We might not get married this time but we will in the future. What can we do

[coco1201 0]

 

Does anyone go through "after entering America with K1, but marriage don't happen for some reason. but still keeping the relationship with the partner"?

After I got to the US, almost one month passed, me and my fiance got in to huge argument. We made up with each other. but he is saying he is not sure if he's ready for the marriage now. He's not thinking about breakup and 100% sure that he wants to keep this relationship.

We still have 50days to decide, but he doesn't know if he can make up his mind.

 

My question is ..

1. if I leave America, K1 visa is gone. in that case, next time I come to the US with ESTA, is it possible?

2. when we decide to get married for example like 6 month later, Do I have to wait 2years to apply visa no matter what?

 

If there are anyone who gone through similar situation, please give me some advise or share the detail. thank you.

[OldUser 6,607]

21 minutes ago, coco1201 said:

My question is ..

1. if I leave America, K1 visa is gone. in that case, next time I come to the US with ESTA, is it possible?

Maybe. You may be denied ESTA and would need to apply for B1/B2, which is never guaranteed.

 

21 minutes ago, coco1201 said:

2. when we decide to get married for example like 6 month later, Do I have to wait 2years to apply visa no matter what?

Yes, you're starting from scratch.

 

 

You need to think about the following things:

1. Are you sure this is the right relationship to be in?

2. Are you sure your fiance has a valid point or is he trying to control / manipulate you?

 

These points are super important, because if he is a manipulator, you'll face this again during:

 

1. Visa process

2. AOS process (if you're gonna go via K-1 again)

3. Removal of Conditions

 

Either way, you can still marry outside of the US and get a spousal visa next time, which is a superior choice. You may have to put extra effort to prove your relationship is genuine because of not proceeding with AOS now.

 

 

Very sorry to hear you had a big argument. Immigration is stressful, so is the new relationship. There's new challenges for him as well as you.

 

If you still have time, you can discuss what's the best for two of you.

Edited December 11, 2023 by OldUser

[IWander 589]

Don't be surprised if you are never approved on ESTA again.

[Boiler 45,445]

You can never be certain but I doubt ESTA will be impacted.

 

If in the future you do decide to marry then yes you are looking at filing an I 130 and maybe 18 months.

[TexasRafael 134]

2 hours ago, OldUser said:

Maybe. You may be denied ESTA and would need to apply for B1/B2, which is never guaranteed.

 

Yes, you're starting from scratch.

 

 

You need to think about the following things:

1. Are you sure this is the right relationship to be in?

2. Are you sure your fiance has a valid point or is he trying to control / manipulate you?

 

These points are super important, because if he is a manipulator, you'll face this again during:

 

1. Visa process

2. AOS process (if you're gonna go via K-1 again)

3. Removal of Conditions

 

Either way, you can still marry outside of the US and get a spousal visa next time, which is a superior choice. You may have to put extra effort to prove your relationship is genuine because of not proceeding with AOS now.

 

 

Very sorry to hear you had a big argument. Immigration is stressful, so is the new relationship. There's new challenges for him as well as you.

 

If you still have time, you can discuss what's the best for two of you.

Best Reply.  Especially about being sure you are not being manipulated.

[Ontarkie 14,216]

~~Moved to Effects of Major Family Changes, from K1 P&P - The OP is now in the US entry with the K1.~~

[Ontarkie 14,216]

There have been a many threads over the years. These are my thoughts and what I've read on here over the years.

 

 

First your fiance was supposed to be sure before he uprooted and moved you to the US. He even made a statement of just that.

It is always possible that when  together full time that reality sets in and that is fine and dandy but you don't get to toy with someone life like that. You get honest with them and end the relationship and let them go home. 

 

You've been here a month and he already has changed his mind.  Sure he says he doesn't want to break up but not ready to marry. It's not a try before yo buy visa he knew this full well. He's already telling you that he doesn't think he can make-up his mind in 50 days. Well too bad buddy he had nearly 2 years to make-up his mind and now all of a sudden he doesn't know. I call baloney he knew full well long before you came and was too chicken to tell you. 

 

You asked about getting married in 6 months. Does he expect you to stay in the US without any type of status and hoping he will marry you one day? While you are waiting for him you put yourself at risk for losing ESTA, getting a ban and even deportation.  These are all real possibilities that can happen to you, not him but you. He has no worries at all, he doesn't even have to support you and can even toss you out to the road with no repercussions. The risk for you is too great, pack up and go home long before your 90 days are up. If you have to convince him it is not worth it. 

