I gotta say Thanks to you all

[The_dip_sticks 0]

DEE I’m truly sorry that you had to go through all of this. It’s a shame that this man did not see or value the wonderful wife he had in you and that he ruined his chance of working towards building a better future together. Good luck to him on starting his own business when he gets back to Egypt.

Im proud of you for not being shy about this whole situation since day one. You have proven to be a strong woman. You tried your best and did all that you could. Physical mental or emotional abuse should never be tolerated UNDER ANY CIMCUMSTANCES. I commend you for being a great example to all women. The safety of your kids and your own come before any thing else. I feel that you should go back to your house and have the Imam or some one come get him. Its not fair that you have to leave YOUR home while he makes all the trouble and is nice and cozy in your place. Dont worry if he has no where to go, let him go with your so called friend they deserve each other after all the BS that they have cooked up against you. If she was good enough to poison him she should be good enough to take him in now that he is out since she collaborated in doing so much damage to your marriage. A true friend would see the sings from afar and would not be supportive of such demented, idiotic, and abusive behavior. That is no friend at all. You should go back and take control of your house and send him packing. Put a restraining order on him in case he tries to come back or gets abusive when you ask him to leave.

Stay strong Dee I will keep you and your kids in my prayers.

Edited August 10, 2007 by The_dip_sticks

[Ban Hammer 13,334]

well.. last night took a turn for the worst. The fight about being a "Lesbian" exploded again @ 11 pm? Apparently when looking through my stuff he found a picture of me and one of my best friends of 13 years... This was before I convered.. hair out.. etc. Well The picture has me puckering(mouth closed) a kiss at her cheek and her mouth is open.. showing teeth.. a piece of tongue.. piercings and everything near mine (no tongue OR lip action )....... BUT apparently this picture "proves" I am a lesbian...... That she is inlove with me... etc

He told me he found a picture that proved everything... And i racked my brain of what God awful picture i took in my crazy days... but HONESTLY i couldnt think of ANY pic like that...

When he should me the pic I had to laugh.. It was Completely NUTS that..... It escalated into Finding out that our Mutual friend has also been feeding him BS.. telling him I am still talking to 2 american muslim men online in myspace.. and a BUNCH of other ####### (my friendship to her is now OVER)

Around 2:30 am things got physical... and I IMMEDIATLY decided that was the LAST time that was going to be done to me.. the fighting, name calling etc continued until 6 am... (during this time I stood frozen.. staring at the same white dot on a black checkered square in my kitchen)

He fell asleep.. I quietly got my kids up, dressed and snuck out the house.....

Now I am staying somewhere until he is gone........

Last night was it... It is over.. No more

oh dee i'm so sorry to hear this happened.

well now I am sitting in my families house... not sure what to do with myself... I left in my pajama's.. thats all i have with me..

And I went to the bank and cancelled the checks for AOS/ EAD... I'll give him the $ back OR apply it to a airplane ticket..

I'll worry about actually contacting them in a few days.......

just to be safe, don't post where you are in any public site as it seems your friend is doing her best to not be a friend. good idea with the aos/ead.

Good for you. But you know what? You need to kick HIM out and go back to your home. Its your place not his and you have the kids. Maybe your so called friend that led to the demise of your relationship should take him in. She didn't seem to have a problem getting involved to this point. Don't worry about where he is gonna go either, let him cope and deal with it.

agreed. she needs to file a police report and take the cops with her when she returns.

[lion_lioness 0]

He isn't here illegally, he can't be deported. The police aren't going to take him anywhere, he is in his own house.

I'm hoping the imam can go to the apartment, get him, take him somewhere to stay overnight for a few days until his flight leaves.

Dee, I think filing a police report is a good idea. It solidifies this whole thing, and it can start to put into place a restraining order.

Hi not that I am an expert, but when my ex husband pushed me and I called the police (he was from morocco) they told me to be 100% sure I wanted to file the complaing. They said they would love nothing more than to take him in, but that once I started it would most likely end up in deportation and that they had seen it before. My ex had his greencard at this point and the police said that did not matter.

I could be wrong, but it may be possible to get deported especially since he isn't even a greencard holder.

