When you want to strangle your co-sponsor.

[HannahP 119]

Preface: I know that immigration is not a right and certainly having my father co-sponsor us is not something that he *had* to do, but I feel like I'm going to go insane if I don't rant for a little while?

First it was convincing my dad that, yes, Chris would need a visa to come live and work in the US:

"But he's Canadian! That's practically American!"

And then it was convincing him that he could not bribe the officials into making things go faster.

"No dad, we don't need to spend the money on an attorney...no, an attorney isn't going to speed things up either. You can't bribe the officials, no!"

I think it's because he's been an ER doc for years and years; when things do not fit his preconceived notion of what they should be, everyone else must be wrong.

Fast forward: the boy made it into the country. He already has a social security number because of his time here on a student visa. Unfortunately, we have to wait another three weeks to get married because his parents wanted to fly in. Fine. We should still slide in right before the fee increase, right?

In steps my beloved daddy, co-sponsor:

"Dad, I called the IRS today to get my tax return. You need to call today as well so we'll get the package in before the fee increase."

"I already have my tax return and W2. I'll bring it to work and you can come get it, okay?"

It takes a few days. I get my tax return from the IRS; the deadline is creeping ever closer.

Finally -- what does my dad hand me?

His W2 and a penciled in, half-finished...income tax return rubric. Not the actual 1040 that you file with the government, but a *rubric* of it.

"Um, dad, I don't think this will work. I need a copy of your actual 1040 that you sent in or the transcript that you can order from the IRS."

"That's what they wanted! It says so right on this papers that you gave me earlier!"

(Okay, don't argue with him. He's convinced that he's right."

"Dad, we can't afford to get a RFE. That could hold up Chris' work permit by another three months..."

On and on in circles, talking for an hour.

Ahhh!

I just want to send in the AOS/EAD package!

[Suitelady79 0]

LOL, that was such a funny story! You gotta love dear old dad though! He's really hooking you up here! I've noticed that most people know nothing about immigration (I was in that boat myself until I was faced with having made a love connection in another country) so it might take a little time for him to grasp some of the concepts. Unfortunately if you have not already sent the papers in, you will have to pay the higher fees. So don't even stress about it now. It's all water under the bridge. And think about it like this...at least your husband is here. Have dad go on and order his transcripts. They usually come pretty quickly. But I was DYING laughing that he penciled in a form half way and gave that to you. Your dad is HILARIOUS!

Best wishes, and relax...everything will work out just fine!

~L

[HannahP 119]

Hehe.

Thanks. I hope I don't come off as a whiny brat; I'm very grateful for what I have and that the process has been relatively painless compared to what some people have gone through on here...it's just that I've *tried* to educate my family as I've educated myself and my dad is really the last one to "get" it. I'll have to post pictures of my pre-wedding dinner some time. We went to a really nice restaurant, and he showed up in bright pink safari-themed scrubs! *cry*

I keep telling myself that any distance we get from the AOS/EAD/AP pre-fee-increase glut will probably make the process faster...

The total cluelessness is definitely something I've noticed. Yeah, it's hilarious how Americans seem to think of Canada as the 51st state, but it also makes me cringe inwardly every time I get the "But he's just a Canadian!" line. I get the impression that if he were from Mexico or Saudi Arabia, I wouldn't get the easy laughter and hearty congratulations that I *do* get because I'm marrying a foreigner who happens to be white and speaks perfect English. But, eh. :/

[Mags 112]

Immigration is a stressful time enough, without having to contend with family members who can be frustrating at the best of times.

If your dad hasn't managed to get his documents together I can only suggest taking with you a copy of exactly what he needs, and then trying to sit down with him and work out what you need to get together. Would he feel happier if you could put the packet together as a "team"? Another thought is that he actually doesn't quite understand what he has to do and brushes off his confusion with the kind of reaction you saw.

Best of luck for the rest of the process!

Edit: I'm going to move this into the AOS general forum; I think it falls under that category more than just the EAD/AP/SS number one.

Edited August 1, 2007 by Mags

[thetreble 19]

Haha that was a funny story and I think a lot of us can relate because families do have a hard time understanding. I'm canadian and my husband is american. I don't think either of our sets of parents knew we would have to go through this complicated process and still don't understand it fully. I hope you get what you need and your dad concedes with thinking he's always right

[misa 2]

Some people just aren't good at direction and forms. How about you fill out the IRS tax transcript request form for him and then point to where he needs to sign, then fax the request off yourself.

I prepped almost all my paperwork and just pointed at where I needed my husband to sign and gave him checklists of documents I needed him to get. He didn't ask "why?", just gathered what I needed.

[^KK^ 3]

Thanks to DAD!!! He's great though.

[rebeccajo 14]

Docs usually aren't great at paperwork. That's why they have secretaries and accountants.

If your Dad is a self-employed surgeon, you will need the last 3 years of his tax returns. If he's on hospital salary, one year should do.

*runs and hides - please don't shoot the messenger*

[Suitelady79 0]

I'll have to post pictures of my pre-wedding dinner some time. We went to a really nice restaurant, and he showed up in bright pink safari-themed scrubs! *cry*

YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO POST THE PICS OF THAT!!! THAT IS HILARIOUS. I think your dad sounds great! I'm sure it's annoying to you but he sounds like I would be in stitches all the time if I knew him! Just take it easy! I understand where you're coming from. Dear old Dad may never really get it...but pretty soon your husband will be all adjusted and you won't have to explain it anymore after that. Good luck, girly!

[HannahP 119]

Docs usually aren't great at paperwork. That's why they have secretaries and accountants.

If your Dad is a self-employed surgeon, you will need the last 3 years of his tax returns. If he's on hospital salary, one year should do.

*runs and hides - please don't shoot the messenger*

My dad is a member of a doctor's group that contracts with the hospital's emergency department, so he's not self-employed. Thank god!

He actually does most of his own paperwork. He's just...always convinced that he's right!

Mags - thanks for moving the thread! I've been obsessing about the EAD (US citizenship isn't a big deal to either of us) so much that I automatically thought to put it in that forum. One. Track. Mind.

misa - I ended up having my husband call the IRS number and request a transcript for my dad. So it's winging its way to us; hopefully soon.

SuiteLady79 - Clicky. The pants were bright pink. Everyone else was in business casual. He did show up to the actual ceremony in a suit, much to the utter shock of everyone involved. Shhh.

[thetreble 19]

Nice Scrubbbbsss Dad! haha