your little daughter Zahra looks like a total sweetheart! Such expressive eyes--you can tell she is going to be a strong woman!

[Imua 0]

you guys are amazing looking

Thank you!

[Henia 11]

my 'gutsy' mother wants to go to syria. i guess after me going 2 times and coming back alive she dont worry so much. i know the second time i went it was right after my gall bladder surgery and the gastorlogist was lebonese and she was expressing her concern to him and he told her...its not like the media portrays it over there stop worring she will be fine. that put her at ease alot.

yes and if you are in a developed area over there, I think you can get health care cheaper than you can get it here!

I was reading something last year where some people were going overseas to have surgery done because it was too expensive here, even with our health insurance plans. (and some things our health insurance does not cover).

Yes, some countries such as India and Thailand have excellent health care, comparable with USA but much cheaper.

I can relate to a lot of the stories here - there are some very similar issues for a white or non-Asian American woman marrying a S. Asian man as there are if she marries a MENA man - similar family dynamics, expectations, etc. even if the religion and other factors may be different.

My family thinks I am extremely gutsy - since I was little I have always been fascinated with different cultures and languages. I was the first in the family to travel to Europe(and live there), let alone 'the 3rd world' - by now this is the sort of thing they would expect from me. Like someone said before, the 'gutsy' thing for me would be to marry the boy next door... I am a practicing Buddhist/Hindu and this is what brought me to Nepal for the first time. I fell in love with Nepal and learned a lot about Nepali cultures way before there was any romance in the picture, so when I met my first Nepali bf(the relationship turned sour but he ended up introducing me to my husband) I knew what I was getting into, sorta... I can't imagine getting into a relationship with someone from such a different culture without knowing something about it first, but that's just me - everybody's experience is different...

Very interesting thread.

Beautiful picture of you both. Lovely dress! I love red for wedding dresses. May you both be blessed!

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

Awww she is adoraboe! How old is?

Jackie

Shes an arab irish berber danish mix.....

[Teacher 0]

I feel that the women who are truly gutsy are the ones who embrace the culture by going and living in the MENA country with their man. Not too many people are willing to do that. Now that takes guts!!!! And true love.

I've been in approximately 35 different countries including MENA ones. I don't consider it that gutsy when as an American you know if there is trouble all you've got to do is get to the nearest embassy or consulate.

Have you noticed that this board is a little more animated and full of action than the other forums? Why is that? I think it takes a little bit of guts to go to MENA countries for the average american and to embrace a new and exciting culture. I think the women that marry mena men and meet them in their countries are a little more gutsy than some of their friends. To go on a plane half a world away, especially one engulfed in controversy ( world politics and opinion) perhaps takes a little bit of a spitfire. How have your friends and families reacted to all the phoning, planes, traveling and changes in you as a mena marrying woman? I often wonder about this.

[Teacher 0]

call me cheezy but my man uses tons and tons of smileys and I started doing it back.

My family calmed down a bit now that I've been there and back alone, it was the weeks before I left that we were making worst-case-scenario preparations (as in the "Mom, I don't want to be cremated and dammit if you cremate me I'll haunt you forever!" talks). hahaha

The biggest change in me has yet to be discovered by them--it's easier to admit you're gay in my family rather than admitting you're Christian!

Hang in there, Sparrow! Good luck with everything.

I'll write more on this later as I'm at work

How incredibly beautiful she is!!!!!!!!!!!!

Awww she is adoraboe! How old is?

Jackie

Shes an arab irish berber danish mix.....

[Sinergy 3]

I feel that the women who are truly gutsy are the ones who embrace the culture by going and living in the MENA country with their man. Not too many people are willing to do that. Now that takes guts!!!! And true love.

I've been in approximately 35 different countries including MENA ones. I don't consider it that gutsy when as an American you know if there is trouble all you've got to do is get to the nearest embassy or consulate.

Some how this doesnt surprise me, but my opinion being, just bc your SO is from MENA, it doesnt make you any more gutzy than our SO's being from europe or asia or south america or anywhere else around the world and going there to our men/women. Going anywhere outside of your comfort zone of your own country is gutzy, i dont care where it is.

[Jenn! 918]

I feel that the women who are truly gutsy are the ones who embrace the culture by going and living in the MENA country with their man. Not too many people are willing to do that. Now that takes guts!!!! And true love.

I've been in approximately 35 different countries including MENA ones. I don't consider it that gutsy when as an American you know if there is trouble all you've got to do is get to the nearest embassy or consulate.

Some how this doesnt surprise me, but my opinion being, just bc your SO is from MENA, it doesnt make you any more gutzy than our SO's being from europe or asia or south america or anywhere else around the world and going there to our men/women. Going anywhere outside of your comfort zone of your own country is gutzy, i dont care where it is.

I think you're being a bit defensive. This thread is in the MENA forum, which is why this topic is being disucssed as it relates to MENA.

I really don't think that when Teacher said, "I feel that the women who are truly gutsy are the ones who embrace the culture by going and living in the MENA country with their man. " she somehow meant that going to live in a non MENA country is not gutsy.

[Sinergy 3]

I feel that the women who are truly gutsy are the ones who embrace the culture by going and living in the MENA country with their man. Not too many people are willing to do that. Now that takes guts!!!! And true love.

I've been in approximately 35 different countries including MENA ones. I don't consider it that gutsy when as an American you know if there is trouble all you've got to do is get to the nearest embassy or consulate.

Some how this doesnt surprise me, but my opinion being, just bc your SO is from MENA, it doesnt make you any more gutzy than our SO's being from europe or asia or south america or anywhere else around the world and going there to our men/women. Going anywhere outside of your comfort zone of your own country is gutzy, i dont care where it is.

I think you're being a bit defensive. This thread is in the MENA forum, which is why this topic is being disucssed as it relates to MENA.

I really don't think that when Teacher said, "I feel that the women who are truly gutsy are the ones who embrace the culture by going and living in the MENA country with their man. " she somehow meant that going to live in a non MENA country is not gutsy.

And this is a public forum, mena or not, i gave my opinion. i dont have to be part of MENA to do so

and im not trying to seem defensive, i just find it rude and insulting to insinuate that only women who marry MENA men are gutzy. And thats fine that it was posted in MENA, i can guarentee you if i had posted the same thing saying "only women who marry and move to european countries are gutzy" I would have been flamed big time by MENA women

Edited August 10, 2007 by Ionescu