[lion_lioness 0]

I also wanted to say this so called friend may have wanted your husband from the start. I don't want to cause any gossip or say something out of place, so if I do please forgive me, but since she introduced you guys do you think this may have been the plan to get him here in the first place? Also, I don't know much about egyptian culture but with my ex husband and my husband, marital discussions are not to be discussed with friends. Its always better to go to the parents. My husband and I had a couple of disagreements and once we talked to a female friend of mine, but he will not talk to her unless I am present. Otherwise, we talk to our parents and take advice from them. It's been small things, but still he does not like the idea of "others" getting involved. This is why I question both the so called friend and your husbands initial intentions.

Nevertheless, I am so sorry this has happened. I don't know you, but from what I've read you are a very strong woman. For you and your kids. Not to mention, thank you for not being shy about sharing your experience here. I think some ppl seem to think its all roses once the men get here. They are human and sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't. Hopefully any one else who may face this issue will take strength from how you handled things and know it's not ok, nor is it "adjustment." So Dee, THANK YOU.

I think Peezey and Amira gave the best advice - get him out of your house, call the imam AND the police (based on my experience they can make him leave). Smart move on cancelling those checks as well. When you feel up to it you can go to your local USCIS office and put in a request to cancel the AOS.

Again, I hope I didn't say anything out of line and I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

[chri'stina 190]

If the friend who wrote that stuff introduced the two of you then she knew him first. So it may not be that she wants him for herself but that she believes his word over Dee's because she knew him first. Just another perspective in all this.

[sarah and hicham 3]

Wow. I am so sorry but so happy for you that you ended it. You are a strong woman!

[Gladiator 0]

Al Salamo Alyikom (peace be upon you):

Mrs. Deemabrouk:

I am not sending this post to ask you to stay with your husband or not. But, I want to give your attention for a fact; it may be hidden among clouds, fog and the dark lines of the situation you are facing. Allah Almighty states an important fact in a verse that talks about divorce;

The Translation of the Meanings of the Quran by Muhammad Asad

{[2:237]And if you divorce them before having touched them, but after having settled a dower upon them, then [give them] half of what you have settled – unless it be that they forgo their claim or he in whose hand is the marriage-tie forgoes his claim [to half of the dower]: and to forgo what is due to you is more in accord with God-consciousness. And forget not [that you are to act with] grace towards one another: verily, God sees all that you do.}

Even if during divorce, do not forget that both of you had some good moments someday. He sometimes made you laugh and felt with happiness. Both of you have shared the same life and had dreamed with the dreams. Both of you sometimes were so caring about the other. Do not forget the love was in you heart for him. Do not let the anger inside you now turns your kind personality. Do not let the Satan take his interest from you.

Allah Almighty put a solution for your problem in His Book; have you tried it.

The Translation of the Meanings of the Quran by Muhammad Asad

{[4:35]And if you have reason to fear that a breach might occur between a [married] couple, appoint an arbiter from among his people and an arbiter from among her people; if they both want to set things aright, God may bring about their reconciliation. Behold, God is indeed all-knowing, aware.}

Please, put these words in your consideration "if they both want to set things aright". So, if you both guys still want this relationship to workout, insha Allah the result will be "God may bring about their reconciliation".

Allah Almighty assists and guides and blesses you sister for what causes the best for you.

I and he came from the same background. Again, if you want me to talk with him, I may help insha Allah.

[peezey 0]

Al Salamo Alyikom (peace be upon you):

Mrs. Deemabrouk:

I am not sending this post to ask you to stay with your husband or not. But, I want to give your attention for a fact; it may be hidden among clouds, fog and the dark lines of the situation you are facing. Allah Almighty states an important fact in a verse that talks about divorce;

The Translation of the Meanings of the Quran by Muhammad Asad

{[2:237]And if you divorce them before having touched them, but after having settled a dower upon them, then [give them] half of what you have settled – unless it be that they forgo their claim or he in whose hand is the marriage-tie forgoes his claim [to half of the dower]: and to forgo what is due to you is more in accord with God-consciousness. And forget not [that you are to act with] grace towards one another: verily, God sees all that you do.}

Even if during divorce, do not forget that both of you had some good moments someday. He sometimes made you laugh and felt with happiness. Both of you have shared the same life and had dreamed with the dreams. Both of you sometimes were so caring about the other. Do not forget the love was in you heart for him. Do not let the anger inside you now turns your kind personality. Do not let the Satan take his interest from you.

