Divorce

[Public Charge 101 10]

My husband wants a divorce...he just got here on the 7th of October...I feel used

[Crazy Cat 41,850]

How long have you been married?  Since 2018?

Edited October 17, 2023 by Crazy Cat

[Public Charge 101 10]

Thank you for replying...yes since 2018

[Timona 4,207]

Why does he want a divorce? What reason did he give you? 

How many times did you visit him in Gambia? 

[Public Charge 101 10]

I went twice and he said that it's not working cause I told him that he treats me like a maid and not a wife...he wants me to weigh on him and and foot and if I don't get gets upset and tell me that is why he married me 

[Boiler 45,497]

Not an immigration issue, he has a 10 year GC. You need a divorce lawyer.

[Timona 4,207]

52 minutes ago, Public Charge 101 said:

I went twice and he said that it's not working cause I told him that he treats me like a maid and not a wife...he wants me to weigh on him and and foot and if I don't get gets upset and tell me that is why he married me 

 

I don't understand the bolded.  

 

Seems he wants out after getting GC.

Why didn't he not want out before GC? Sorry, no option but divorce and move on. 

[Boiler 45,497]

13 minutes ago, Timona said:

 

I don't understand the bolded.  

 

Seems he wants out after getting GC.

Why didn't he not want out before GC? Sorry, no option but divorce and move on. 

Wait on him I assumed.

[SalishSea 17,829]

3 hours ago, Public Charge 101 said:

My husband wants a divorce...he just got here on the 7th of October...I feel used

That’s unfortunate.   Cut your losses and move on….there’s nothing that can be done now.   For others reading, this is a lesson in why it is SO important to spend as much time as possible together before marrying.   Two visits in 5 years of marriage is not enough time to know someone!

[SalishSea 17,829]

2 hours ago, Public Charge 101 said:

I went twice and he said that it's not working cause I told him that he treats me like a maid and not a wife...he wants me to weigh on him and and foot and if I don't get gets upset and tell me that is why he married me 

Illustrates the importance of understanding cultural expectations of marriage ahead of time.

[SalishSea 17,829]

You may also want to let the joint sponsor know that they remain on the hook for his support.

[African Zealot 1,455]

15 minutes ago, SalishSea said:

That’s unfortunate.   Cut your losses and move on….there’s nothing that can be done now.   For others reading, this is a lesson in why it is SO important to spend as much time as possible together before marrying.   Two visits in 5 years of marriage is not enough time to know someone!

I just don’t buy into that spending as much time getting to know him spiel that gets thrown around here so often.

 

If a person is bent on getting a green card by “using” someone, spending those long visits together will reveal almost nothing plus for most people it’s not practical, they have lives and jobs that prevent such long multiple visits. Such snakes know how to hide their true feelings until they get what they desire. I know personally about several such situations.

 

Spending time together only works when the two people are genuinely trying to have a relationship, then spending time together reveals incompatibilities because they’re not faking it/acting.

 

Whether ten visits or two, you’re almost certainly not going to sniff out a dedicated snake.

 

To the OP: Yes it’s very likely you’ve been taken advantage of by a person who was never really committed to make the marriage work and securing the green card was the cardinal agenda.  Unfortunately in life that’s how sometimes the cookie crumbles.

 

Good luck!

Edited October 17, 2023 by African Zealot

[Boiler 45,497]

I agree there is nothing that is foolproof but sometimes you shake your head.

[Public Charge 101 10]

Thank you all for replying I truly appreciate it. I will let his co sponsor know which is his cousin. I hurts and he knows that I love him. I did everything I could to make him happy. I left bills and my own needs aside to buy what he wanted just to make him feel comfortable here and all I got in return is a broken heart

[Cathi 5,748]

55 minutes ago, Public Charge 101 said:

Thank you all for replying I truly appreciate it. I will let his co sponsor know which is his cousin. I hurts and he knows that I love him. I did everything I could to make him happy. I left bills and my own needs aside to buy what he wanted just to make him feel comfortable here and all I got in return is a broken heart

I'm really very sorry, no one here takes any joy in seeing such posts. The only good thing here is that the joint sponsor is his own cousin.