I gotta say Thanks to you all

[a1angied 0]

Dee I hope you are ok and can ignore this nonsense on here. I came to see how you are doing and prayer you are holding up as well as possible.

God Speed things will get resolved quickly.

Angie

[doodlebug 3]

Good God I gotta pull out the big guns don't I.

[MHandMB 0]

Dee, I hope you're doing well today, and that you're starting to see some direction unfold in where things are going for you. We're all rooting for you!

[LaL 418]

ok guys - the other topic brewing in this one has been split to try to revive the support for Dee in a contructive way .

[deemabrouk 0]

well I do NOT mean to have a soap opera thread "called "The Road to Divorce", starring Deemabrouk and her husband".. I am not trying to dramatize my reality.. BUt to only make OTHERS see it is NOT peaches and cream.... Like I stated before - After I post my situation i got a HANDFUL of woman confiding that they are dealing with this too OR they fear this is their future... PLUS this site is the ONLY place where I have some sort of understanding of a long distance/ oversea's / visa journey.. No one else in my life seems to understand this... And out of all of this I seem to be gettin the "I told you so!" mentality from my friends and family cause I married a arab/ long distance guy.. VJ is my only outet for that.

Over the weekend my "saga" has taken another turn too... This is competely nuts..

Saturday my Muslim/ arab friends decided to do an "intervention" with me - Which completely pissed me off.. I dont think our friendship will be the same.

I while back they decided to have a bar-b-q for Mohamed - have all the wifes/ husbands get together.. Well the poop hit the fan.. I left (like you guys know)

I called my friend Sat. morning to let her know we were NOT coming.. to Only be told she had already spoke to him.. and had talked to him for 2/3 HOURS!!!!!! And from what she gathered.. I was the one at fault!!!! I freaked out.. Told her MY side.. then she started singing a different tune.. In the end she Still told me to come by with the kids.. her kids were waiting for us.. the food ETC... I ONLY AGREED IF HE WAS NOT GOING TO BE THERE

i get there and realise something is UP.. the looks on their face... I knew something was gonna happen... my friend said she had to pick up her husband at the T station and would be back and I stated again IF HE IS COMING HERE I AM LEAVING... THIS IS NOT A JOKE.... she AGAIN reassured me she was getting her husband.. and at this point my kids had ran off to be with the other kids..

this was a LIE!!!! I was in the house.. still wary.. and I hear his voice coming into the house!!!!!! I was SOOOOOOOO angry.. i was screaming for my kids.. demanding to Leave.. I FREAKED OUT!!!!!!!!

they told me they are convinced he "gets it" now... They talked to him and told him all the ####### he was doing was WRONG.. Apparently he left the house on Friday and found his way to the Cambridge Mosque which had the Egyptian Imam... (i set up a time a week or so ago for him to talk to him... but he refused to meet him.. he sat in the car) I guess mohamed thought I was going to be at Jumma?? But anyways... I guess he even sat down with the Imam after the "sermon" for a hour or so... Also getting "schooled" that his behavior was Completely Inappropriate!!! and this stuff in America with a American Muslim wife just doesnt fly!!!!!

So at this point my "Friends" wanted to give him a opportunity to apologise.. Kiss my feet even They BEGGED me to give him ONE MORE WEEK.. I explained he had his "one week" after the talk with the First Imam.. but they said this is different cause he then got school by the woman in Arabic... and then the Egyptian Imam..

I swear I freaked out and cried.. for a hour cornered in one of the bedrooms.. I kept on telling him.. he needs to go home.. its not working... He needs a Egyptian wife.. and NOT someone like me!!!!!!!!!! I told him to After "all those woman he passed up to marry me!"

My friends and him continued to beg me for ONE MORE week trial.. and that then.. if ANYTHING happened.. One argument.. One bad word.. One threat.. ANYTHING.. he WILL go back home

After several hours of this.. I agreed that he could have ONE more week.. BUT he had to APOLOGISE and convince my family too.. over this behavior.. and eveything he did CAUSE now my family knows and are involved!!!!

AND IF he can convice my family.. apologise to them and etc.. and THEY too agree.. He gets ONE LAST CHANCE!!!!!!!

[LaL 418]

dee - that sounds like duress to me.

[peezey 0]

Oh, Dee. I feel like you were forced into this. I wish you had more local support. These people do not sound like your friends.

[deemabrouk 0]

they all got in their car and followed me to my aunts house (mom would of stabbed him.. plus she is away)

SO Mohamed apologised to Her over what had happened... and my friends too tried to convice her and me again to give him one last chance... then they PERSONALLY would escort him out the house and drive him to the airport..

IN the end my Aunt accepted the apology.. and the terms to the next week. We all were there until 10 pm talking about this..

He left without me.. I returned home yesterday after noon...... Under STRICT terms

i still dont know how i feel about this.... i dont have a positive outlook

but given what had happened...... and especially my families approval.....

i dont know..... who knows

[doodlebug 3]

well she has me but I'm really no use other than a phonecall since he's bigger than me.

In any event, I felt the same way as you all feel when I heard this BUT if her aunt, who's just as feisty as her , agreed to let her give him one more week then I think maybe we should all just wait and see. I know she's a very strong woman and I know she'll be out the door in two seconds if he so much as raises his voice to her again.

Stay strong Dee!

[hollyw 0]

perhaps it's time to get the VJ MENA Boston ladies together......

[JODO 2]

Well Dee I know you will eventually do what is best for you and your kids. I will pray that you remain safe and keep your courage and strength up. Some of these "friends" you have, well, I just don't know about them,but I know you are trying to do the best you can.

[deemabrouk 0]

it's hard.. cause at this point I think I'm done.... but I DO love him... I DID marry him with the intentions of Forever... BUT i will NOT live my life like this.. His apology to my aunt did mean alot to me... Especially most "abuser's" would never "go there".. It will be interesting to see when my mom comes around.. Cause he owes her a apology/ promise to her too.... And she will rip him a "new one"

I dont know...

slightly...

Divorce IS made Halal in Islam.. Of course no one really wants it.. BUT you cant cast stones on something that is made Halal... !!!!!!! and for the sake of Allah swt.. no one is suppose to live in a abusive life !

[Mrs.J06 4]

Wish you all the best, Dee, take care of yourself and the kids.

[sarah and hicham 3]

Wow Dee, I'm so sorry. It sounds like his and your "friends" just don't want to see him go back to Egypt. I know you will do the right thing for yourself and your kids.

[The_dip_sticks 0]

Dee, I hope that things work out if that is what you want, I just eery about this whole issue because it feels like your friends pushed you into accepting him back. In the end you should do what your heart tells you and thats it. Also make sure that if your going to take him back there will be no more communication with that so called "friend" of yours that was filling his head with mumbo jumbo. I do hope that he is sincere about his appology and willingness to change. Stay strong Dee.