Allah Almighty put a solution for your problem in His Book; have you tried it.

The Translation of the Meanings of the Quran by Muhammad Asad

{[4:35]And if you have reason to fear that a breach might occur between a [married] couple, appoint an arbiter from among his people and an arbiter from among her people; if they both want to set things aright, God may bring about their reconciliation. Behold, God is indeed all-knowing, aware.}

Please, put these words in your consideration "if they both want to set things aright". So, if you both guys still want this relationship to workout, insha Allah the result will be "God may bring about their reconciliation".

Allah Almighty assists and guides and blesses you sister for what causes the best for you.

I and he came from the same background. Again, if you want me to talk with him, I may help insha Allah.

####### kind of b.s. is this? If they want WHAT to work out? He is abusive and he got physical last night. Why don't you rustle up some quotes about what the qu'ran says about a MAN WHO BEATS AND EMOTIONALLY ABUSES HIS WIFE?

unfriggingbelievable

[rebeccajo 14]

He isn't here illegally, he can't be deported. The police aren't going to take him anywhere, he is in his own house.

I'm hoping the imam can go to the apartment, get him, take him somewhere to stay overnight for a few days until his flight leaves.

Dee, I think filing a police report is a good idea. It solidifies this whole thing, and it can start to put into place a restraining order.

Hi not that I am an expert, but when my ex husband pushed me and I called the police (he was from morocco) they told me to be 100% sure I wanted to file the complaing. They said they would love nothing more than to take him in, but that once I started it would most likely end up in deportation and that they had seen it before. My ex had his greencard at this point and the police said that did not matter.

I could be wrong, but it may be possible to get deported especially since he isn't even a greencard holder.

You're not wrong. A criminal conviction could buy him a one-way ticket back home. I am uncertain about just being charged with a crime. But at any rate - don't ever call the law out in a family matter unless you mean business. These days, even if the complaining spouse drops the charges, law enforcement can continue to pursue the matter.

Dee, your husband has no idea of the concept of family. You know what I said earlier about everyone sticking together for the good of the family? That means EVERYBODY. When that is violated to the degree you have experienced, then the remaining family unit needs to join ranks, stay safe, and cling to each other.

And if somebody told me Allah wouldn't send me another 'good' man like that - my response to that would be 'praise Allah'.

You're in my thoughts -

Becca

[sarah and hicham 3]

Al Salamo Alyikom (peace be upon you):

Mrs. Deemabrouk:

I am not sending this post to ask you to stay with your husband or not. But, I want to give your attention for a fact; it may be hidden among clouds, fog and the dark lines of the situation you are facing. Allah Almighty states an important fact in a verse that talks about divorce;

The Translation of the Meanings of the Quran by Muhammad Asad

{[2:237]And if you divorce them before having touched them, but after having settled a dower upon them, then [give them] half of what you have settled – unless it be that they forgo their claim or he in whose hand is the marriage-tie forgoes his claim [to half of the dower]: and to forgo what is due to you is more in accord with God-consciousness. And forget not [that you are to act with] grace towards one another: verily, God sees all that you do.}

Even if during divorce, do not forget that both of you had some good moments someday. He sometimes made you laugh and felt with happiness. Both of you have shared the same life and had dreamed with the dreams. Both of you sometimes were so caring about the other. Do not forget the love was in you heart for him. Do not let the anger inside you now turns your kind personality. Do not let the Satan take his interest from you.

Allah Almighty put a solution for your problem in His Book; have you tried it.

The Translation of the Meanings of the Quran by Muhammad Asad

{[4:35]And if you have reason to fear that a breach might occur between a [married] couple, appoint an arbiter from among his people and an arbiter from among her people; if they both want to set things aright, God may bring about their reconciliation. Behold, God is indeed all-knowing, aware.}

Please, put these words in your consideration "if they both want to set things aright". So, if you both guys still want this relationship to workout, insha Allah the result will be "God may bring about their reconciliation".

Allah Almighty assists and guides and blesses you sister for what causes the best for you.

I and he came from the same background. Again, if you want me to talk with him, I may help insha Allah.

####### kind of b.s. is this? If they want WHAT to work out? He is abusive and he got physical last night. Why don't you rustle up some quotes about what the qu'ran says about a MAN WHO BEATS AND EMOTIONALLY ABUSES HIS WIFE?

unfriggingbelievable

Ditto.

