A Poll on Jealousy

[tnh9479 1]

I am curious how many people feel they have experienced "jealousy" from their SO's countrypeople.

I personally find it amazing how many have expressed something to the effect they have. I NEVER experienced anything like this in my husband's country. The people we met were SO amazing. Outside of family, they only ever wanted to know where I was from (they thought Great Britain at first) and to just practice some English with me. The only issue I ever ran into is that most people thought the Americans supported Bush and his policies. Once that it was clear that it wasn't the way I felt, the demeanor would immediately change. I really felt embraced by EVERYONE that I met. Then again, I went with no preconceptions. I think if you are looking for something, you see it(kind of like what comes around goes around) even if it is not there.

Edited August 8, 2007 by tnh9479

[mybackpages 0]

I'm completely with you on this. Jealousy is a reality in all cultures, but to say that it exisit as sort of us vs them mentality is such a simplication of the complexity of culture. I suspect what people are percieving as "jealousy" is somthing the USC is misreading 99% of the time. Often its our own behavior that is being perceived differntly that what we are intending.

[mybackpages 0]

I also want to add that this look of "jealousy" that so many USC want to attribute to the women in MENA could be a disaproving look because the USC is behaving in some manner that is not seen as appropriate behavior for a woman and certain assumptions are being made. I've seen women touch, dress, flirt ...all kinds of behavior that just seem as if they have no respect for certain social mores.

[peezey 0]

Y'all know my opinion.

[sarah and hicham 3]

Clearly all women in all MENA countries are jealous of American women visiting MENA. Mhmmm.

[Ban Hammer 13,340]

Clearly all women in all MENA countries are jealous of American women visiting MENA. Mhmmm.

i don't believe that was stated..........

[caybee 21]

I wasn't aware of anything that looked like jealousy. My husband noticed people looking at us, and was surprised, but I didn't even notice that very much. But I don't make a lot of eye contact with people I don't know -- maybe that's why I missed it. He read it as pure curiosity and was a little amused by it. His family members that I met were and are very loving toward me, without exception. But the facial language, gestures, etc in Morocco are almost as different from what is familiar to me as the spoken language is. I misread posts here on VJ from time to time, lacking vocal and visual cues, and I'm sure I misread faces in Morocco, not having much experience with the culture and language. When I'm there, I basically assume everyone around me has a positive or indifferent reaction to my existence. If someone has a negative reaction, my husband will let me know -- that is, if it really matters that I know.

[Donna A 4]

to my knowlege no one was jelous. in fact no one ever knew i was ameican and would try to talk to me in arabic and i would just look dumb and not answer and my husband would have to explain i didnt understand them cuz i was american and they would just smile at me then.

one of his sisters was not happy we were marring becasue she want him to marry her husbands sister but after he said no he was not interested in her then she welcomed me in with no problems.

as for that the rest of his family treated me very well and his mom loved me and thought i was beautiful and his dad said he was happy that he married me.

[chaishai 1]

What is the definition of jealousy? I voted yes but I am not sure if it is for the type of jealousy you are talking about. Lots of women around where my husband comes from and his sisters and sister in law are jealous of me. For example I have a belly button ring, my sister in law sees it and then she runs to tel aviv and gets her belly button pierced. Things she doesnt have and cant buy there she just sits around being jealous about it... If I just overall look good to go out I can tell it bothers her. Similar stuff with other women. Also even though their quality of life is pretty good there, I know they are jealous of my lifestyle and luxuries that I have. But its not just because of what I look like or the fact that I married my husband. Its obvious jealousy though. I have similar issues with israeli women in america, some particularly from the south/of sephardic heritage can be VERY jealous of what other people have. Not all - but some. A generalization, I know.

[chaishai 1]

What is the definition of jealousy? I voted yes but I am not sure if it is for the type of jealousy you are talking about. Lots of women around where my husband comes from and his sisters and sister in law are jealous of me. For example I have a belly button ring, my sister in law sees it and then she runs to tel aviv and gets her belly button pierced. Things she doesnt have and cant buy there she just sits around being jealous about it... If I just overall look good to go out I can tell it bothers her. Similar stuff with other women. Also even though their quality of life is pretty good there, I know they are jealous of my lifestyle and luxuries that I have. But its not just because of what I look like or the fact that I married my husband. Its obvious jealousy though. I have similar issues with israeli women in america, some particularly from the south/of sephardic heritage can be VERY jealous of what other people have. Not all - but some. A generalization, I know.

