Biggest poll EVER!

[SteveLaura 0]

Dear Pascale:

Oh, one other thing before I go finish crocheting your socks.... Are you wearing your Spiderman underpants again? I know you wore them yesterday because they were not in your underwear drawer. What have I told you about turning your underpants inside out and wearing them a second day? When you take orders, you stand crotch-to-nose with your customers. Do you think that smell improves their appetite?

Love,

Mommy

Pascale writes: I am assuming, by the look of your companion, that you will be interested in the wild boar. I will have the chef check it's lineage, if your companion is concerned. The manufacturers of our tablecloths did not believe it necessary to add embellishments to it's pure whiteness. However, I see that you feel that it would look more pleasing with soup stains and what may be drool from your companion's mouth. I thank you unreservedly for the kind gesture.

[JenT 0]

Dear Pascale,

Mommy has to go mend the jammies you were wearing when you tore them during your dream last night. We might have to see a doctor about your sleep walking. Daddy and I have tried to tell you that there is no bogeyman in your closet. You don't need to crawl under your bed and rip your jammies on the bed springs every night. Maybe we should just put the mattress on the floor? I'll ask Daddy when he comes home from work.

On your way home from the restaurant honey, please pick up some of those animal crackers you like so much. The ones you had with your warm milk last night are all gone.

Love, Mommy

[SteveLaura 0]

Dear Pascale,

Mommy has to go mend the jammies you were wearing when you tore them during your dream last night. We might have to see a doctor about your sleep walking. Daddy and I have tried to tell you that there is no bogeyman in your closet. You don't need to crawl under your bed and rip your jammies on the bed springs every night. Maybe we should just put the mattress on the floor? I'll ask Daddy when he comes home from work.

On your way home from the restaurant honey, please pick up some of those animal crackers you like so much. The ones you had with your warm milk last night are all gone.

Love, Mommy

Pascale writes: I am sorry I do not have the answer to that question, as no one has ever asked for these 'spaghetti hoops' previously. Perhaps I shall ask the chef to leave his 4 star kitchen and instead take a small detour to the local supermarket. Perhaps too he will be able to supply you with the 'tomato ketchup' which you feel will complement your coq au vin. Like all top chefs, he is constantly looking to improve his award-winning concoctions and may well include it in his recipe in the future. I feel honored that you have blessed me alone with this information.

[JenT 0]

Dear Pacale,

I just took a message for you from one of your friends... Marco, I think he said his name was. He asked me to tell you not to forget that special lotion that you bought when you meet him tomorrow. The one that tastes like pineapples. I'm not really sure what that means, but I thought you might like to know in case you need to get more of it when you go to the store.

Love, Mommy

[almaty 19]

lol..sister jen..you are funny...

i got a question for

Pascale!

Dear Pascale,

what do you think about donuts?

[Mags 112]

Internet diary. 11/26/07. The poll needs more drama. There has been zero flaming so far. No one has been banned because of it. No one has threatened to leave because of it. No one has posted intimate details of themselves, and no one has responded mockingly. Not a hint of poo flinging. It is most disappointing. I must try to figure out a way to infuriate the VJ masses...

I can threaten to lock it for you? Would that work?

Edit: How on earth have I missed this thread? Flippin' hilarious!

Edited November 29, 2007 by Mags

[JenT 0]

Dearest Mags,

Please don't lock this thread. My Pascale is a good boy and this is the only way we've been able to communicate lately. He's been so....... distant. All of these boys call and leave messages for him and he has no time left for his me.

Thank you,

Pacale's Mommy

Edited November 29, 2007 by JenT

[Mags 112]

Dear Pascale's Mommy (shouldn't that be Mama? ),

I apologise if I came across heavy handed but I must explain something to you. VJ is an immigration website not a mother son dating service. Please don't hold us responsible for your complete lack of maternal bonding with your son. Perhaps you dropped him on his head when he was a baby, perhaps you insisted on hugging him and calling him "my ickle wickle baby" at the school gates when he was 16, perhaps you still made him warm milk before bedtime when he was 19, perhaps you insisted on bathing him at 17...I really don't want to know.

However, I must warn you that any continued Pascale/Mommy banter will be laughed at in a very serious manner and continued pelvic floor muscle work outs will be required by many to avoid embarrassing accidents.

Mags,

that's Moderator with a capital M to you.