That's pretty messed up that you are posting that. Do you also want her to give him half of everything she owns?

[Nagishkaw 510]

If the friend who wrote that stuff introduced the two of you then she knew him first. So it may not be that she wants him for herself but that she believes his word over Dee's because she knew him first. Just another perspective in all this.

\

Dee,

After reading this thread, I must say my heart is very sad for you . I will pray you receive clarity and wisdom over this matter. I have no answers or advise to give, as I believe you know what is best. You and your children are safe and that is all that matters now.

I think 'Stina makes a good point here. Remember to keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer.

[JODO 2]

Al Salamo Alyikom (peace be upon you):

Mrs. Deemabrouk:

I am not sending this post to ask you to stay with your husband or not. But, I want to give your attention for a fact; it may be hidden among clouds, fog and the dark lines of the situation you are facing. Allah Almighty states an important fact in a verse that talks about divorce;

The Translation of the Meanings of the Quran by Muhammad Asad

{[2:237]And if you divorce them before having touched them, but after having settled a dower upon them, then [give them] half of what you have settled – unless it be that they forgo their claim or he in whose hand is the marriage-tie forgoes his claim [to half of the dower]: and to forgo what is due to you is more in accord with God-consciousness. And forget not [that you are to act with] grace towards one another: verily, God sees all that you do.}

Even if during divorce, do not forget that both of you had some good moments someday. He sometimes made you laugh and felt with happiness. Both of you have shared the same life and had dreamed with the dreams. Both of you sometimes were so caring about the other. Do not forget the love was in you heart for him. Do not let the anger inside you now turns your kind personality. Do not let the Satan take his interest from you.

Allah Almighty put a solution for your problem in His Book; have you tried it.

The Translation of the Meanings of the Quran by Muhammad Asad

{[4:35]And if you have reason to fear that a breach might occur between a [married] couple, appoint an arbiter from among his people and an arbiter from among her people; if they both want to set things aright, God may bring about their reconciliation. Behold, God is indeed all-knowing, aware.}

Please, put these words in your consideration "if they both want to set things aright". So, if you both guys still want this relationship to workout, insha Allah the result will be "God may bring about their reconciliation".

Allah Almighty assists and guides and blesses you sister for what causes the best for you.

I and he came from the same background. Again, if you want me to talk with him, I may help insha Allah.

STFUUUUUUUUUUUUU Now this may be the wine talking,but you have some nerve!!!!!!!! Her husband is a total, whack job!!!!!!!

[sarah and hicham 3]

Al Salamo Alyikom (peace be upon you):

Mrs. Deemabrouk:

I am not sending this post to ask you to stay with your husband or not. But, I want to give your attention for a fact; it may be hidden among clouds, fog and the dark lines of the situation you are facing. Allah Almighty states an important fact in a verse that talks about divorce;

The Translation of the Meanings of the Quran by Muhammad Asad

{[2:237]And if you divorce them before having touched them, but after having settled a dower upon them, then [give them] half of what you have settled – unless it be that they forgo their claim or he in whose hand is the marriage-tie forgoes his claim [to half of the dower]: and to forgo what is due to you is more in accord with God-consciousness. And forget not [that you are to act with] grace towards one another: verily, God sees all that you do.}

Even if during divorce, do not forget that both of you had some good moments someday. He sometimes made you laugh and felt with happiness. Both of you have shared the same life and had dreamed with the dreams. Both of you sometimes were so caring about the other. Do not forget the love was in you heart for him. Do not let the anger inside you now turns your kind personality. Do not let the Satan take his interest from you.

Allah Almighty put a solution for your problem in His Book; have you tried it.

The Translation of the Meanings of the Quran by Muhammad Asad

{[4:35]And if you have reason to fear that a breach might occur between a [married] couple, appoint an arbiter from among his people and an arbiter from among her people; if they both want to set things aright, God may bring about their reconciliation. Behold, God is indeed all-knowing, aware.}

Please, put these words in your consideration "if they both want to set things aright". So, if you both guys still want this relationship to workout, insha Allah the result will be "God may bring about their reconciliation".

Allah Almighty assists and guides and blesses you sister for what causes the best for you.

