Boeing 737 Max 9 In Trouble Again

[TBoneTX 45,259]

Boeing Proudly Announces It Has Fixed Malfunctioning Whistleblower

 

[...] "That should take care of everything," a Boeing spokesman said.  "After extensive investigation into the recent engineering and design quality issues, we determined that many of these problems could be traced back to this whistleblower.  We are proud to announce that we have, in fact, fixed the whistleblower.  Permanently."  [...]

 

https://babylonbee.com/news/boeing-proudly-announces-it-has-fixed-malfunctioning-whistleblower

[TBoneTX 45,259]

This one hits 2 or 3 topics all at once.

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Illegal Immigrants Politely Decline Free Flight On A Boeing

 

[...] After illegally crossing the southern border, the Guatemalan migrants were kindly welcomed by government agents and offered a plane ticket free of charge, which they were glad to accept until they discovered the plane was a Boeing 737.

 

"No thank you, I think I'll just walk instead," one migrant said through an interpreter as he walked out onto the tarmac at the airport and saw the plane.  [...]

 

https://babylonbee.com/news/illegal-immigrant-politely-declines-free-flight-on-a-boeing

[TBoneTX 45,259]

New Boeing 737 Toy Features Wings That Really Fall Off

U.S. — A new airplane toy modeled after the Boeing 737 features "real in-flight damage" in which the jet's wings really fall off.

"Wow!  The wings really fall off, just like in real life!" said a boy in a television commercial for the product.  "Crash!  Bang!  Ahh!  We're all gonna' die!  Hahahaha!"  [...]

 

https://babylonbee.com/news/new-boeing-737-toy-features-wings-that-really-fall-off

[TBoneTX 45,259]

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Boeing Employees Explain Why They Refuse To Fly In Boeing Aircraft

 

The Onion asked Boeing employees whether they would fly in a Boeing aircraft, and this is what they said.  [...]

 

https://www.theonion.com/boeing-employees-explain-why-they-refuse-to-fly-in-boei-1851340150

[TBoneTX 45,259]

Boeing Board Forces CEO To Resign After Evidence Surfaces He Is A White Male

 

ARLINGTON, VA — In a bid to further solidify the company's push for diversity, equity, and inclusion, Boeing CEO Dave Calhoun announced he would be resigning after evidence surfaced that he is a white male.  [...]

 

https://babylonbee.com/news/boeing-ceo-announces-resignation-after-evidence-surfaces-he-is-a-white-male

[TBoneTX 45,259]

Boeing Whistleblower Claims 787 Could Fall Apart and 'Drop to the Ground,' Wouldn't Put His Family on One

 

Boeing engineer turned whistleblower Sam Salehpour appeared on NBC News Tuesday evening and said the company's 787 Dreamliner could literally fall apart and "drop to the ground" due to assembly flaws and that he wouldn't feel safe putting his family on one.

 

He is expected to testify before a U.S. Senate subcommittee Wednesday about what he sees as devastating safety issues at the aircraft industry company.

 

The problem is so dangerous he thinks the entire fleet should be grounded:  [...]

 

https://redstate.com/bobhoge/2024/04/16/boeing-whistleblower-claims-787-could-fall-apart-and-drop-to-the-ground-wouldnt-put-his-family-on-one-n2172888

[TBoneTX 45,259]

Boeing Engineer:  'I Was Told, Frankly, to Shut Up.'

 

[...] The testimony offered here is alarming.  Mr. Salehpour, who is still employed by Boeing, testified to having seen Boeing employees "jump up and down" on parts of aircraft under production to make the parts fit, instead of the more secure and time-consuming process of "shimming" the parts, which means to insert thin strips of metal to produce the proper fit.

 

Another whistleblower, Ed Pierson, a former Boeing engineer, testified that records do exist of the Boeing worker who installed the door plug that blew off a Boeing 737 MAX airplane over Oregon in January, stating that he had personally turned those records over to the FBI.  The FBI has not commented on the matter.  [...]

 

https://redstate.com/wardclark/2024/04/17/boeing-engineer-i-was-told-frankly-to-shut-up-n2172920

[TBoneTX 45,259]

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Flight Attendant On A Boeing Gives Presentation On What To Do In The Unlikely Event Of A Safe Landing

 

DENVER, CO — On American Airlines Flight 9947 from Denver to Atlanta, flight attendant Kimberly Glover gave an updated presentation on what passengers were to do in the unlikely event of a safe landing of their Boeing 737 MAX aircraft.

"In the unlikely event that our plane makes it to Atlanta in one piece, here is what we will do," Kimberly began.  "The wheels will touch down on a runway and the pilot will taxi the aircraft to a terminal.  Once the aircraft comes to a complete stop, the seatbelt light will turn off and then we can each unbuckle our seatbelt, stand up to grab our bags from the overhead compartment, and orderly disembark by rows starting at the front of your Boeing 737 MAX aircraft."  [...]

 

https://babylonbee.com/news/flight-attendant-on-a-boeing-gives-presentation-on-what-to-do-in-the-unlikely-event-of-a-safe-landing

[TBoneTX 45,259]

Boeing Admits to Falsifying Inspection Records

 

[...] The Federal Aviation Administration announced yesterday that they were opening an investigation into the company after Boeing reported that workers at its South Carolina production plant had falsified inspection records on some of its new 787 Dreamliner planes.  The Dreamliner has already fallen behind its original production schedule and this sort of investigation isn't likely to help them catch up.  Also, the inspection records in question sound rather important, so people will probably need to go back and run the tests again on their completed aircraft.  [...]

 

https://hotair.com/jazz-shaw/2024/05/07/boeing-admits-to-falsifying-inspection-records-n3787930

[TBoneTX 45,259]

Family Unsure If Watching Beautiful Meteor Shower Or Just Boeing Plane

 

TEMPE, AZ — The Jennings family enjoyed an incredible light show in the night sky, though it was unclear if it was from a meteor shower or from pieces of airplane falling off a Boeing.

"Wow, look at the meteor... or maybe an airplane wing," said Steve Jennings, observing the show.  "It's breathtaking.  Or maybe really tragic, I'm not sure yet."  [...]

 

https://babylonbee.com/news/family-unsure-if-watching-beautiful-meteor-shower-or-just-boeing-plane