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Posted

I’m currently adjusting status so I can’t legally work, I’m financially dependent on my husband. I wonder, how did you deal with this stage?
 

I feel guilty spending his money so I will only eat with him when he eats which is once a day during his work week (he eats again at work), we are staying at his parents home but I don’t feel right eating their food since I can’t pay towards it so I go 24hrs without eating a few times per week if my husband eats before he arrives home. I often feel dizzy and weak but feel like there’s nothing that can be done until I begin working. 
 

how did you manage this situation?

Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Canada
Timeline
Posted

~~Moved to Moving Here and Your New Life, from AOS from Work, Student and Tourist Visas. As this is about the struggles of AOS but not a processing question.~~

Spoiler

Met Playing Everquest in 2005
Engaged 9-15-2006
K-1 & 4 K-2'S
Filed 05-09-07
Interview 03-12-08
Visa received 04-21-08
Entry 05-06-08
Married 06-21-08
AOS X5
Filed 07-08-08
Cards Received01-22-09
Roc X5
Filed 10-17-10
Cards Received02-22-11
Citizenship
Filed 10-17-11
Interview 01-12-12
Oath 06-29-12

Citizenship for older 2 boys

Filed 03/08/2014

NOA/fee waiver 03/19/2014

Biometrics 04/15/14

Interview 05/29/14

In line for Oath 06/20/14

Oath 09/19/2014 We are all done! All USC no more USCIS

 

Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Wales
Timeline
Posted

Savings, mind you things were much quicker then.

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Russia
Timeline
Posted

Hey, you should eat something! If you don't, you'll end up in the hospital, and those bills will be way higher than the cost of food. I don't think he'll be happy when he finds out. Why don't you cook something at home for everyone? If you don't know how, just watch YouTube and start with something simple.

Posted

You need to discuss finances with your spouse.  If you have no savings, then he absolutely has to support you since you are stuck unable to work.  Ask him when you could go to the grocery together so you can plan your meals for the week, while he his at work. 
If you are uncomfortable, then you can tell him that you are, and that you would like to plan to pay for a getaway weekend/your first car/deposit on your apartment/[whatever fits your situation] once you are able to work.  Do not starve yourself.

Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ecuador
Timeline
Posted

One post violating the site's Terms of Service has been removed.  The author may repost less judgmentally.

06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

Posted (edited)

This is a sad situation. Has your husband ever noticed that you aren't eating enough? I can't imagine how I'd feel if my wife wasn't eating enough and didn't feel comfortable talking with me about it.

 

You two need to go grocery shopping for food that you can eat at home while he is away at work.

Edited by Corgent
Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Sweden
Timeline
Posted

Never an issue for us, the day we got married was the day we started sharing everything - including money, bank accounts, savings etc. So even if I couldn't work at the time, everything was OURS, not just his.

K-1: 12-22-2015 - 09-07-2016

AP: 12-20-2016 - 04-07-2017

EAD: 01-18-2017 - 05-30-2017

AOS: 12-20-2016 - 07-26-2017

ROC: 04-22-2019 - 04-22-2020
Naturalization: 05-01-2020 - 03-16-2021

U.S. passport: 03-30-2021 - 05-08-2021

En livstid i krig. Göteborg killed it. Epic:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBs3G1PvyfM&ab_channel=Sabaton

 

Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Brazil
Timeline
Posted

A couple of points you should bring up with your husband:

1. He is your primary financial sponsor, that means he should be providing sufficient money to support you, not only during adjustment of status (he will have to sign a I-864), but beyond that for ten years or until you are a US citizen.

2. Financial co-mingling is strongly recommended if you want to be successful with the adjustment of status application and an eventual green card.  This means a joint checking account, shared credit card, etc. where you have access to his money as needed.

 

Bring these up with your husband in a frank conversation.

Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Wales
Timeline
Posted

I participated in the OPs previous thread.

 

The OP had been visiting for nearly 3 months and the plus and minuses of Adjusting vs Consulate Processing were discussed.

 

Perhaps it is me but the situation seems odd.

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

Posted
12 hours ago, Hoggypi said:

I’m currently adjusting status so I can’t legally work, I’m financially dependent on my husband. I wonder, how did you deal with this stage?
 

I feel guilty spending his money so I will only eat with him when he eats which is once a day during his work week (he eats again at work), we are staying at his parents home but I don’t feel right eating their food since I can’t pay towards it so I go 24hrs without eating a few times per week if my husband eats before he arrives home. I often feel dizzy and weak but feel like there’s nothing that can be done until I begin working. 
 

how did you manage this situation?

WOW!  You got married and what is his is also yours.  When I got married I told my husband that whatever he needs I don't care what it is he tells me and I either can afford it or I can't.  On top of that I added him to all my accounts and he has his own debit cards to all the accounts and all I ask of him is to check the balance before he uses a card to make sure there is money for the purchase he will make.  On larger items he just ask can he buy.  You need to have a conversation with your spouse because when he married you he said he was going to be financially responsible for you and that is all there is.  Once you are able to work then you can have a conversation about expenses and such but this is NOT a good situation for you to be in.  Very sad.   

Posted

Like Boiler said, the OP chose to adjust from B/ESTA, and had feedback on the drawbacks on previous thread.

 

That being said:  OP, hopefully you see how concerning it is to be starting out your marriage amid food insecurity.   Access to food within your household is NOT a normal issue to be dealing with in a marriage, and like everyone else is telling you, the solution starts with communication with your spouse.

 
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