I and he came from the same background. Again, if you want me to talk with him, I may help insha Allah.

STFUUUUUUUUUUUUU Now this may be the wine talking,but you have some nerve!!!!!!!! Her husband is a total, whack job!!!!!!!

The whack job is Gladiator. What the ###### is wrong with that man?

[JODO 2]

Al Salamo Alyikom (peace be upon you):

Mrs. Deemabrouk:

I am not sending this post to ask you to stay with your husband or not. But, I want to give your attention for a fact; it may be hidden among clouds, fog and the dark lines of the situation you are facing. Allah Almighty states an important fact in a verse that talks about divorce;

The Translation of the Meanings of the Quran by Muhammad Asad

{[2:237]And if you divorce them before having touched them, but after having settled a dower upon them, then [give them] half of what you have settled – unless it be that they forgo their claim or he in whose hand is the marriage-tie forgoes his claim [to half of the dower]: and to forgo what is due to you is more in accord with God-consciousness. And forget not [that you are to act with] grace towards one another: verily, God sees all that you do.}

Even if during divorce, do not forget that both of you had some good moments someday. He sometimes made you laugh and felt with happiness. Both of you have shared the same life and had dreamed with the dreams. Both of you sometimes were so caring about the other. Do not forget the love was in you heart for him. Do not let the anger inside you now turns your kind personality. Do not let the Satan take his interest from you.

Allah Almighty put a solution for your problem in His Book; have you tried it.

The Translation of the Meanings of the Quran by Muhammad Asad

{[4:35]And if you have reason to fear that a breach might occur between a [married] couple, appoint an arbiter from among his people and an arbiter from among her people; if they both want to set things aright, God may bring about their reconciliation. Behold, God is indeed all-knowing, aware.}

Please, put these words in your consideration "if they both want to set things aright". So, if you both guys still want this relationship to workout, insha Allah the result will be "God may bring about their reconciliation".

Allah Almighty assists and guides and blesses you sister for what causes the best for you.

I and he came from the same background. Again, if you want me to talk with him, I may help insha Allah.

STFUUUUUUUUUUUUU Now this may be the wine talking,but you have some nerve!!!!!!!! Her husband is a total, whack job!!!!!!!

The whack job is Gladiator. What the ###### is wrong with that man?

Yep it is not helpful.

[mybackpages 0]

Al Salamo Alyikom (peace be upon you):

Mrs. Deemabrouk:

I am not sending this post to ask you to stay with your husband or not. But, I want to give your attention for a fact; it may be hidden among clouds, fog and the dark lines of the situation you are facing. Allah Almighty states an important fact in a verse that talks about divorce;

The Translation of the Meanings of the Quran by Muhammad Asad

{[2:237]And if you divorce them before having touched them, but after having settled a dower upon them, then [give them] half of what you have settled – unless it be that they forgo their claim or he in whose hand is the marriage-tie forgoes his claim [to half of the dower]: and to forgo what is due to you is more in accord with God-consciousness. And forget not [that you are to act with] grace towards one another: verily, God sees all that you do.}

Even if during divorce, do not forget that both of you had some good moments someday. He sometimes made you laugh and felt with happiness. Both of you have shared the same life and had dreamed with the dreams. Both of you sometimes were so caring about the other. Do not forget the love was in you heart for him. Do not let the anger inside you now turns your kind personality. Do not let the Satan take his interest from you.

Allah Almighty put a solution for your problem in His Book; have you tried it.

The Translation of the Meanings of the Quran by Muhammad Asad

{[4:35]And if you have reason to fear that a breach might occur between a [married] couple, appoint an arbiter from among his people and an arbiter from among her people; if they both want to set things aright, God may bring about their reconciliation. Behold, God is indeed all-knowing, aware.}

Please, put these words in your consideration "if they both want to set things aright". So, if you both guys still want this relationship to workout, insha Allah the result will be "God may bring about their reconciliation".

Allah Almighty assists and guides and blesses you sister for what causes the best for you.

I and he came from the same background. Again, if you want me to talk with him, I may help insha Allah.

Of course in normal circumstances conflict betwen a husband and wife should be mediated and they should try to find common ground...but this is not normal circumstances. The quran is very clear. A husband has no right to harm his wife. Maybe you should try to find some guidance from the quran to guide her husband in the right direction.