[almaty 19]

lol....my thanks to sister jen and sister mags for bringing class to this worthless thread

[JenT 0]

Dearest Mags, the Moderator from Heaven,

Thank you very much for your understanding. You see, Pascale has been a troubled child most of his life. It all started when he was about 6-7 years old. His stuffed bunny rabbit went missing. We scoured our home looking for it and finally found it tangled up in his blankie in the back of his closet. When we unwrapped it, it had been torn under it's belly and it was all sticky and messy. We had to take all of his stuffed animals away after that because the same thing started happening to them for some strange reason. Perhaps removing all of his 'lovies' had more of an effect on him than I realized.

His father and I have been careful to tend to his needs and not upset him.... he does have a temper and likes to throw his toys around his room. Some of these toys I've never seen before. I haven't shopped for toys in a long time, but they must not sell toy trucks or airplanes anymore. These are very strange looking. I do help him keep his Barbie dolls organized... he does take proper care of them.

Best regards,

Pascale's Mama-Mommy-Moomoo

(he used to call me moo-moo... he had trouble pronouncing his 'a's' too.....)

Edited November 29, 2007 by JenT

[Mags 112]

Dear Mommy Moo Moo,

The stuffed bunny rabbit that was all sticky was a disturbing problem, I understand this, but is it information that is needed on an Immigration website? If he was marrying a USC and she found out that his long held affection for Mr Floppy the bunny was still strong, then there may be issues that would no doubt end up in a locked topic. However, since you are his mother and not a USC I fail to grasp the relevance.

May I make a suggestion? Barbie has a new selection of dolls and Christmas is coming up. Buy Pascale one and let us know how much he enjoys it on Christmas Day. That advice was free, everything else I charge a flat fee of a bag of Cadbury's chocolate Buttons and a Dime bar for the husband.

Regards,

Mags

[JenT 0]

Dear Magnificent Mags,

Thank you so much for your kind suggestion. I do not mean in any way to disrespect this Immigation Website. We are, however, in an off topic poll forum so I thought that it might be a helpful way for me to reach my Pascale. He usually doesn't come out of the closet much when he's home, so this is a helpful medium for me to reach him. As a side benefit, I can make sure there are no more stuffed animals in there when he's gone.

For your kindness, I'm sending you a case of Cadbury's chocolate Buttons and a case of Dime bars. I'll include a few doughnuts just to be sure we remain on topic.

Forever grateful,

Mrs. Mommy Moo Moo Mother

[SteveLaura 0]

Pascale writes: You embarrass me with your idiotic drunken ramblings like the old bag woman of Montmatre with the crazy teeth. I am asking Marcel to escort you to the rear of the restaurant where we keep the rubbish for the dogs so that we can laugh at you wholeheartedly.

[Marilyn. 340]

you guys are crazy...

I was actually LOL ...

[JenT 0]

Dear Pascale,

I have something to tell you that I have been keeping secret for quite some time now. Mags has given me the courage to tell you the truth. After your father and I married, I found out that he had been unfaithful to me on our honeymoon. I forgave him for that and he agreed to commit to our marriage. Our sex life dwindled because we grew increasingly distant with one another.

In an effort to revive the romance, your father took me to a circus that had come to our small village here in France. We held hands and reconnected as we walked among the cotton candy vendors and carnival games. When we arrived at the ring where the animals were going to perform, there was a young, handsome ringleader who introduced himself as Ronaldo. I was fascinated with his movement and his booming voice as I watched the acrobats and animal trainers perform. He was very stimulating. We left the circus and when we got home, your father and I made passionate love but as I closed my eyes, I saw Ronaldo, and not your father.

The next day, as the circus was packing up to leave, a few of the circus people were shopping in our village. Your father was a work and I was shopping for bread, cheese, and tomatoes. I saw Ronaldo walking among the vegetables and our eyes met over the squash. We instantly knew that we had to be together. Pascale... he followed me home, and, well.... you can imagine the hot, steamy sex we had in our kitchen among our produce. Ronaldo left the next day and I never heard from, or saw him, again.

Pascale, you were born nine months after those two days, so I do not know who your father is. Will you agree to a DNA test to put your poor mother's mind at rest? Perhaps you are the son of a ringleader (which might actually explain a lot....) and you deserve to know the truth. Your father found out about Ronaldo because I had to explain why all of our tomatoes were smushed and why the back of my dress was stained with tomato juice. He decided to forgive my transgression as I forgave his.... will you please forgive me too?

Your ever loving Mommy,

Mommy