VAWA/MALE/

[MichaelHenry3 1]

Hello,

 

I need help with an issue and will be obtaining an attorney. I got married two and a half years ago. Here’s some background: I met my wife while she was visiting the Middle East. Despite an age gap, we share the same culture, religion, and language. We kept in contact, and eventually, I visited the U.S. on my B2 visa for the last five years.
 

We decided to get married, we hired an attorney to file our paperwork. We were happy and living together, with joint bank accounts, insurance policies, and shared utilities. This was a legitimate marriage.

 

Last summer, I received my EAD, social security number, and driver’s license. My wife asked me not to work as she could cover the bills, and I agreed. For our anniversary and Valentine’s Day, I gifted her a custom-made gold necklace worth over $4,000, but she was not pleased with it, which I found strange.

 

In March, she began to complain about my snoring and made derogatory comments.
 

In April, her behavior worsened as she developed a gambling addiction. She demanded that I find a job to support her and started to verbally and physically abuse me, calling me names like "pig," "," and "worthless." She also threw things at me. I recorded some of these incidents for evidence.

 

During one incident, her siblings were present when she threatened me with a knife and said she would kill me. Her siblings explained that she might be remembering her mother’s passing and having episodes. However, the abuse continued. She texted me abusive messages, and once, in front of our neighbors, she pushed me while calling me derogatory names (the incident was caught on their Ring camera).

 

Despite her siblings’ advice not to file a police report, I am now living with anxiety and have been prescribed Xanax. I am scared to return home due to her threats, which include cutting off my fingers if I return. Her siblings have taken me and housed me by them as they agree she is completely out of line for this nonsense. 

 

I have evidence of her abuse, including recordings, text messages, and footage from our neighbor's Ring camera. I’m unsure if I have a VAWA case and am scared to go back home. I have an upcoming interview, and I do not want to lie or risk another episode from her. I am starting virtual therapy next week. I hear any noise when I’m sleeping I wake up and can’t breathe. 

 

I will be hiring an attorney, but I’m seeking advice, especially from other males who have experienced similar situations. Any help or guidance would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you.

 

[Ontarkie 14,311]

~~Moved to Effects of Major Family Changes, from AOS from K1/K3- as similar topics are discussed here.~~

[Lemonslice 4,922]

5 hours ago, MichaelHenry3 said:

Hello,

 

I need help with an issue and will be obtaining an attorney. I got married two and a half years ago. Here’s some background: I met my wife while she was visiting the Middle East. Despite an age gap, we share the same culture, religion, and language. We kept in contact, and eventually, I visited the U.S. on my B2 visa for the last five years.
 

We decided to get married, we hired an attorney to file our paperwork. We were happy and living together, with joint bank accounts, insurance policies, and shared utilities. This was a legitimate marriage.

 

Last summer, I received my EAD, social security number, and driver’s license. My wife asked me not to work as she could cover the bills, and I agreed. For our anniversary and Valentine’s Day, I gifted her a custom-made gold necklace worth over $4,000, but she was not pleased with it, which I found strange.

 

In March, she began to complain about my snoring and made derogatory comments.
 

In April, her behavior worsened as she developed a gambling addiction. She demanded that I find a job to support her and started to verbally and physically abuse me, calling me names like "pig," "," and "worthless." She also threw things at me. I recorded some of these incidents for evidence.

 

During one incident, her siblings were present when she threatened me with a knife and said she would kill me. Her siblings explained that she might be remembering her mother’s passing and having episodes. However, the abuse continued. She texted me abusive messages, and once, in front of our neighbors, she pushed me while calling me derogatory names (the incident was caught on their Ring camera).

 

Despite her siblings’ advice not to file a police report, I am now living with anxiety and have been prescribed Xanax. I am scared to return home due to her threats, which include cutting off my fingers if I return. Her siblings have taken me and housed me by them as they agree she is completely out of line for this nonsense. 

 

I have evidence of her abuse, including recordings, text messages, and footage from our neighbor's Ring camera. I’m unsure if I have a VAWA case and am scared to go back home. I have an upcoming interview, and I do not want to lie or risk another episode from her. I am starting virtual therapy next week. I hear any noise when I’m sleeping I wake up and can’t breathe. 

 

I will be hiring an attorney, but I’m seeking advice, especially from other males who have experienced similar situations. Any help or guidance would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you.

 

Please take care of your safety before taking care of immigration, or anything else.    

 

https://www.thehotline.org/resources/escalation/  is a good read, and from there, you can prepare a Plan for Safety (top of the page)

 

Others will have good advice about immigration, but please do not ignore her escalation. 

 

[MichaelHenry3 1]

9 hours ago, Lemonslice said:

Please take care of your safety before taking care of immigration, or anything else.    

 

https://www.thehotline.org/resources/escalation/  is a good read, and from there, you can prepare a Plan for Safety (top of the page)

 

Others will have good advice about immigration, but please do not ignore her escalation. 

 

Thank you so much. I am safe and by my sister-in-law who she has no access to the house, they are accommodating me for the time being. 

[Demise 1,305]

VAWA provisions are gender neutral, and yeah what you described definitely meets the requirements. Extreme cruelty is (generally) a pattern of behavior and her actions do seem to raise to that, they definitely do raise to the standard of battery since "she only hit me once" is enough to tick that box and you've had it way worse.

 

So yeah, you have a case, good luck. From personal experience they tend to question the legitimacy of the marriage way harder than they tend to question the abuse part. So my thoughts to you is get a copy of anything you have that proves that, anything with both your names on it, stuff listing common addresses, birth certificates of children (if any), and so on and so forth, basically the same thing you'd normally need for an ordinary marriage case.

 

You can probably come around to the VAWA thread:

 

Edited June 1 by Demise