OK I dont know how to edit my post but I wanted to say I just read that other post about the same topic and I definately think that my version of jealousy is different. I definately havent experienced "jealousy" just because as I am walking down the street. My experiences of jealously were clearly other israeli women particularly those I knew and especially my sisters in law "wanting my x, y and z". Its not always jealousy - sometimes they just wish they had x, y and z in a nice way - but other times it will cause my sisters in law to make snarky comments, act immature, etc.... and you can tell its just b/c they are jealous of a particular thing or situation. They also (my sisters in law) compete with each other and are jealous of each other...

[chasnik 0]

People looked when I was there....at times you could feel them stare even if you werent looking....I dont think it was jealousy, just curiosity. Usually as americans going into a different place we kind of stick out whether by looks, attitude or just mode of dressing. Mohammeds sister told me there were some comments made about Mo being with an american and not a moroccan girl, but that was aimed more at the situation at hand not me. This just my opinion of course and we know what they say about those

[hollyw 0]

i was a strawberry blonde w/ freckles in a sea of dark hair or hijabs. i stood out big time. but i got the feeling that people stared more out of curiosity than jealousy, especially because i was in a town that didn't get a lot of tourists. most people thought i was french because my husband and i speak french to each other. after a while i got used to the staring and my husband was exhausted from trying to stare back at people to get them to stop. whenever we'd go out with one of his family members they couldn't believe the number of people staring. i felt like some kind of celebrity

[chaishai 1]

i was a strawberry blonde w/ freckles in a sea of dark hair or hijabs. i stood out big time. but i got the feeling that people stared more out of curiosity than jealousy, especially because i was in a town that didn't get a lot of tourists. most people thought i was french because my husband and i speak french to each other. after a while i got used to the staring and my husband was exhausted from trying to stare back at people to get them to stop. whenever we'd go out with one of his family members they couldn't believe the number of people staring. i felt like some kind of celebrity

random staring etc from women didnt happen to me in israel, or in other mena countries like morocco and tunisia for the most part - however when i went to the philippines EVERYONE stared at me and the people who i worked with in the office there told me i looked like demi moore (HAAAAA!!!!!) its funny b/c all of the americans i was with they said oh you look like this celebrity or that celebrity. they like comparing people to celebrities its pretty funny....

of course in most countries i think you get the random staring from men. and that weird sound that they make in some countries like morocco like they are sucking in air or something. ugh! when i was in morocco i dressed SO conservatively but you still get unwanted attention sometimes. i dont think its jealousy though especially when its coming from the opposite sex!

[peezey 0]

What is the definition of jealousy? I voted yes but I am not sure if it is for the type of jealousy you are talking about. Lots of women around where my husband comes from and his sisters and sister in law are jealous of me. For example I have a belly button ring, my sister in law sees it and then she runs to tel aviv and gets her belly button pierced. Things she doesnt have and cant buy there she just sits around being jealous about it... If I just overall look good to go out I can tell it bothers her. Similar stuff with other women. Also even though their quality of life is pretty good there, I know they are jealous of my lifestyle and luxuries that I have. But its not just because of what I look like or the fact that I married my husband. Its obvious jealousy though. I have similar issues with israeli women in america, some particularly from the south/of sephardic heritage can be VERY jealous of what other people have. Not all - but some. A generalization, I know.

OK I dont know how to edit my post but I wanted to say I just read that other post about the same topic and I definately think that my version of jealousy is different. I definately havent experienced "jealousy" just because as I am walking down the street. My experiences of jealously were clearly other israeli women particularly those I knew and especially my sisters in law "wanting my x, y and z". Its not always jealousy - sometimes they just wish they had x, y and z in a nice way - but other times it will cause my sisters in law to make snarky comments, act immature, etc.... and you can tell its just b/c they are jealous of a particular thing or situation. They also (my sisters in law) compete with each other and are jealous of each other...

Your last sentence is exactly what we've been trying to say. There are jealousy issues all around the world, and the reasons they are jealous of you are no different than when they are jealous of each other. You aren't getting the special family jealous treatment just because of who you are, which is what many of us have been trying to illustrate.

[Cheryl & Medo 3]

When i was in Egypt I had a couple older woman give me evil eyes. But most every one stared alot. I had some teenage girls want a picture of me with them. And some other women comment on my hair to each other. My husband heard what they said, they liked the color of my hair. I kinda felt like a rock star there. At first it bothered me then i just played it off like i was a rock star.