Adjusting status whilst going to USA? (Merged threads)

[Hopeful Dreams 0]

Hello everyone, 

 

I made this account today to ask this question as I am very confused in what to do...

So long story short I met my girlfriend via a game online its been about 2 years now and we have met in person and I even stayed over in the USA for around 90 days (we're both adults) so we then decided to go ahead with the marriage visa process as we both have decided that we would love to be with each other for the rest of our lives...

 

However, my family situation is horrible. My family are against myself from being with this person as I also went against their wishes to visit her for 90 Days. I am being controlled at home where my finances are taken from me from my job and also controlled in every way possible, today I was announced by my Dad that he would be taking away my car and already found a buyer...

I am really struggling at home now as I don't know what to do I have no friends that can support me and the rent around my area is just too high that my current job will not cover.

 

We started the process at the beginning of March and I'm honestly not looking forward to waiting so long as I assume everything will complete by December 2025 I have no idea. 

I just want to be with my girlfriend wife to be as I already have proposed to her when she was here in person we really enjoy our time together and I am suffering at home with these parents that are controlling...

 

I don't know what to do is there any way to speed up the process or for me to reside in the USA without working and letting the k1 visa process? I don't know I am just feeling really depressed these days as I just want to be with her and live my life with her, I can't even save any money due to my parents taking it from me and using it for their own benefit and If I ever try to talk back or say anything I'm told to get out of the house right now.

 

Can anyone give advice? I'm sorry for the long message I tried to summarise it.

[powerpuff 6,703]

Sorry to hear that. Have you looked into renting a room instead of an entire apartment? When I was a student that’s how I found a place to live. I would look for a room to rent and then I had other roommates. From what you described it seems like living separately would solve the control issue so it’s worth considering.
 

There is no way to speed up the process. Separation is just a natural part of the immigration process. 

[Hopeful Dreams 0]

3 minutes ago, powerpuff said:

Sorry to hear that. Have you looked into renting a room instead of an entire apartment? When I was a student that’s how I found a place to live. I would look for a room to rent and then I had other roommates. From what you described it seems like living separately would solve the control issue so it’s worth considering.
 

There is no way to speed up the process. Separation is just a natural part of the immigration process. 

 

I looked into that too but it's also very expensive and my current job isn't exactly full time it's on a zero hour basis so I wouldn't be able to keep up with the costs / expenses and I've been trying to find a new job for a while now, no luck. 😕

 

I understand the seperation issue but It's not really to do with that, It's more so being forced into leaving her by my parents and waiting such a long time for everything to process

[Daphne . 1,866]

Continue looking for another job to become financially independent enough to be able to move out of your parents’ house. That will at least give some relief during the wait.

 

I understand how difficult it is to be caught in the middle (your parents disapproving of your relationship) but at the end of the day you are an adult and this is your choice. They are very likely afraid of losing you, you are planning to move to a new country. They might just be showing it in a very unpleasant way. 
 

There is no way to be able to live in the US until your K1 is approved, so focus on improving your situation during the wait. 

[SneakyPete 75]

Not sure where you are in the world, but if I understand your story correctly your fiancee filed I-129F on your behalf last month? Do you have access to any social services, if you feel situation at home for you becoming unbearable? It also sounds like you are able to travel into US on I presume B-2 or ESTA like program? Assuming your fiancee can support you, you might be able stay with them while you wait for I-129F approval. 

 

Good luck, and hopefully your situation improves soon! 

[Hopeful Dreams 0]

2 minutes ago, SneakyPete said:

Not sure where you are in the world, but if I understand your story correctly your fiancee filed I-129F on your behalf last month? Do you have access to any social services, if you feel situation at home for you becoming unbearable? It also sounds like you are able to travel into US on I presume B-2 or ESTA like program? Assuming your fiancee can support you, you might be able stay with them while you wait for I-129F approval. 

 

Good luck, and hopefully your situation improves soon! 

 

I have an ESTA, but I thought you can't reside there whilst we wait for the approval? How would I go about doing that? They are more than capable in supporting me 😕 

4 minutes ago, Daphne . said:

Continue looking for another job to become financially independent enough to be able to move out of your parents’ house. That will at least give some relief during the wait.

 

I understand how difficult it is to be caught in the middle (your parents disapproving of your relationship) but at the end of the day you are an adult and this is your choice. They are very likely afraid of losing you, you are planning to move to a new country. They might just be showing it in a very unpleasant way. 
 

There is no way to be able to live in the US until your K1 is approved, so focus on improving your situation during the wait. 

