How did you manage money while adjusting status?

[Ontarkie 14,226]

~Moderation warning~

Please take it easy on the OP's Husband. The OP never said her husband was preventing her from eating or her in-laws. She is the one who chose not to eat unless he is around. Talking to her husband is very good advice. 

[retheem 566]

14 hours ago, Hoggypi said:

I’m currently adjusting status so I can’t legally work, I’m financially dependent on my husband. I wonder, how did you deal with this stage?
 

I feel guilty spending his money so I will only eat with him when he eats which is once a day during his work week (he eats again at work), we are staying at his parents home but I don’t feel right eating their food since I can’t pay towards it so I go 24hrs without eating a few times per week if my husband eats before he arrives home. I often feel dizzy and weak but feel like there’s nothing that can be done until I begin working. 
 

how did you manage this situation?

How to deal with that stage? Start eating more than once a day otherwise you will die of hunger.

[Marieke H 2,512]

14 hours ago, Hoggypi said:

I feel guilty spending his money

This is where your reasoning goes wrong. You are married now, so "his" money is your money too; it is your household income.

 

From your previous thread, it sounds like your husband was really pushing for you not to go back to your home country and stay and adjust status instead. You were given a lot of information about the pros and cons of doing that, and I assume you and your husband discussed those before making the decision to file for adjustment of status. You not having any income for a while is a consequence of that decision that you made together, so now you need to figure out together how to handle your finances.

 

I agree with everyone else: talk to your husband. This conversation should have happened before you even filed for AOS. You should also talk to your in-laws. They probably don't want you to starve yourself either. You might feel better about eating "their" food if you can offer to contribute to household chores.

[nastra30 2,287]

Op, is feeling like she's a burden on the husband and in-laws. Honest communication and understanding should be key here.

[kiwibean 48]

This is a little to the side of your topic - because of course you should be eating.  But I can answer part of the question.  When I first came and my husband and I were newly-weds, he didn't do very well at helping me adjust to life here.  He just went about his normal every day and didn't give much consideration to the fact that I now I had no life (having given up my job and all such things).  I had no money and we had very little furniture.  I stayed at home and watched daytime TV until it drove me crazy (about a day!).  Then I realized I had to learn to occupy myself somehow.  I became very good at taking the bus places.  I went to library programs and other free events.  Honestly, I wish I'd been able to express to my husband that he needed to do a better job of keeping me company outside of work hours.  He was so used to me being far away, that he kind of figured I'd do my own thing -and he kept doing his own thing, and hung out with friends after work and such.  But my own thing was nothing!  I hope you can have those discussions with your husband.  It doesn't mean you have to be each other's shadow, but he needs to be taking you into consideration every day.

[Sarah&Facundo 595]

On top of what everyone else is saying, you NEED to discuss this with your husband. We also lived (and still do live) with my mother. I am the USC and during that time, I paid for everything for both of us. We knew what this was going to be when we entered into this agreement to do the K1. I had already prepared for that. I would never EVER look at it as he was taking money/food from me. From the day we said "I do," that money was OUR money. I would feel horrible if I ever found out my husband wasn't eating out of guilt and I would hope he would communicate those thoughts with me if he was thinking like this. 

 

[Melancholic Mage 108]

Re-reading the OP's post, I feel there might be some Mental Health issues at play. You can live on one meal a day, so long as it's a big, healthy meal, but it's certainly not advised.

 

I hope you speak to someone about your eating patterns, if not your husband then a trusted friend or family member. Don't feel guilty about relying financially on your husband or his family - they knew what adjusting status for you entailed. Take care of yourself and eat well.