 

If you decide not to give up on this relationship, go home and really really work on your relationship with him. He is the one who needs to step up not you. Let him prove to you he is ready, but make sure he isn't doing it because you are pushing him. 

 

 

As for others stories like this, you can find many on here. The USC changes his mind, something is not ready, too much work, and many other excuses. Sometimes they do get married like day 95 then no big deal life moves forward, but the majority of those couples, the USC doesn't start off saying they don't want to get married. Something out of their control or an emergency. 

 

 

Now this is truly the worst of the worse that I have seen on here.

 USC convinces the foreign fiance to stay, while draining the fiance's savings dry, boots fiance to the road after, fiance now has a ban for overstaying. 

 the abuse starts (no i'm not saying this is going to happen to you) without marriage the fiance also has no case for VAWA so they stay until they can't take it anymore or stays illegal always worried. If they leave they have incurred a ban. 

plays house making babies but never marry, kicks the other parent out, ugly custody battle begins, most are not lucky enough to leave with their child(ren) and then can't get back to the US to visit. Thanks to overstaying the 90 days. At the whims of the USC to talk,video chat with their child(ren). 

 

 

I'm also going to guess you have your own doubts about him moving forward to marry or you would not have been on here asking others their thoughts. Please follow your gut, it never lies. 

I also want to add you cannot come back later on with ESTA or a visitor visa to get married once you leave with the intent to adjust it doesn't work like that. He will have to start all over again with the spousal visa, 

 

 

 

Edited December 11, 2023 by Ontarkie

[Sam Burns 155]

Imagine going through all the stress of the K1 during a pandemic to get here and then your fiancé pulls a move like that, I’m not sure it’s worth continuing with this relationship. If he’s like this now, what happens when there are other things to get stressed about or argue over. Right now you’re looking at months of unemployment if you through with the marriage. 

[SteveInBostonI130 3,432]

You both signed a letter to USCIS stating that you will marry within 90 days of entering the US.

 

You both signed a second letter stating the same to DOS.

 

The letters are non-binding, but reneging those statements may influence any future decisions.

 

There will be greater scrutiny if either of you apply for a K1 in the future.  CR1 may or may not be impacted.  ESTA and B1/B2 may also be impacted because you have shown immigrant intent.

[discoverusa 258]

If he makes up his mind and decides to be with you, then have him immigrate to your country instead. 

 

It is really inconsiderate of him to change his mind after you left your life, family and work or school behind to be with him. I don't think this is even forgivable. I sense this might be the end. 

[SalishSea 17,801]

56 minutes ago, discoverusa said:

If he makes up his mind and decides to be with you, then have him immigrate to your country instead. 

This option never seems to be on the table.....

[milimelo 4,475]

^^ What Ontarkie above said. 

We also see a lot of (s)he wouldn't marry, can I marry someone else? Not on K1 visa you can't - it's a visa from hell IMO as USC has the upper hand and can string you along until I-94 has expired and then you're out of status, can't change to a different status, can't AOS. 

 

Next time, if you leave and do get married, spousal visa only should be your consideration - you're an LPR from activating your immigrant visa at POE, can work from day 1, faster time to citizenship, and I'd say peace of mind for the immigrant that should anything happen they're protected. 

[Boiler 45,445]

You can marry someone else on a K1

 

You cannot adjust through that

[JeanneAdil 6,489]

I would not marry at this point even if he wanted to do it ASAP

he is manipulative and could decide not to do the AOS process for your green card Later 

 

u can not force a person to marry even if they promise 

California does allow suing for breach of promise to marry  / usually no monetary award but in your case u left home,  family and possibly a job.  i would see a lawyer /if he agrees to sue/  give him a POA to handle the case and then fly home

 

California: Cal. Civ. Code § 43.4 (2005). A fraudulent promise to marry or to cohabit after marriage does not give rise to a cause of action for damages.

 

 

[OldUser 6,607]

9 minutes ago, JeanneAdil said:

I would not marry at this point even if he wanted to do it ASAP

he is manipulative and could decide not to do the AOS process for your green card Later 

Or he can file AOS and say he won't come to the interview if one is scheduled.

 

Or he'll threaten to divorce while AOS is pending.

 

Or similar things as above during ROC stage.

 

Unless OP lied about something significant or cheated, the USC is likely excercising his power.