I gotta say Thanks to you all

[Caladan 19]

dee, you can know yourself that whatever comes of this, YOU gave it YOUR best shot. This wasn't your failure.

visa4habibi, since you quoted me and then flipped out, there's a difference between 'i'm feeling homesick and frustrated because I can't figure out how the mail system works in this country' and 'i'm going through her underwear drawer because I think she's a lesbian, frightening her kids and being emotionally abusive and still demanding sex.'

There's always adjustment issues, but 'culture shock' isn't a blank cheque to be an abusive a$shole. I'm sorry if that shocks you or makes you think that everyone else is kicking out their husbands at the slightest difficulty, but there you go.

[sarah and hicham 3]

Dee,

I cannot believe he is doing this to you! Going through your stuff? That's too much.

Good luck

[chasnik 0]

I just wanted to tell you that I am sorry your going through this. It's hard to start with when we have kids to make the decision to bring another adult into the mix then when things do not go as planned regardless of where the SO is from it is horrible. Stay strong, your in my prayers.

[Beauty for Ashes 257]

I have to say thanks to all of you MENA/ VJ'er.. I got a huge amount of PM's showing me support.. Thank you SOO MUCH for the support.. and the offer of a "shoulder"

I actually was surprised at the amount of people who say they are dealing with the same thing

I never really thought this would be life life once he got here

Nothing has gotten better.. maybe i guess worse. I'm on the verge of loosing my job.. I couldnt even go in today.. and I am calling out tomorrow too..

I finally cornered him to speak to a religious leader (imam).. and my out look towards our future in Not a good one... but God knows.. I DO love him... but I will NOT tolerate living how I have had to live these past 3 weeks

I got a few comments that I should be grateful that atleast my man is here... And believe me.. I was Very thankful things went as quickly as they did... BUT abusive behavior.. mental, emotional and physical will NOT be tolerated.. even if this is supposed to be an "adjusting period" of our life together/ getting used to living in america... ESPECIALLY infront of my VERY impressionable 5 and 6 year old boys....... my home is NOT supposed to be a war ground.. but my santuary.

for all of those who confided in me about what they are dealing with now... or what they feel might happen in the future..

Please think with your head and not your heart.. IF he is NOT even hear yet and MY story makes me nervous that this is your future... think LONG and hard BEFORE he comes into the country.. ESPECIALLY if you have kids...

anyways...

thanks everybody

Well.... from the sounds of it, I think that you need to tell him a big no on any business loan and have him get a real job. You do not need to get him all involved in a business this new in the country. He can get a job like anyone else and then make the contacts to start a business. Second, I think that with certain men used to bossing everyone around that there will be a period of adjustment.Its up to you whether you want to put up with it or not. As far as you cheating? When the hell would you have time to cheat? You have 2 kids and you have been struggling to get him here. I am so sorry but some of these guys do this when they get here.... I do not think he is trying to sabotage your relationship. I think he is genuinely just flipping out. I get scared when some of the guys who just get here hook up with some of the local scammers and they start putting things in the guys head( better not get into this subject...flames will start) Thats a subject for pm not the boards. Lets just put it this way, some of his new found friends may NOT be the best thing for your marriage. Especially ones who have married for papers and left the Americans. They can put stuff in his head and have him start questioning your whole relationship. I know that when I am with my husband , I am not allowed messengers and the one I have he wants to see. This is a control issue and possesiveness. He could think you are chatting with other men or about him .. who knows? Anyway, just dont take any loans out for him and let him go to work and make some money. Lots of people have to work for years before starting businesses

[deemabrouk 0]

well.. last night took a turn for the worst. The fight about being a "Lesbian" exploded again @ 11 pm? Apparently when looking through my stuff he found a picture of me and one of my best friends of 13 years... This was before I convered.. hair out.. etc. Well The picture has me puckering(mouth closed) a kiss at her cheek and her mouth is open.. showing teeth.. a piece of tongue.. piercings and everything near mine (no tongue OR lip action )....... BUT apparently this picture "proves" I am a lesbian...... That she is inlove with me... etc

He told me he found a picture that proved everything... And i racked my brain of what God awful picture i took in my crazy days... but HONESTLY i couldnt think of ANY pic like that...

When he should me the pic I had to laugh.. It was Completely NUTS that..... It escalated into Finding out that our Mutual friend has also been feeding him BS.. telling him I am still talking to 2 american muslim men online in myspace.. and a BUNCH of other ####### (my friendship to her is now OVER)

Around 2:30 am things got physical... and I IMMEDIATLY decided that was the LAST time that was going to be done to me.. the fighting, name calling etc continued until 6 am... (during this time I stood frozen.. staring at the same white dot on a black checkered square in my kitchen)

He fell asleep.. I quietly got my kids up, dressed and snuck out the house.....

Now I am staying somewhere until he is gone........

Last night was it... It is over.. No more

[Caladan 19]

God, dee. *hug* I'm so sorry.

[LaL 418]

omg Dee. stay safe.

[mybackpages 0]

Like others all i can muster is OMG!

[RAKASA 0]

Dee - ***hugs*** - I'm so sorry it has all come to this. I am glad you got yourself and the kids out safely. I wish you all the very best in what's to come and I hope that your life can regain some normalcy soon. Stay strong, stay safe - we're here for you.

[deemabrouk 0]

i cant believe this is my life.......

[monnik 0]

Stay safe, dee. You are a great mom for protecting your boys!!!

(F)(F)(F)(F)(F)(F)(F)(F)

And, don't forget that Melinda posted that she has experience and education in dealing with situations similar to yours. She may be able to offer guidance.

God bless you and your babies.

[sara535 15]

take care, Dee.

[peezey 0]

I'm so sorry about this, Dee.

[♥JP♥ 5]

I'm sorry this happened to you but on the flip side I'm glad to see your strength shining through and doing what is right for your kids.

[deemabrouk 0]

to add more salt to the wound... I just read this from my "friend" on myspace... the one that introduced us.. Yesterday I deleted her profile from my page after I found out she was showing my private page to my husband - trying to start sh*t.. She left this for me today......

"it is just kinda shocked for me coz i wasnot imagine how stupied i am to think that there is a tru friends this days but that is okey we live and learn and i will not give any one another chance if somebody hurt me that will be the end .

i hope u a happy life and if u want my real advice try to be a good wife and thx Allah for what he gave u and try to change ur way coz ALLAH testing us every day and he give us to see if we..ll thx him by beeing good with what he gave .

Mohamed is not this bad he is a good muslem man and in the past i thought that is all what u need but ALLAH is the one who knows what is in the people..s heart and it seems to me now that u wasnot looking for a good muslem as much as u was looking for temporary pain killer for ur life ,i am telling u as sister in Islam if u lost mohamed u..ll never ever find another good guy to take care or handle u or ur kids ALLAH knows what in my heart and inshallah he..ll rewared me.and stop listen to ur friends coz they will destroy ur life ,if u..ll not make some effort to be good wife to ur husband and treat him good and instadd of worry about the halal meat u should worry about ur praying.

Plz DEE do not contact me any more i donot wanna hear any thing about u i believe ***** now when he told me one time that "There is No freinds any more"