 

Yes you are right but the issue is they don't want me to get a new job, they are trying to force me out of my current one to just stay at home and follow their demands.. So If I do try to get a new job they want me out of the house there and then its really complicated

[Daphne . 1,866]

7 minutes ago, SneakyPete said:

Not sure where you are in the world, but if I understand your story correctly your fiancee filed I-129F on your behalf last month? Do you have access to any social services, if you feel situation at home for you becoming unbearable? It also sounds like you are able to travel into US on I presume B-2 or ESTA like program? Assuming your fiancee can support you, you might be able stay with them while you wait for I-129F approval. 

 

Good luck, and hopefully your situation improves soon! 

OP can try to visit using their Esta, but that’s about it.. They won’t be able to ‘stay’ until the I-129f is approved. 

[powerpuff 6,703]

26 minutes ago, Hopeful Dreams said:

 

I understand the seperation issue but It's not really to do with that, It's more so being forced into leaving her by my parents and waiting such a long time for everything to process

I understand, however the point still stands that it is not possible to speed up the process due to the circumstances you described

 

5 minutes ago, Hopeful Dreams said:

 

I have an ESTA, but I thought you can't reside there whilst we wait for the approval? How would I go about doing that? They are more than capable in supporting me 😕 

That’s correct. You can’t use ESTA to live there or wait out the process. You can only visit 

 

If your fiancé is capable of supporting you and considering that this is a difficult situation, maybe she can help you rent something while you look for another job.

Edited April 23 by powerpuff
Clarification

[alliejourney 61]

8 minutes ago, Hopeful Dreams said:

 

I have an ESTA, but I thought you can't reside there whilst we wait for the approval? How would I go about doing that? They are more than capable in supporting me 😕

 

You cannot move there indefinitely during the stay, but you are certainly allowed to visit for as long as your ESTA would allow. Not a permanent solution to your problem, because I'm sure it wouldn't allow you to live there for the full couple of years that you're looking at while everything processes, but you are absolutely allowed to travel to the US for brief relief.

 

Could your partner perhaps help support you financially? Would they be able to contribute at all to you renting a place of your own while you find better work? As others have said, I'd focus on cutting your parents off and trying to improve your situation. Unfortunately the process is going to be long.

[Daphne . 1,866]

10 minutes ago, Hopeful Dreams said:

 

 

Yes you are right but the issue is they don't want me to get a new job, they are trying to force me out of my current one to just stay at home and follow their demands.. So If I do try to get a new job they want me out of the house there and then its really complicated

Time to put on your big boy/girl pants and take control of your life! I know it’s easier said than done and there might be some cultural things happening here but again, you are an adult. Get a new job, see if you can crash at a friend’s house until you find a room, etc. If your partner is financially stable enough, they can also support you for the time being. 

Edited April 23 by Daphne .

[JeanneAdil 6,510]

important to understand why family is against the relationship 

if it is for any red flag issues like she ,  the USC ,  is a lot older than u ,  than it's also important to embassy interview

[Crazy Cat 41,884]

26 minutes ago, alliejourney said:

but you are certainly allowed to visit for as long as your ESTA would allow.

I would not stay for the full time allowed.  Short visits are better. If CBP even thinks the OP is trying to live in the US on VWP, some very negative consequences can occur.  

[smilingstone 175]

Sorry to read about your difficult situation, OP. All of the advice here is incredibly valid and should be seriously considered. Especially with regards to finding a more consistent income, moving out of the family home and establishing a positive support network.

 

My thoughts to you is that you won't achieve anything you want in life without taking a chance. Sometimes that means upsetting our friends and families, but it is your life to live - not theirs.

 

The K1 wait is painful, but nothing worth having in life is ever easy to achieve. You can do it.

Edited April 23 by smilingstone

[Scott-Ilyn 81]

Hi I'm sorry about your situation.

 

Here is what I would do.  Talk calmly to your family and see why they are against the relationship.  Consider their thoughts and feelings.  If they are being unrealistic and controlling, then I would make plans to move out.  You could would work multiple jobs.  This would allow you to be away from home more often and away from their controlling tendencies.  Save, Save, Save money until you can afford to find a place (room or apt) to live on your own.  Maybe you have to move away from your family to avoid the higher cost of living.  Once you have living arrangement, you will be totally free from your family's controlling ways.  Keep working hard until you have your basic necessities met.  Then, you can save for some form of transportation (car/motorcycle/bike).

 

I agree with @Daphne .comments.  I would think of this as adventure with a great reward at the end.  You get to be with your fiance/wife and you'll be so busy working, you won't notice the long wait. 

 

A lot of information is left out in your post.  How old are you? What country you're from? Do you have public transportation?  Feel free to share if you feel comfortable.

[Allaboutwaiting 2,503]

I have a question: you say you proposed when she was there with you, so, where did you both stay when she visited and you proposed?