1A4 Denial Twice Now

[Cathi 5,746]

I find it hard to believe he failed the test a full 3 months after the last time he smoked. It doesn't sound like he's being honest with you.

[SalishSea 17,801]

11 hours ago, SamLo said:

Yeah I have thought about that extensively. However I would have to sell my place and pretty much all of my belongings. And then if and when he does get to come we would have nowhere to go. And would it be for just another year? We started this process 6 years ago so it seems neverending at this point. Also the island is expensive and my fiance barely makes enough to survive. I would have a difficult time finding a job so we would be struggling just to eat. My kids are in school and have their life here. A hurricane hit the island a few years ago and destroyed everything, including the hospital. Our mode of transportation is a motorbike and people get hurt all the time from accidents and have to wait for hours to get shipped off to the bigger island to get medical care, which is frightening as a mother. I am only allowed to stay for 3 months unless I get a visa myself, which can be done but I would need money to travel and pay all the fees and stay in hotels, not to mention just getting to the island with 3 people is very expensive. You also have to have special permission to stay on the island, which pretty much just means you need to give them a lot of money. If money was not an issue then we could make it happen. But right now, at this point in my life, I just don't think it's the best option for my children. It's not an easy decision but it is swayed by our lack of finances. 

As the biggest stakeholder in all of this, it is his sole responsibility to comply with the terms of US immigrant visas if he wants to live here.   Just passively waiting a year and expecting it to “all work out” seems naive at best.  
 

You may want to look at relocating both of you to a different part of Columbia if you want your family to be reunited.   I don’t foresee a different outcome a year from now.

[SalishSea 17,801]

6 hours ago, SamLo said:

You are saying it is REQUIRED to get 4 drug tests, but where is this information coming from? I've read on other threads that that isn't always the case. I appreciate the help but you're coming off rude and condescending. Asking for someone to simplify it for me like I'm too simple to understand what you're saying. I'm going by what the consulate is telling me to do. Please show me where it says he must do drug tests every 3 months.

What Family (who is one of the kinder VJ members, in fact) is saying is that the consulate will not spoon-feed you the requirements to overcome this inadmissibility.   Why?  Well, because honestly that is not their job.
 

If he really does want to immigrate to the U.S., it is  100% your husband’s responsibility to figure out his next step by contacting the clinic where he had the medical exam.  

Neither the clinic nor the United States consulate will be proactive about it- it’s entirely up to the applicant.
 

I'm sure it’s frustrating for you to be trying to do this on his behalf, but really he needs to step up and take an active role in this, since it is entirely down to his choices.

[SamLo 1]

Thank you everyone who took the time to help explain everything to me. I agree that taking a drug test after being clean for 3 months sounds suspicious. I've never caught him in a lie so I don't know what to believe. I guess we have been naive to believe the government would explain what we need to do and there would be some kind of checklist. We will keep pestering the medical office. We will look into getting him drug tested throughout the next year. Without an Internet connection drug rehab will be difficult to find but we will look into it that as well. Again, thank you for your advice and hopefully this will all lead to my kids having their father in 2025.

[Pinkrlion 2,715]

You don’t have to go to rehab. 

[Crazy Cat 41,810]

20 minutes ago, Pinkrlion said:

You don’t have to go to rehab. 

Correct.  However, OP said "He's been a heavy user for over half his life so it's been difficult for him to stop."   I don't expect quitting will be easy for him.  A year is a long time to stay clean without a lot of support.

Edited December 31, 2023 by Crazy Cat

[TBoneTX 45,258]

A recent post irrelevant to this situation has been removed, and this old thread is now locked to further comment.  If the OP returns, she's welcome to start a new thread and copy into it the link to this thread for reference.