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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Wales
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Quite fascinating

 

Exactly what was the message?

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

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Posted (edited)
7 minutes ago, KMG said:

I am part of a couple of FB groups for spouse visas and the number of divorces from VERY SPECIFIC countries is astounding.

Eastern European?

7 minutes ago, appleblossom said:

 

You have no way of knowing if that was a genuine call though (could have been fake just to wind you up - would she really have given your number out to her attorney??). And even if it was real, you don't know if the case actually went ahead. That may have been from an attorney that then declined to take her case once he found out she wasn't eligible for a U visa. 

 

But whatever the situation is, as said above there's nothing you can do about it. She's on her own now and it sounds like she's not in a great place immigration wise, but you can't worry about that. Focus on you.

It was a call from the exact attorney office she was speaking to 2 months prior. Same number.

I am trying to focus on me, the trauma of the abandonment just destroys me inside.

5 minutes ago, Boiler said:

Quite fascinating

 

Exactly what was the message?

Not an exact quote but, we (law firm) received USCIS receipt for u-visa application. Now all we do is wait. I will email you the paperwork.

Edited by nmanc33
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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Honduras
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2 minutes ago, nmanc33 said:

Eastern European?

It was a call from the exact attorney office she was speaking to 2 months prior. Same number.

I am trying to focus on me, the trauma of the abandonment just destroys me inside.

Not an exact quote but, we (law firm) received USCIS receipt for u-visa application. Now all we do is wait. I will email you the paperwork.

Yes and Asia, Africa.

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Honduras
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6 minutes ago, nmanc33 said:

Eastern European?

It was a call from the exact attorney office she was speaking to 2 months prior. Same number.

I am trying to focus on me, the trauma of the abandonment just destroys me inside.

Not an exact quote but, we (law firm) received USCIS receipt for u-visa application. Now all we do is wait. I will email you the paperwork.

 

2 minutes ago, nmanc33 said:

The love bombing from the start to completely abandoning - it's evil.

Yes it is.  I really want to write something maybe a Medium article or something, to help USCs identify when someone is playing this game. 

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3 hours ago, nmanc33 said:

I think I'm having a hard time just swallowing what happened - Spent 100k on her present and future in the last 2 years, let alone a home too. Can't even describe the support she got from my parents and friends too. It was down right evil.

I just didn't know if there is anything else I need to do in order to protect myself.

Thank you

You can’t blame anyone for your lack of judgement about your partner’s character.   Overseas relationships have the unfortunate built-in drawback of less time spent in person than if you dated someone locally.   But even then, <50% of marriages are successful.    
 

Best thing is to move on and care of yourself.

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A lot of USCs don’t seem to recognize the incongruence between the type of people they would attract at home vs overseas.   If it sounds too good to be true- it probably is?   And if it came to it, would that overseas partner still be interested if there was not a green card in the mix?

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2 minutes ago, SalishSea said:

You can’t blame anyone for your lack of judgement about your partner’s character.   Overseas relationships have the unfortunate built-in drawback of less time spent in person than if you dated someone locally.   But even then, <50% of marriages are successful.    
 

Best thing is to move on and care of yourself.

I hope I never came across as blaming anyone else. Yes, I am trying to heal. Easier said than done.

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1 minute ago, SalishSea said:

A lot of USCs don’t seem to recognize the incongruence between the type of people they would attract at home vs overseas.   If it sounds too good to be true- it probably is?   And if it came to it, would that overseas partner still be interested if there was not a green card in the mix?

This is a good point, unfortunately feelings and emotions sometimes get the best of you. I am certain she is a narcissist though. 

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1 hour ago, nmanc33 said:

VM from immigration attorney.

If you find it, please let me know! That would be unbelievable if this is a thing right now.

VM = not at all “concrete evidence.”   I’d wager top dollar that this is a VAWA.

 

The bar for U visas is VERY high and VERY specific.   Many are denied.   
 

methinks there is some miscommunication at work here…

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3 minutes ago, JeanneAdil said:

Several sites post fraud/scam warnings including US Department of State and romance and marriage are not the only scams

they scam businessmen and ask for money to make a horoscope dream come true 

 

https://travel.state.gov/content/travel/en/international-travel/emergencies/international-financial-scams.html

 

US embassy Algeria has good examples of how to spot a romance scam for a US visa

Some of the signs that an Internet contact may be developing a relationship with a U.S. citizen in order to obtain an immigrant visa through marriage, or financial gain/identity theft are:

  • Initial contact through unsolicited requests via Skype, Facebook, Viber, on-line gaming, or other means
  • The person uses on-line dating sites to meet other foreign nationals
  • Lack of real shared interests – i.e., the person on the other end parrots back whatever the U.S. citizen mentions
  • Requests for relationships between a young Algerian man and a much older American woman. (In the Algerian cultural context it is extremely unusual for an Algerian man to have a legitimate relationship with a woman even slightly older – and especially unusual to have a first-time relationship with someone beyond child bearing age.)
  • Declarations of love within days or weeks of the initial contact  (Big one)
  • Proposals or discussions of marriage soon after initial contact
  • Requests to send money or provide access to financial accounts
  • Responses to messages from the U.S. friend are along the lines “I love you/Sorry I missed your call,” or similarly one-sided conversations
  • Request to get married in Tunisia or a third country with a single witness because “it’s easier to get married quickly there.” Note that weddings in Algeria are major social occasions, and it is extremely unusual for large numbers of family and friends not to be present at the wedding
  • Once engaged, married, or an immigrant visa petition is filed, suddenly starts missing scheduled appointments to chat or call 

1.  If you suspect the romance is for a green card ,  offer to move to the person's country and see how fast the chats end

2.  and don't assume that because u r in love,  the person is too. 

3.  use your head /  not your heart

4.  when a person call u baby , could mean he talks to many and doesn't want to call u by wrong name/ make the person use your name

All you have to do is tune into any of the ‘90 Day’ shows (UK is the latest one) to see reasonable people being fleeced by romantic interests who wouldn’t give a second look if they lived in a developing country.

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1 minute ago, SalishSea said:

VM = not at all “concrete evidence.”   I’d wager top dollar that this is a VAWA.

 

The bar for U visas is VERY high and VERY specific.   Many are denied.   
 

methinks there is some miscommunication at work here…

I too, from the moment she left me with a threatening letter, believed it would be VAWA. Then the law firm that called and left a voicemail said U-Visa.

Just now, SalishSea said:

All you have to do is tune into any of the ‘90 Day’ shows (UK is the latest one) to see reasonable people being fleeced by romantic interests who wouldn’t give a second look if they lived in a developing country.

Can't say I ever watched those shows. Now I lived it 😂

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Honduras
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45 minutes ago, SalishSea said:

A lot of USCs don’t seem to recognize the incongruence between the type of people they would attract at home vs overseas.   If it sounds too good to be true- it probably is?   And if it came to it, would that overseas partner still be interested if there was not a green card in the mix?

This is so true!  One major question a person can ask during the courtship is ...  "would you be interested in living your country for a while?"  

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